She held his gaze but didn’t respond. He dropped her hands and stood, feeling as if she’d just sucker-punched him. She clasped her hands together and stared down in her lap. “I care very deeply for you, but I can’t say those words yet.” She shot him a quick glance. “It’s too soon.”
“In other words, you want to have mind-blowing sex, but that’s it.”
She flinched. “I want us to be friends and get to know each other better. If I didn’t like you—a lot—I wouldn’t have sex with you. I would think you’d know that about me, so we obviously don’t know one another that well.”
“I know you well enough to know I love you. How long do you think you’ll need to know if you love me?” he asked anger and hurt dictating what he said instead of his usual composed self.
“I don’t know. I care for you, Ethan. I care a lot, but I’ve only been a widow a few months. We talked about this, and I thought you understood.”
“I thought I did too, but last night we’d just had the best sex of my life, and I was feeling pretty damn good and wanting you to know how important you were to me.”
She reached for his hand. “You are important to me, too, but I’ve come to realize that it takes a long time to really get to know someone. Dale and I dated two years before getting married and even after a two-year courtship, I didn’t know him all that well.” She shrugged, “Or maybe I just didn’t want to see some things. I’m not sure, but what I am sure about is that right now I’m trying to come to terms with losing Dale. I don’t need to be sorting things out with you too. I want your friendship, and I want to be with you like last night. Please give me time to wrap my mind around all this.”
He wanted to press her for some kind of a time-frame, but managed to clamp down on that impulse. Instead, he ran a finger down her jaw, over her lower lip. “I’ll try and be patient.”
She nodded. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”
He dropped his hand. He wouldn’t mind hearing a little encouragement, but it looked like that wasn’t in the cards. “See you downstairs,” he said and headed out of the room before he let his frustration get the better of him and said something he might regret.
****
Haley marked the last thing off her to-do list for Kayla’s party and smiled. Dropping her head forward, she rubbed the back of her tight neck, wondering what was in the refrigerator that she could snack on before heading upstairs for a bath and early bed. It had been a long busy week, and tomorrow would be a long, busy day, but she was certain Kayla would be thrilled. She hoped Ethan would be pleased with all the work she’d put into this birthday party. Knowing she wanted Ethan’s praise, caused her mood to dip. The man had been cordial to her this week, but nothing else, and that stung more than she cared to admit. She wished it didn’t.
Last night after both kids had gone to bed, Ethan had brought a glass of tea to her on the deck and stretched out on the chaise beside her with a sigh.
Tension had coiled inside her, and she hadn’t been sure if it was from worry about how he felt or from wanting him so badly. It had quickly become obvious that he was only being friendly in an effort to ease the tension they’d been dancing around all week.
Disappointment had speared through her, but she’d managed to keep her feelings hidden. At least she hoped she had. The last thing she wanted was for Ethan to think she was pining away for him. She’d told him where she stood on marriage, and she’d meant it, so pining for this man was beyond ridiculous.
She shoved out of her chair, went to the refrigerator, and pulled open the door. Taking out an apple, she washed it and cut it into quarters, then took a bite and stared out the kitchen window.
A warm hand settled on her shoulder, startling her.
“Hey,” Ethan said. “You’ve worked like a Trojan all week. What are you doing still up?”
She swallowed her bite of apple and then had to swallow again to get it to go down the rest of the way. “Just having a bedtime snack,” she answered without turning around.
He took her by the shoulders and turned her, and she felt the heat from his broad chest. She pulled in a deep breath of his scent, and her knees all but buckled. Oh how she wanted to bury her face in his chest, feel his warmth, soak in his comfort.
She stepped back and her hips hit the counter’s edge. He scowled. “You really want away from me that bad?”
“No,” she whispered. That was the last thing she wanted. She should stay away from him, though, until they both had time to get things settled in their minds, because she couldn’t think straight when he touched her. Hell, she could barely think at all, let alone think straight.
He wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her against him, stroking the back of her head and then kneading her shoulders. “Kayla will be thrilled with the party you’ve planned for her. I talked with Mom earlier and she’s got the cake done. Ashley’s plane comes in late tomorrow morning, and Matt is picking her up. Looks like we’re about ready to roll.”
In spite of her best intention to keep her distance, Haley snuggled closer, his solid warmth and gentle touch soothing her frayed nerves. How could that be when he was the one who’d set her nerves off? She should move away from him but she couldn’t. “How’s Kayla coping with her mother not coming?” she muttered into his chest.
“Okay right now. Once the party is over and we’re back home, it might be a different story.” He leaned back and hooked a finger under her chin, tilting her head up. “Thank you,” he said right before claiming her mind and body with a sizzling kiss. A kiss that melted every muscle in her. She heard herself moan. He deepened the kiss, and there was no way she could refuse him. Or herself. She’d been on edge all week, but hadn’t realized just how bad it had been until now as tension flowed out of her like warm honey.
“Be with me tonight,” he said, nuzzling her neck. “We’ll set the alarm for early and the kids will never know.”
Yearning tugged at her, spread through her like a balm, and she took his hand and led him out of the kitchen, up the stairs and into her room, where she tugged his shirt off and lost herself in making love to a man who made her melt with only a look and stole all rationale thought from her.
****
Ethan whistled as he loaded the car with everything they needed for Kayla’s big bash. And a big bash it was. He’d certainly never had a birthday party this spectacular, but Kayla was over-the-moon with excitement, and he was so grateful that Haley had done this for his daughter.
The woman was one of a kind, that’s for sure. She had taken him to her bed last night, made sweet, sensual love to him and then fallen into a deep sleep. He’d held her through most of the night, cherishing his time with her and praying it lasted.
He’d kept his distance from her all week in an effort to curb his need to be with her, and he’d been miserable. He’d do everything in his power to keep her happy, even if that meant tamping down his own needs and wants until she caught up with him. Marriage could wait. His feelings for her could not.
With that thought in mind, he headed back into the house for the last load of supplies before loading everyone up in the SUV and heading to the dude ranch.
Thirty minutes later he pulled in front of the house. His brother’s truck was already there, so that meant Ashley was here. He grinned like a kid as he turned off the ignition. Getting out of the car, he began unloading the mountain of party supplies and gifts. Kayla clamored out, Maggie right at her heals. Haley lifted a squirming Ryan from his car seat and he raced after Kayla and a yipping Maggie, his short legs churning in an effort to catch up.
Matt came out of the house and headed toward them. “About time you showed up,” he said, clapping Ethan on the back and winking at Haley. “Here, give me something to carry.” Ethan handed him an armload and Matt made a face. “Good Lord. I hate to think what her wedding’s going to be like someday.”
“You’re one to talk,” Ethan joked. “Elisa’s only six months and already queen of the house.
”
“You got that right,” Matt responded with a grin. “Hank’s getting the horses saddled. What’s this I hear about camping out?”
Haley shot Ethan a surprised look. “Camping out?” she asked.
“Under the stars. The kids will love it.”
Haley scowled and Matt grinned. “I’m with you on this, Haley. I think little brother can handle the camping part of this party on his own. Last time I went on a camp out . . .” He shuddered. “Let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty.”
“Both of you are wusses.” Shaking his head, Ethan led the way toward the barn. “How much time before the peace and quiet of my dude ranch is splintered by a zillion six-year olds?” he asked Haley.
“You have such a way of exaggerating,” Haley responded with a shake of her head. “There are only five coming, and only three staying overnight. I’m not sure their parents realize it’s a camp out, though, so it might be less than that staying.”
“They know.” Haley frowned, but before she could respond, Ethan added, “I spared you, okay?”
“More than okay. Ryan and I will come for some of it, but only some.”
“Looks like you’ll be roughing it tonight on your own, Bro.” Matt smirked as he shoved the barn door open with a shoulder, and both kids and Maggie raced into the barn, startling one of the horses.
“Whoa. Easy girl.” Scowling, Hank leaned across the rear end of a bay mare and shook his head. “Someone get me a beer.”
“The fun hasn’t even begun and you’re already grumpy.” Ethan plunked his arm load of stuff on a long table, then helped Haley unload her arms. “What else needs to be done?”
Hank held out a hand. “Beer. Now.”
Laughing, Ethan headed for the cooler, pulled out a Bud Light and tossed it to Hank, who caught it one-handed, only slightly spooking the mare he’d just finished saddling.
The children ran by, Maggie on their heels, barking like crazy. “Hey, kids,” Hank hollered. “Stay away from the horses if you’re gonna run around in here, especially with the dog yapping.”
The barn door opened and Ashley and Chloe breezed in. “Let the fun begin,” Ashley said, taking a swipe at Ethan’s baseball cap. He picked his sister up and twirled her around. “Glad you could make it.”
“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. Did you know Megan and Brett had their baby last night? Ethan shook his head. “A boy. Francie and Matt are going to visit her after the party. Chloe can hardly wait.”
“She’s at that age,” Ethan said, grabbing Chloe for a quick hug, and thanking God his daughter was still a little girl.
“I remember being Chloe’s age,” Ashley said, giving the eleven-year old a peck on the cheek then taking her hand and starting toward the horses and Hank. “Chloe wants to help you with the horse rides. That okay?”
“Absolutely. Good to see someone volunteering,” he said, high-fiving Chloe as she raced over to him.
Ethan’s heart swelled with love. God, he was one lucky guy to have a close family. Hank could bitch all he wanted, but the guy loved this or he wouldn’t be here. His little sister looked great. As always. And he’d never seen Matt as happy. Marriage with Francie was obviously agreeing with him.
“We’re just one big happy dysfunctional family,” he said to Haley, as he helped her set up another folding table.
“Don’t forget friendly.” Haley shot him a wide smile and his spirits soared.
Francie and Matt entered the barn, Elisa strapped in her baby sling on Francie. “I heard this is where all the action is.”
“You heard right,” Haley said. “Nice to see you again. Is Dottie here?”
“She’s getting ready inside. I deserted her, but she knows me well enough to know you can’t keep me away from horses. My husband, on the other hand,” she began, poking Matt in the stomach, “avoids horses like the plague.”
“Well put,” Matt drawled, giving Francie a quick kiss before stroking Elisa’s cheek.
“She’s beautiful.” Haley smiled at the sleeping baby. “She looks just like you, Francie.”
“Good thing her daddy knows how to keep the boys away,” Matt said as he reached into the cooler for his own beer.
Ethan swiped Matt’s beer. “I thought you’d given up this stuff since Francie can’t drink while she nurses.”
Matt yanked the beer back, arched his brows at his brother, popped the tab, and took a big swig.
“It was a short-lived goal,” Francie said. “I’m pondering his punishment.”
Haley laughed. “I have a feeling you’ll come up with something good.”
Francie waggled her eyebrows. “You bet I will.”
Haley continued to get things organized for the party while listening to Ethan and his family tease one another. She couldn’t imagine what it would have been like growing up in a family like this—a family full of love and laughter and siblings who were there for one another.
Their friendliness toward her warmed her heart as she continued to organize the different party games. She pulled out a sack of apples, thinking how much fun the kids would have bobbing for them. They’d get wet, so it was a good thing she brought lots of towels. It was almost time for the guests to arrive, and her excitement for the afternoon grew. She glanced around, mentally checking things off her to-do list, and smiling as Kayla ran by chasing her puppy. Ryan tried to keep up, but his short legs couldn’t begin to catch them. Ethan swooped down and snatched him up as he ran by, settling him on his shoulders and heading for Hank. “Glad to see you have several ponies here for the rides. Who’s the big sorrel?”
“He’s Francie’s. Name’s Teddy. He’s big but gentle. Even your brother has ridden him.”
Ethan turned around, his eyes wide. “Hey Matt, Hank tells me you’ve ridden this monster.”
“And lived to tell about it. He’s the one who put mom in a cast.”
Francie jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. “It was an accident and you know it. You also know Teddy is a total sweetheart.”
Haley listened to the exchange with interest.
“Francie is right,” Dottie said, approaching them. “Don’t listen to your brother, Ethan.” She turned to Haley. “I made a couple of quarts of lemonade for the kids to drink while they play their games out here.”
“Sounds good. Let me help you get it.”
Smiling Dottie started out of the barn just as Kayla raced over to her. “Grandma!” she yelled, flinging herself at Dottie and wrapping her arms around her waist.
Dottie almost lost her balance, but still managed to give Kayla a big hug. “My goodness, I think you’ve grown in two weeks.”
“I missed you, Grandma.”
“And I missed you. That’s why I called so often,” she added with another hug.
Haley turned around to check on Ryan, who was still sitting on Ethan’s shoulders. Ethan gave her the thumbs up and she smiled. “Your son is wonderful with kids, Dottie.”
“He’s a good man. There was a time I wondered,” she added with a grin. “But both my boys turned out pretty darn well if I do say so myself.”
“Ashley’s pretty special, too,” Haley said.
Dottie glanced over her shoulder at Ashley who was helping Chloe saddle horses and smiled. “Yes, she is. I sure wish she’d get her fill of California and come join us for good. It’s hard to have your baby live so far away.”
“I’m sure it is, but she sure helped Ethan and me out when we were visiting out there.”
“She’s always been good at putting together a party. I could use her help in the house but don’t want to pull her away from her brothers.” Haley wondered why Ashely had moved so far from away. She supposed California had a lot to offer. Besides, her family had left Virginia and moved to Crystal Springs, which was not exactly a hub of thrills. Course there was always Nashville close by.
“Grandma?” Kayla said. “I talked to Mommy last night. She said she was sad she couldn’t come to my birthday party.”
/> “Of course she is,” Dottie responded. “She’s missing a great party for my wonderful granddaughter.” Dottie glanced at Haley, her jaw clenched.
“She sent me a present, though,” Kayla added.
“That she did. Now let’s go get everything ready for your party. Want to come help me carry plastic cups out?”
“Sure.” Kayla skipped along beside her, her pink boots kicking up the dirt.
Haley followed them across the yard and into the house, feeling sad for Kayla. She hoped this party was one Kayla would remember fondly for a long time in spite of her mother not attending, because this little girl’s happiness was Haley’s goal when she’d put this party together. She could only imagine what Ethan wanted to say to Ellie. Sometimes she wondered how he kept from criticizing his ex-wife in front of Kayla, but he had somehow managed and she admired him for it.
She forced her thoughts away from Ellie and followed Dottie and Kayla into the house, looking forward to making this a party that Ethan’s daughter would never forget.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Ethan was glad to see both Ashley and Haley taking lots of pictures. Kayla was on top of the moon with excitement. His heart expanded with love as he watched his daughter. He caught Haley’s eye as she led Ryan around the arena on a pony and winked at her. She flashed him a smile that made his knees go weak. It felt so right having her here in the midst of his family gathering. She’d been a real sport to do this, and he was pretty sure she didn’t feel put upon at all. In fact, she seemed to be enjoying herself as much as the children. She was one special woman, and he was a lucky man to have her taking care of Kayla and being his friend and lover. He should be totally satisfied with that, but he wanted more. He wanted it all, and he aimed to do everything in his power to win her over completely.
A Home for Haley Page 23