Under the Gun

by Kelsey Browning

  Lil put her hand out in front of Maggie. “I’ll talk to him.”

  “What is it with you ladies?” Teague asked, annoyance clear in his tone.

  “We found Jessie’s gauntlets.”

  He dropped his head back. “Didn’t you promise to stay out of it? And where are Sera and Abby Ruth?”

  “Abby Ruth is holding the perimeter.” She felt quite adept using the jargon she’d learned by watching television reruns. Then she said in a rush, “But no time to talk about that now. Sera is just inside the door with the gauntlets.”

  “Y’all are killing me,” he said, then lowered his chin and said something into his radio.

  He adjusted his service belt on his lean hips and entered through the back door. Lil slipped in right behind him. Sera and the dancer were a few feet away, chatting it up as though they’d know each other for ten years instead of ten minutes.

  “Somewhere we can have a private word, ma’am?” Teague said to the dancer.

  “What’s this about?” The Jessie-a-go-go took a step away from Teague and looked at Sera as if she’d betrayed her in the worst possible way. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  He nodded toward the door. “Come with me. We can step outside where we don’t have an audience.”

  She flushed but didn’t put up a fight.

  Teague held the door for her, and she walked outside in her skimpy robe, gauntlet fringe swaying. Sera pushed through right behind them and walked over to join Lil and Maggie, who’d moved up within a few feet of the door.

  “I can’t wait to hear what she’s going to say,” Lil whispered. “But I don’t recognize her as one of the lookalikes at Jessie’s funeral.”

  Teague radioed something else in, then said to Maggie, Sera and Lil, “Ladies, I’ll take this from here.”

  Not one of them moved. This was Lil’s reputation, after all. Didn’t she have a right to hang around and make sure she was cleared?

  “If you don’t want me to call one of my deputies and have the three of you—” Abby Ruth strolled out the door about that time, “—dammit, the four of you, arrested for interfering with an investigation, I suggest you get your fannies back in Sera’s van and go home.”

  “Tadpole,” Abby Ruth drawled, “you aren’t a bit of fun these days.”

  “That’s life when you’re the sheriff,” he shot back. “Which not one of you are.”

  “But we tracked down these gauntlets, and that should count for something.”

  “I suppose you want some kind of commendation?”

  “Nope,” Abby Ruth said cheerfully, propping her hip against a car nearby in a way that indicated she had no plans to go anywhere. “But I figure we should get to stick around and hear the whole story.”

  “Fine, but stay quiet.”

  “But—”

  “This is not your rodeo. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Hmph,” Abby Ruth grunted, but they all zipped their lips.

  Teague turned to the suspect. “So, Miss…”

  “Just Starr,” she offered.

  “Starr, what can you tell me about how you came to have these gauntlets in your possession?”

  “In my what?”

  “How did you get your hands on them?”

  “Oh,” she said. “Joe-Jack.”

  “Joe and Jack?” Teague jotted something on his iPad. “Are they friends of yours?”

  “Just one friend. Joe-Jack. Ya know, with one of them hyphens in the middle. Apparently, his momma couldn’t decide, so she named him Joe-Jack Billy-Wayne.”

  “Dear God,” Abby Ruth muttered.

  “And does Joe-Jack with a hyphen have a last name?” Teague asked.

  “Williams.”

  Joe-Jack Billy-Wayne Williams. JJBWW—that was one heck of a monogram. Made Lil think of that Jabberwocky poem.

  “Do you know where Joe-Jack got the gauntlets?”

  “He always…oh…” Starr trailed off. “Maybe I need a lawyer.”

  “Starr, did you steal these gauntlets?”

  Her eyes flew wide as she straightened to attention, all of her little fringes swinging in the process. “No, sir.” She raised her right hand in the air. “Swear to goodness!”

  “Then you have nothing to worry about.”

  “Until I get home, you mean.”

  “But if you choose not to cooperate, I’ll have to take you in.”

  “But…but…” she sputtered. “My shift just started. I can’t leave now. I do that and all my tips’ll go to the other girls.”

  “Your decision.”

  Starr chewed on her lip, debating, for a minute or so. Finally, she said, “Joe-Jack likes me to wear nice things when I dance.”

  “Does he bring you nice things often?”

  “About once a week,” she said. “One time, he brought me this pillbox hat. Very cute. Very Jackie O. You know, until I put it on and sneezed my brains out. Who knew a girl could be allergic to mothballs? Mostly it’s cool stuff though.”

  “Any idea where all of these items come from?”

  She folded her arms across her body. “Joe-Jack has a job where that’s one of the perks.”

  “Ladies’ clothing? As a perk?” Teague’s eyebrows arched. “Would Joe-Jack happen to work at Holy Innocence Mausoleum?”

  Her mouth hung wide. “How did you know?”

  With a gimme motion, Teague said, “I’ll take those gauntlets now.”

  She took a step back. “Joe-Jack wouldn’t like that.”

  “Is Joe-Jack skinny or portly?” Lil asked.

  Teague turned and gave her that sheriff look. Lil smiled primly.

  “Like a rail,” Starr said. “I tease him about a tapeworm all the time. Eats like a cow but never gains an ounce. You know the type.”

  Hmm, Mr. Williams had obviously caught wind of how valuable Jessie Wyatt’s gauntlets were after the service and decided to cash in. But why in the world would he let his girlfriend wear them first?

  “Tell me, dear,” Lil said, “did your boyfriend give you those to wear?”

  Starr’s head tilted to one side, making her dark hair hang down over her shoulder. “Actually, no. I found them in his closet, and he wasn’t very happy when I came to the door wearing them—and only them. Normally me naked cheers him right up.”

  Teague shot Lil an enough look. “Did Joe-Jack mention his plans for them?”

  “Not exactly. He just said his luck was turning, and that this set of fringe would make him more money than his job slinging stiffs ever would. I figured I could make a lot more tips wearing them. I put up with Joe-Jack…don’t I deserve to cash in a little too?” Starr’s gaze darted to Teague and then back to Lil. “You won’t tell him I had them, will you? He’ll be so mad at me.” She slapped her hand over her mouth. “He reported them stolen, didn’t he? Oh my gosh, he knows I took them.”

  The tears started falling, and Teague gave one big eye roll before saying, “Calm down, miss.”

  Joe-Jack sounded like a right slimy person. But he was Teague’s problem now. Lil turned to her friends. “I think it’s time to concentrate on our other case…” She shot a quick look at Teague. “Um…our other casserole.”

  Once they were all inside the VW, Sera leaned back out to wave at Starr. “Nice to meet you. And great dance!”

  Chapter 18

  After the excitement of finding Jessie Wyatt’s missing gauntlets, Abby Ruth needed a couple days of recuperation time. She’d promised no more secrets, but the little white lie she told the gals, that she wanted to watch the NASCAR race on TV, didn’t really count. But during the race she gave in to how tired she was and changed into her PJ’s to take an afternoon nap.

  “Abby Ruth?” Sera knocked on the Sweet Vidalia room’s door. “You awake?”

  “Of course.” Barely. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “We’re heading to the Holy Innocence Mausoleum to check out a lead on your guns. Are you up to coming along?”

  After making such a fuss abou
t being left out, she couldn’t tell Sera she was too tired to go.

  So she jumped out of bed, got dressed, and off they went. Once again, Abby Ruth found herself sitting in the passenger seat, bouncing along in Sera’s beat-up VW van.

  She wasn’t about to admit to her friends that the ride was making her slightly carsick. Because if she did, they would insist on turning around and heading straight back to Summer Haven. Then they would investigate without her, and she’d let that happen about the time pigs started chartering commuter flights from Atlanta to Austin.

  “So what’s the plan?” It galled her to ask, since nine times out of ten she was the one to mastermind their sleuthing. But there was a first time for everything.

  “Well…” Sera dragged out the one word for so long, she almost sounded like a Southerner. Or was she stalling, once again keeping things from Abby Ruth?

  She tried to push her cynical nature to the side. They’d put all that leave-Abby-Ruth-out-of-everything behind them. She had to believe that.

  Sera continued, “We need to get there before the doors are locked for the day, but we’ll have to hang out until afterward so we can have the place to ourselves, really scope it out.”

  “Never knew there was a mausoleum this close to Summer Shoals,” Abby Ruth said. “Not until all this recent hype about Jessie Wyatt.”

  “You’re not the only one,” Lil said. “And I’ve lived here all my life.”

  They approached the mausoleum. One of the biggest, gaudiest damn things Abby Ruth had ever laid eyes on. And that was something a native Texan like her couldn’t often claim.

  Before they went inside, Sera pulled out the hemp tote bag she seemed to carry any time they went on a stakeout, and Abby Ruth eyed it. “Don’t tell me we’re picnicking again. I’m not sure I have the stomach for tofu salad when I know there are thousands of dead bodies all around me.”

  “Be honest, Abby Ruth,” Maggie said, “you don’t ever have the stomach for Sera’s tofu salad.”

  Woman had a point. “Damn straight. Sorry, Sera. No offense.”

  “It’s not tofu salad, so you can relax. I thought we might need a few supplies.” Sera shouldered the bag and led their group of four to the entrance. “Let’s take the stairs down. I figured the ladies’ room would be the best place to park ourselves until closing at five o’clock.”

  “You don’t think they’ll check the restrooms before locking up for the night?”

  “Best we can tell,” Lil chimed in, “they don’t pay much attention to that. After all, this isn’t exactly Disney World, where people want to stay and play after hours.”

  Hard to argue about that.

  They made their way to the lower level and settled in the bathroom’s anteroom, surprisingly comfortable with a full-size couch, a scattering of chairs, and a small dressing table. Probably so grieving widows could fix their makeup after shoving their better halves into one of those tiny rectangular spaces out there.

  At that thought, Abby Ruth couldn’t stop a shudder from cruising down her back.

  In front of a coffee table, Sera lowered herself to the floor in a cross-legged position and pulled a deck of cards from her bag. “How about a game of Crazy Eights or Old Maid to help us pass the time?”

  Abby Ruth glanced at Lil. “How about we make a new game called Crazy Old Maid?”

  “Very funny.” How a woman as short at Lillian Summer Fairview could manage to look down her nose at someone taller, Abby Ruth hadn’t a clue, but the woman was a master at it.

  They played half a dozen games before Abby Ruth glanced at her watch. “It’s 5:15. We could probably get started on the search.”

  With a tug at her lip, Sera shook her head. “I don’t have a good feeling about it yet. Why don’t we wait another half-hour?”

  Abby Ruth was wilting. If they didn’t get on the stick soon, she might not have the energy to wander through all these hallways, but once again, she kept her mouth shut. “Whatever you think.”

  “I could use a little nap.” Maggie stretched her arms high over her head and yawned so wide Abby Ruth was pretty sure she spotted her wisdom teeth.

  Abby Ruth thought that yawn looked like a fake, but darned if her jaw didn’t pop when she yawned too. The couch was pretty comfortable, probably even better if she stretched out on it. “I think I’ve had about as many hands of kids’ card games as I can handle right now. If we’re hanging around here for a while longer, I think I’ll rest my eyes for a minute.”

  “Oh, good idea,” Sera said brightly. She stretched out right there on the gray Berber carpet, and Lil shot her a look of proper Southern horror.

  But Abby Ruth couldn’t muster much interest in Lil’s standards right now. She yawned again and sank down on her side into the couch’s leather comfort. Oh, God, that felt good.

  Sometime later, her brain slowly came online again, and she heard Maggie whisper, “Do you think we should wake up her or leave her here?”

  “We can’t leave her here,” Sera said. “This is all about her.”

  “You sure as hell can’t.” With her stronger arm, Abby Ruth pushed herself to a sitting position and swiped the back of her hand over her mouth. Dammit, she hated to drool in public. “I’m raring to go.”

  “Let’s start on the top floor and work our way down from there.” Sera shot Maggie a look that meant they had something up their sleeves, but Abby Ruth didn’t have the wherewithal to figure out what that something was.

  When she stood, all the blood rushed from her head and she swayed. She tried to catch herself on the wall, but it didn’t seem to be where she’d left it. To her ever-loving humiliation, Lil dodged under her outstretched arm and kept her upright. “Careful there.”

  “I’m fine,” she groused.

  “Of course you are.”

  But when they trooped out into the hallway, Sera beelined for the elevator and jabbed the up button.

  Thank you, Jesus.

  Once they were on the top floor, Sera once again took the lead and began skulking through the rows of vaults stretching from the heels of Abby Ruth’s cowboy boots to a ceiling so high they’d need a cherry picker to store those stiffs. “Lotta bodies in here,” Abby Ruth said. “Now what’s the clue you got ahold of?”

  Sera glanced back over her shoulder. “Shh. You might scare her away.”

  “Her? Her who? I thought we had a lead on the guns.”

  But her friends were suspiciously closemouthed about what the heck they were looking for until they made it to the bottom floor, and Sera squealed. “Oh, I think I saw something.”

  Abby Ruth immediately reached for the Glock at the small of her back and threw an arm out to hustle the others behind her. “I’ll take care of this.” Because obviously, if someone was sneaking around this place after hours, she was up to no good.

  “Only Abby Ruth would think she could solve something by blowing a hole in a ghost,” Maggie said.

  “Did you say ghost?” She rounded on Maggie. “The three of you have been off your rockers all evening. Are you telling me you think a ghost woo-wooed out to Summer Haven, lifted a three-pound bolt cutter, grabbed fifteen guns, and made off with them? Not only that, but she brought them back to her final resting place like some kind of spectral squirrel?”

  Lord, why had she thought for a second that these three could head up a decent investigation? Thank goodness she’d discovered the truth before it was too late. As it was, her guns were likely in another state by now.

  But when she looked behind her, only Lil stood there. Sera and Maggie had taken off down a side aisle, their footsteps like a herd of wildebeest. So much for covert operations.

  Sera called out, “I spotted her. Maggie, you come from that side, and we’ll urge her toward Abby Ruth.”

  Lil looked as confused as Abby Ruth was and flashed her an apologetic smile. Something wasn’t right. For this woman to pull the stick out of her proper rear-end enough to offer up a silent apology, things had officially gone down the
shitter.

  “I’m not going to like whatever this is, am I?”

  Lil’s face squinched up, making her look every one of her seventy-something years. “They only told me about all this ten minutes ago. Just keep an open mind, dear.”

  Well, crap.

  That was when Abby Ruth spotted Sera and Maggie trailing a big ball of yellow light, patting it from behind as if they were playing a particularly lame game of tetherball.

  “What the hell is that?” As they approached Abby Ruth and Lil, the orb seemed to pulse and expand tall then wide, like one of those old Stretch Armstrong dolls. “Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure I don’t like it.”

  “Abby Ruth,” Sera said, “please meet Katherine St. Simon, Lady of Sorrows and Healing.”

  “If you tell me I need to bow and kiss a big-ass ball of light’s hand, you’re out of your mind.”

  The glowing St. Katherine of What-the-hell-ever flickered and began to fade.

  “No!” Sera blurted out. “Don’t go. She didn’t mean it. Stay and give her a chance.”

  “What exactly is she giving me a chance to do?”

  “Quick, Abby Ruth. Lay down on the floor and spread your arms and legs like you’re making a snow angel.”

  She cast a look at the floor underfoot. She wasn’t sure she was as brave as Sera because no telling how many feet had tramped over this stuff. “You’re not serious.”

  Sera jammed her hands onto her hips. “This from a woman I know has peed in the woods? Now lay down right this second, or I’m going to push you down and sit on you.”

  “I’d like to see you try,” she muttered. But she did as Sera instructed and eased her body to the floor. When she stretched out her limbs, she felt like six times a fool, especially with her friends standing around looking down at her. “Fine, I’m here. What now?”

  Sera bit her lip and stared at the light that had grown stronger again. “I’m not sure.”

  “I don’t even know what this is about.”

  “Our Lady is rumored to have healing powers. There are several accounts on YouTube of people who’ve visited her, let her energy surround their bodies, and whatever disease or ailment they suffered from began to get better.”