Breathe, Annie, Breathe
Page 23
“That was nice,” he murmurs when we break apart. “What was that for?”
“I thought you were dying!” I desperately pat his chest and legs and face. All intact. When I grab his shoulders, he cringes and yelps in pain. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Annie. Why would you think I’m dying?”
“I heard you fell off a bridge.”
“A footbridge,” he says with a laugh. “Some asshole cut me off during the race and I fell into a creek. I think I dislocated my shoulder.”
I press my forehead to his as tears continue to fall down my face. Happy tears. My body sags against his. My hands shake. I process what he said.
A footbridge? Considering all his crazy BASE jumping stunts and motocross and bungee jumping, it never occurred to me he could get hurt during a regular race. A race that I just ran myself. Anything can happen. Anything. Anytime, to anyone. We have to live now. Now, now, now.
“I love you,” I blurt, and a rush of white-hot heat fills me.
His blue eyes light up. “I love you too.”
And I love this moment. Love it. Laughing, we start kissing again. I get into it and accidentally jostle his shoulder, making him yelp for a second time.
“That’s it,” says the nurse. “It’s time for your X-rays. Now put that gown on.”
“I don’t need a gown! You’re X-raying my shoulder, not my butt.”
“Jeremiah Brown,” I say. “Put that gown on right now.”
“No.”
“Right. Now.”
“Fine,” he grumbles, untying the drawstring on his shorts one-handed.
“I like her,” says a voice from the hall.
“Daaaad,” Jeremiah whines. I can hear Matt laughing.
“I’ll be in the waiting room, okay?” I say, and Jeremiah grabs my half-marathon medal and pulls me close for another kiss.
“I love you.”
I laugh. “You already said that.”
“I’ve never said it before. I like it…I think I’ll keep saying it.”
We grin at each other, and relief flows through my body until the door slams open, startling me. I jump. Mrs. Brown appears, her short brown hair disheveled, her face streaked red with tears. Clearly she also got the message that Jeremiah fell off a bridge. Why did no one bother to clarify what kind of bridge it was?
She rushes forward and hugs her son hard. “Thank goodness you’re all right,” Mrs. Brown says, and the nurse tsk tsks. She’s probably never seen such commotion over a dislocated shoulder.
“I wish you’d stop racing,” she says with a trembling voice.
Over her shoulder, Jeremiah rolls his eyes at me. “It was a regular half marathon, Mom.”
“I can’t stand this,” she says, releasing him from the hug. “Every time I answer the phone, I worry someone is calling to tell me you’re hurt…or worse. I got six calls from the hospital last year. I don’t want to pick you up from the hospital anymore, son—”
“It could’ve happened to anybody,” I interrupt. His mom meets my gaze, and I want to dare her to say something else to me, a person who’s suffered a huge loss. “Jeremiah was doing the safest race ever. He just got the short end of the stick on this one.”
“But he has the worst luck when it comes to sports. Why can’t he just join a Bible Study?”
Jeremiah looks completely appalled by that idea, and that makes me laugh. I can’t deny he takes risks, but I’m not going to swaddle him in bubble wrap to keep him safe.
“Please stop doing this to me,” she says, and I can see in her glistening eyes how much she loves him. “Please.”
“Mom,” Jeremiah starts, “it’s not fair to make me decide between my family and doing something I love. You know I’ve cut back. I can’t truly feel anything unless I put myself out there.”
“Agreed,” I say with a smile. He gives me a grateful look.
“It sucks that I’m trying to make you happy so you’ll let me come around the house and see my sisters…and you haven’t noticed that at all. I’ve given up a lot.”
His mom ruffles his hair and shuts her eyes. “I appreciate that you’re taking better care of yourself. I don’t like the things you do…” She pauses to glance over at me. “We can talk about this more later.”
He grins. “I’m definitely willing to talk. We can discuss how I want to go skydiving again.”
“Young man, that is not the kind of discussion I was thinking of.”
“But PopPop got me another gift certificate!”
Matt and his father enter the room to join the argument about whether Jeremiah can go skydiving again, but I just hold his hand, thinking about what he said.
If you don’t put yourself out there, if you don’t take risks, you can’t truly feel.
And I’m ready to feel again.
•••
“So we’re gonna try this?”
“Yeah, let’s see where it goes,” I reply.
“Thank the Lord,” he says with a smile, sweetly kissing my cheek. I turn to catch his mouth with mine, grasping his T-shirt in my hands, careful to mind his sling.
The morning after my first official half marathon, we’re lounging in my bed, discussing a relationship. Vanessa is visiting Rory in Knoxville, so Jeremiah slept over and we had the room to ourselves. I took care of him all night, giving him his painkillers and icing his shoulder. He liked having his own personal nurse. And I liked kissing him constantly. I couldn’t keep my lips off him.
Speaking of. I cozy up and slip a hand under his T-shirt, touching his rock-hard stomach. His pretty blue eyes light up and I know I love this guy. I press my lips to his, kissing him deeply, then trail kisses down his neck and lower. Soon he stealthily steals my pajama bottoms, which takes skill considering he only has one arm right now. I steal his shorts in retaliation, leaving him in black boxer briefs. Then he pulls me on top with his good arm, throws my tank top on the floor, and gently dips his hand into my pink panties. And wow it feels great.
I look into his eyes and catch him grimacing.
“Does your shoulder hurt?”
“Like hell. But I don’t care right now.”
He moans as I slip my hand inside his boxer briefs, moving my hand up and down until he wants me back on top. I love feeling him pressed up against my body, and I sort of hate that we’re separated by underwear as we take care of each other’s needs. I rock against his hips until I’m seeing spots, pressing my forehead to his when tingles fill both our bodies.
“Yeah, a relationship sounds just fine,” I say, working to catch my breath.
“I reckon this means I finally get to take you on a real date, huh?” he responds with a lazy smile.
“You’d better.”
“How about tonight?”
“Can’t. Kelsey and I are grabbing dinner at the dining hall and then seeing that new Brad Pitt–Angelina Jolie movie where they’re cyborgs trying to kill each other. It’s girls’ night.”
He grins at that. “How about roller blading this afternoon, then?”
“We are not going roller blading with that shoulder a mess like it is.”
He laughs, tangling his feet with mine. “Just kidding.”
I drag my fingertip up and down the surgical scar on his arm and bury my face in the warm hollow of his neck. “You’re gonna take it easy for a while, right?”
“I can’t move my arm. I don’t think I have a choice but to relax.”
“Until you find some new crazy stunt to try next week, you mean,” I say with a laugh.
“I’m not doing any more stunts.”
I can’t control what might happen. All I can do is live. “I don’t want you to give up what you love for me.”
“That’s not it.” He shakes his head. “Don’t you understand how you make me feel?”
&nbs
p; “You told me you love me—”
“I’m going to show you how much you make me feel. You’re gonna feel it yourself.”
“How?”
“Do you trust me?”
•••
My body is shaking, my nerves crackling. Sweat pours down my face. I feel like I’m on a beach in a storm and lightning might strike any second.
“Next!” a worker says, and I step forward. Cords and clips dangle off the harness tightly strapped around my body.
I can do this. I can do this.
The zip line employee helps me up onto the wooden platform attached to a tree. I look down into the vast canyon below me filled with pointy rocks and trees.
“I can’t do this.”
“Getting up here is the worst part,” the worker replies. “It’s perfectly safe, I promise.”
I believe him. Regardless that he’s willing to take big risks, Jeremiah would never put me in danger. I let out a deep breath. The worker hooks me to a trolley, tells me to sit down in my harness, and pushes me off the platform.
Wait. He pushed me off the platform!
I scream, holding on to my rope tight. Wind smacks my face. I soar over the canyon. Fear ices my body and my heart leaps to light speed.
“Slow down, slow down!” the guy waiting on the other platform yells. I press the lower line, and I jerk to a stop right in front of the tree trunk.
“Holy shit,” I blurt as the guy reaches out and pulls me from the air onto the platform.
“You did good,” the worker says with a bright grin, hooking my rope to the tree so I don’t fall into the canyon I just crossed. I gasp when I look down. “We’re over three hundred feet high and the line you just zipped is three hundred and fifty feet long. It’s our most challenging obstacle.”
“Why in the world would you make us do the hardest line first?”
“It’s all easy peasy from here on out.” The worker fist-bumps me.
I zip three more lines, each one leaving me shakier than the last. I like the feeling of stress bleeding away when I’m back on solid ground. Not sure I could do this on a daily basis, though.
After the final line, I trudge up the hill to a smiling Jeremiah. I’m at a total loss for words, overwhelmed by the experience I just had—placing all my trust in some ropes and people I don’t know. We stand in silence as he helps me remove my gear. With his good arm, he unsnaps my harness, letting it fall to the deck. Careful to mind his sling, I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him until my heart begins to slow. He massages warm circles onto my lower back.
“Well?” he finally asks.
“That was nuts.” I touch fingers to my neck to feel my out-of-control pulse.
“Did you feel the adrenaline?” he asks.
I nod. Right now I could lift a car if I had to. “I can see why you’re into it.”
He unsnaps my helmet, then looks at me with mischievous glittering eyes. His lips meet mine, and he slips his good hand behind my neck. “I never knew what an adrenaline rush really was until we met. When I first saw you? That was the day all my running finally paid off—because you were on the trails. You make me feel three times the rush of skydiving or bungee jumping…I felt the biggest rush of my life when you said you love me.”
I hop up on tiptoes, bury my hands in his crazy hair, and capture his lips with mine. My stomach leaps into my throat.
When we finally stop kissing each other, he holds me close. “So how about some lunch?”
I draw tiny circles on his chest with my fingertips. “Vanessa is still in Knoxville visiting her boyfriend…how about we go back to my room?”
His eyebrows pop up when he realizes what I’m offering. “You’re sure?”
I answer with a kiss that leaves us both breathless.
Marathon Training Schedule~Brown’s Race Co.
Name Annie Winters
Saturday
Distance
Notes
April 20
3 miles
I’m really doing this! Finish time 34:00
April 27
5 miles
Stupid Running Backwords Boy!!
May 4
6 miles
Blister from HELL
May 11
5 miles
Ran downtown Nashville
May 18
7 miles
Tripped on rock. Fell on my butt
May 25
8 miles
Came in 5 min. quicker than usual!
June 1
10 miles
Let’s just pretend this day never happened…
June 8
9 miles
Evil suicide sprint things. Ran w/ Liza. Got sick.
June 15
7 miles
Skipped Saturday’s run…had to make it up Sunday.
June 22
8 miles
Stomach hurt again. Matt said eat granola instead of oatmeal.
June 29
9 miles
Matt says it’s time for new tennis shoes.
July 6
10 miles
Jere got hurt.
July 13
12 miles
Finished in 2:14! Only had to use bathroom once
July 20
13 miles
Halfway there!
July 27
15 miles
Humidity just about finished me off. Time 3:06.
August 3
14 miles
Hurt knee. Overdosed on Pepto.
August 10
11 miles
Wore new knee brace—it messes with my gait.
August 17
16 miles
Didn’t get enough sleep in dorms.
August 24
20 miles
Need lifetime supply of Pepto & ice packs. Stat!
August 31
14 miles
Ran w/ Liza & Andrew
September 7
22 miles
Holy crap! Time 4:35. I ran for 1/2 a school day!
September 14
20 miles
Knee brace is The Devil.
September 21
The Bluegrass Half Marathon
Finished in 2:26! Won a medal!
September 28
12 miles
Tapering off.
October 5
10 miles
Almost there!
October
12
Country Music Marathon in Nashville
IT’S TIME
One Day Until the Country Music Marathon
“Did Jeremiah tell you? His frat accepted Colton into the pledge class.”
“That’s great!” I say to Kelsey. She and Vanessa are driving me back to Franklin for dinner. We’re going to Joe’s All-You-Can-Eat Pasta Shack so I can carbo-load before the marathon tomorrow.
Kelsey and Colton have been dating for nearly two months, and contrary to the bathroom incident in which they weren’t wearing shirts, they’ve been taking it slow. But it doesn’t surprise me when she says they finally went all the way.
When Jeremiah and I got back to campus after zip-lining, we sprinted to my dorm. We couldn’t get there fast enough. We stumbled from the elevator to my room, tugging at each other’s clothes, nearly trampling a freshman guy, kissing the entire way. In my room, he tripped over Vanessa’s shoe, lost his balance because of his shoulder, and landed on top of me. Our heads clonked together and we groaned.
The very sweet, very unsexy memory makes me laugh to myself. “I’ve been sleeping with Jeremiah too.”
Vanessa bounces up and down in her seat. Kelsey honks the horn, squealing. I kind of want to squeal myself. I love spending time with my friends.
About five minutes out from Franklin, I whine, “I’m so hungry.”
“I swear, Annie, I can’t believe how much food you eat,” Kelsey says.
She’s right. For lunch today, I ate an entire large pizza by myself. With my training schedule, I wake up hungry and go to bed starving, no matter how much I eat.
When we get to Joe’s, I hop out of the car and jog to the entrance, preparing to order tortellini. We walk in the door, the little bell jingling, and tons of people yell, “Surprise!”
A huge banner hangs on the wall: GOOD LUCK, ANNIE!