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by M. L. Ryan

  “Are you alright in there?” I heard Alex shout on the other side of the bathroom door.

  If I had been smart, I would have answered him immediately. Instead, I groaned and tried to disentangle myself from the wet, plastic mess that surrounded me.

  Alex burst through the door, the light from the hallway illuminating the jumble of my naked self, sprawled on the tile, atop the now shredded drape.

  I have to give him credit; he chivalrously turned around almost immediately. But I could still see his shoulders shaking as he tried, with only moderate success, to stifle the laughter that threatened to overwhelm him.

  “Wow. You seem to fall down a lot,” he finally managed to say.

  “Just toss me the towel, please,” I croaked out in embarrassment.

  He complied, and I dried my hair somewhat before wrapping myself in it. When I stood up, it was apparent that I had done no serious damage—a few places were going to be bruised, but my body escaped relatively intact. I couldn’t say the same for my ego, however.

  “Did the bulb burn out?” Alex queried as I swept past him and into my bedroom.

  I slammed the door and quickly threw on some clothes. I planned to try to salvage as much dignity as I could by acting as if showering in the dark and falling in a heap on the floor was an everyday occurrence, but I couldn’t pull it off. Sheepishly, I opened the bedroom door, hoping by some miracle Alex had developed amnesia and had forgotten the last five minutes. Or at the very least, had decided to take a long walk to allow me time to wallow privately in my humiliation. No such luck, because there he was, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, with a huge grin on his face.

  “Oh god,” I moaned, using my hands to hide the bright red flush crawling up my cheeks. I peeked out between my fingers and looked up into his vivid blue-green eyes, which now conveyed more concern than amusement. “I didn’t want Sebastian to see me naked, so I turned out the lights.”

  Alex’s mouth curved into another smile. “I’m fairly certain that if Sebastian had wanted to observe you unclothed he has had ample opportunity in the previous days. Besides, he can only see what you see. You could have simply closed your eyes when necessary.”

  “He has a point, my dear. And while I may be many things, a degenerate I am not. I shall respect your privacy, as much as possible, given the extraordinary circumstances in which we find ourselves ensnared.”

  “Thanks, Sebastian. I appreciate that.” I turned to Alex and explained what Sebastian had just said. “So, besides his being able to see what I see and talk in my head, what else can he make me do?”

  Sebastian began speaking before Alex had a chance to answer my question. “I can also sense your physiologic changes, like when you are hungry, or upset, but I cannot force you to do anything.”

  “You made me phone Alex and say his Coursodon name,” I protested.

  “Yes, but even those minor acts required a tremendous amount of magical energy. In my present form—or lack thereof—to be more precise, I am only capable of limited, compelling spells. Although under normal circumstances, I could make you do all sorts of things without your consent, if I so desired.”

  While I could only hear Sebastian, I got the distinct impression there was a wink at the end of that last comment. I decided to ignore the innuendo.

  “Okay, what about the scotch and the sugar-loaded coffee?”

  “I believe that in those instances, your body was reacting to my preferences. I was craving Glen Fiddich, and that trickled over to you.”

  “You believe?” I snapped. “I’d feel a lot better about this if you had more to go on than just conjecture.”

  Sebastian snapped back. “Don’t take that tone with me. This is the first time I have accomplished this. It’s all conjecture at this point.”

  My indignation was growing exponentially. “And did you make me trip the first time I saw Alex?”

  “I wanted to be certain that you established contact. I couldn’t let you just jog past each other.”

  “You know, Hailey, Sebastian feels terrible about what has happened,” Alex began quietly. “He obviously never meant for some unsuspecting person to be caught up in all this and your safety, skinned knees notwithstanding, is his utmost concern. He may be pretentious and self-absorbed, but he is also extremely ethical and conscientious.”

  Now I felt humiliated and presumptuous. I prided myself on my objectivity, and here I was, making assumptions. I realized that I knew very little about Sebastian, which seemed unfortunate given that we were currently cohabitating, so to speak.

  “You’re right, Alex. I’m sorry I was so bitchy.”

  No one said anything for a while, and the silence started making me feel uncomfortable. Using the age-old strategy of changing the subject to dispel the awkwardness, I said, “So, tell me about Sebastian. You mentioned that he was your mentor?”

  “Yes, I was lucky enough to be his apprentice for many years before we became partners. He taught me everything I know.”

  “So he’s older than you?”

  “Quite a bit. He’s at least two hundred and fifty years old.”

  At first, I envisioned some old, wrinkly codger. Then I realized that if Alex looked the way he did at a hundred and twenty-four, Sebastian probably appeared middle aged. I made a mental note to make sure I grilled them both about various historical events. What a boon to be able to get information from someone who was actually alive during the constitutional convention or the Civil War.

  “What sorts of things did he teach you?” I asked, trying to stay on topic.

  Alex settled on the sofa before he answered, stretching his long legs and resting his feet on the coffee table.

  “All Coursodon are born with some type of magical aptitude. Most excel at only one or two talents. Some are gifted healers; some have a talent for more physical manifestations. Whatever the natural proclivities, they need to be nurtured and developed. It’s the same with humans; you have a particular skill, you get training to improve your natural abilities. Sebastian and I are unusual in that we are both proficient in a multitude of specialties—Sebastian extraordinarily so. As a boy, I was sent to live with him, so that he could help me to reach my full potential.”

  “Sort of like boarding school for the magically gifted,” I remarked.

  He smiled ruefully. “Yes, but I was the only student.”

  “That must have been lonely. Didn’t you miss your parents?”

  “I got to spend holidays with them,” he shrugged. “And having Sebastian as a teacher was amazing. He rarely accepts apprentices and it was a huge honor to be chosen. When I became an adult, he continued to train me as a Xyzok.”

  “So you hunt Coursodon miscreants too?

  “There’s a separate agency that’s responsible for internal law enforcement; you know, crimes of Courso on Courso. Sebastian and I are affiliated with a more specialized force that hunts Coursodon that prey upon humans. We have two main duties: to apprehend or eliminate those of our kind that use magical ability to harm humans and to keep our existence hidden from the general public.”

  That last comment gave me pause. “Am I in some sort of danger because I know about the Coursodon?”

  “Oh no, of course not,” he stated confidently. “There’s no problem with small numbers of people becoming aware of us. But we are hesitant to make our presence known on a wide scale until we are certain that humans can accept us. No point in drumming up trouble.”

  I had to admit that I couldn’t fault that logic. Throughout history, humans had enough difficulty accepting the relatively minor differences between cultures and races. It was hard to imagine the chaos that might ensue if we had to deal with supernaturals.

  “Maybe in the next century,” I remarked sarcastically. “And frankly, I wouldn’t wager any money on it happening that soon.”

  “Yes, humans can be quite resistant to change. They cling so tenaciously to their beliefs, even when faced with ample evidence tha
t they are incorrect. On the other hand, one of the things that I find so appealing about humans is that same resolve when it comes to ideals that should never be altered. It is, in a sense, one of humanity’s best, and at the same time, worst qualities.”

  While I pondered the philosophical ramifications of Alex’s comments, Sebastian decided to insert himself into the conversation.

  “Alexander has always been so cerebral about such things. Change occurs whether one accepts it or not. The only difference is how much energy one expends during the journey.”

  “Sebastian says you’re over thinking the whole stubborn human thing.”

  Alex chortled softly. “Sebastian is uncomfortable with the complexities of life.”

  “He is mistaken, my dearest Hailey. I revel in complexity. It is the complicated that I abhor. Complex implies order with intricacy. Complicated involves convolution. Those are the subtleties that Alexander does not embrace.”

  I was beginning to get tired of repeating what Sebastian was saying to me back to Alex. “Hey, don’t get me in the middle of some metaphysical pissing contest,” I complained. “It’s bad enough having someone else’s voice in my head; I can’t be expected to be Sebastian’s official spokesperson. You guys want to debate the fine distinctions between words and concepts, do it when you are hooked up and leave me out of it.”

  “Of course, do forgive me. But please, try not to get those lovely, pink lace panties of yours in a wad over it.”

  “My pink lace panties?” I sputtered.

  “I’m sorry, is that not the proper terminology—panties in a wad? Modern slang can be so cumbersome.”

  Now that he brought it up, I had put on a fuchsia thong after the shower incident. “How did you… wait, you said you were too gallant to look.”

  “I said I’m not a degenerate, I didn’t say I lack normal masculine proclivities. I admit—I peeked. You should not be self-conscious, my dear, you are quite lovely. And that’s truly a great compliment, considering I have been with thousands of women.”

  Alex scowled in response to the one-sided conversation, but I was pretty sure he got the salient points, because he uttered an accusatory, “Sebastian…?” in a clipped tone.

  “Oh whatever,” I tossed out in resignation. Great. Now everyone had seen me naked today. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”

  I looked expectantly at Vinnie, who had been lounging on top of one of the bookshelves during our conversation, hoping that he would follow me into my room. Instead, he gave me one of those typically feline looks that expressed something akin to “hell no,” jumped onto the couch and began rubbing his head enthusiastically on Alex’s arm.

  Alex shrugged sheepishly. “I’m sure he’s just a bit put off by Sebastian’s aura.”

  “Yeah,” I said, as I headed off for the bedroom. “Me and him both.”

  ~7~

  The rest of the weekend passed without too many problems. Alex continued to e-mail various associates in and around Shenzhen, where Sebastian had been attacked, to determine if his body could be located. The plan was that if we found his body, Alex and I would travel there and try to complete the reconvergence.

  Alex and Sebastian spent a good part of Sunday planning how to proceed and that left me relegated to duty as their communication conduit. It was weird sitting there, palm to palm with Alex for hours at a time without speaking, but eventually it became clear that as long as I didn’t talk, I could engage in other activities without disturbing the connection.

  I still couldn’t bring myself to use the Kindle, although I’m not sure why I was afraid. I mean, really, what were the chances of something other than literature popping out now that Sebastian had been unleashed. I did get a chance to watch one of my all-time favorite movies, The Princess Bride, as well as some English Premier League soccer, which both Alex and Sebastian enjoyed.

  On Monday, I went to work with Alex in tow. He said it was a good idea in case he thought of something he needed to consult Sebastian on, but secretly, I think he was just worried that leaving us unchaperoned could result in World War III.

  We had to fabricate a cover story to explain who Alex was and why he was coming to work with me. Most of what we came up with ranged from incredibly lame—Alex is an old friend from out of town, who has always wanted to see what I do for a living to merely lame —I met Alex at the bar and invited him to come to work with me, because he thought I was bullshitting him about what I did for a living. In fact, Alex had been incredulous when I admitted that I did not work at a dairy, per se. I think he found it inconceivable that anyone could engage in such an absurd occupation.

  We finally settled on a version of the latter scenario: I met Alex at the bar and it turned out he is a computer whiz who I hired to help revamp our outdated computer system.

  My co-workers might be skeptical about how we met, as I wasn’t one to strike up conversations with strangers, but they would be pleased that I had finally decided to upgrade the technology in the office. And the fact that Alex was hot wouldn’t bother Rachel and Chelsea too much either.

  As was my custom, we arrived before everyone else. Alex made the coffee while I opened the barriers for the critters. When the coffee was brewing, he peered out the window, from the office to the playroom, watching what I was doing with a wry smile on his face.

  “Honestly, even when we got here, I was still convinced that you were making all this up,” he began as soon as I returned to the office. “There’s actually money to be made in chinchilla milk cheese?”

  I moved past him and plunked down in my chair before answering.

  “The company makes all kinds of more traditional cheeses that keep the business in the black. They only make a small profit on the chinchilla milk products, but it attracts people to the other stuff,” I explained. “The chinchilla cheese is really, really expensive because they don’t give much milk. People only buy it occasionally or on a lark.”

  “I’m sure no party is complete without the chinchilla milk cheese spread,” he teased. “How did you become a chinchilla milk maid, anyway?”

  “The lab that I used to work in did nutritional research. We had to use rat milk for some of the experiments, and it’s not like you can just go to nutritional studies dot com for that kind of thing. So I became the rat milker. It’s not the kind of thing you figure will ever help you on your resume, but someone I knew from the University heard about the artisanal cheese business in town and wanted to expand its line to the more exotic, and recommended me. The rest, as they say, is history.”

  He seemed to be letting all that sink in as he stared at me and tapped his fingers on the desk. Finally, he said, “Is this something that you enjoy?”

  “Well, I like the critters and the people I work with are great.” Not really a rousing endorsement, but in truth, I didn’t see myself making a lifetime career of it. “I suppose someday I’ll figure out what I want to do when I grow up,” I added jokingly.

  I heard the front door open and in came Chelsea and Daniel, with Rachel following close behind. Rachel was regaling them with specifics of Harrison’s weekend bout with food poisoning that would make a physician nauseous. I think Daniel and Chelsea were trying to stay ahead of her in an attempt to avoid hearing any more of the disgusting details than they had to, but Rachel was oblivious to their obvious discomfort. As fantastic as Rachel was, she did have a tendency to over share sometimes.

  Fortunately for us all, as soon as she saw Alex she didn’t finish her newest comment, which had started with, “And the grossest part was when… ”

  I introduced Alex and explained that he was here to make the computers and software more efficient. As Alex began to boot up one of the desktops on the other side of the room, Rachel slid up close to me. She lowered her voice and drawled, “Niiiiice. Where’d you find the hot geek?”

  Somehow, confronted with my friend’s salacious tone, the meeting-in-the-bar story, while true, seemed a bad choice. I was trying to come up with a reasonable
alternative when Alex, whose back was to us while he scrutinized the computer screen, piped in with, “We met at O’Reilly’s on Friday night.”

  Rachel raised one eyebrow but said nothing. I knew that as soon as we were alone, however, she would pepper me with questions.

  I heard Sebastian let out a long, drawn out “Hmmmm” as Rachel walked over to the coffee pot and poured herself a mug full. “My, my. That is a magnificent woman. Exquisite.”

  I wanted to tell Sebastian to shut up, but stopped myself before I had to explain why I blurted out a complete non sequitur. I continued to smile at Rachel while Sebastian persisted in extolling her beauty. When I could stand it no longer, I retreated to the relative privacy of the large, walk-in storage refrigerator on the other side of the building before I let him have it.

  “Shut. The. Fuck. Up!” I shouted. “I don’t want to hear how fantastic Rachel would look naked!”

  “Tsk, Tsk, my dear. Such language. I apologize for offending your delicate sensibilities.”

  “I thought we discussed this before we left the house,” I snarled. “You can’t just prattle on in my head while I’m around other people. Try to restrain yourself.”

  “I will keep my thoughts on such matters to myself in the future,” he said, somewhat apologetically.

  “Not just these matters—try to keep quiet unless there is something important you need to say.” Given that Sebastian was so freaking old, you wouldn’t think I would take on the parental role in this relationship.

  I returned to the office to find Alex and Daniel animatedly discussing firewalls. As I have little interest in the topic, I left them to their conversation and went about my morning’s tasks. By the time I took a break, it was close to lunchtime. I had managed to avoid the inevitable chat with Rachel and blessedly, Sebastian had been silent since our confrontation in the cooler.

  We had sandwiches delivered from a nearby café and Chelsea and Rachel interrogated Alex while we ate. Oh sure, they tried to make it seem like friendly chitchat, but I knew better. They were trying to do some exploratory reconnaissance to determine Alex’s dating potential, for my benefit, I presumed.