She felt like part of her life had just been shattered and she didn’t know how to pick up the pieces.
She finally forced herself to go home, to seek out relief for her headache.
Misha did not greet her at the door when she unlocked it. Kelly gave a sad smile. At least Joe wanted his dog with him, even if he didn’t want her.
Her answering machine was blinking with a solitary message. She hesitated before touching the blue button to replay the message. “Kelly, please, call me when you get home. We need to talk.”
Her finger on the delete button erased it and the sound of his voice.
* * *
If Kelly was trying to avoid him, she couldn’t have done it better. Joe set down the equipment summaries he had been trying his best to focus on. He had the office to himself as Boomer just left to check on the C-130 pallet loads.
Joe had told Kelly they needed to go back to just being friends because he couldn’t handle the distractions with his work, and all Kelly had managed to do today with her silence was totally distract him.
He had handled it all wrong. He couldn’t blame her for not wanting to talk to him, but he didn’t like the idea of her crawling away to lick her wounds in private. Up until this disaster, she had turned to him when things went wrong.
He hadn’t slept, and even the house felt wrong this morning.
Joe reached for the phone.
“Marsha, I need a favor. You said you do apologies.”
* * *
The bouquet of daisies was delivered as Kelly was reading the special section of the newspaper devoted to the upcoming Memorial Day events. Monday was going to be a hard day to get through, and she had counted on Joe being beside her. There would be an honors service at Nick’s graveside. She knew Joe would come to the ceremony and she almost wished he wouldn’t.
Kelly opened the card that came with the flowers.
Please accept my apology. I never intended to hurt you. Joe.
She sighed and wished she had the courage to call him. “Joe, you didn’t hurt me. I let my expectations hurt me. I assumed you wanted the same thing I did. I’m the one who said the three words that got us into this mess.”
Rather than have to deal with letting the phone ring, listening again to the answering machine take his call, for she knew he would call again, Kelly reached for her keys and went to the hallway closet to get the camera bag. Nick had been the photographer, but he had taught her enough to get by. She would drive up the coast and take photos rather than stay here and try to pretend nothing was wrong.
She was a coward not to want to talk to him, but it simply hurt too much. Joe had made his decision. Now she had to find a way to live with it and find a way to do it with grace. Joe didn’t need to be worried about her. But she couldn’t turn the emotions and dreams off in an instant. She needed this weekend to adapt. She would because she had no choice. God had promised to be her refuge. And she needed one.
* * *
The invitation to drive out to the wilderness camp came from one of the parents as Joe was debating how to spend what looked like a long Thursday. He had the rest of the week off, Kelly still wasn’t talking to him, and he didn’t think it was fair to track her down and force the issue.
He might have just lost his best friend, and the pain was acute. He deserved it for breaking her heart; he’d seen what a blow his words had been. If only he could undo his rush into saying I want to date. He had seen the problems even then, yet had ignored them and gone ahead, thinking they would disappear.
Lord, I hurt Kelly. I need to talk with You.
He left Misha with Boomer and drove over to meet Henry. He had a backpack with him on the chance he decided to stay out at the base camp until the group came back on Saturday.
Joe needed time in the wilderness with God. He was in a wilderness now of his own making. There had to be a place of peace for both him and Kelly. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. He owed her so much. He would find a way to get them both to that place.
Twenty-Eight
* * *
Charles opened the lower drawer of his desk, his memory drawer. The precious memories of a lifetime were stored there, from pictures of Ryan as an infant to the diaries and letters his wife had written. He retrieved with care the small box he had recently added to the drawer. Closing the drawer, he placed the box on his desk next to the letter he had spent days drafting. He opened it and picked up what rested on a cushion of cotton batting. Nick’s eagle.
He knew Kelly had to be searching for the medallion by now, and he regretted having found it necessary to take something so personal to her. He knew of no better way to make sure Joe understood the danger Kelly was in than to deliver the medallion to Joe at the same time he sent a note signed as Raider. He needed the message to be blunt and direct. Protecting Kelly had become as important to him as protecting his own son. The men trailing him had killed Iris; he was not going to let them get to Kelly.
The misdirection had worked. The device was arriving tomorrow in Taiwan via a grain barge passing through Hong Kong.
He was relieved the SEAL team was home unharmed. He had known when he set up the ruse that the odds were high that someone would not return alive. There had been no choice. The ruse had allowed him to focus the general on what was happening with the SEAL team, had pulled the general’s men from watching Ryan, watching Kelly, to instead watching the training and deployment of the SEAL team. He’d been able to get Ryan safely away.
The men were back watching him today. Charles had seen the car pass his, but at least Ryan was now far from here. The men shadowing him couldn’t watch Ryan in the wilderness and also watch him.
The plan was working. Ryan was safe. He’d bought Kelly a few more days of safety. The device was being delivered. For the next few days he simply had to stall everyone.
Once the device was in the general’s hands and the setup clock for making it active began to tick, he would deliver the medallion to Joe with the warning that Kelly was at risk and also pass along what information he could in the message describing the general’s location. He would then run with his son as fast and as far as he could before the general realized he had been betrayed.
Charles still had the activation codes in his possession, and although he had thought about corrupting them or stalling on sending them, it wasn’t worth the risk. He’d pass on the codes as agreed upon. The skirmish at the island had certainly been a good move. The general had actually tried a joke during the last phone call.
The activation codes weren’t absolutely needed anyway, so it wouldn’t be worth the danger to withhold them. The codes allowed the software in the weapon to be modified directly without going through layers of security. The codes changed daily. Charles had the master key, but on the day the assembly was complete he’d have to put in a request to a contact in Russia and get that day’s permutation to pass on to the general.
The fifteen-digit activation code would allow the men working on the weapon to connect and take full control of the device source code. From that point they would have to modify its targeting and firing algorithms. Charles was guessing even the most brilliant men couldn’t reverse engineer that part of the software in less than three days. That would give the SEALs time to move in.
By then he hoped to be with his son on a private island in the Caribbean owned by an old friend.
The plan time line worked, but it still left Kelly in a lot more risk than he was comfortable with. He couldn’t afford to warn Joe too early, but if he left it too late . . . Charles sighed as he turned over the medallion Nick had worn. The eagle was farsighted and flying free. He needed to get Kelly away from here. Just as he had seen in the circumstances a way to get Ryan away from the trouble for a few days, he had to figure out a way to get Kelly somewhere else as well.
He put the medallion away, considered moving it to his private safe, but instead put it back in the memory drawer with the picture and diary of his wife. It was something precious to
Kelly, and he would keep it safe. He would make sure she got it back. He folded the draft of the note and returned it to the safe along with the folder of activation codes and the last details on the money transfers. Everything else regarding this deal had been shredded.
He was going to have to steer Kelly as he had the SEALs with a mix of truth and fiction that would at least keep her safe. He didn’t want to do it. What Kelly thought of him really mattered. He didn’t want to see that distrust enter her eyes, that wounded look as she realized the truth.
He was crazy to assume he could keep the reality of the role he had played in her husband’s death buried forever. He wished he could. Kelly liked him. She had no idea how much balm was in that quiet fact. She liked him. He hadn’t liked himself for so many years that it was a comfort to have her look at him and still see something admirable.
He’d keep her safe. He owed her that at all costs. Enough innocent people had paid a price for his actions. No more. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened.
Twenty-Nine
* * *
“Slide your hand to the right and you’ll find a crevice you can grip,” Joe instructed Ryan, bracing his feet and pulling the rope around the back of his waist to keep it taut between them.
Ryan reached out where Joe directed and slipped his fingers in. The boy was improving with each climb. This was their second attempt to scale this particular rock face, and it looked like Ryan would make it this time. “That’s the way. Good. Shift your weight in closer to the face of the rock. Work with what it gives you.”
Joe was glad he had come out to join the wilderness camp. He was able to offer another expert hand at rock climbing and map reading. The boys had kept him busy, but for the first time Joe also found himself able to decompress and unwind. He liked to teach, always had, and the boys were motivated to learn.
Ryan was a good kid. It was the longest stretch of time Joe had been able to spend with him and he liked what he found. The boy was smart and had that hard-to-teach quality of being a cautious thinker while also having an innate confidence that he could do whatever was before him. Rock climbing was the latest challenge.
The twenty-four-hour adventure alone with their Bibles, sleeping bags, maps, and compasses would begin this afternoon. Joe planned to silently move between them during the night, make sure none managed to get lost. He found himself wishing Kelly were here. She would have enjoyed this.
“What’s wrong with Kelly? She looked sad when she took me to the church Tuesday.”
Ryan’s question startled Joe. Tuesday seemed like a lifetime ago. It was before he had given Kelly another reason to be sad. “She lost Nick’s eagle.”
The boy nearly fell. “The medallion?”
“Yes. It’s important to her and we can’t find it.”
Joe thought Ryan would change the subject as he climbed several more feet without saying anything, but he eventually asked, “Does she have any idea what happened to it?”
“I may have accidentally thrown it into the trash.”
Ryan risked a look down. “You? No way.”
“We all make mistakes.” And he had managed to make a couple glaring ones in the last week.
“She wore that medallion everywhere.”
“Yes, she did.”
Ryan slipped and Joe instinctively moved his arm down and out to set the rope. Ryan dangled in the air. “Want me to lower you down?”
The teen shook his head. “I’m getting to the top of this rock. Hold on; I’m swinging back in to try again.” The teen swung his legs and pushed off the rock once, then used his momentum to come back and grab hold the next time he got near the rock face.
“Good job.”
“SEALs finish what they start. Including wannabe SEALs,” Ryan replied, finding his footing again. “What did I do wrong?”
“Reached out too far. Keep your hands in close so your body mass can help you.”
If he hadn’t been such a jerk, someday he could have been doing this with his own son. The reality of what he had given up was huge. Joe was enjoying this, passing on what he knew, sharing his passion. Ryan was serious about someday trying for the SEALs, and Joe thought he might actually have what it takes. The teen had a growing, strong faith, courage, and the right desire to excel. He was soaking in the basics, including the core one: never quit.
Ryan reached the top and gave a triumphant laugh. “Joe, can I rappel down?”
He smiled, knowing it was the reason Ryan loved to climb. “Sure. Come on down.”
* * *
“Kelly, you can wear the blue dress, we won’t stay long, and I guarantee you will have a good time. Come on, say yes.”
Somehow Charles had found out she and Joe had broken up, and Kelly would love to know who had told him. He was being charmingly persistent in seeing that she didn’t have a reason to mope around on a Friday night. An art gallery showing—not a normal event for her, but it did sound interesting.
Would Joe even care if he knew?
She coiled the telephone cord around her finger. She would enjoy the time with Charles, but it didn’t seem right. She wasn’t going to be great company tonight. But her option was to stay home, and that was an even worse option. “Yes, and thanks for asking.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven. We’ll eat afterward.”
She would be scrambling to make it in time, but she could do it. “I’ll be ready.”
She hung up the phone and lightly traced a finger over it. She was going to take the people in her life as they came to her, on their terms. No more projecting what she wanted in life onto those around her. Charles was a friend, and tonight she could use one. Tonight she could really use a friend.
Charles picked her up right on time. Kelly couldn’t help but remember the excitement she had felt only a short time ago when it had been Joe coming to pick her up.
The art gallery showing was by invitation only. It was obvious at a glance that this was not her normal crowd, but for an evening Kelly decided she could pretend she fit in. It was a little like being Cinderella for a night.
“Let’s wander,” Charles suggested.
Kelly slipped her hand under his arm, content to take his advice. “Let’s.”
An hour later Kelly was confident Charles was more interested in her impression of the art than he was in studying it. She also knew from his occasional comments that she had good taste. They circled through the second-floor galleries. “I like this one.”
Charles studied the painting. “Do you? Why?”
“The painter understood solitude.”
“Solitude? The lady looks lonely.”
“She has her memories.”
Charles looked at the painting, then back at her. “Would you like it?”
She laughed. It wasn’t the first time he had asked her that question tonight. “The only thing you are buying me tonight is one of those hot pretzels you told me about from the shop around the corner.”
“Come on, we can have dinner first.”
He took her to a small restaurant near the gallery and told her stories about the Orient, London, Paris, and Rome. He made a life spent traveling come alive. When he suggested his home for coffee, Kelly was comfortable enough to want to go.
His home was a surprise. Not just the baseball glove dropped on the stairs or the stack of library books on the side table, but the trophies on the fireplace mantel and the snapshots on the tables. It looked like a lived-in, comfortable home. A wealthy man’s home. The wall of windows overlooking the crashing surf below made Kelly appreciate why Charles had chosen this house.
“You have a beautiful home. And quite an art gallery of your own.” Kelly paused by a painting in the living room, a small work of flowers. “This is exquisite.”
“Your taste is excellent.” He handed her the coffee. “Wander around; I’m curious what you think.”
“Do you collect intentionally or because something strikes you at the moment?”
&
nbsp; “I’m choosy, but more because I have limited room to display pieces than lack of those which capture my interest.”
Kelly wandered through the room, absorbing the breadth of what he had acquired over the years. “I have to admit, it would be a hard choice between the horses and the flowers as to which is my favorite.” When she finally settled on the sofa, she smiled across at him. “Thank you. I can’t remember the last time I had a night of art. It has been a pleasure.”
Charles unwrapped a piece of hard candy. “That painting you were admiring? The flowers? I stole it when I was nineteen.”
The hurt in her expression he had expected, but it still hit him hard. “You see me as a rich man you’re not quite sure how to deal with. I don’t see myself the same way. I was a thief when my wife met me.” He tried to put some perspective on it as he tried to put it in the past. “A charming thief, but still a thief. She knew and she still thought I could be reformed.”
She said nothing for such a long time. Her animation had ended. “You told me you grew up poor.”
“Trying to excuse my behavior? Thank you, but it’s okay. Being a thief is like being a reformed alcoholic, Kelly. You’re a reformed thief, but still a thief.”
“Why are you telling me this? Why tonight?”
“Because I would rather have you know me for some of who I really am than feel a distance over what I have and what that allows me to do.”
“I still like you, Charles. I understand having to redeem a past.”
He gestured around him. “You’ll get used to all the stuff, Kelly. It’s just stuff.”
True Devotion Page 24