by Martina Cole
She sighed. ‘Well, that was then, and this is now. I know we are going to be very happy together.’
Barton could hear the uncertainty in her voice but he did not remark on it. After all, who knew what she had heard about Ray? He could guarantee that anything she did hear from certain people would not be to the good. Ray was making a few enemies and that was something Barton understood, because in their game it was part of living the Life.
‘He loves you, Sharon, more than anything. He adores those boys, and that little girl you’ve given him has made him happier than I have ever seen. Remember that. He ain’t like me. I’m always on the lookout for a bit of strange, as you have probably heard. Let’s face it – my old woman ain’t exactly quiet about my foibles, is she? But never him. Ray has eyes only for you and that counts in his favour, surely?’
Sharon forced a smile, feeling her face ache with the effort of looking as happy as this man wanted her to be. And she was happy – she was determined to be.
‘I’m glad to hear that, as you can imagine!’ She made her voice light and full of fun and that was good enough for Barton, who decided that he had said his piece and that would be the end of it.
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Eight
Ray caught young Lenny smoking outside and he saw the worry in the boy’s eyes at what Ray might have to say to him. He removed the cigarette from the boy’s mouth, crushed it out beneath his huge foot and, smiling his easy smile, he said quietly, ‘A mug’s game. Look at me and your mother, both hooked! If you are determined to do this then please make sure you don’t get caught in the future, OK?’
Young Lenny could not believe his luck; he had expected to be read the Riot Act. Ray wondered at why this boy didn’t irritate him; after all, he was the living image of his father. Yet that wasn’t an issue because he knew the boy was more his than he had ever been Lenny Scott’s. These lads of Sharon’s had needed a male presence and he had provided that. And he actually did care for them.
In the beginning he had courted them to get to Sharon, but now he looked on them as his own flesh and blood. He knew they adored little Kathy, and that pleased him because he really did not want them to be jealous of her. He had great plans for these boys and it did not involve university or any of the other shit that Sharon wanted for them; he had just said that to go along with her in the early days. They had a natural cunning and he felt that should be utilised. Also, as they had grown, they had expressed a desire to be a part of his world and that suited him down to the ground. Not that he would want that for his child, of course, but then Kathy was a female and, as such, would have no value to him in any way. But these were the offspring of Lenny Scott and that would never be forgotten.
‘Do you ever think of your real dad, Len?’
It was a question he had always wanted to ask, but there never seemed a right time to do it. Now he felt he could ask it without fear of the answer.
Young Lenny screwed his eyes up. It appeared that he was seriously considering the question, and then he said sadly, ‘Not really, Dad. It was so long ago and, even though he used to do things with Liam and me, he wasn’t doing them like you do. You know, just us together, laughing and that? It was always with Uncle Reggie.’
He held Ray’s eyes now and the unspoken truth was there between them. Liam had obviously told his older brother what he had witnessed and the boy had believed him. Which, considering the circumstances, spoke volumes. Young Lenny had sussed out that both he and his brother were used as a blind for the two men to spend time together. There was a small part of Ray that felt sorrow for Lenny Scott and the fact he had to live a lie for all those years. He was also sorry for this lad who had to come to terms with knowing what his father was.
‘Honestly, Dad? If he’d not been murdered, I think that I would have ended up killing him myself.’
It was so honest and so heartfelt that Ray could do no more than pull the boy into his arms and hug him tightly, and young Lenny returned the embrace with fervour.
‘Listen to me, Len. Your father was from a different world. He could never really be himself, you understand? Not in the world we live in, anyway.’
Young Lenny liked that he had said ‘the world we live in’. That seemed to seal their relationship. He liked that Ray thought he was worthy of being included in his life. His work life. It was what he wanted more than anything else.
‘He was a liar, Dad. To my mum and to us, and I hate him for it.’
Ray didn’t answer the boy; he didn’t know what to say. He was certain of one thing though: young Lenny had what it took – of that there was no doubt whatsoever. He hugged the lad again. Liam had come looking for them; noticing him, Ray opened his left arm widely and the boy walked into the embrace without hesitation.
That was how Sharon found them, and, far from being happy about it, she felt for a few seconds that she was looking at an unholy alliance. Her two handsome sons and Ray Donovan together seemed sinister somehow and she wondered once more what she was doing. Then Ray motioned for her to join them and, shifting Kathy on to her hip, she did. Years later she would come to realise that by then the damage had already been done. But she gave herself up to the love of her new husband and her sons because she felt that she had no choice. The decision had been made and she had to fulfil her destiny, whatever that might be. One thing was for sure: there was no going back now.
Book Five
A man’s foes shall be they of his own household.
Matthew 10:36
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Nine
2012
‘Sixteen years! Who would have thought it?’
Sharon laughed at the incredulity in her friend’s voice. Gerry Dornan had not aged well; her lifestyle had taken its toll and she looked what she was: a good-time girl. She had systematically worked her way through every Face or wannabe-Face in London but she had never found the happiness she hoped she would. Gerry’s trouble was she thought that everyone she met had the same capacity for loving that she had. The repercussions she was confronted with when the people she took up with were liars and thieves never occurred to her – she believed every word they said and then she was disappointed. It was always the same: she gave them her heart overnight and the passion was gone as quickly as it had arrived. Reggie had once said to Sharon that his sister was in love with the idea of being in love. Sharon had a feeling that he was right. She wished, in some ways, the same could be said for her.
She had spent the last years living a complete and utter lie. Nothing had been the same since the wedding; the fears she’d tried so hard to ignore had only multiplied. Oh, she loved Ray, especially when he was making love to her. That would never change – he was the only man to ever ring her bells. But it was their day-to-day existence that frightened her with her husband. Because she didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him. She had come to terms with the fact that he took a flier now and again these days. But then she wasn’t exactly in the first flush of youth and she was well aware that men like Ray had women throwing themselves at him all the time. He seemed to have a penchant for young blondes – he always liked the fair-haired women. She supposed it was because he was so dark himself – dark-skinned, dark-eyed and dark-haired, though his lovely, thick hair was streaked with grey these days. But, wouldn’t you know it, it just made him look more distinguished. Sod’s law, she supposed.
As for Sharon, she was rattling around in her big house – there was plenty to keep her busy. At weekends she cooked for the family and they sat and ate together as usual. She still washed their clothes and ironed for them all. She knew that even Ray felt she should have a hobby or something, but she wasn’t sure there was anything she really wanted to do. She couldn’t see herself going to flower-arranging classes or learning French, it just all seemed pretty pointless to her. She was knocking on fifty, her sons were grown men now, and her daughter was nearly eighteen. She didn’t think she was going to stagnate just because she no longer had them to look after c
onstantly.
‘Why don’t you come out with me one night? Have a girlie one, Sharon?’
Sharon was laughing, imagining Ray’s face if she told him she was going clubbing. She said as much to Gerry and when Gerry didn’t laugh with her, Sharon understood that it actually wasn’t funny at all. She rarely went out without Ray, and that was something that had just occurred to her.
‘Do you know what, Gerry? Let’s do it.’
Gerry was grinning now as she said saucily, ‘Might find yourself a bloke!’
Sharon flapped her hand in embarrassment and said sadly, ‘Who would fucking want me at my age?’
Gerry shook her head as she answered her seriously, ‘You would be surprised, girl. It’s a different world out there now and women have as much right as men to do what they want.’
Sharon had moved from Lenny straight to Ray and she had never really ‘gone out’ as such. She had been in a relationship since she was thirteen years old. It was a sobering thought.
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty
Chrissie Jennings was twenty-two and built like a Playboy model. Although she was not the most intelligent girl that had ever walked the earth, she possessed a shrewdness that belied her years, and she saw herself and Ray Donovan as the lovers of the century. She liked his foreign good looks and his big cock; and it was big, there was no doubting that. He was hung like a fucking horse and she was relishing that fact.
She climbed off him and lay beside him, happy that she had given him the fuck of a lifetime. She knew exactly how to fuck; it was second nature to her. Great sex was what would get her what she wanted. It didn’t occur to her that the women men fantasised about and the women they married were two different things. She was, after all, as thick as paint.
Ray lit a joint and toked on it deeply. Now he had fucked Chrissie she held no real interest for him any more.
Chrissie snuggled into him and did her usual little-girl laugh and baby talk as she said happily, ‘That was the best ever!’
Ray extricated himself from her arms expertly as he said, ‘I’m sure you have said that on more than one occasion, Chrissie. But it won’t wash with me, sweetheart.’
Chrissie might not have been the Brain of Britain but she knew when she was being mugged off. After all, this would not be the first time she had been unceremoniously dumped by a man she was fucking. She stood up, naked and sure of her allure. She did have a killer body – no one could dispute that – and she knew how to use it as well.
‘You can’t treat me like shit!’
Ray Donovan laughed then – a real, genuine laugh at her antics.
‘Oh, but I can, Chrissie. You are just a fuck – a good fuck, I’ll give you that – but that is it, lady. I have a beautiful wife and I will never leave her for a skank like you.’
Chrissie could hear the viciousness in his voice now and she was hurt. She really thought this was it for her. She believed she had hit the jackpot.
‘You can’t talk to me like this! I love you, Ray.’
He grabbed her arms as she went to fight him, and pinned her to the bed.
‘I think I’m pregnant, Ray. You have to look after me now.’
Ray registered her words, but he could not believe what he was hearing. Was she really that fucking stupid? Chrissie thought he was going to fuck her again and tell her what she wanted to hear. Instead he put his face close to hers and said nastily, ‘I would not love you or allow you to have my child if you were the last fucking female on earth, Chrissie. You are a fuck, pure and simple. My wife is getting on a bit, I admit that, but she is worth a million of you. You’re a whore, and that is all you will ever be to me or any man you take up with. Get over it.’
Chrissie knew then that she had lost not just the battle but the whole war. ‘Get out.’
Ray Donovan held her down and fucked her once again before he got up and, as he dressed, he said quietly, ‘I will go. No man in his right mind would even consider you as a mate of any kind. You were born to be a mistress, darling.’
Chrissie had been putting it about since she was sixteen years old, and this was not the first time a married man had said as much to her. She felt an enormous anger welling up inside her and she shouted, ‘Well, let’s see how your precious wife feels when I tell her what we have been up to the last few months, shall we?’
That was when the beating started, which was what she liked, if she was honest – at least it proved they cared. But when he grabbed her throat and started to squeeze, it dawned on her that she had picked on the wrong man this time.
Ray choked her to death. When he realised what he had done, he was annoyed with himself. This was the last thing he needed right now. He rang Elton – he would sort out what needed doing. Ray knew that he needed to calm himself down. It wasn’t the first time this had happened – he should have been prepared for the girl’s threats. At the end of the day, that is all they were – girls. Sharon was the love of his life, his wife, and, as such, she would be afforded respect. Even by the women he fucked. What kind of husband would he be if he allowed them to bad-mouth the mother of his daughter? He fucked them but they were never going to be contenders to Sharon’s crown. What made them think they ever could be?
He smiled as he waited for Elton Mills to arrive; he was good, was Elton. He always made everything go away. Ray was relying on him more and more.
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-One
Elton Mills had been in bed with his girlfriend, a good-looking Jamaican girl called Abigail, when the phone rang. She was stunning, with big brown eyes and a shaved head. She really embraced the African look – it suited her and she knew it. She believed that Elton Mills was going places so, when he took the call, she was sensible enough to smile and act like she thought it was perfectly normal for a man to leave her halfway through making love to her.
‘I need to leave, baby.’
She kissed him deeply, using her tongue to its best advantage. ‘Come back soon. I will be waiting for you, baby boy.’
He knew she meant every word, well aware that she was after the main chance, but he did not say that, of course. Instead he got dressed and left as quickly as humanly possible.
Ray was starting to bother him. He respected the man – in truth, he was the reason he had such a fabulous life. Elton was his number two and everyone knew that. But lately, Ray had been like a loose cannon. Now he had taken out that silly Chrissie. She was a fucking prat, but she was only twenty-two and had been used by everyone in their orbit, so her disappearance would be noticed by all and sundry. It wasn’t as though Ray had hid his relationship with her either; he was pretty fucking blatant. Elton wondered if he wanted Sharon to find out, if he was trying to get some kind of reaction from her. That was just speculation, of course.
One thing Elton knew for sure was that Ray worshipped his wife and his infatuation with younger women was nothing in the grand scheme of things. Now Elton had to take the girl and make her body disappear into thin air, and that was really not what he wanted to be doing.
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Two
Sharon couldn’t sleep but that was nothing unusual. She had not slept an entire night since her wedding to Ray all those years ago. Her sons were both now firmly embedded in the Life, and that broke her heart every bit as much as it pleased them. They were both thrilled to death to be villains, and what could she do? They had been determined and Ray, whatever he tried to pretend otherwise, had encouraged them to follow his example. He saw their rise in that world as a reflection upon himself. It was only young Kathy that he wanted to stay outside the Life – should she ever embrace it, it would kill him. Ray wanted his daughter to be a doctor or a scientist. It did not occur to him that, for all her expensive education, she wasn’t academic in any way, shape or form. She was a nice, normal girl, who didn’t see herself as some kind of fucking intellectual needing to prove herself every second of the day. But that was how Ray treated her. Sharon was aware that it worried her lovely daughter. Kath
y simply wanted to please the people around her. She was seventeen and she was still finding her feet. Why did Ray need her to act like she was only put on this earth to please him?
She heard young Lenny come into the room and she forced herself to face him, but she’d had a large glass of wine and she could feel the animosity coming off him. He hated that she needed a few drinks to get her through the day, but who the fuck was he to tell her how to live her life? He was Ray’s son now, and they both knew that.
‘Where’s Kathy?’ His voice was clipped and she could tell he was angry at her. He saw her as just someone who wanted to drink and nothing else.
‘She is staying at her mate’s. Was she supposed to ask your permission?’ She was angry and it came across in her tone.
She watched young Lenny look her over and find her wanting. It was a deliberate rebuke and she had seen it many times before. Oh, he was Ray’s boy now, there was no doubt about that.
‘Can I help you, son?’ Her sarcasm was evident.
‘Who is she staying with?’
His lack of respect for her was hard to live with. Even her own mother had told her that he needed a right-hander, but what would it achieve?
‘Who the fuck do you think? Where does she usually stay, Len? At Maria’s. Maria, the girl she has been friends with for years. Going to check up on her, are we?’
It would not be the first time. Kathy had been in high dudgeon when he had turned up there before. In fact she had been livid. And she’d had every right to be; after all, Sharon trusted her, so why couldn’t her father and her brothers? If she didn’t look out for her daughter, the girl would be on lock-down.
‘Are you going out or not, Len?’