Ethan rolled down his window as he drove off. “Go find a chair and sit before you fall down.”
She shot him a quelling look even though he was probably right and headed for the reception, hoping she could manage to stay upright another hour.
****
“I really don’t feel comfortable sleeping in your room,” Haley protested, as she waited on Ethan to gather his things. She’d already grabbed her nightgown and a toothbrush and was waiting on him to leave. Not that she’d be any more comfortable with him gone. A king size bed with a dark, walnut headboard, a television screen that practically covered half a wall, a golf club and some sort of golf cup for Ethan to putt the ball into, and a drafting table in one corner, on which she could see numerous designs, made the room all but chant Ethan’s name.
“Once you lay down on that bed, you’ll be out like a light. It’s the best mattress I’ve ever had. A good night’s sleep will do you a world of good.” Ethan grabbed his toothbrush and a book, then rummaged through a drawer for a fresh t-shirt and boxers.
“I’m going to go kiss Ryan goodnight.” Haley headed for the bedroom door.
“He’s asleep. He won’t even know you’re there.”
“I’ll know. Plus I want to see him. Need to see him,” she amended.
Ethan’s gaze caught hers and held. “I don’t know how you’re still standing. Sheer stubbornness would be my guess. I’ll walk with you. I’m about ready to crash myself.”
She started down the hall, stopped and leaned over to pull off her high heels and swayed. Ethan grabbed her before she fell and lifted her into his arms. She wanted to protest, but was too tired. He walked down the hall and into her room, setting her on the floor. “Do you need anything else out of this room? I’ll get it for you while you go kiss Ryan.”
“What I need is for you to quit treating me like a child. I won’t break.”
“Obviously. But you might faint.”
She rolled her eyes as she headed into Ryan’s adjoining room to check on him. She stroked his hair, kissed his cheek, and rested her own cheek next to his for several seconds before leaving.
Ethan followed her into the hall and she whirled on him. He stepped back. “Just making sure you’re tucked in safe and don’t collapse in the hallway. How about I bring you some orange juice? It’ll raise your blood sugar.”
Her narrowed gaze softened. “Actually that would be nice,” she said.
Nodding, he headed downstairs.
Haley practically dragged herself down the hall and wilted onto the bed. Without even standing up, she slipped out of her dress and bra, and pulled a nightgown over her head. She didn’t have the energy to even get up and brush her teeth. She sat as if in a trance until she heard Ethan enter the room.
“Here you go.” He held a glass of juice in one hand and a plate with apple slices and cheese in the other. Sitting on the bed beside her, he handed her the orange juice. “Drink up. I promise I didn’t spike it.” He grinned and she couldn’t help but smile at him. He was being incredibly good to her.
“Thanks.” She took a sip, then licked her lips and drank some more before picking up a slice of apple and several wedges of cheese from the plate. “How come you’re being so nice to me?”
He arched his brows. “Because I like you and I’m worried about you.”
She took a bite of cheese. “More like because you don’t want to have to hire another nanny.”
“That too,” he said with a smile. He studied her intently. “I meant it, Haley, when I said I was your friend. This house hasn’t felt much like a home for a long time. You being here changed that.”
The hard shell she’d erected around her heart softened ever so slightly. Before this horrible week, she’d begun to think of the Richardsons as the closest thing to family she had. Lord knows, they treated her better than her own mother and father. She couldn’t believe her folks hadn’t even come to Dale’s funeral. Her dad might have been sick, but she’d bet they could have flown out here if they’d really wanted to. Her father had never once been there for her. And her mother rarely had. Loneliness engulfed her and tears gathered in her eyes. “I want you to know that I’m going to get through this and be a good nanny to Kayla. I just don’t have much to give right now.”
“Of course you don’t.” He handed her more cheese and took a piece for himself, popping it into his mouth and then taking a sip of wine.
“Where’s my wine?”
“Wine and sleeping pills don’t mix.”
She frowned. “I’ll take the wine.”
“It won’t really help you sleep, but it’s your choice.”
She studied him, felt herself wanting to lean against him and absorb some of his strength. She stiffened her spine. “Guess I’ll take the sleeping pill. She took the bottle of pills from the nightstand, shook out a pill and drank it down with the last of her juice.
Ethan took her empty glass and set it on the nightstand. Then he pulled her up from the bed, holding her steady as he yanked the covers down. He helped her settle onto his bed. Clearing his throat, he said, “Tomorrow is another day. You got through today and you’ll get through tomorrow.”
She nodded, almost believing him, and closed her heavy eyelids. “Night,” she whispered as she prayed for the pill to take effect.
He squeezed her shoulder, his warm hand lingering. “Sleep well, Haley.”
When she heard the door shut behind him, she snuggled deeper under the light weight quilt, breathing in the scent of the man who had insisted on taking care of her and Ryan all day, even though he was the man who had said the words that had ripped her life apart. She breathed in his familiar scent, comforted in a weird way. A stab of pain had her curling into a ball. Fresh tears—good Lord how could she have any more? —ran down her cheeks. Haley buried her head in the pillow and cried until she felt dried up and totally spent. As she drifted off to sleep, Ethan’s scent surrounded her even as her shattered heart yearned for Dale.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Ethan grabbed Ryan as he struggled to get off the bed. “Help me out here little buddy.” Tying the shoe strings of a struggling toddler was way worse than threading a worm onto a hook. Ethan was astonished he’d forgotten how frustrating this age could be.
Ryan stilled long enough to glare at him, and Ethan quickly finished tying the knot. Mission accomplished, thank God. “You hungry?”
“Pizza!” Ryan yelled, shoving off the bed and running as fast as his short legs could churn toward the bedroom door.
“Try eggs or oatmeal,” Ethan said as he scooped him up and carried him downstairs, where he could hear people talking. Those people better not include Haley. She needed all the rest she could get. Hopefully, she’d slept a lot better than he had. Lying in her bed, the smell of her light, flowery perfume surrounding him, did not make for a sleep-filled night. More like a fantasy-filled night.
He stepped into the kitchen. “Well, aren’t you the lazy son this morning,” Dottie said.
“Ryan and I have been awake for an hour, haven’t we?” He high-fived the toddler who slapped eagerly at Ethan’s hand. Ethan lifted him into his high chair. “How about some eggs, little buddy?”
“Aunt Jo made pancakes,” Kayla said around a huge bite of them.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Ethan ordered. “And sugar is not what this little dynamo needs.”
“Sounds like you could use some sugar, though,” Dottie said, eyeing him with a look of concern.
“I’m okay, and this tyke’s going for protein.” Ethan opened the refrigerator door and pulled out a carton of eggs. “Anyone else want a healthy breakfast?”
The entire lot shook their heads.
“How’s Haley?” Aunt Jo asked, as she flipped a couple of pancakes.
“Yesterday was pretty rough. I hope she slept like a log last night. She could probably use about a week of sleep.”
“Lucky for her I’m staying on another week and love to play with kids.” Smilin
g, Aunt Jo poured more batter onto the hot skillet.
Ethan cracked two eggs into another skillet. “I’m thinking about postponing the Disney trip for a while. Give Haley a chance to get her feet back on firmer ground and hopefully rest up. Guess I’d better check that plan out with Ashley.”
He turned the eggs. “How’s your knee coming along, Mom?”
“Good as new.” Dottie ruffled Ryan’s hair. “If I could just weasel out of physical therapy, I’d be a happy woman.”
Aunt Jo gave her sister a sympathetic smile. “Translated, that means physical therapy is as painful as you-know-what, and she can’t bend her knee without excruciating pain.”
Ethan transferred the eggs onto a plate and popped a piece of bread into the toaster. “That really sucks, Mom. I had no idea it would hurt that bad.”
Dottie shrugged. “I smartened up and started taking pain pills about forty five minutes before I go to therapy. It helps. At least a little.”
“She’s not kidding about popping those pills. I can even beat her in Scrabble these days.” Grinning, Aunt Jo placed a pancake with butter and syrup on the high chair, then cut it into little pieces.
“Enjoy it while it lasts, big sister,” Dottie said with a smirk.
Ethan glared at his aunt for giving Ryan a pancake. “I seriously don’t want him eating sugar.”
Aunt Jo sat at the table, buttered her own pancakes and dug in. “I only gave him a little one.”
Ethan joined them at the table and cut up an egg, tried to get Ryan to take a bite, but he turned away, his mouth clamped shut so tight his lips started turning blue. Ethan sighed and set down the bite of egg.
Kayla jumped up from the table and raced across the kitchen, throwing her arms around Haley as she entered the kitchen. Haley held her close for a long time before turning her loose.
“Cartoon time,” Kayla said, dashing from the room.
Ethan watched as Haley ran a hand through her tousled hair. He’d never seen a woman look so good straight out of bed. Her short cut-offs certainly didn’t hurt. He ran his gaze down her bare legs to her bright pink toenails, then jerked his gaze back to her face. “Have a seat. I’ll make you some eggs.”
She scowled at him. “I can do it.”
“Patronize me.”
“Yeah, he needs practice.” Dottie winked at Haley and patted the wooden bench next to her. Haley sat and leaned over to kiss her son. “You are a sticky mess,” she said after a quick kiss.
Ethan cracked an egg. “So how did you sleep last night?”
“I should take a sleeping pill every night.” She nodded toward Ryan. “How did my little guy sleep?”
“Good until he woke up at five thirty with a soggy diaper. As soon as I’d changed it, he clung to me like a monkey. Ended up getting in bed with me and falling back asleep on my chest.”
“He’s supposed to sleep in his own bed,” Haley chastised. She took a sip of apple juice that Aunt Jo set beside her.
“Sorry. At that point I just wanted him asleep.” Ethan scooted the cooked eggs onto a plate, added a couple of pieces of bacon and a piece of toast and handed it to her. “I may have to take a nap to get through the day,” he said. “You have my deepest admiration, Haley.”
“You are a big wuss,” Dottie said. “I had three little ones, all only two years apart. To make matters worse, I didn’t think I’d ever get you out of diapers.”
Ethan sat across from his mom and Haley. “Thank God you somehow managed. I shudder to think what my life would be like if you’d let me down on that.”
“Smart ass.”
Grinning, Ethan tipped his mug at his mom and dove into his food.
Haley finished her breakfast in silence and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Thank you. That was delicious.”
Ethan took his last bite of egg, washed it down with coffee and then focused on Haley. “You look a little less weary, but I’ve been thinking. How about we postpone the trip to Disneyland for a while? Give you time to rest up some more.” And, hopefully, warm back up to me some.
Haley glanced at Ryan who was busy playing in the syrup with both hands. “I guess Ryan won’t know the difference, but Kayla will. She’ll be pretty disappointed.”
“It’s not like we’re cancelling. She’ll adjust.” Ethan could tell Haley was thinking about it, which told him all he needed to know. “I’ll call Ashley in a few minutes and see if that would be a problem.”
“Okay.” Haley stared at her empty plate. “It might be better for Dottie, too, if we waited. That way it would be easier for her to get around at the dude ranch.”
“Good point,” Dottie said. “Plus I won’t be going to physical therapy as often in a few weeks.”
Haley stood and cleared her place, cleaned the sticky highchair and then rinsed the wet rag and wiped the syrup off of Ryan’s hands and face, making him squirm and shove at her hands. She lifted him down and set him on the floor. In a flash, he ran out of the kitchen, calling for Kayla. “Guess I’d better go make sure they stay out of trouble.”
Ethan watched her go, sighing as she disappeared around the corner. “I’m worried about her.”
“She’ll be okay. Eventually.” Dottie patted Ethan’s hand. “After all, she has us and we know what she’s going through.”
Aunt Jo sipped her coffee, a pensive look on her face. “I agree with your mother. Haley’s a strong woman. She will be fine. She just needs some time. Her husband has been gone almost two years, so when the initial shock wears off, I think we will see a big improvement.”
“I hope you ladies are right,” Ethan said.
“Me too,” Aunt Jo answered with a long sigh. “Me too.”
****
The days dragged by even though Haley was always busy. With the help of sleeping pills, she was getting enough rest, but she hated taking drugs. She was determined to start weaning herself off of the pills next week.
She was glad Ethan had postponed the Disney trip. Hopefully, by the time they left she would have pulled out of this funk. The tight band of anger she’d felt toward Ethan all these weeks was beginning to loosen its grip and she was glad. If only she could quit crying all the time, but that didn’t seem to be happening. It broke her heart that her little boy would never know his daddy. Dale had been a good man and would have been a good dad. Fresh tears gathered but she blinked them away. It was a beautiful summer morning and she was determined to enjoy it. “Hey kids, how about we go to the park while it’s still cool?”
“Yay,” they both shouted. Both of them jumped off the couch where they’d been curled up watching Dora the Explorer and headed for the door.
“Wait for me.” Haley gathered what she needed, pulled the stroller from a corner and stuffed the diaper bag in it.
“I’ll push Ryan,” Kayla volunteered eagerly.
Smiling, Haley helped Ryan in and fastened the strap, then stepped aside. “Have at it. I’m here if you need me. How about I push the stroller out to the sidewalk for you?”
“I can do it,” Kayla insisted.
Haley started toward the front door, wincing as Kayla hit the edge of a walnut coffee table. Haley took one side of the stroller’s handle. “I’ll help steer.”
Kayla scowled but didn’t say anything. The minute they were out the front door and down the steps, Kayla shoved Haley’s hand away. Haley followed the slow progress of the kids. At this rate, it would be time for lunch before they ever made it to the park, but the warm sun filtered over them, sending warmth throughout her body, and the giggling kids made her smile.
Fifteen minutes later they finally made it to the park and she helped Ryan out of the stroller as Kayla raced over to the slide. Ryan made a bee-line straight for the red, wooden train, and she lifted him into it and watched as he grabbed the steering wheel and honked the horn.
Smiling, Haley sat on a bench and enjoyed the kids, feeling halfway normal for the first time since hearing about Dale. A few minutes later, the beep of a car horn had her turn
ing her head.
Ethan got out of his truck, all smiles, and approached them.
Kayla ran toward her dad, and he picked her up, swinging her around in a circle. Ryan scrambled off the train, fell flat on his face, and howled with pain. Haley hurried over to him, lifted him up and dusted him off. “You’re okay, honey.” He cried harder as she wiped the gravel from his scraped knee and hands.
Ethan walked over and Ryan held out his arms. “Dada,” he said, and Haley’s heart stuttered. “Ethan is your friend, Ryan, not your daddy.” She regretted the words the minute they were out. After all, Ryan had never even seen his daddy except on Skype.
“He can call me anything he wants,” Ethan said, taking the boy and holding him close. “Did you get thrown from that train?”
Ryan sniffed and nodded his head. Ethan made a huge production of looking over every scratch.
Haley watched, sadness filling her. Ryan had never known what it was like to have a daddy, yet he obviously still had the need for a male figure in his life. Ethan was certainly that, but he was not her son’s father. It was all she could do not to burst into tears. Ryan reached for her and she took him eagerly, holding him close. He snuggled his head onto her breast and her spirits lifted.
“You guys hungry?” Ethan asked.
“Starving.” Kayla grabbed her dad’s hand. “I want to go to McDonalds. Pleeeeease.”
Ethan made a face. “I was thinking along the lines of real food.”
“A Happy Meal is real food,” Kayla said with a pout as she pulled away from her dad.
“How come you’re home this time of the day?” Haley asked, trying to divert Kayla from the argument she could all but see churning in the little girl’s head.
“Too nice to stay in an office. Thought I’d do some drafting at home. I have a few ideas on the house I’m going to build out on the dude ranch. I drove by and saw you guys. So,” he said, clapping his hands together. “How about Arby’s?”
Kayla kicked the dirt. Ethan grabbed her leg before she could stir up even more dust. “Behave.” Scowling, Kayla raced back out to the playground.
A Home for Haley Page 11