“I’ll put on some coffee,” Celia started.
“No, you need to get to bed,” Nate said.
“He’s right. I’ll get the coffee on,” Emma said.
“Come on, Nate. Take me to bed,” Celia said, her eyes on the younger couple.
Nate nodded, but turned to Luke. “Don’t hurt her,” he said.
“I don’t plan on it,” Luke answered.
They stared at each other for some time before Celia’s nudge turned into tugging and Nate and Celia retreated to their bedroom.
Luke turned to Emma.
“I’ll make that coffee.” She dropped her eyes to his hand that was still wrapped around her arm.
He let her go, his expression letting her know he didn’t realize he still held it. Luke followed her to the kitchen and watched while she made an ice pack and handed it to him.
“You look like shit, Luke,” she said.
“I’ve been better,” he said, sitting at the table while she made coffee.
She leaned against the counter and folded her arms across her chest, waiting for him to speak.
“Come here, Emma. Sit down.”
“I don’t understand, Luke. I don’t understand you,” she began, ignoring his request. “I don’t even know what to say.” She shook her head and turned to get two mugs. Filling them with coffee, she brought them to the table and sat down across from him. “What do you want from me?”
It took him a few moments to speak. “I think you’re the bravest person I know, Emma.” He picked up his cup.
She stared at him. What was she supposed to say to that? She picked up her cup and sipped, then set it down. “I’m not brave, Luke. I’m just tired of running away from everything.”
His eyes were rimmed red and the spot Nate had hit was going to leave a nasty mark.
“Me, too,” he said.
“Put the ice pack on your jaw, Luke.”
He picked up the bag and pressed it against his face.
He looked different tonight. He wasn’t the same man she’d seen that night at the party, the self-assured, elegant, English Dom. He was a little more insecure, a little on edge, and unsure. His body language gave it away and as much as she wanted to just take him into her arms, she needed to protect her own heart.
“My mother took me away from my dad when I was ten,” he began, his eyes steady on hers.
She tilted her head, not following.
“To the world, we were the perfect family. My parents looked like the couple who had it all.” He looked just beyond her, his eyes not quite focused. “But we weren’t that behind closed doors. He used to beat her, often in front of me. I never knew any better, I just knew that I was scared of him, that was all. He didn’t start on me until I was ten.”
“Oh God…”
He continued as if he hadn’t heard her speak at all. “My aunt, Evelyn, helped my mom and me to get away from him. We ran away. That was the first time I ran and it’s become a habit that’s stuck, it seems,” he said, his eyes focusing on hers, trying to make the comment lighter than it was. “We took on new identities and lived in hiding for that first year. My mom was always scared, terrified he’d find us and if he did, she knew he’d kill us. Or at least he’d kill her.”
“Luke…” she said.
“That’s why I took the Roark name. I didn’t want to have anything to do with my biological father. Keenan Roark was the only father I cared to remember.”
Emma watched, her hands on her lap. They were shaking too much to hold on to the hot coffee.
“When Evelyn called that night, she was telling me my father was dying. She wanted me to come make peace with him. To forgive him.”
“Luke…”
He put a hand up to stop her. “I went.” He broke eye contact and looked away. He squeezed his eyes shut, then forced his attention back to her. “When I saw him,” now his voice cracked and it took him a moment to continue, “when I saw him, I didn’t remember him. I didn’t feel anything for him, not pity, not hate, surely not love. He was just an old man, a stranger. He cried when he saw me,” he said, meeting her eyes again. “And I didn’t feel a damn thing.”
“Oh, Luke,” she said, rising to her feet and taking the few steps to him. She picked up his hands and he rose to his feet, allowing her to wrap her arms around his shoulders. “It’s ok, Luke,” she said into his chest, pulling his head to her shoulder. “It’s ok.”
His body shook and she held him. This man who was the most powerful man she’d ever met now shuddered in her arms. “It’s ok.”
He pulled back and turned away, running an arm across his face. “Emma, I’ve only ever walked away from everything I’ve known. I’m alone and there’s a reason for that. Louisa and my stepbrothers are the only ones who’ve managed to stick around. I’m not good, Emma. I hurt people, I’m cold, I don’t have the capacity to…”
“Shhh,” she said, this time allowing him to take her in his strong embrace. “Sometimes walking away is our only option,” she said. She turned her face up to his and put her hand on his cheek. “It’s what we have to do to survive. I understand that, Luke. I know it. But you’re here now. And I’m here.”
“You’re the only person to ever make me want to show myself. You were wrong the other night. When you said I didn’t trust you, you were wrong. I do trust you and my feelings for you are different from anything I’ve ever felt and that scares the hell out of me. But I don’t want to run, Emma. I want to stay. With you. I want to stay with you and try, but I’m scared I’m going to hurt you.”
“It’s too late for that, Luke. I can’t change how I feel about you and I can’t walk away.” Tears slipped from her eyes.
He wiped them away with his thumbs. “Emma,” he said, taking her face into his hands and tilting it upward. His mouth closed over hers, kissing her as if for the first time, hungry and full of need.
She twined her fingers into his hair and held him to her, needing him just as he was, hurt and a little broken, but more whole than any man she’d ever known.
Epilogue
Emma checked her watch. Luke would be downstairs in less than ten minutes and she’d just barely have time to dress and apply a little bit of makeup. She zipped up her skinny jeans and slid into a pair of high, sling-back pink pumps. Wearing the quarter cup bra he’d given her during their first weekend together, she slid a silky dark rose-colored blouse over her head. Her nipples stood prominently out and it made her smile. She’d never realized how sensitive they were until she’d met Luke. He could almost make her come just by paying a little extra attention them.
Nate Jr.’s quiet cry cut into the night. Emma smiled. He must have woken from his nap and was likely hungry. He’d come home after spending four weeks in the hospital. Having a baby in her arms and in the house was invigorating and exhausting at the same time. Emma had kept her room with Celia and Nate for another six months, using the fact that she was a live-in babysitter as an excuse to hold her nephew any time Celia put him down. He was a sweet baby who hardly cried and he looked more and more like her brother every day. It was strange to see and although she thought of her own lost baby at first, having Nate Jr. around actually helped her come to terms with what had happened. She even began the slow process of forgiving herself.
“Emma,” Celia called out.
“Be right down,” Emma answered. He was early. It was just like him. Taking her powder case, she brushed some over her face. Only mascara and lip gloss tonight. It was her birthday and he claimed to have special plans for her tonight.
Over the last few months, they’d seen each other almost every day. After that night in the kitchen, there was a whole other level of trust between them and she felt closer to him than she’d ever felt to anyone in her life. She’d started back at school and if she went full time, she’d be finished in less than a year and a half. Luke had been hinting at having her move in with him, but she was scared. She liked things as they were. She felt like she was relaxing for th
e first time since her parents had died. As much as she was ready for the relationship to go to the next step, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to take the chance that it would go the wrong way.
“You look amazing.”
She looked up to find Luke standing in the doorway wearing a suit.
“Thanks,” she said, eyeing his more formal dress. “Should I wear something different?”
“Nope,” he said, moving in and taking her into his arms. His mouth closed over hers and he kept her hands in his.
She moaned against his kiss, her body softening into his hard chest.
“Come,” he said. “Let’s get to dinner.”
“I’d rather just go back to your place,” she said, reaching up for another kiss.
“Louisa isn’t here and neither of us can cook,” he said, leading her out the door. “Besides, I want to talk and I know we won’t be talking if we’re at my place.”
She flushed pink, but knew he was right.
Over the last months, she’d become very comfortable in her role as submissive. They’d done things that she’d never even imagined and he’d even taken her to Exhale, his brother’s BDSM club. The things she’d seen there blew her mind, but he’d always been very protective of her, not wanting to play out scenes anywhere but at home. She didn’t mind that. In fact, she found she felt closer to him for it. She was his and she liked the idea very much.
They drove to the restaurant, a very trendy sushi place they both loved. They sat down and Luke ordered. Once they had their drinks, Luke turned to her and took her hands.
“Emma,” he began.
Emma’s smile faded. The look in his eyes told her what was coming was going to be serious.
“The last few months have been the happiest of my life.”
She could only stare, knowing where this was leading.
“I want to take things further with you. With us. I’ve never wanted to be with a woman like I want to be with you. I’ve never felt more sure of anyone or anything. I’ve heard your reasons for not wanting to take the next step, but quite frankly, they don’t hold water anymore.”
“What if you’re wrong?” she asked, letting go of his hand and picking up her Sapporo. She took a long sip before turning back to him. “I’ll be really honest with you, Luke. I feel the same way as you. I’ve never been happier and can’t imagine myself with anyone else…”
“Then just say yes.”
“I’m scared!” she said, louder than she’d intended.
The waitress came by just then and, as if oblivious to their conversation, set down plates of sushi. “Would you two like another round of drinks?”
“No, thank you,” Luke said, never taking his eyes off Emma.
“All right then, enjoy your dinner.” With that, she left.
“I’m not ever going to hurt you again, Emma. I promise you that. Christ, all I can think about is you. When we’re not together, I’m waiting until I can see you again. I want to wake up with you every morning and go to bed with you every night. I want to read the paper on a lazy Sunday with you. I want to hold your hand when you’re sad or scared, I want…God, I just want you. You don’t have to be afraid with me. I will take care of you for always. I promise you that, Emma. I love you.”
She stared at him, noting the slight change in his color as he said those words. She’d muttered them before, but hadn’t spoken those three little words again in the last half year. She did love him; that was certain. And everything he felt, she felt too. She couldn’t imagine hurting him and knew he wouldn’t hurt her. Not on purpose, anyway.
“I love you, Luke,” she said softly even while her brain processed his proposition. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was time to swallow her fear and take that next step. She was twenty-five years old now, old enough and wise enough to do this. “Okay,” she said.
“Okay?” he repeated her word as a question, laughing a nervous laugh.
“Okay. Yes, okay, I’ll move in with you. You’re right, I trust you, I know you. It’s time we took it to the next level.” She picked up her beer and he took his. “Here’s to moving in together,” she said.
He looked at her as if he couldn’t believe his ears. She had to laugh at his expression, this soft side of him that he only showed to her and Louisa.
“I’m starving, let’s eat.”
“Yes, I’m not sure how much longer I can hold off giving you your birthday spanking.”
She had just shoved a large bite of sushi into her mouth and almost choked on it. Luke rubbed her back and laughed.
“You didn’t expect a birthday spanking? Come on, Em, you know me better than that.”
She chewed and swallowed, her eyes watery.
He smiled at her casually and, with much more elegance than she, used the chopsticks to place a bite of food into his mouth. They were out of the restaurant and speeding home within ten minutes.
* * *
Luke locked the apartment door and tossed his jacket on a chair.
“I’ll be right back, wait here,” he said, walking into the bedroom and returning a few minutes later. He took his time to roll up his sleeves. He imagined she’d be creaming her panties now. Spankings were Emma’s “on” button and he knew to draw out the ceremony, make her anticipate as he himself anticipated.
“Come here,” he said, settling on the couch. His cock was already hard with the thought of what he was going to do to her tonight.
Emma stood before him. He ran his eyes over the length of her. He held out her birthday present, a black box tied with dark red ribbon. Emma smiled and took it from him.
“Happy birthday,” he said.
She pulled on the ribbon and let it drop to the floor, recognizing the high-end shop’s logo.
“Only you, Luke,” she said, smiling as she took the lid off the box. She peeled away layers of tissue paper before she came to the object.
“It’s solid brass coated in 24k gold,” he said, taking the box so she could lift the item out. He was very proud of himself. “I have a few more things for you, but we’ll get to those later.”
“It’s beautiful,” she said, feeling the weight of it, taking in the smooth, shiny surface, the jeweled bulb. “I’ve never been given a butt plug for my birthday before.” She looked at him and smiled.
“Do you like it?”
“Very much, thank you,” she said, leaning over to kiss him full on the mouth.
Luke took the plug from her hands as she straightened.
“Take off your blouse.”
She pulled it over her head and tossed it aside. She stood with her back straight, her breasts thrust forward, lifted by the stiff shelf bra. He loved that bra. It made her breasts, which weren’t big but were quite full, sit like little globes and he knew she liked the feeling it gave her.
“Take your jeans down to your knees.”
Her hands fumbled over the buttons and he knew she was anxious. He would spank her with her jeans and panties pulled down before stripping and fucking her.
Once the pants were down, she stood in black lace panties in a cut he liked. “Turn around.”
She turned to reveal the back, which was entirely of lace and accentuated the roundness of her buttocks. His cock twitched and he adjusted its position. “Take them down.”
She hooked her thumbs into the panties and, leaning forward as she did so, pulled them down to the tops of her knees where her jeans were.
“We’ll try out your gift while I spank you,” he said, taking a lubricant out of his pocket. “When I’m finished, I’m going to fuck your pussy with the plug inside you for a while and before fucking your ass. You’re not going to come until I’m buried inside it. Is that clear?”
“Yes, Sir.” Her voice came out hoarse.
“Good girl. Now, hands around your ankles.”
He remained seated as she did this, enjoying the sight of her ass as she bent over and her buttocks spread open. Once she was down, he stood and opened the jar of lubricant, his
eyes on her sexy ass while he lubed first the plug, then her asshole. She made a sound when, after circling for a while, he pressed his finger into the tight passage. Emma loved anal sex and ever since that first time, they practiced it often. She would have multiple orgasms, one on the heels of the other when he fucked her ass and he knew it would be a struggle for her not to come while he spanked, then fucked her with the plug inside.
When his fingers slid easily in and out, he brought the tip of the plug to her anus.
“It’s cold,” she said, lifting her ass a little higher.
“It will warm up in no time, I’m sure.” The plug slid in and he played just a little, teasing her as he drew the long, narrow toy out before pressing it in again. She was panting by the time he was done and he wondered if he’d have to punish her on her birthday. The thought brought a smile to his lips.
“Okay, I think you’re ready for your spanking now,” he said, helping her to straighten before he sat down again. Her face was flushed and her pupils already dilated as he pulled her across his lap, laying her so she would put her hands on the floor for support, causing her buttocks to lift high.
“You’ll count. You’ll get twenty-six strokes; twenty-five for your birthday and one for good luck.”
“Yes, Sir,” she said.
He watched her, noticing how she kept her buttocks relaxed, her legs parted. He ran his hands over her soft flesh before beginning. The first spank surprised her, as it always did. She jumped and called out “one,” and he continued to warm her buttocks before intensifying the strokes. She liked a good, thorough spanking and he could already see the moisture collecting on her pussy and the small shift in her position as she lifted her buttocks higher, offering them to him.
When he reached twelve, he stopped and pushed her legs wider. He circled a finger over the entrance of her pussy before inserting first one, then two fingers. He pumped in and out like this for several moments while she tensed her legs. He knew it would be hard for her not to come, but he enjoyed torturing her like this.
With his other hand, he pressed against the base of the plug and took his fingers from her pussy to pinch her clit.
Taming Emma Page 11