by KT Shears
They sat in silence, watching the TV coverage. Asher stood up and stuck his head out of the garage, looking up and down the pit wall. There was a really strange hush that was not at all usual on a Grand Prix weekend. He suddenly felt like he needed to get some air, and he walked out onto the pit wall, ignoring Jim’s protestations.
He wandered in front of the garages, nodding at the other drivers who were standing, still in their race kit. Without realising, he reached the front of Daily’s garage. If the other garages had been quiet, this one was like a morgue. He lingered for a moment, wanting to say something, wanting to go in and wait with them for news, but knowing it wasn’t his place. As he started walking on, he heard a noise that felt like it had split his very soul open. It was a wail of such utter misery and terror, and he hoped he would never hear a noise like it again. He looked as a woman collapsed in the arms of Daily’s teammate, Jared Arbor, sobbing. Oh God, that must be Daily’s wife. He felt sick, and turned back, almost running, to his own garage.
***
Ava set down a steaming mug of tea in front of Elise, and resumed her vigil on the sofa. It had been about 30 minutes since the crash now, and there hadn’t been any real news. A helicopter had just landed at the scene, but strangely, it had been waved away again a minute or two later. Perhaps the situation wasn’t as bad she feared – after all, if he was really badly hurt, they’d want him in the helicopter, surely?
As she sat, sipping her own tea, she heard the commentators say they had just received information about Ben Daily.
‘Oh thank God,’ Elise said, perking up. They both listened intently.
‘Well, ladies and gentleman.’ The commentator’s voice wavered and he paused. ‘I’m not quite sure how to say this. I’ve just been informed by the head of the FIA that driver Ben Daily has been pronounced dead at the scene of the crash.’
Ava felt her body stiffen, and she grabbed Elise’s hand. Elise was staring at the screen, her face blank.
‘There’s nothing I can say,’ the commentator went on, and Ava thought he was crying. ‘Ben Daily was an exceptional driver, and an even more exceptional man. I know he leaves behind his wife and parents, and I am desperately sorry for them. He will be truly missed. We’re going to take a break now – as you can imagine, we are all struggling with this news. We’ll be back in five minutes.’
The screen cut out and a message flashed up saying the programme would be off air for the next few minutes.
Elise turned to Ava, and suddenly began to weep; huge sobs wracking her body. Ava grabbed hold of her and hugged her tightly, feeling her own tears starting to fall.
‘I have to call Felipe,’ Elise said, suddenly standing up. ‘He’ll be devastated. I need to…’ She tailed off, another sob making her small body convulse. Then she gave herself a small shake, and grabbed her phone off the table, disappearing into the bedroom.
Ava sat, wondering what to do. Then she picked up her own phone, not even hesitating as she dialled Asher’s number.
Chapter eighteen
Asher sat, feeling numb. Felipe was off talking to Elise on the phone, and the garage was gradually emptying of people. He kept hearing that wail, over and over in his head, as if it was on a loop. He was surprised when his phone began to buzz, and even more surprised when he saw Ava’s name flashing on the screen.
‘Ava?’
‘Oh God, Asher. Are you alright? I was watching. On the TV.’ Ava’s voice sounded breathless and upset.
‘I’m fine,’ he said. ‘Well, I’m not fine but I’m okay physically. I’m not hurt.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Ava had managed to control her breathing a little now. ‘I can’t believe it’s happened.’
‘Me neither. We were having a laugh just before the race. He was going off to spend a couple of weeks with his parents after today.’ Asher felt a lump in his throat. Oh God, his parents. Had they been told? Had they seen?
‘Jesus,’ Ava said. ‘This is awful.’
There was a silence on the phone, and Asher was about to ask if she was still there, when she spoke again.
‘Look, I’m sorry about what happened.’ She let out a sigh.
‘I just don’t understand,’ Asher said, heavily. ‘I thought things were going well with us and then that happened.’
‘I know.’ There was a pause. ‘I don’t know what to tell you, Asher.’
He stood up, wandering across the now-deserted garage.
‘Just tell me the truth, Ava. Please.’
‘The truth is that I’m terrified, and I don’t know how to get past it. I know I freaked out when you came over and Shay was there. Seeing him brought back a ton of stuff-’
‘I know what he did,’ Asher cut in, and he thought he heard a little gasp of surprise.
‘You do? How?’
‘Felipe told me. Don’t be mad at him or Elise, he was just trying to help. Look I know that idiot hurt you, but I’m not him.’
‘I know.’ Ava’s voice wavered. ‘But it’s the lifestyle, Asher. It does this to people.’
He shook his head, even though she wouldn’t be able to see.
‘No it doesn’t – not to everyone. I’m willing to bet Shay would have treated you badly whether he was a hockey player or not, he’s just a bad person. I’m not like that. I’m not like him.’
‘I don’t know,’ Ava said, miserably. ‘I miss you. I miss you so incredibly much but then I think about you being away all over the world, girls flinging themselves at you, and I feel sick to my stomach. I can’t sit at home worrying.’
‘Then don’t worry. The only girl I want flinging herself at me is you, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make you believe that.’
There was another long pause.
‘Look I have to go, Elise is really upset. Take care of yourself, Ash. I’m so sorry about your friend. I’ll get in touch.’
And then, she was gone.
Asher turned the phone over and over in his hands, wondering what to make of that conversation. She said she missed him; that was good, right? But then, she had hung up pretty quickly and they had no plans to see each other again. And then there was Ben Daily. This was turning out to be one of the shittiest days of his life.
He decided he had to get away from the track, and headed back to the hotel. The race hadn’t been restarted, and he’d got 12 place – but that didn’t seem to matter now. Erik hadn’t even cracked a smile at his number one position – every driver he had seen after the crash looked grey and ashen. He thought about Ben’s wife. What was her name? Jenna? He hoped to God someone was looking after her.
His phone rang as he headed up the hotel stairs to his room, and he answered without looking, sure it would be Ava. It was Devlin.
‘Hey, bro. You alright?’
Asher almost thought he could detect a genuine note of concern in his brother’s voice.
‘Yeah, I guess,’ he said. ‘It’s been a shitty day.’
‘I bet. That race should have been called off about five laps earlier. It was insane.’
‘Tell me about it,’ Asher said. ‘So what’s new with you?’
‘Well, I’m out of that shitty rehab place.’ Devlin laughed. ‘It wasn’t so bad, I guess. And I haven’t had a drink in ages.’
‘Hey that’s great, Devlin.’ Asher really meant it. He was glad his brother seemed to be getting back on the straight and narrow. He heard something in the background. ‘Have you got a woman there, Dev? His heart sank, and he thought perhaps he had been too hasty in welcoming his brother’s new take on life.
‘Yeah it’s Flick.’
‘Flick?’ Asher was surprised. ‘What’s going on with that?’
‘I dunno, man. We’re giving it another go I think. Look I’ll talk to you when you get back. Take care, eh?’
Asher was still surprised when he ended the call. He had told Flick to call Devlin, sure, but he hadn’t imagined she would ever want him back. Guess there’s just no telling what people will do. Like Ava
– there was no telling what she might do either. He sighed and lay down on his bed, suddenly feeling extremely tired.
***
Ava sat at her desk, trying to focus on the words in front of her on the screen. She was writing a deeply dull press release about some financial firm that had done…something. She wasn’t even sure what. Her mind strayed elsewhere. She kept thinking about the phone call she had had with Asher – more than a week ago now. Hearing his voice had been so amazing, but it had also hurt. Was she being totally irrational? But then, every man said they ‘weren’t like that’, didn’t they?
She sighed, and Elise’s head popped up over the desk partition.
‘You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?’ She looked gleeful.
Ava shook her head.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ she said, miserably.
Elise stood up and came round to the desk, her hands on her hips. It looked like she meant business.
‘This is silly,’ she said, wagging a finger at Ava sternly. ‘I’ve tried to bite my tongue about it, like you asked me to, but I can’t any longer. You go on about Asher breaking your heart and making you miserable, but can’t you see? You’re miserable without him. Sometimes in life you need to take a risk. I took a risk with Felipe and yeah, it’s early days, but he makes me blissfully happy and even if it doesn’t work out, at least I took the plunge and went for it.
‘I saw the two of you together – you’re just right for each other, and not just because you both look like you crawled off the cover of Vogue. And he’s willing to do what it takes to make you trust him. Come on, Ava. Stop sabotaging your own life.’
Ava stared at Elise, shocked. Was that what she was doing? Sabotaging her own life? She’d thought she was safeguarding it.
‘I’m just trying to stop myself getting hurt, Els.’
‘And you’re also stopping yourself being happy.’ Elise sighed heavily. ‘Look, it’s not my business at the end of the day. If you want to go through life never taking a risk on happiness and being miserable, then I guess I have to accept that. But I can’t watch you throw someone like Asher away. I promise you, you will regret it forever.’
Ava buried her face in her hands.
‘He probably doesn’t even want to see me, Els,’ she said, her voice muffled. ‘I’m scared to contact him again.’
She raised her head and looked at Elise, who had a thoughtful expression on her face.
‘It’s the Monaco Grand Prix this weekend,’ she said, slowly. ‘Come with me. Felipe can get you a ticket.’
Ava shook her head.
‘Wouldn’t that be weird? Like a bit stalkerish?’
Elise laughed.
‘Nah I don’t think so. You can watch from the garage with me. What do you think?’
‘I don’t know, Els…’
***
Asher finished the TV interview with a more sombre smile than usual. The tone of the whole weekend was muted after the death of Ben Daily, and most of the interviews he’d done focused heavily on the young driver who had lost his life. He thanked the interviewer and headed back into the garage. As he entered, he noticed a couple of familiar-looking guys standing in the VIP seating section. It took him a second to work out who they were.
‘It’s Dave, isn’t it? And Mike? From the club?’ Asher strode across to them, sticking a hand out. They both shook, looking like they were kids in a candy store. Asher smiled – he remembered feeling like that when he first got backstage at one of Devlin’s races. ‘So glad you guys made it. Are you being looked after?’
Dave nodded, his eyes wide as dinner plates.
‘This is awesome, I never expected to be here,’ he said, reverently. Mike looked equally amazed.
‘Look I’ll find you guys after the race, yeah? I’ll take you to one of the after parties.’ Asher was grateful that the pair hadn’t said a word to the media about Devlin. He knew they could probably have sold their story for a pretty big sum – but the look on their faces told him that this experience was far more important than money, in both their eyes.
He turned around and started to head to his car – it wouldn’t be long till he had to head out onto the grid for the parade lap and line-up. He noticed Elise enter, and he waved, then stopped, his hand stupidly flapping in the air when he caught sight of who was with her.
Ava looked stunning, tight jeans clinging to every curve, and her hair swept up in a high ponytail. She smiled at him, looking uncertain. He had been feeling pretty miserable, what with Ben Daily, but suddenly his heart felt like it might burst. She had come to one of his races
He crossed over to them quickly and then stopped in front of them, realising he had no clue what to say. Thank God for Elise.
‘Hey, Asher!’ She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. ‘I’ve dragged Ava along with me, she was just so desperate to be part of a Grand Prix.’
Asher grinned as Ava rolled her eyes. Suddenly, Elise spotted Felipe and darted off, leaving Asher and Ava standing facing each other. Asher suddenly didn’t feel like a millionaire racing driver – he felt like a schoolboy asking a girl on a date for the first time.
‘I’m glad you came,’ he said, eventually. ‘I wasn’t sure…after the phone call.’
‘I wasn’t sure I was coming until about an hour ago,’ Ava said. ‘I didn’t know whether you would want to see me or not.’
‘Of course I do.’ Asher felt like something was on the tip of his tongue, but then Jim appeared at his shoulder.
‘You need to get in the car, Ash.’
Damn. He nodded and took Ava’s hand.
‘Wait for me after. Don’t leave, please.’
She nodded and he headed to his car, praying that she would be true to her word.
Chapter nineteen
Ava still had butterflies in her tummy when she sat down in the VIP seating area. She immediately saw Dave and Mike, and waved at them. Elise appeared and sat down beside her, and then jumped to her feet again.
‘Anna!’ she called, waving at a heavily pregnant woman walking past the garage. The woman turned and smiled, waving back and coming over.
‘Hi, Elise,’ she said, hugging her. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m good, Anna. This is my friend Ava.’
Ava smiled at Anna. She was very pretty, and she looked familiar.
‘Anna is Erik Jonasson’s wife, and she’s about ready to drop!’
Anna laughed, cupping her stomach.
‘Erik tells me I’m not to get too excited during this race.’
‘Wow,’ Ava said. ‘It must be difficult with him travelling around so much. What happens if you go into labour when he’s racing on the other side of the world?’
Anna smiled, blushing a little.
‘He has a private jet on standby,’ she said, laughing as Ava’s mouth dropped open. ‘I know, it’s absurd! It’s like a movie. But he insisted.’
‘Wow,’ Ava said again, her mind reeling.
‘Ava is dating Asher,’ Elise said, and Ava glared at her.
‘Wow, lucky girl. He’s a great guy – I know a lot of girls hound him, but he doesn’t seem interested. It’s a refreshing change from his brother.’ Anna laughed again and waved as she left the garage.
Elise sat back down again, and Ava followed suit.
‘She seemed nice,’ Ava said, truthfully. She had liked Anna – she seemed down to earth, not at all like she had expected a racing wife to be. Elise was different, of course.
‘She is,’ Elise said, nodding. ‘Her and Erik are so cute together. He’s devoted to her. Anyway, what happened after I left you and Asher?’
‘Well, I’m meeting him after.’ Ava grinned and Elise whooped.
The atmosphere suddenly became more muted, as a minute’s silence was held for Ben Daily. On the TV screens, Ava could see an attractive young woman, tears streaming down her face, as she stood on the grid. All the drivers were out of their cars and had formed a circle around her – Jared Arbor su
pporting her.
‘That’s his wife, Jenna,’ Elise said, after the silence had ended. ‘She must be devastated. I sent her a card, of course, but what you can you say in it? Ben was only 25.’ She shook her head, sadly.
Ava watched as the young woman was led off-screen by Jared. She wondered how she would have felt if it had been Asher in that crash. The thought made her want to scream.
She and Elise couldn’t really chat during the race. The sound the cars made was so loud it was almost deafening, even wearing the earplugs she had been provided. All they could do was communicate in sign language, which made them giggle. Dave and Mike were totally engrossed in the race, oblivious to the thumbs-ups, waving, and random gesticulating taking place beside them.
Asher had started in 15th place, which Ava knew wasn’t great. But by mid-race, he had moved himself into 7th place. She had watched as his car came into the pit lanes, the mechanics frantic as they replaced his tyres. They moved so fast – it was incredible to watch. She was looking forward to seeing Asher after. So much.
***
Asher had clawed his way up to fourth. He couldn’t believe he’d made it this high – he’d benefited from a safety car following an accident, which allowed him a well-timed tyre change, and he now had Roger Delaine in his sights. He wasn’t close enough yet to attempt an overtake, but he felt like he was gaining – and a quick message to Jim confirmed that was the case.
‘You should be within one second next lap.’
Asher grinned beneath his helmet. Within one second meant he could use DRS – he didn’t understand the science behind it especially, but all he knew was, when that little flap opened, he got an amazing speed boost. He was sure he could take Delaine no problem. The only thing was, they were only three laps from the end of the race – so he had to get it done sooner rather than later.
As he passed the start/finish line for the penultimate lap, his mind flicked quickly to Ava. She was watching him, and he would love to get a podium just for her. Then he gave himself a shake – he had to focus entirely on the race.