by Ron Foster
“But what are you proposing then? You want a few steaks and few packs of chicken or two back as some change?” Steve said.
“No, I am thinking more about you taking everything we offered but you maybe trading us another vehicle for the balance that I think you owe us.” Donna replied pushing it a bit.
“Well I already made you a hell of a deal! Could be I could offer you a bit sweeter of a deal if you offered me some green cash folding money. I don’t know what I am going to get for that extra meat and I am thinking some cold cash needs to be in my hand to do any better. Cash might buy a lot of things to profit from now that the banks are closed if someone had a bit more than usual on hand. “Steve said digging in his heals on the negotiating.
“Now you’re talking a lot better… We got a bit of cash and maybe could go back and raise some more, what are you thinking of offering to take the whole shebang on the table?” Donna asked.
“I am thinking my best offer would be somewhere around a $500 credit towards two refurbished regular carts if you paid me another $1500.00 That is about as best as I will do but you will have to take them both.” Steve replied.
“Don’t forget we need some marine batteries and some solar panels. How do you want to include that?” Dee said not willing to end up with vehicles that couldn’t be recharged.
“What do you all want Marine batteries for? Oh, yea I forgot the trolling motor boats, I could give you one stack of extra 6-volt golf cart batteries but all I got solar panel wise might be some 10- and 15-watt trickle charger panels Most folks that buy these kind of vehicles just plug them in as needed if you know what I mean. “Steve responded.
“I sign for that and you put on Bobby boss man account!” Jose said with a smile.
“You tell your boss man Bobby I love him and even voted for him in the last election but I can’t be running no tabs or extending credit until the economy looks more stable.” Steve said
“You forget he sit on bank board of directors that give you business loan to open this place. He takes your signature you take mine for his or I no think he be happy man when you miss payments due to power outage!” “Jose said
“You ain’t no escaped south American dictator or Pancho Villa’s great grandson, are you? Dang man you want to remind folks a bit much about who they owe money to. Ok you make sure you tell Bobby I did him and you a big favor but I am writing the invoice at list price! Sheeeeeeeettt! I bet I never see another nickel from this highway robbery you all are putting me through! I bet I get foreclosed on for not paying my bills just cause the banks don’t work anymore!” Steve ranted.
“That’s the least of your worries, you be eating good for a while and made yourself a good profit!” Dee said holding up the keys to the Cadillac as in turn Rachel and Donna held up theirs to start their chosen vehicles up to drive home now that the deal looked done.
“I have NEVER! And I mean never, been so hoodwinked and hogs waggled in all my born days then you three women and that Mexican man just did me! Take the vehicles, take what you want in batteries and sun chargers and get on the road now! I bet I never see you all again but here is my address if you want to come back and take me up on that deal, I offered you for two more carts. No signatures! Don’t even start that shit! I don’t care if Bobby himself comes down here to sign I am done haggling with you all!” Steve said explosively.
“I don’t know why your bitching; you got all the good butcher cut aged meat that most people will never ever see in in two counties or in a month of Sundays. I thought you were some kind of Christian man wanting to do good and I for one wanted to eat me a prime steak before these starving times start.” Donna said stiffly.
“I think you got yourself a heart of coal like the Grinch or something! OK! You can each have a steak apiece, go on and get them and get the hell off my property before Jose starts thinking of collecting next months’ rent or my loan payment. Now you got three days to make good on that $500 credit and I mean green cash! Not goats on the island, not a pinata party hosted by Jose and Pedro, GREEN CASH! Got it?” Steve said more than a bit miffed about how the trading had gone as well as speculating what he would have to face selling off some of this good meat before it spoiled.
“Well he certainly was going to win off those trades he had made and the edge of his lip curled into a grinch like smile as he happily rubbed his hands together thinking about how bad he was going to stiff the mayor in pricing some of that meat to him!” Steve thought,
.
10
Barter Town Blues
Ann listened to their story about the big trade off and agreed that they had indeed made a good deal even if it was in her opinion rather expensive. What Zack thought about it and how he would take it she would soon hear as she noticed him and Neil and Knobby coming into shore with the dingy.
“I will go head him off and tell him about my trade so he doesn’t have to hear about all at once seeing those vehicles. “Ezra said heading down to the causeway entrance with Parker.
“I will come with you. Good deal or not, I doubt he will be too happy about not having any say in the negotiations. “Ann said
“I am coming too!” Dee said tagging along wanting to help unruffle his feathers if she could.
Earl was already down there catching Zack’s boat line because he had been trying his luck fishing regardless of the threat earthquakes.
“You doing any good? “Neil said handing him his bugout bag as they unloaded the boat.
“Yea, matter of fact I got one blue catfish so far. It’s not something to write home about but it’s a good fish!” Earl said walking over to the bank and pulling his stringer line in to show off a about three and half pound catfish.
“Nice!” Zack remarked before greeting the group coming down the hill.
“Well good to have you back! Does that make everyone over here and nobody left on the island now?” Ann said.
“Yea nothing but goats over there now. They will be ok, it actual looks like it’s drying out some over there. I guess the water from those waves just naturally runs off, anyway no water in Spectre at the moment.” Zack said.
Ezra went over and chatted with Earl about the fish he had caught as Dee checked it out as he pulled what would be his and somebody else’s dinner tonight.
“How are we handling cooking tonight?’ Zack said after joking with Earl that he would be eating plenty of fish in the future and he better get in on the steaks while he could.
“We ain’t cooking any steak tonight Zack. Seems like there has been an unfortunate change in plans.” Ann said as he looked confused.
“What’s the plan now? We saving all that meat for a extra day for some reason?” Zack asked.
“No, it’s kind of all got traded off.” Ann said as conflicting emotions crossed Zack’s brow.
“Traded for what and to who? Did we end up with more canned goods? That’s ok I guess as long as it isn’t trading with Bobby for all them sardines and beanie weanies. What does he have an ice chest and a generator hid out that he is going to lord over me?” Zack asked.
“Well you might say we got more canned goods but not what you’re thinking. Bobbie’s worker helped us do the trade but I don’t put any special shares or ownerships rights we owe him for helping out.” Ann said.
“She traded your food for a limo Zack!” Ezra said.
“I did not! You did!” Ann objected.
“Well technically speaking she did.” Ezra said smiling pointing at Dee who didn’t appreciate having the conversations spotlight turned on her so quickly.
“You might saw we all did the trade. Dee asked Ezra for permission and he said ok because neither you nor I were around to ask.” Ann said.
“So, you are the one did it then Ezra! Well that don’t sound like too horribly bad of a trade if it’s full of gas. What did you do hit a funeral parlor? That’s actually kind of a cool idea seeing we got all these folks to get home that live near here.” Zack said congratulating them on coming up
with such an obscure but neat way to make a barter trade.
“Well they ae going to have to live within 15 miles of here.” Ezra said as Ann and Dee flinched at the comment.
“Ah hell Dee for all that food don’t tell me you didn’t get enough fuel to do us any good!” Zack said angrily not seeing the value in the trade at all.
“Hell, Zack you invited us over for dinner and you all don’t have anything but fish and some beans and rice.” Nick said despondently before Knobby patted a duffle bag that contained their booze and some MRE meals.
“Uh guys he didn’t invite you over to eat my fish!” Earl said with mock indignation and got a laugh.
“You all quit bullshitting for a minute so I can hear about this stupid trade that they did without consulting me. Does it run all right Ezra? Did you check it out good before they bought it?” Zack asked.
“I didn’t go with them but Dee drove it first and said it was almost brand new. They got two other vehicles too that look more than serviceable. “Ezra began before Zack cut him off.
“Are those two full of gas? Tell me they are full of gas PLEASE or did Bobby say he was going to sell us some for a decent price. That mans a tough trader, matter of fact he doesn’t trade and demands the best deal possible he can leverage out of you.” Zack asked trying to figure out what they got and exactly why he wasn’t going to be able to eat possibly the last steak he would ever see.
“They don’t use gas Zack; they are electric vehicles. They got some extra batteries though I put on your solar panels to top off the charge though.” Parker said.
“I never heard of an electric limo, we aren’t talking about kiddy cars, are we?” Zack asked.
“No, they use 6-volt golf batteries. Two batteries at a time can be given a maintenance charge from a 12-volt charger provided they are wired in series to present a 12-volt load to the charger. They also have to be in good condition and fully charged to do this. You cannot charge depleted 6-volt batteries with a 12-volt charger.’ Parker said.
‘You are going to have to explain that to me later why that is. I never heard of that before but thanks for hooking them up.” Zack said as Sloan and his wife came down to see them with Mack and his wife.
“Well I am sure getting a big turnout for my homecoming. The gangs all here!” Zack said greeting the newcomers.
“They tell you about the spiffy rides they got for all your fresh meat?” Sloan asked looking like he was ready to watch the fireworks if Zack hadn’t heard the details of that yet.
“They are just getting around to explaining to me some about that” Zack said ready to resume the conversation.
“I got a few panels made for them but they are maintenance chargers.” Dee said.
“I looked at those Zack, it would probably take days to charge them batteries back up once they go down. Maybe you can work something out with Nick about using his solar panels. We had a good time talking about his system when I told him about the first solar powered RV I had seen when I was stationed in the Middle East.” Sloan said grinning and reaching for his wallet to show a picture of it.
Yea he got me on that one pretty good!” Nick said smiling.
The world’s First Solar Powered RV
“Ha! That’s funny but you still got me thinking about eating that camel rather than solar powering my tent fan and radios.” Zack said not willing to let them off so easy for trading off all that good chow for some unseen golf carts yet.
“Hey Zack they make a lot of sense, town ain’t but 6 miles from here and they can greatly expand our hunting and fishing range.” Ezra said looking for approval of the decision he had allowed.
“Ezra you done good I guess; thanks buddy and Dee you made a good deal it seems.” Zack said ready to go see the vehicles.
“They will come in handy when we have to expand our trap line.” Nick said relating how it gave them infinite range to help compensate for the diminishing game that was sure to occur soon around here.
“Damn! I mean you all did alright! Zack said beaming a smile at the sight of the fine post-apocalyptic transport the ladies had come up with.
“Did you tell him yet?” Donna said walking over with Rachel who seemed beside her self to show off the Deer hunting plantation mobile she wanted Zack to get first ride on.
“Tell me what?” Zack asked not sure he was up for any more surprise news that somehow depleted or added to their preps depending on how you looked at it.
“Did you tell him about dinner yet?” Donna asked Dee who seemed reluctant to go there.
“Oh, you mean I ain’t getting none? Well at least I AINT, getting a juicy steak any time in the future unless you traded some of our canned good crap for something else you haven’t told me about.” Zack said thinking he and Ezra needed to have a discussion on those two cases of Spam he had gotten from the store manager to “bribe” Zack’s mythical FEMA boss Ezra. He was all for sharing the bounty they had got with the community but when it came down to who was eating what he planned on eating a bit better as his own reward for using just his wits to get it. It wasn’t steak but fried spam sounded awful good right now.
“We cooking but your right no community steak dinner I am sorry to say. We kept back 3 cases of chicken parts and are making a big batch of soup. Now you or Sloan going to have to be the ones to explain to folks after dinner I want their chicken bones thrown back in the pot when they are done gnawing at them. It might sound gross to sum but we are going to make a bone broth with maybe a little meat in it for tomorrow. I got a pillow case to strain it through or Bobby’s wife says she has a colander and a sieve we can use. I haven’t quite figured it all out yet but we ain’t letting nothing go to waste.” Donna said.
“I have been showing people some edible plants around here and we are going to throw a mess of wild edible greens in it and make some corn bread for tomorrow’s supper. One meal a day is what Ezra and Ann said we could maybe do with the supplies on hand depending on how many go home and we might have two weeks’ worth of food if we are careful. “Rachel said outlining the camps kitchen state of affairs.
“I figured they might as well get used to eating wild and get their stomachs used to it. We will try to stretch that two weeks into a month that way and we ain’t asking anyone to contribute any hid out personal food they still got.” Ann said relating the decisions they had all come to a consensus on regarding what to do with these soon to be starving people.
“We got any kind of head count on who is going and or who is staying camping over here?” Zack asked.
“Bobby’s wife is making a list and somehow he managed to come up with a school bus and has Pedro figuring out a route to drop everyone off that lives close by. Jose already took Franklin and Rod home and they said one or both of them will be back tomorrow to talk to you. They were going to try to get their home Ham radios working and get some news on what just happened.” Parker said.
“But do we have a number yet? How did you come up with that food figure if we got folks leaving?” Zack asked.
“Well it’s a guesstimation you might say. It looks like we will lose about 30 people today or tomorrow. I tell you what people just don’t think right sometimes. We got folks here that live close to hear saying they might hang around for a few days like they are having fun or something while we got others saying they will bring clothes and toys for the kids back once they get home to second vehicles and come back.” Donna said shaking her head.
“Damnation! Reminds me of all the unwanted donations of old cloths and outdated foodstuffs the emergency response centers got to deal with from unimaginative but well-intentioned idiots we get every hurricane season. Usually I stress the point cash money is a better more useful donation but this time I want real food and volunteers that are useful for something other than having to be fed to stay in the way. If thirty people leave how many folks does that leave us with? Maybe 45 or so? Hell, those that got a home need to be there prepared or not, I don’t need them fringe living around us
waiting on the water to go down just because they only got the one car.” Zack said trying to figure out an approximate way to run some people off and get help from others.