The Standby
Page 14
“I wished I could be that for her. I spend all night looking out of my window, looking for her, telling myself all the reasons why I couldn’t go to her hotel and beg for her to come back. Why it was for the best that we were over...but when I got on the plane to go to New York, I knew.
“I was wrong.
“I might never deserve her, I might struggle to tell her to her face how I feel, but I did love her. More than anything in this world. I begged for the plane to turn around, but of course it didn’t. Instead, I waited at the other end, hanging on to my phone like an obsessed man, watching my messages flick to ‘read’ with no reply.
“I understood, of course I did. I hurt her, I tossed away the heart she gave me, the one so filled with love and kindness that it still astounds me. She was her own hurricane and I am still trapped in the eye of her storm.
“I reached out again and again, but the days turned into weeks, which turned into months. I buried myself in work, remembering our time together and writing it down in black ink, wishing she was beside me to read it and laugh with me at my errors. I rewrote the bath scene ten times, unable to get just what I was feeling right, or the beauty in her confession. In the end, I got drunk, there, you have it. I got drunk and I wrote, tears streaming down my face as my heart shattered. I had ruined what we had, what could have been, and I had to live with that.
“I couldn’t tell her she left me without words, so I wrote them all down. This is my love note to the girl who stole my heart with just a smile. I’m hoping one day she will see this and understand that I was scared, and fear makes you do stupid things. Even more so than love.
“Ry, I love you, I always did and always will.
“You are my story, the greatest one I could write.
“The girl I met on Standby.”
It ends there, but I flip to the next page and see a note from the author. Desperate to hang on to each word, I read it, my heart filling with hope and happiness. He did feel the same! He loved me! I wasn’t an idiot and here it is, written down for everyone to see.
“Stripes, if you ever read this, I want you to know I’m holding out for our happily ever after. I’m ready to write the sequel if you are. I don’t want this world without you, I’m sorry I pushed you away, I’m sorry I was an idiot. I love you, crazy girl, please know that. You have the heart I didn’t know how to give, please don’t break it...even though I broke yours. I’m filled with hope, waiting for you, on standby once again.”
My phone rings as I’m crying with a smile and I answer. “That author, his name was Logan, right? I have a book here which, well, I couldn’t read the sex scenes, but I read everything else and is it about you?” my mum asks bluntly, and I snort. “I knew it! Carl, it is!” she yells to Dad in the background before coming back to me. “I told you, baby girl, meant to be!”
“But, Mum, he never told me...I haven’t even spoken to him,” I mutter, deflating a little.
“So? Maybe he didn’t want to do it over the phone, maybe this is a grand gesture to get you to talk to him, to show you and the world how much he cares! You said he was scared, baby, but to me it sounds like you are the one who’s scared now. You have a man who not only loves you, but has written your love story to try and get you back, who has shown his heart and vulnerabilities to the world in the hope you will reach out. Do it or you will regret it forever.”
“You’re right,” I whisper, because she is.
Logan loves me, really loves me...so what am I going to do?
I’m going to find him.
Twenty-Six
It doesn’t take me long to come up with a plan. After just a few searches online, I’m filled with determination. He loves me. It goes through my head again and again. Maybe Cupid knew what he was doing. Fuck, maybe he never saw this coming, but I don’t care. I love Logan and Logan loves me, that’s all that matters.
I can’t wait to see him, to look into his eyes. I will hold my breath until I hear those words, as if the universe could dash them away. Too nervous and wired up to sleep, I grab a glass of wine and read the book front to back, falling in love with that man’s words once more. It only makes my love for him stronger, since he truly does bare his heart.
It’s truthful and raw and so beautiful it feels too good to be true, but it is. It’s our story.
“She watched the stars like they held all the answers, a smile dancing on those lips, but me? I watched her. She shined brighter than any celestial orb in the sky, her light one that would never be diminished no matter what she faced. She told me once that life was like a mountain, you had to keep climbing to get to the top. Well, Ryan was my top. There was nothing more perfect or real than the girl next to me, and when she looked back at me, her smile only growing, I knew deep inside, she was meant to be mine.”
The words leap from the page, setting my heart alight as I devour each perfectly printed line, and when I’m done, I sit with it clutched to my chest. Never before have I read such beautiful words, it’s his best work yet and it’s ours. Mine.
Us.
I end up napping on the sofa and waking up early, my nerves jangling. I take more time with my appearance than usual, smoothing my curls and adding lipstick before humming and hawing over what to wear. I finally settle on a dress with a heart-shaped neck, tights, and boots. Grabbing my keys and phone, I’m out the door before I realise what I forgot and have to race back for the book.
I take the tube and I’m so early that the shop isn’t even open yet, so I grab a coffee and wait. I force myself to order something to eat, but when it comes, I can only nibble at it, my stomach too clenched and nervous to really consume it.
Today is the day. After six months, I’m going to see him again.
He admitted in the book he loves me and is waiting for me, but what if...what if he got tired of waiting? He told me once it can take a while to print books and get them published, so what if in that time he moved on?
There is only one way to know, and that has me nearly bouncing in my seat with nerves. Fuck, don’t let me mess this up, or put my foot in my mouth like I did the first time we met.
I watch the people around me before pulling out my phone and reading the reviews for his book, grinning at the amazing reception he’s getting. And this man thought he could only write death. He writes love better in my opinion.
I also head online and see the hashtag #whoisryan and #findryan trending, leaving me shocked. Wow, his fans, both new and old, are really trying to find me for him. I float through a few, some just about who they think I am, some saying they would forgive him and that they will love him. They make me laugh and lose track of time, and when I next check, I realise I’m late.
I step outside and notice the line is almost down High Street. Sighing but determined, I get into it and wait, nervous the whole time. I move from side to side, clutching the book to my breasts. I get a few funny looks, but I ignore them and their chatter about how excited they are.
I can’t focus on anyone right now, only him.
Eventually, we get through the door and the line keeps moving until I see him sitting in the middle of the bookstore signing books. There are two girls in front of me now, and his head is bent as he signs. Logan gives everyone a smile, surveying their faces politely as he talks to them and thanks them...but I can see it.
His eyes are dull, his smile a little false, and he searches everyone like he’s looking for someone...looking for me. I duck down behind the girls in front of me and then suddenly, it’s my turn. He doesn’t look up, busy grabbing a new pen as I put my copy down in front of him.
He’s even more handsome than I remember. Wearing a suit with his hair styled back, he looks like a rock star, untouchable, but to me...he’s Logan. The man I love.
“Hi, thank you for coming, who would you like this made out to?” he says, as he flicks it open.
I suck in a deep breath. “Stripes,” I force out, my voice quiet.
He blinks before his head jerks up. His mouth dr
ops open when he sees me, his eyes wide in shock, and I can’t help it, I have to fill the silence. “Hey, Worm, loving the book. Though I gotta admit my character seems a bit obsessed with sex, you know? Wishful thinking?” I grin.
“Ry?” he whispers, still staring.
The line is mumbling behind me now, wondering what the hold-up is. I can feel them looking, his manager too, but I don’t care.
“Ry?” he repeats in disbelief, his eyes filling with hope.
“Thought you might want my notes on it,” I start, and he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. “I loved it, good amount of emotional entanglement and climax, but that ending?” I shake my head. “That ending was crap. Where was the happily ever after? The feel good that makes you go away believing in love again?” I tease.
“Wait—did you hear that?”
“Is that her?”
I hear the whispers, but don’t look away from Logan as he pushes back from the table and gets up, facing me now. “Yeah? How would you have ended it?” he asks nervously, his hands reaching for me for a moment before dropping when he remembers he isn’t supposed to touch me anymore. I wish he had reached for me, dragged me closer, it would have made this easier for me. But if he needs the words, the actions, then I will give them to him. It’s my turn to make a public declaration, only I don’t have the fancy words like him.
“Like this,” I tell him, and then I grab his head, pulling him down to kiss him.
I hear whistles and shocked whispering, even some cheering as he wraps his arms around me and drags me closer, kissing me like he will never let me go again. He better not.
I pull away, breathless, and he rests his head against mine, his eyes flickering between mine, those flecks brighter than ever. “Can you ever forgive me?” he whispers. “I was a total idiot.”
“You were.” I grin. “You can make it up to me, I’m sure.”
He closes his eyes for a moment, and when they open, I see the sheen of tears then. “For the rest of my life,” he croaks. “I love you, Ryan, so much.”
“I love you too,” I reply, and he kisses me again as I giggle.
He pulls away with a whoop and lifts me into the air, spinning me in a circle, his smile just for me. I see the flashes as they take photographs—let them, this is our love story, after all. What would it be without a bit of drama?
Who would have ever guessed I would meet the love of my life while on standby?
Not me.
Epilogue
A year later.
“Are you ready?” Logan calls from the hallway, as I shimmy into my dress. He whistles as he comes into the room and I grin at him.
He grabs me in his arms, making me giggle. “I think we should stay here instead. I’ll have you for dinner, beautiful.”
“Nuh-uh, that’s why we missed last night and this morning too. We have to leave the bedroom eventually,” I tease, and he groans but kisses me lightly.
“Fine, if you say so,” he grumbles, but twines my hand with his and leads me from the apartment where we are staying in Dubai—yes, the same one we stayed in last time we came. Only this is our anniversary now, and where else would we go but the place we fell in love?
The book was a hit. It went worldwide with news stories covering both the story and our reunion in the bookstore. Pictures and videos were blasted everywhere, the whole world saw our love and got to read how we met. Since then, Logan has been bombarded with requests for a sequel, but he doesn’t tell them much, just that he’s working on it and researching.
We research every day, all day if possible. After the signing, I took him home to meet my parents and, no surprise, they fell in love with him, though my dad did threaten to beat him with a wrench if he ever hurt me again. Logan was terrified but understood, and he promised he would never do so again.
He still talks to them. Fuck, my mum ships cookies to us wherever we are in the world. I had to quit my job. I loved it, but I loved him more. Now, every day is an adventure, and I’m officially one of his managers. After all, who else can get him to listen?
Sex is an effective bargaining chip.
We head to the restaurant where it all went bad last time, wanting to replace it with happier memories. Logan orders for me and we are even sitting at the same table. It’s an amazing night, and I can’t look away from the man who has given me everything. I love him so much and I know I will never be alone again, neither will he.
He has a family now, he has love.
When the dessert comes, I’m busy grabbing my fork so I don’t see him move until I hear a gasp. Looking up, I see him grinning at me on one knee beside the table as the sun sets. My jaw drops.
“Ryan Shaw, Stripes, our love story is one for the ages. Such a beautiful journey, one I want to live forever. I wake up every day happier than I’ve ever been and I know my place is by your side. Wherever that takes us. So, Ry, baby, what do you say to one more adventure?”
“Logan,” I whisper, as he opens the black velvet box to reveal a massive sparkling ring.
“Will you marry me?” he asks nervously.
“Yes!” I scream, and he places the ring on my finger as I leap to my feet and into his arms, kissing him as tears roll down my face. I hear the rest of the restaurant clapping, but all that matters is him.
“It’s time we start our sequel, as Mr. and Mrs. Hemsworth,” he murmurs, and kisses me solidly—a promise, one I know he will never break.
Love, who knew it could bring me everything I ever wanted and more?
K.A Knight is an indie author trying to get all of the stories and characters out of her head. She loves reading and devours every book she can get her hands on, she also has a worrying caffeine addiction.
She leads her double life in a sleepy English town, where she spends her days writing like a crazy person.
Read more at K.A Knight’s website or join her Facebook Reader Group.
THEIR CHAMPION SERIES
The Wasteland
The Summit
The Cities
The Forgotten
The Lost (Coming February 2020)
DAWNBREAKER SERIES
Voyage to Ayama
Dreaming of Ayama
THE LOST COVEN SERIES
Aurora’s Coven
Aurora’s Betrayal
HER MONSTERS SERIES
Rage
Hate (coming 2020)
STANDALONES
Scarlett Limerence
Nadia’s Salvation
CO-AUTHOR PROJECTS
Circus Save Me
Taming The Ringmaster
Dark Temptations Volume One (contains One Night Only and Circus Saves Christmas)
The Wild Interview
The Hero Complex
Shipwreck Souls
The Horror Emporium
Capturing Carmen
Stealing Shiloh (coming March 2020)