by Ron Foster
“That causeway road is impassable now and the whole thing will be under water shore to shore within the hour it looks like. ‘Nick said estimating that the water was rising at what looked to be about a one foot every thirty minutes.
“Should we start thinking evacuate or should we start climbing trees do you think?” Zack said a bit panicky.
“Slow down Zack, I have been living on this Island here now on twenty years and have always come out fine when it floods. The river she will scare you crazy in your thinking, but we will be ok up here on this high ground. Always a dry patch up here somewhere to wait on the water to recede.” Edna the old women resident said coming up with Dee to join the group.
“That’s good to hear, but I want you to try to please keep your wise old eyes on that water and tell us if anything looks different or highly unusual to you. That wasn’t a bad thunderstorm that just occurred!” Zack said not totally convinced they were out of the danger zone or ok yet.
“I will be watching, but I am telling you, you will be ok! Watch them goats, they feel things in nature way before us humans do.” Edna said giving some sage advice.
“We will do that!” Ann said giving her a hug as Sloan called out to Zack to get on up to the church to say his piece if that was what he had in mind.
“Damn sorry ass lot of stragglers.” Zack muttered to Ann seeing a few ladies still finally deciding to join the rest of the campers for the emergency meeting he and Sloan were calling.
“Calm down Zack, you can’t holler at them like they were your trainees or something in the Army!” Ann cautioned.
“I got you babe; I will be cool as a cucumber unless I find myself needing to light a fire under somebody’s ass for not listening to the urgency of this situation that we find ourselves in.” Zack said, just half meaning he was going to keep his barks to himself. As far as he was concerned the world was ending and by god folks were going to listen to what he had to say if they all wanted to get through this!
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3
Snake Dance
“Hey all of you all settle down for a minute, quiet down now please and stop milling about talking and listen! I know it’s been a hell of a screwed-up day and all that, but we got us some seriously pressing matters to attend to. First off, I don’t know what really has happened to us, but I know by experience what tomorrow will mean after any kind of disaster and that’s that hunger will be setting in quick as supplies get short. Most of us only come down here with a couple days’ worth of camping food packed and the use of a grocery store up the street if needed. Those of us that know all too well about people’s panic buying before and after a hurricane, know full well that the unprepared are going to be going bat shit crazy to get to the gas stations and super markets right now and guess what? Those stores ain’t got power to open their doors automatically, to keep food cold or to take credit cards at the gas pump so listen up! Time is of the essence for us to be starting now to try to go get our own supplies. Think about all of the money you got in your pockets now like it’s nothing more than an ice cube that starts melting as soon as you pull it out to spend it. In a few days it won’t be worth nothing anymore so don’t be thinking that you’re being smart or clever by holding back on this collection that we need to take up. Nick tells me that Ezra has made it to the other side of the road. So, what I want to do now is take whatever money we can get from this collection, jump on that Sea Eagle inflatable boat and haul ass over there. Then I will get him to drive me to the nearest grocery store to get what we can get before the zombie horde hits it. So, dig people, please dig deep in your wallets and contribute!!” “Zack said looking around at the shocked crowd hesitating.
“Earl you and Brent do me a favor please and lend the group your ball caps as collection plates. We need us something quick as we can to collect money in and since this little talk we are having is in front of a church, I want you folks to pretend and imagine that we are doing the congregations big annual collection for the whole community and give me everything you got. Don’t be holding back now because it is for the benefit of everyone gathered here. That dingy we got sitting over there will be leaving here just as quick as we are done raising funds and I can get it into the water.” Zack said looking uncompromisingly to the assembled crowd mumbling and grumbling at his attempts to maybe rob them in some way of all their cash.
“Give it up now! You won’t be able to spend it any place saving it for later!” Ann said as some balked trying to only donate a small portion of what they had in their pockets. “
“Come on now folks! Zack needs to be getting on the water and going quick as he can!” Sloan encouraged adding a wad of cash to the collection cap and encouraging the others to do the same.
“Hush now, settle yourselves down a bit please and listen to me some more! You all know me as just Zack or have heard of me from writing a few books. I ain’t some kind of group think danged weird socialist or nothing when it comes to talking about sharing food in a disaster. I tend to be more of a realist and if you don’t know me, or what I write about constantly by now, just remember I don’t think I need any extra advice at the moment on what I should buy food wise with this money you are going to entrust me with.. I will get back here with all the supplies I can, just and as soon as I possibly can. Now out of this collection of money you donated, keep in mind what food I manage to buy in town will be looked on as a community purchase for all of us. It doesn’t matter how much you put in the pot personally, it’s now share and share alike for all of us out of this emergency community pantry that we are trying to put together. Brent gimme a hand there brother and tie those extra ropes we got together in one long line and I will let it off behind the dingy avoiding the prop blades hopefully as a life line of sorts .I might need it if that current starts speeding up again and sweeping that light boat up river to who knows where. Hopefully that rope will hold and I got me some kind of a chance of at least maybe getting hauled back in to shore over here. Sloan, I want you to take a minute from keeping everyone in check long enough to do me a big favor and check those knots for security before I shove off. Knobby if you don’t mind, you need to tie the end of the rope securely around your waist like maybe you are getting ready to play tug of war with that raging river current and try to help anchor me. I am sorry folks, but I just ain’t got too much time at all to talk to you further anymore because time is of the essence and the stores will soon quit selling anything. Talk to Ann after I launch this dingy and she can fill you in and sort of explain what she thinks it is I am up to; Lord knows if anyone knows, she has been with me a long time and knows my preparedness mindset and survival tactics a bit.” Zack declared and then stepped off the church stairs in a rush as Sloan berated everyone loudly to do as they were asked and made a point of hiking up the back of his shirt to show off the .45 pistol, he had concealed there to a more open carry position style.
Zack went to his van to get a few things and then waited on the money that was supposed to come his way as everybody bitched and complained that they didn’t have nearly enough information for them to give up all their cash they had on them quite so readily.
Meantime Zack braced himself and made ready to be taking his chances on the capricious river to do a group emergency grocery run. He wasn’t worried at all about the rock-solid damn near unsinkable Sea Eagle inflatable boats stability, it was those log jams and pointy branch snags he had seen going by in the current when that first wave had hit, that had him worried. Hell, for that damn matter he had just found out just moments ago Earl’s jeep might still be floating around somewhere on its tires trying to possibly swamp him on his mad dash for the other shore!
“We got a little bit over $900 collected!” Dee said handing him the stack of money Earl and Brent had collected.
“Bitches! Money grubbing old miserly Scrooges!” was all he said while thinking about there was at least over fifty people out here asked to contribute and that amount of cash handed to him equaled like less than 2
0 bucks apiece so they hadn’t heeded his warnings and were foolishly holding back on their dough. Could be also most had nothing but credit cards and were used to living this cashless society thing. That was unlikely most were travelling and would have carried extra cash.
The $900 worth of food if he could get anything at all on this emergency food run, wouldn’t last these 50 some odd folks for very long. That was so wrong! All the money and treasure he suspected that they were hoarding and holding back wouldn’t be worth shit after this last-ditch grocery attempt he was attempting to go on was over.
There won’t be nothing left in the stores at all to buy shortly. Hells bells, he probably wouldn’t even get a chance to spend all that cash money he had if the stores put any kind of dollar amount rationing per person on a cart of groceries. Thinking about that fact made him decide not to berate anyone further or to maybe get them to rethink about giving more.
“You want me to go along with you babe on the boat?” Ann asked as Zack readied the craft and grabbed the safety line, the camp had contributed to and carefully pieced together to equal 200 foot or so of questionable life line insurance.
“No baby, I love you bunches but I want you to stay here and help Sloan and the rest of the group get ready for when I get back.” Zack said giving her a quick kiss before the inflatable dingy was pushed off in the swirling boiling stream of muddy red river water and he had his hands full just trying to steer himself a straight line towards the other shore.
A 34 lb. electric Water Snake trolling motor wasn’t getting it no matter how good it had done in normal river current beforehand. The turbulent river had him wishing he was back on shore and his rope tenders were struggling mightily to keep him from being swept away downstream. but somehow, he managed and made it within a 100 foot or so from his original planned-on and targeted hopeful mooring spot on the far shore.
” Are your lines all secured and safe Zack?” Nick bellowed before allowing anyone to let go of the safety line.
Zack yelled back that he was OK! And after getting out of the dingy and dragging it up a good distance on shore, he gave everyone a thumbs up before beginning to walk the bramble filled wood line back towards Ezra’s truck to see about his ride to town and start looking for what might be a possibly shutdown food store.
He worriedly poured a muddy stream of river water out of his pocket holster that had gotten filled from river being splashed into the bottom of the boat enough to drench his pants.
Then he checked out his pocket carry .380 auto pistol action and dried off the weapon on his shirt best he could while shaking his head about having to put it back in the same wet pocket.
“This is truly a damned if I do, damned if I don’t, screw me up everywhere I turn scenario!” Zack was bitching about as he walked along carrying the holster in one hand and the gun in the other, squishing wet socks in his boots angrily before becoming quite startled by seeing what was an evidently deeply disturbed and angry cotton mouth snake showing its fangs in his direction on the animal trail he had picked as a path to get to Ezra.
“Hey big boy, you want to get out of my road like a nice snake or do you need you some killing?” Zack said contemplating the deadly snake blocking his way and hissing its warnings his way loudly.
“I hate these nasty looking sons of a bitches! You ain’t getting out of the way snake? Ok for You! Screw it! I will just shoot the damn thing!!” Zack said taking an uneasy aim with the minuscule sights on his pocket rocket persuader pistol.
BANG! “Darn, frigging miss by 4 inches left! “Zack thought re-gauging his aim point right and wondering what folks might be thinking of him out here in the boonies and river rushes popping caps.
BANG! “Oh shit! Now I have shot 2 inches off the other way now”. Zack thought not liking the idea of walking up on such an aggressive snake that would rather charge at you than retreat and the fact he wasn’t’ t the better marksman he wanted to be.
He carefully moved ever so slowly closer to the venomous creature for a better shot as the damned thing started hissing louder. It opened its wide white mouth that contrasted starkly with its black body to show its wicked looking inch long curved fangs as a warning for him to back off and move away! The aggravated snake suddenly lashed out forward half its body length feinting a strike at him!
Then it recoiled itself quickly getting ready to bite at him again! HISSss! Zack knew that thing was mad and meant business. It had already showed some of the aggression their species were known for and now it’s weaving its triangular shaped head around had him worried. It could coil up and move forward where ever its head landed if it was considering slithering forward.
Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Was heard up and down the river as Zack said screw it and just emptied the pistol best, he could in its direction all at once and managed to somehow hit it in its tail and head.
“Well that sucks but glad he was done doing the dying snake dance he considered” reaching in his pocket for the extra mag that was part of his EDC (Every Day Carry). “” Now I got to go out to try the grocery store apocalypse and face the zombies with only 6 rounds of ball ammunition left and a skinny ass two and a half inch pocket knife for back up.” Zack concluded.
He had somehow in the haste of the moment managed like a greenhorn in his hurry to leave the meeting forgotten to grab a box of his spare ammunition to carry with him. Not good! Not good at all! “Better make some better decisions boy before stupidity gets you killed. Now you are on the wrong end of a river and now it seems you ain’t got much more than a will and a way to depend on now if it takes you more than a few shots to hit what you are aiming at. Zack said to himself starting to walk not so confidently up to the landing and wondering if he should have collected that damn snake, that he had used up so much ammo on for dinner. Well he definitely wasn’t Rambo or had thoughts of ever being one anymore.
They called military units like Zack and Sloan used to be in “snake eaters” for their tenacity in a fire fight or their ability to live off the land for extended periods of time in enemy territory. However, that was way over 20 years ago for him and he knew that nasty ass water snake tasted like fish from prior experience eating on one and left it alone. Yeah hurrah gung-ho Army shit was way cool in a younger man’s back in the day fun but he wasn’t young anymore or some candy ass befuddled would be survivalist with no practical experience wondering about what a poisonous snake tastes like when the poo hit the fan.
Hell, most folks these days wouldn’t even remember the serious caution and fact that if you cut off snake’s head it can still bite you the saying goes by involuntary muscle contractions till dawn. No, he was pragmatic old fart and if going on an emergency grocery run for the greater good was his last mission in life, then he wasn’t going to dink with what was supposed to be a dead snake and avoided its mangled head studiously. It was all he could do to get himself this far already, yet he was sure he would hear the gripes and bitching when he returned with maybe basically nothing but rice and beans if he was lucky enough to find any for the survivors on the island.
“EZRA! Where you at boy! Hey holler out to me! Your buddy is needing you over here!” Zack called out and then momentarily listened for a response. After trying hollering again once or twice he maneuvered his way up to the islands owners main house and saw them all discussing something intently and once again yelled hello at them.
“Damn man where in the world did you come swimming in from! “Ezra called out surprised at his apparition and proceed leaning heavily on his cane from all this getting around to try to quickly move in his direction.
“Great place for a pool party to bet at Ezra don’t you think? Did You hear me setting off fireworks in celebration of my arrival?” Zack called back as a very concerned Rachel and Donna passed Ezra while heading his way.
“What’s all the shooting and hollering about? Is that you Zack?” Bobby said joining the folks coming to greet Zack.
“Sorry! I had an unfortunate and wholly unexpected encou
nter just a few minutes ago! Mr. No Shoulders needed to have himself an attitude adjustment about sharing the trail with me and I can’t aim this little gun worth a shit it seems for any distance.” Zack said with a grin before hugging the wide-eyed ladies and shaking hands with his concerned friend closely bringing up the rear.
“I thought that you were some danged trespassing trigger-happy hunter getting stupid about shooting at a deer already!” Bobby said regarding Zacks weary looking disheveled wet self.
“No Bobby it was just me getting some impromptu target practice in. The damn river surprised everyone and rose again, sank your causeway and then tried to make me go swimming with the snakes. No time for that story now, we got to think about getting all of us to town and see what’s to be had food wise while money still spends!” Zack declared.