Innocent

by Cathy Glass

  ‘Because sometimes their social worker – yours is Tess – feels it’s best.’ I wasn’t going to malign Aneta – she was their mother. ‘Their foster carer is sad they are going, but she knows they will be fine.’

  I glanced at them in the rear-view mirror. I didn’t expect Kit to understand, but Molly was looking thoughtful. ‘It’s possible that could happen to you and Kit,’ I said. ‘If it does, we will have to say goodbye. It will feel strange to begin with in your new home, but you’ll soon settle in and be happy as you have been with me.’ I swallowed hard.

  Molly didn’t comment but asked for the children’s songs. I left further talk about them leaving for now and fed in the CD. I’d planted the idea, so it would have time to grow and I’d return to the matter tomorrow when I had a definite time for them leaving and knew where they were going. It was going to be painful, but I’d have to stay positive for their sakes.

  I told Lucy, Paula and Adrian what had happened one at a time as they arrived home, out of earshot of Molly and Kit, who’d suddenly become very clingy. Lucy was home first, having worked an early shift at the nursery. She was angry and, remembering some of her own negative experiences of being in care, said, ‘Bloody social worker! She should know better!’

  ‘I can see why Tess made the decision,’ I said.

  Paula was upset and her eyes filled. ‘That’s so sad,’ she said. ‘I’m going to miss Molly and Kit a lot. I was hoping they’d be here for Christmas. Will we be able to see them?’

  ‘I’m not sure, but I’ll ask Tess.’

  When Adrian came home and I told him, he said, ‘Is there nothing we can do? Accusing us of harming Molly and Kit is slanderous.’

  ‘I know, but it doesn’t work like that in fostering, does it?’

  ‘I guess not, but it should. If I said things like that about a work colleague, I’d be answerable for them.’

  And there lay a truth. A different set of rules seemed to apply in fostering so that allegations like this – and worse – could be made with impunity and the foster carer had no redress.

  I decided not to tell my mother the children were having to move until after they’d gone, as all she could do was worry.

  It’s always sad when children you’ve looked after and grown close to leave, but usually there is some consolation as they are able to return home or go to live with a loving relative or adoptive parents. Now we didn’t have those comforts. Molly and Kit were being moved because of Aneta’s vicious allegations. I wondered what would happen if she made up things against the next carers. Would Tess move the children again? It does happen, and is dreadfully unsettling for the children. There is a saying that children are like plants and don’t thrive if moved. It’s true. Yet Aneta couldn’t see that. Angry, she was thinking only of herself.

  That evening, while I took Kit up for his bath, both Lucy and Paula stayed downstairs, playing with Molly and reading her stories. Usually they took it in turns, but this evening they both wanted to make the most of their last hours with her. Adrian said a prolonged goodnight to Kit and Molly before going to his room to do some work. He and the girls would say goodbye to the children in the morning before they left for work and college, as they would have gone by the time they returned.

  Kit wouldn’t settle in his cot and eventually I went to the top of the stairs and called down to the girls to bring Molly up to bed, as it was getting late. She heard Kit and wanted to come into my room to see him. He was still awake so with the light on low they all came in. Molly came to his cot and stood beside me as Lucy and Paula watched. Kit was sitting up, his face against the slats of the cot. Molly reached in and took his hand. ‘It’s going to be OK,’ she soothed in a manner similar to mine. ‘I’ll be with you. Don’t worry, little brother.’ It was touching and my eyes filled. I guessed she was referring to the possibility of them moving and had instinctively recognized that this was why Kit wasn’t settling. ‘You have to go to sleep now,’ she said, as I did sometimes.

  ‘Yes,’ he said cutely, and obligingly lay down.

  I smiled at Lucy and Paula. Molly stayed by the cot, holding Kit’s hand and talking to him gently. I would have to make the new carers aware that there had been issues about Molly hurting Kit, and what Aneta had claimed. Although I’d also make it clear that I’d only seen some sibling rivalry and the instances of those were decreasing. After a few minutes I told Molly to say goodnight to Kit, as it was her bedtime.

  ‘Night, night, little Kit,’ she said lovingly and, kissing his hand, came away.

  ‘Good girl,’ I said. After that, Kit settled.

  Lucy, Paula and I got Molly ready for bed and took her to her bedroom. She loved all the attention, not realizing it was because this would be the last time we’d be putting her to bed. Tomorrow night she’d be in a strange house with new carers. We hugged and kissed her and said we’d see her in the morning. ‘Sleep tight,’ I said, giving her one last kiss. I felt my eyes fill again.

  We came out and Paula and Lucy went to their rooms, while I went downstairs where I set about gathering together the children’s toys. I packed most of them but left some in the living room for Molly and Kit to play with the following morning before Tess arrived. I assumed she would be moving them in the morning so they had the rest of the day to get used to their new home before bedtime. If children are moved it’s usually done in the morning while they are fresh.

  Kit was restless during the night and I had to settle him a number of times, then at around 3 a.m. Molly appeared at my bedroom door, giving me a shock. She hadn’t done that since she’d first arrived. I took her back to bed and stayed with her until she was asleep again. In a way I was pleased she’d woken, as I felt I was being given extra time with her – the two of us together in the small light coming from the hall, as the rest of the house slept on.

  The following morning everyone was subdued as we showered and dressed, and Adrian, Lucy and Paula prepared to say goodbye before they left. I asked them to keep their goodbyes short so that Molly and Kit wouldn’t become upset. I still had to tell them they’d be going, which I would do when I was given a time for their move.

  ‘Goodbye, little people,’ Adrian said in the hall, and lifted them both up as Filip did. ‘Be good and don’t forget to text.’

  Molly grinned. ‘I haven’t got a phone!’

  ‘I’m sure you will have before long,’ he joked.

  ‘Yes,’ Kit agreed, and we laughed.

  Adrian set them down, kissed the tops of their heads and left.

  Lucy had to leave next and she hugged Molly and Kit in turn. ‘Love you loads,’ she said, her voice unsteady.

  ‘Love you,’ Molly returned.

  ‘Love-u,’ Kit repeated as best he could and pursed his lips ready for a kiss. I could have cried. I saw Lucy tear up too.

  When it was time for Paula to leave, both children were having breakfast. She kissed Kit goodbye first. ‘You’re a good boy, eating like that.’

  ‘Yes,’ he said in his cute way.

  ‘Am I a good girl?’ Molly asked.

  ‘Of course.’ Paula went round to where Molly was sitting and hugged and kissed her goodbye. ‘I’ll miss you both,’ she said, her voice full of emotion.

  ‘I’ll miss you,’ Molly said, while not appreciating they were going today.

  Paula left very quickly, her eyes glistening, as mine were again.

  After breakfast, I took Molly and Kit upstairs to brush their teeth. While we were in the bathroom Molly said, ‘We’re not sick any more.’

  ‘No. You’re not.’

  ‘Why?’ she asked.

  ‘Why?’ Kit repeated.

  ‘Because I think I’ve found out what was causing you to be sick and you don’t have it any more.’

  ‘I’m happy I’m not sick,’ Molly said, giving a little jump for joy.

  ‘So am I,’ I said.

>   ‘Will you tell Mummy?’ she asked innocently.

  ‘She knows,’ I said.

  Once we’d finished in the bathroom, I took the children downstairs and into the living room where I’d left out some of their toys. It was now 9.30 a.m. and I was expecting to hear from Edith or Tess at any moment. Once I had a definite time for them leaving, I’d explain what was happening to Molly and Kit and also enlist their help in packing the rest of their belongings so they were occupied. I hadn’t had a chance to buy them a leaving gift as I normally did when children left us, so I’d put some money in a ‘Good Luck’ card, which I’d ask Tess to pass on to the carers to buy something for them. I put it with the information sheet I’d written for the new carers about the children’s routine, likes and dislikes. It’s usual for foster carers to do this, as it helps the children to settle.

  The morning ticked by without any news and the waiting was agony. At 11 a.m. I made the children a snack, and after they’d finished I set out some activities on the table. Sammy came to investigate; indeed, it seemed he’d come to say goodbye as he put his front paw up on their chairs and meowed loudly. Kit tried to feed him some Play-Doh and Molly told him off. At noon when I still hadn’t heard anything I telephoned Tess, moving away from the children and using the handset in the kitchen to make the call. It went through to voicemail, so I left a message asking if she knew yet what time she’d be arriving. I then telephoned Edith and asked her.

  ‘Hasn’t Tess been in touch?’ she asked.

  ‘No.’

  ‘I’ll see if I can find her. I saw her earlier, so she’s definitely in.’ Their office was open-plan, so they could see each other come and go.

  An hour passed with no news from Tess or Edith and I gave the children lunch. Thank goodness I hadn’t told them for certain they were leaving, I thought. They’d have had all this time to worry and fret as I had been doing. At two o’clock I phoned Edith again and she said Tess was in a meeting and she’d speak to her as soon as she was free.

  ‘I’ve been waiting in all day,’ I said, not bothering to hide my frustration. ‘If I’d known it was going to be late afternoon I would have taken the children out this morning. I hope it’s not going to be much later. They’ll be tired.’

  ‘I’ll speak to Tess when she’s free,’ Edith said.

  Not only was it unsettling, it was also highly unusual for the move to be left so late. At three o’clock when the phone rang again I snatched it up. It was Edith.

  ‘I’ve spoken to Tess. She’s only just come out of her meeting. She said to tell you that the children will be staying with you for another night and she’ll speak to you tomorrow.’

  ‘Really? Why?’ I asked, taking the phone out of the room so Molly and Kit couldn’t hear. ‘Can’t the new carers have them?’

  ‘It’s not that,’ Edith said. ‘They’re still on standby to have them, but it won’t be today. I understand it’s to do with Filip. He’s been in a meeting with Tess today, but I don’t know the details.’

  ‘Filip told me yesterday he was going to see Tess today, but he didn’t give a reason.’ It all seemed very strange, but I had to accept this, unnerving though it was.

  ‘I’ll phone you if I hear any more,’ Edith said.

  I returned to the children, who were still playing in the living room. ‘You’re both playing very nicely,’ I said. ‘Well done.’

  I perched on the sofa and messaged our Glass WhatsApp group so Adrian, Lucy and Paula would all receive the same message.

  Molly and Kit staying another night. See you later. Love Mum.

  I put my phone in my handbag and asked the children if they’d like to go to the park. Having been in all day, I felt the need for some fresh air and exercise.

  ‘Yes!’ Molly cried, jumping up and down. ‘Can we feed the ducks?’

  ‘Yes. Ducks!’ Kit repeated, jumping up and down beside Molly.

  ‘Molly, you know where the duck food is, can you be a big girl and fetch it, please, while I change Kit?’

  Twenty minutes later the three of us were in our winter coats and shoes and going up the road to our local park. Kit was in the stroller and Molly was walking beside me, proudly carrying the bag of duck food pellets. It was invigorating to be outside in the fresh air, with a much-needed change of scenery, after being cooped up indoors all day. As we walked my mobile bleeped with an incoming text message. I took it from my bag. It was Lucy replying to my WhatsApp message: WTF!

  For those who don’t know what that means, I won’t translate. Suffice it to say, Lucy was shocked. It was virtually unheard of to arrange to move a child and then, without any reason, suddenly decide to leave them for another night, especially when allegations had been made against the carer.

  Paula’s response came a minute later and was less explicit, but she was just as surprised and puzzled: Good.

  Then Adrian’s text came as we entered the park: Why?

  No idea, I replied. I hope someone will tell us tomorrow.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Shocking

  Shortly after we arrived home from the park that afternoon, Molly began searching for the toys I’d packed away, so I got them out again. I’d have to repack in the morning once I knew what time Molly and Kit were leaving. Tomorrow was Wednesday and normally they had contact 3–5 p.m. I wondered if Tess had remembered, as she’d have to work the move around it. The children played as I prepared dinner and then as Paula, Lucy and Adrian returned home they ran to the door to greet them. Tonight, there were extra hugs all round. I told my family one at a time as they came in that I didn’t know any more as to why the move hadn’t taken place today. We obviously didn’t discuss it in front of the children.

  We all ate dinner together, then Adrian went out to see Kirsty while the girls helped me put Kit and Molly to bed. Once the children were asleep, Paula, Lucy and I talked a little about Tess’s decision to leave the children with us another night and agreed it didn’t make sense, especially as the other carers were still free to take them.

  ‘They always moved me quickly,’ Lucy said ruefully. ‘Sometimes without any notice at all!’ She’d had a very unsettled early life, both in and out of care, when she’d been passed around various relatives and had had to change foster carers before finally coming to live with me. She’d done very well to overcome her past and be able to move on with her life. I was proud of her, as of course I was of Adrian and Paula.

  None of us could come up with a plausible explanation for Molly and Kit staying another night and the girls asked me to text them tomorrow as soon as I heard anything. During the evening and later when I tried to go to sleep, my thoughts kept returning to what might have happened. I imagined all sorts of scenarios, none of which made sense.

  The children slept well, and the following morning Adrian, Paula and Lucy said goodbye to them again as if it would be the last time they’d see them, which I assumed it would be. I was anxious from the moment I got up, and watched the clock, waiting for 9 a.m. when the social services’ offices would open. I’d decided that if I hadn’t heard from Edith or Tess by ten o’clock I’d phone them to find out what the arrangements were for today and make sure Tess had remembered there was contact in the afternoon.

  At 9.30 the house phone rang and I was relieved to hear Tess’s voice. ‘Sorry I couldn’t get back to you yesterday,’ she said. ‘I ran out of time. Filip came to see me with some new information. I’ve discussed it with my manager and we’re going to leave Molly and Kit with you until the end of the week, then we’ll make a decision. I will have the lab results back by then.’

  ‘I see,’ I said slowly, trying to work this out. ‘The results from the food and drink from contact?’

  ‘Yes, and something Filip brought in yesterday. I can’t say any more at present until we’re certain. I’ll phone you as soon as I have any more information. Sorry, I know it must be unsettling. How
are Molly and Kit?’

  ‘All right,’ I said. ‘I didn’t tell them they were moving, I just touched on the subject. I started packing on Monday when I thought they were going.’

  ‘Leave it for now. We’ll make a decision on Friday. Thank you for your understanding.’

  ‘Is contact going ahead this afternoon?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes, three till five as usual.’

  We said goodbye and I replaced the handset, even more perplexed. The urgency to remove the children seemed to have vanished now. Based on what? Filip’s meeting with Tess? I had no idea. I WhatsApped the Glass group again to let them know Molly and Kit would be staying with us until the end of the week but that I didn’t know any more. I then cleared up the breakfast things and, only partially reassured, played with the children.

  Mid-morning, Edith telephoned and she told me what I already knew. ‘Tess is leaving the children with you for now. I’ve informed the other carers.’

  ‘Yes, she phoned me. Do you know why?’

  ‘She’s waiting for some test results in respect of food contamination.’ Which was more or less what Tess had said.

  ‘Are you still coming to see me on Friday morning?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes.’

  We said goodbye and, none the wiser, I returned to play with the children. As we had contact I didn’t take Molly and Kit out, it would have been too much of a rush, so I arranged various activities indoors. I made us lunch around 12.30 and then got them ready for contact.

  ‘Will Mummy and Daddy be there?’ Molly asked as I drove.

  ‘I think so.’

  ‘I hope Daddy is the horse.’

  I hoped so too, as Aneta’s attempt hadn’t ended well.

  We arrived at the centre our usual five minutes early. I parked the car and helped the children from their seats. As I pressed the buzzer for us to be admitted, another family came out. The notice about not bringing food and drink in was still in place, now looking a bit dog-eared around the edges. I signed the Visitors’ Book and the receptionist said that Molly and Kit’s contact this afternoon was taking place in Yellow Room as Blue Room, one of the larger of the rooms, was needed for another family. This was reasonable, although I knew that Molly and Kit might find it a little unsettling. Children in care have so many changes that something relatively small like a change of contact room can make them anxious. ‘Are both parents here?’ I asked the receptionist.