by Penny Jordan
Her heartbeat thundered in her own ears as she tried to calculate how long she would be able to keep him at bay. Today she had been able to dismiss him, but how long did she have before that dark, fierce desire she sensed in him overturned the control of his mind and he made good the words he had said to her before he left. It would not be a matter of using force, both of them knew that. All he needed to do was to touch her and her self-control vanished.
Very well then, she told herself resolutely, she would just have to see that he never got the opportunity to touch her. As she made this decision the thought slid into her mind that if Dominic were to believe she had another lover… But that was impossible.
* * *
Work was the only panacea she could find, and she used it ruthlessly to blot out all thoughts of Dominic. She was lucky, she told herself tiredly as she let herself into the house late one afternoon, that the setting up of her new partnership with Harry meant that she was having to make constant trips to her solicitor and the bank.
She had been surprised by how well the bank manager had received her request for a loan. She had explained to him that she was going to sell the house and he had gone through her financial circumatances in thorough detail with her.
Harry too had been able to secure a loan, and their new partnership would be official from the end of the month.
Today she had been to London with Harry to the workshop off the docks to tell the others about their plans which had been greeted with pleasing enthusiasm. If she could just get a commission from Vera now the new venture would be off to a flying start.
It was a nuisance that she was still without a car, but the garage had promised to get hers back to her just as soon as they could, although they had told her that its roadworthy life was now extremely limited.
The phone rang as she walked inside and her stomach jolted treacherously, but it wasn’t Dominic, it was the estate agent, suggesting that he call round in the morning to assess the house.
They had been having a spell of exceptionally good weather, and in the morning, to take advantage of the slight breeze, Kate wedged the front door open so that the air could waft through the house. The estate agent was due at ten, and then she was going over to have lunch with Sue. The summer heat called for cool easy-to-wear clothes and on impulse she had bought herself a new dress when she was in London.
It had been so long since she had last bought herself anything new that she had been faintly shocked by the prices, but a cheque received the previous day for some work she had done had made her feel reckless. It was a pleasant feeling to spend money she had earned herself, and in the end she had surprised herself by buying a totally unsuitable but undeniably lovely concoction which consisted of two tiers of finely pleated cool white cotton chiffon below the waist while above it, the cotton chiffon was supplemented by two panels of delicate blue and green embroidery on a white background which ran from the small round neckline down to the softly bloused waist at both the front and the back. Long full sleeves in the white cotton chiffon fastened at the wrists with another band of embroidery, and while a streak of common sense had told her that the dress was an unnecessary luxury, Kate hadn’t been able to resist it.
Now the fabric felt deliciously cool against her skin, and catching sight of herself in a mirror she paused to study her reflection more thoroughly. Despite its demure high neck and long sleeves the dress had a floaty, almost transparent quality that hinted erotically at the shape of the body it clothed. The delicate tones of the embroidery highlighted her vivid colouring, and her hair, newly washed and totally untameable, had for once been left down.
The dress was, Kate recognised wryly, the representation of a female urge as old as time, that of needing to make herself as attractive as possible to the man she desired. But hadn’t she already decided that she was going to do all she could to discourage Dominic?
The sound of a car coming up the drive put an end to her musings and she got downstairs just in time to greet the estate agent as he stepped out of his car.
‘Martin Allwood, Mrs Hammond,’ he introduced himself, extending his hand. ‘We did meet when you came into the office.’
His fair hair glinted in the sun, his expression openly admiring as light blue eyes studied her tall slender body.
‘If I may say so, you present a charmingly cool appearance on a very hot morning.’
‘I’m due to have lunch with a friend,’ Kate responded coolly, warning him that she had not dressed for his benefit, and the interest in his eyes sharpened slightly.
‘I think if you don’t mind we’ll do the garden first,’ he suggested. ‘There’s much more land with the property than I had realised. It would make an ideal family home—just the sort I’d like myself, if I was married…’
Kate, falling into step with him as they followed the crazy paving path round the side of the house, looked sharply at him, wondering if he was deliberately informing her that he wasn’t married. He was attractive enough, although a little too bland and squeaky-clean for her taste, but she had no doubt that most women found him attractive.
They went over the garden and then through the house, Kate answering his questions about the history of the house. He had discarded the jacket of his suit, after asking her permission, and unfastened the top buttons of his shirt.
They had reached the main bedroom when Kate heard another car coming down the drive. Frowning slightly for she wasn’t expecting anyone, she went to the window and leaned out, her frown lifting as she saw that it was her own car. The garage had obviously finished working on it and had brought it back for her.
Obviously drawn to the window by the new arrival, Martin Allwood came to stand behind her, one arm extended behind her to support himself as he too leaned forward.
The car door opened, and Kate felt her stomach cramp protestingly as Dominic got out.
He looked up at the window straight away, and it was only when she saw his mouth compress that Kate realised that the way they were standing suggested an intimacy between herself and the estate agent that actually had no reality.
‘I’d better go down,’ she told him as they both moved away from the window.
‘I’ll follow you…there isn’t much more for me to do up here…this was the last room, wasn’t it?’
Nodding her agreement, Kate hurried downstairs. She had left the front door open and Dominic was standing in the hall, his face contorted with savage anger.
‘What have you done with your lover?’ he demanded harshly. ‘Left him to finish dressing on his own? You’re being very indiscreet entertaining him so early in the day, Kate. Does he know, I wonder, that he’s satisfying a desire I aroused in you?’
The bitter mingling of anger and contempt, his totally erroneous suppositions about her, took Kate’s breath away for a moment. It was ridiculous that Dominic should think that she and Martin Allwood were lovers…and she opened her mouth to tell him so when she realised what he had said about her desire for him, and anger replaced her stupefaction.
‘You’re very arrogant, Dominic,’ she told him softly, veiling her eyes with her lashes before he could see the gleam of temper in them. ‘You’re not the only man I’ve wanted, you know.’
She hadn’t expected her gibe to have the effect it did. Almost immediately the bitterness died from his eye, to be replaced by pain. He took a step towards her and then stopped, looking at the stairs. Glancing over her shoulder, Kate saw Martin Allwood coming leisurely down the stairs, shrugging on his jacket as he did so, for all the world as though he were indeed perhaps her lover.
As she turned away from Dominic to follow him outside to his car, he said to her with a smile,
‘I’ll be in touch as soon as I can.’
He got into his car and was just about to drive off when Dominic walked up to it and asked casually, ‘If you’re going back in the direction of the village, I wonder if I might beg a lift. I left my own car at the garage.’
‘Sure… Get in.’<
br />
Her forehead creased in a frown, Kate watched them drive away. Why had Dominic begged a lift from Martin? To warn him about the sort of woman she was? She went cold at the thought, but could not think of any other reason for his behaviour. It was obvious to her that having brought out her car he must have expected that she would drive him back to the garage…but he had gone almost without exchanging a word with her.
* * *
As always, Sue was pleased to see her, commenting appreciatively on how attractive she looked.
‘Obviously you’re not letting what Dominic said get to you. Good for you, Kate, it’s high time you started living again. By the way,’ she added curiously, ‘you never did say why he reacted to you the way he did.’
The secret Kate had guarded so assiduously in the past no longer seemed so important and so, taking a deep breath, she explained to her friend what had happened that fateful weekend.
‘And he rejected you?’ Sue asked, saucer-eyed.
‘He thought I made a habit of going to bed with all and sundry,’ Kate told Sue drily, ‘but it’s all in the past now.’
‘Well, I must say you’re taking it all very philosophically,’ Sue marvelled. ‘In your shoes…well, I’d certainly like to give him a taste of his own medicine at the very least!’
Although she had told Sue everything that had happened eight years ago, Kate had not told her that she now knew that Dominic desired her, nor did she intend to; it would complicate the issue too much, and besides, she had no wish to expose him. On the contrary, she actually felt faintly protective towards him, wanting to shield him.
‘It’s over now and totally unimportant,’ she told Sue lazily.
‘But to criticise you like that, and in public…’ protested Sue, growing quite heated again. ‘Honestly, Kate, you should have told him the truth…taken him down a peg or two. I’ve invited the Bensons over for lunch on Sunday. I could have a word with Vera, if you like…’
‘No… honestly, I’d rather leave it,’ Kate told her, glancing at her watch and announcing that it was time she was on her way.
‘Well, don’t forget, we expect you for lunch as well on Sunday,’ Sue reminded her as she walked her to her car. ‘I hope this weather holds, I thought we might have a barbecue outside…what do you think?’
‘I think it’s a good idea, the forecast is promising.’
‘Mmm.’
They kissed and Kate got in her car. Sue was a dear and loyal friend, if inclined to be a little hot-tempered, she thought with a grin as she drove off, but the last thing she wanted now was for Dominic to know the truth—although even if he did know would he be able to accept it?
She took a different route home than usual to save time, one she rarely used because she did not like it. The road ran past the grim bulk of a high-security prison, and every time Kate saw it it made her shiver. What must it be like to be locked up inside there for the rest of one’s life? And yet weren’t even many people who were physically free still prisoners, locked up within their own emotional problems? Just as she had been locked up in the fear of her own inadequacy as a woman…just as Dominic was locked up in his struggle between wanting her and despising her.
Sighing faintly, she automatically increased her speed a little as she drove past the prison.
There had been a tremendous amount of local opposition to it when it had been built twenty years ago. Both her father and Ricky’s grandfather had objected strenuously to it, since it was closer to their homes than it was to the village, but their objections had not prevailed.
The restlessness which had possessed her since Dominic’s reappearance in her life consumed her that evening. She wandered out into the garden, suddenly realising that she was still wearing her new dress. Why? It was the sort of dress a woman wore for a man…but she had no man to wear it for…nor wanted one, she told herself fiercely.
The heat of the day had given way to an oppressive over-warm evening, with the promise of the sort of night that made sleep impossible.
Kate was just considering the virtues of a cooling shower when the phone rang.
Picking up the receiver, she recognised Vera’s voice, bubbling with excitement and pleasure.
‘Kate, Ian’s agreed to your design for the conservatory!’ she began without preamble. ‘I’m so thrilled, I had to ring and tell you right away. He loved the design right from the start, but he took a bit of convincing over the cost.’ Vera gave a rich chuckle. ‘But now that he and Dominic have agreed the last details of their merger, he’s a little more relaxed. I was wondering if I could come over and see you so that we could discuss the design in more detail?’
When Kate replaced the receiver, tempering her delight that Vera had offered her the commission was the knowledge that Dominic might be about to become a more permanent feature of local life than she had envisaged. Still, she comforted herself that he would want to be involved with her as little as she did with him. His desire for her was purely physical, tormenting him all the more because he felt he should not want her, and who could tell, now, believing that Martin Allwood was her lover, might he not decide that he did not want her after all?
Logic told Kate that a man who on his admission had wanted her for eight years was hardly likely to suddenly cease that wanting…but it was a logic she didn’t want to hear.
CHAPTER SIX
ON the Friday morning Martin Allwood rang to discuss with Kate the price he thought she should ask for the property. It was very much higher than she had expected, but he explained to her that he thought it highly likely that it would be bought by one of the many London-based businessmen moving into the area.
‘We could have asked another three or four thousand,’ he continued, ‘but in view of the proximity of the prison I decided against it. There are those who would consider that, plus the relative remoteness of the house, a negative factor,’ he warned her. ‘It’s not exactly unknown for prisoners to break out of these places, and the house is pretty close by. However, I don’t think we need to concern ourselves too much about that.’ He paused and then added quickly, ‘I was wondering whether I could take you out for lunch on Sunday…it’s the only day we don’t work during the summer and…’
Thankful that she had a genuine excuse, Kate refused, explaining that she was already committed to lunch with someone else, and since Martin did not press the issue, she suspected it was the sort of invitation he made casually to every woman who took his eye.
It was only later that she called herself a fool for not taking what would have been a golden opportunity to provide herself with a genuine barrier against Dominic, but it was too late for second thoughts now.
Saturday she spent with Harry, going round some of the churches under his care. Together they inspected their stained glass, Kate making notes for later on. This more traditional aspect of their work was not as interesting to her as the more modern commissions, but it all provided valuable experience, and she couldn’t help marvelling at the details that had gone into some of the windows. In many cases they were already damaged with pieces missing, but they could be repaired, and it was good to have something that would bring in a regular source of income.
‘Same time next week,’ joked Harry as she left for home. ‘We’ve still got a dozen or so to do.’
‘Fine,’ Kate agreed. ‘I’ll get these notes typed up and make out a folder for them.’
‘Very businesslike,’ Harry teased her, adding wryly as she started her car, ‘And take care, I don’t like you driving that old banger all the way over here, Kate… I think I could swing it so that you could get a loan from the bank to buy a new one.’
Touched by his thoughtfulness, she shook her head. ‘It’s okay,’ she assured him. ‘I’m planning to change it once the house is sold, which shouldn’t take too long. Which reminds me…I’d like you to come over and have a look at the cottage with me. It’s got some outhouses, which I thought could be converted into a workshop, but I’ll need your advice.’
‘Mmm…sounds good. A second workshop would be very useful. Give me a ring when you want me to come over.’ Harry bent to kiss her cheek and then stood watching until she had driven out of sight.
Harry made her feel warm and cared for, Kate thought happily as she headed for home. In some ways he and his family had become her own, replacing the father she had lost and the mother she had never really known, but as yet she hadn’t told him about Dominic…
But then what was there to tell? Nothing, she told herself firmly, and that was the way it was going to stay.
* * *
Kate prepared for Sue’s lunch with lethargic indifference, knowing she did not want to go, but also knowing that Sue would cross-question her if she did not.
The good weather was holding, heat rippling the tarmac as she drove towards her friend’s, reminding her of how, as a child, she would sit in the back seat of her father’s car with her nose glued to the window, until the undulating road surface was transformed into water.