by Martina Cole
She dismissed him, unable to bear the antagonism between them. It broke her heart, because she loved her sons, whatever they might think of her. They were more Ray’s boys now than they had ever been hers.
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Three
Kathy was at her friend’s house and she was laughing her head off when Maria’s mum knocked on the bedroom door and said that her brother was downstairs wanting to talk to her.
Maria rolled her eyes in exasperation as her friend left the room to put her brother’s mind at rest. She knew that Kathy expected nothing different from her family, but she felt that if her brothers were so fucking insistent on knowing her whereabouts it would drive her insane. Her own brothers were normal – i.e. they had no real interest in her. That was how it should be, surely?
Kathy went out into the front garden so they would not be overheard and, looking at her older brother, she said in exasperation, ‘Why do you do this, Len?’
Lenny felt bad but he knew that he had to look out for this girl; she was completely naive where men were concerned. Ray thought she was a fucking brainbox but Lenny knew the truth. She’d only ever been an average student at best. She needed looking after, whether she agreed or not. She was his sister and he would protect her with his life if need be.
‘I’m just looking out for you, Kathy, that’s all.’
He could see the sadness in her eyes and he wished he could tell her something different. But then he would be a liar.
He tried to justify himself as he said, ‘Be fair, Kathy. Mum drinks a lot and she can’t always be trusted to say what is actually going on, can she?’
Kathy didn’t even bother to answer; she just turned away and walked back into the house, closing the front door firmly behind her. She had been there and done that, and it was getting boring as far as she was concerned. Her brothers were a pain in the arse. As she went back up the stairs to where her friend was waiting, she wondered when she would ever be free of them. It was like being in prison.
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Four
Jack Johnson was watching his daughter pouring him his nightly Scotch. She looked out for him, even though he had been an absent father at best. He was getting on, but he still had Reggie onside and he would always be his trump card, because what Ray had never allowed for was Reggie’s determination.
He smiled at his daughter. She was a good girl, if not the prettiest woman he had ever seen – unfortunately she looked too much like him. That was a shame, as her mother had been beautiful in her day. Jack regretted how he had treated her mother. In his own way, he had loved her very much, but the Life had taken him over as it had so many men. Hindsight was a wonderful fucking thing.
He waited with bated breath for Reggie to arrive; he knew that he did not have long for this world, but before he went, he would fuck up that cunt Ray Donovan. He was determined to do it. He had swallowed his knob over and over again because he’d had no choice in the matter, but he was on his last legs now and that meant he had fuck-all to lose. How good that felt. He had the knowledge that could ruin that cunt’s whole life and he was now willing to use it, no matter who it hurt. He had sussed Ray out from the first and he had kept his own counsel. Now he was dying, he felt it was his duty to put the cat among the pigeons. That was all he could do really. After all, he had always been a man who left his mark. Why should he change the habit of a lifetime?
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Five
Elton Mills looked at the dead girl in front of him and sighed heavily. ‘You must learn to control your temper, Ray. This isn’t good for business.’
Ray smiled that easy smile of his and said seriously, ‘As soon as they threaten to talk to the wife, I lose my temper. Be fair, Elton – I never proposed marriage.’
Elton could see his point, but he also knew that Ray Donovan was getting out of control. This was not good sense; whatever Chrissie was, she was well liked, especially by the men who had fucked her, and they were legion. Elton shook his head, his anger at his friend more than apparent.
‘This is the last time, Ray. You fuck up again, you can fucking sort it – and I mean that.’
He felt the animosity coming from Ray Donovan in waves but he didn’t care any more. This had gone too far. Ray was a loose cannon.
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Six
‘You OK, Sharon?’
Ray was watching his wife closely. He could see she was pissed but he overlooked it. After the night he’d had, he could hardly say a word.
‘I’m fine, Ray. You all right?’
She was giving nothing away. Sometime in the past sixteen years she had found out that he wasn’t kosher, that he was a fucking liar and a fucking fraud. It had made him sad because he really did love her, but she hadn’t been the person he had expected. She always felt she had to be his moral compass. He wanted a wife, not a fucking judge. It had driven a wedge between them.
‘I have never been better, darling.’
With his eyes on her, she felt the pull of him, of his sexuality. No matter how bad she might feel, she would always want him like that. Even though he took his fliers she knew they meant nothing to him. Ray was a man who would never love lightly – and one thing she knew for sure was that he loved her with a vengeance. That was the most frightening thing as far as she was concerned.
‘Glad to hear it, darling.’
He could hear the sarcasm in her voice and he hated himself for making her feel so bad about herself. But she was no longer the girl he had met or married. She had aged. Women could never age like a man – he looked better as he had got older, whereas she was battered round the edges. She had lost that firmness he had so enjoyed, and when they made love, it wasn’t the same. He wanted a younger woman, but that did not mean he didn’t love her with all his heart – of course he did. He just didn’t want to fuck her any more.
Chrissie came into his mind. She was another one who thought that he would actually leave his Sharon, the mother of his child, to be with someone like her. It was laughable.
He pulled Sharon into his arms and tried to hold her to him but she wriggled away. Laughing, she said, ‘I’m not sure that Chrissie would like this. She is your latest, isn’t she? And from what I’ve heard you are leaving me for her. She is pregnant. Really, Ray, another child, at your fucking age? Congratulations.’
Ray felt the first tingle of fear. If Sharon knew then it must have been common knowledge. He could see the hurt and the anger in his wife’s face.
‘Please, Sharon, you have to believe me. There is no one in my life but you, darling.’
Sharon Donovan used all her strength to push her husband away from her as she bellowed, ‘Fuck you, Ray Donovan. Fuck you to hell! You have fucked everyone else and pretended that I didn’t know! Have you no fucking respect for me? Pregnant? Are you fucking sure?’
Ray had never loved her more than at this moment. She looked like an Amazon warrior. This was the woman he had fallen in love with.
He grabbed her hands and shouted back angrily, ‘I know this much, lady: you need to remember that I am your husband and I fucking love you more than you know.’
Sharon pulled her hands from his and said quietly, ‘You didn’t answer my question, Ray.’
They stood there like antagonists, both trying to stare the other out. She was aware that Ray was stronger than her in these situations, but she was determined not to back down. She had always backed down; all her married life she had moved away from what had been a worry.
‘You are, and will always be, the love of my life, Sharon.’
She laughed with complete disgust, and he was more than aware of what she was really thinking.
‘Fuck you, Ray. Fuck you and your little girls. If I am too old for you, don’t you think you might be too old for them? And this new baby. Are you going to tell Kathy or shall I?’
‘There is no fucking baby, Sharon. Take that from me.’
She could hear the fear in his voice and it hurt becaus
e she knew that he was more worried about Kathy’s reaction to his adultery than he was about hers. But that was him all over. The Big fucking I Am. He acted the big man to his daughter but Sharon knew that Kathy was not as gullible as her husband believed.
‘That’s not what I heard. That skank has been broadcasting it to all and sundry. So I say again, Ray – congratulations. Now get the fuck out of my house.’
Ray laughed and, grabbing his wife by the neck, he said angrily, ‘I think you will find that this is my house, darling. If there is any throwing out to do I will be the one doing it.’
‘Oh, really? So I have no say at all then, Ray? No say over the house I have taken care of for years, the home that I made for you. That means nothing? Is that what you are telling me?’
Ray was so angry he looked like the Antichrist and he was screaming at the top of his voice as he said viciously, ‘You, Sharon, may be my wife but I tell you now, you will get fuck-all from me. It’s benefits for you, lady. You will not fucking ever get the better of me. Never forget that. I will never let you go. You are my fucking wife! I gave you my name.’
He was so angry, Sharon knew then that if she was ever going to go it had to be now. This was the man who professed his love for her day and night – yet he was quite happy to threaten her like this.
Sharon shrugged as if what he said had not broken her heart. ‘If I go, Ray, think on this: your daughter will come with me, even if it is to a bedsit. She is my baby, no matter how much you tried to make her yours. You took my sons, but I didn’t understand you then. I still trusted you. More fucking fool me, eh?’
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Seven
Reggie was waiting for Ray in a little spieler in Canning Town. It was a dive but it was safe and it was filled with Faces of one sort or another. Elton was getting them drinks at the bar, and Reggie wondered what this meet was about. This was neutral ground so it couldn’t be about work in general; that was all dealt with at the breakers yard.
Ray finally arrived and, after ten minutes of being hailed by the clientele, he finally got to sit with them at the table. Reggie waited for him to settle down and tell them what was on his mind. He knew Ray well enough by now to know that he would not say anything until he was good and ready. They made small talk, and asked after each other’s respective lives – not that any of them were really interested in the answers. This was just getting the preliminaries out of the way.
The bar stank of cheap aftershave and lager. Reggie loathed the place but he knew it was Ray’s choice so he was lumbered with it. Ray knew how much he disliked the dive and Reggie guessed that was why it had been the chosen venue for whatever was going on.
Eventually Ray said seriously, ‘This is about Jack Johnson.’
Reggie nodded. There was no way he was going to commit himself to anything until he had heard the whole story. He wasn’t a fool and he knew as well as Jack did that the man’s days were numbered. Jack was old and frail now, but he was still a powerful Face and he had much respect from everyone in the Life. Even Ray knew that no one would countenance Jack disappearing as so many others had done. Jack Johnson was an institution and, more than that, he was well liked.
‘It’s hard to say this, Reggie, but we think it’s time Jack stepped down.’
Reggie looked from Ray to Elton Mills, who at least had the grace to appear a little bit ashamed. Jack had never liked Elton but he had afforded him the respect; that meant a lot to Elton who, in his own way, looked up to the likes of Jack Johnson. Jack was one of the last of the old guard. He had known all the Faces from Jack ‘Spot’ Comer right through the card.
What Reggie didn’t like was the ‘we’ part of what was said. The ‘we’ meant Ray and Elton, and it was another fucking way of saying he was being gradually rowed out. He had seen this was coming – he wasn’t a fool.
‘So you think that Jack will just retire, do you?’
The sarcasm was not lost on either of the men and he looked at them both with open hostility. It was a fucking diabolical liberty to spring this on him like this, especially as they had clearly already discussed it between them and made up their fucking minds. All they wanted was for him to go along with their plan and probably do the fucking shit work – like mentioning it to the man he looked on almost like a father.
Ray Donovan held a hand up in a gesture of peace. ‘Hey, come on, Reg. You know this makes sense. He’s nearly fucking eighty, for fuck’s sake. Let him spend his last years with his old cronies. He is about as much use as a fucking pork chop in a mosque. Barton agrees with us about that.’
Reggie felt a real anger now, a white-hot fury that seemed to be consuming him. ‘So, even Barton has been brought in on these talks about Jack, has he? How about young Lenny and Liam? They in on this too?’
Ray realised he had just put his big foot in it and he would have to try to placate Reggie as best he could. But Reggie was determined to have his say.
‘I’m amazed that you have discussed this outside the firm, even with fucking Barton! Jack Johnson always said keep your fucking trap shut – only talk to those in your know. I wasn’t aware that Barton was on our fucking payroll.’
‘Look, listen to me, Reggie . . .’ Ray was getting angry himself now but he was still trying to talk Reggie round as best he could. He needed him onside and he knew that Reggie was as aware of that fact as he was.
Reggie stood up and, looking at Ray like he was a piece of shit, he said, loudly enough to be heard by the other people in the small bar area, ‘No, Ray. You fucking listen to me for once. You are making a big mistake because Jack might be nearly eighty, but he ain’t a cunt. My advice to you would be to remember that.’
He left them then. He was so angry he felt capable of anything. He was burning up inside with it. Ray had his rep, but Reggie wasn’t exactly a fucking moron where the criminal underworld was concerned. He had his own fucking creds, and Ray Donovan needed to remember that. Reggie was shaking with anger as he got into his Mercedes and he was still seething when he arrived at Jack’s house. Jack needed to hear about this, sooner rather than later.
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Eight
Kathy Donovan was lying in bed with her father’s good friend Barton. Both were well aware that there would be murders – literally – if this ever came out.
Barton, who loved youth and enjoyed the chase, was in a quandary. He had taken this girl and then he had made the mistake of letting it go too far; now she was in love with him. He didn’t know how to tell her that good sex did not constitute love in any way. She wasn’t like the usual girls he took into his bed; she was the daughter of his close friend and known fucking lunatic Ray Donovan. This was going to explode in his face at some point and, as hard as he was, Barton knew he was no match for Ray – especially not the Ray who would see his friend’s death as a natural consequence of him having taken his daughter’s virginity. Not that she’d needed much persuading.
He sighed in exasperation. She was snuggled into him and, as he looked down at her perfect skin and her beautiful blue eyes, he wondered how the fuck he was going to out her from his life with as little fuss as possible. She was all woman on the outside, but inside she was still a little kid. Sometimes her incessant chattering made him want to lamp her one; she talked utter shite and she assumed he was as interested in celebrities and fucking bands as she was. Once again he asked himself, what the fuck had possessed him? But he knew what had happened. He thrived on the dangerous and the illicit – it was what excited him, and this young woman, with a killer body, had the added attraction of being his best friend’s daughter. The daughter, no less, of one of the most feared men in London.
Now she was in love with him, and he had to try and extricate himself as best he could. But she was a clinger and, like most girls in love for the first time, she would turn on him if he didn’t handle it properly.
Kathy Donovan, for her part, was happier than she had ever been before in her life. Kathy, who wasn’t the most academic of
people, had discovered sex. Pure, deep, down-and-dirty sex. She believed that her attraction to this huge, handsome, black he was love, and she was deluded enough to think that he felt the same way. She fantasised about them getting married and living in a nice house somewhere. It didn’t occur to her that the fact he was a married man already and her father’s best friend to boot could be a problem. After all, her father had always given her what she wanted. Her mum said she was a spoiled little princess and Kathy took that as a compliment. Why shouldn’t she get what she wanted? It also didn’t occur to her that this might be the one time her father would not humour her and let her have her wish granted. She had not only inherited her father’s beautiful, thick, Turkish hair, she had also inherited his stubbornness.
She stretched like the cat that got the cream and Barton felt himself hardening again. As her mouth clamped on to his, he knew that he had to finish this and finish it soon. But Christ Himself knew this felt fucking good.
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Nine
Young Lenny and Liam were in Romford picking up loans. They were both big lads; Lenny was his father’s double whereas Liam had more of his mother in him. The one thing the two boys shared was that they were both completely ruthless. Ray Donovan had seen to that and he was proud of them.
As they walked through the market they were chatting amiably, aware that people were looking at them, that people knew who they were. There was a blonde girl on one of the clothes stalls, Emma Nuttall, that Liam liked so they made their way over to her and, as always, he gave her one of his winning smiles. Today, though, there was no answering smile. She looked away and pretended to be sorting through the clothes on the rails all around her.