The Hard Way

by Austin Bates

  “I’m excited too, Dad.” His father’s wolfish smile dominated Issac’s thoughts as he went on to say, “I’m glad that we aren’t going to let anything get in the way of family.” His phone buzzed again and Issac offered a curt, “Excuse me,” to his father as he pulled it out. Another text from Noah read Everything okay? Can I come by to see you after Jade falls asleep?

  Issac wore his best smile as he put his phone back in his pocket. Gordon and Charlene exchanged glances, with smiles that looked like they might burst if they got any wider.

  “Welcome home, son. There’s nothing more important than family.”

  Chapter 23

  Noah held his phone loosely in his palm. He blinked once, then blinked again, revealing watery eyes. Are you fucking kidding me? he asked himself in a whisper. Madeline passed by his bedroom and he jumped to his feet and shut the door. He didn’t want her to get the sense that something was wrong. Noah sat down at his desk, and opened his phone. As he reread the message, his mind completed the end of the sentence for him, piecing together what the rest of the message meant.

  A text from Issac sat in the middle of the screen. Noah hadn’t replied upon seeing it. Do you even reply to something like this? What’s the social protocol for when someone does something like this to you? I can’t be reading this right.

  The text on the screen read: Hey, Noah. I think that I need some time to focus on what’s really important. I think that I’m going to keep to myself for a while. See you around?

  “Are we in middle school?” Noah whispered to himself. “What person over twenty breaks up with someone over text?”

  There was a knock at the door and Madeline called out to him from the other side of the door. “Noah? Jade mentioned that she wanted to go sledding. Are you feeling up to that?”

  Noah sighed and abandoned his sulking position at his desk to pull open the bedroom door. “I’m not feeling up too much of anything.”

  Madeline scowled and said, “Come on. Jade is here for the weekend you can pull away from your cases for a moment to spend some more time with her.”

  “Mom, I’m not trying to get out of spending time with my daughter. Issac just ended things over text.”

  Madeline’s mouth dropped into an O. “Over text? Are you sure that he meant that he didn’t want to date anymore?”

  Noah held up his phone and showed her the text from Issac. Madeline sighed and came into Noah’s room. She sat on the edge of his bed and he chuckled.

  “Mom, you don’t have to come in here and try to cheer me up. It’s been a long time since I was sixteen and crying over a boy.”

  Madeline waved him off. “Even when you were sixteen, you were crying over a pregnancy and a boy. We’ve never had a normal go of things. I’m sorry, sweetie. He really did seem like a decent guy.”

  “I thought so too. I just don’t understand whether or not I did something to make him end things like this or—”

  Madeline held up her hand. “Issac clearly has his own issues. You said that he’s not doing very well at the firm, and he’s estranged from his family. He’s probably feeling a little lost right now. Give him some time.”

  Noah gasped and slapped a hand over his mouth. He turned to Madeline and said, “He’s been assigned to Cullen’s schoolboard case. What if he screws it up? What if he doesn’t prepare himself just to mess with me?”

  “He wouldn’t jeopardize his career just to make sure that he’s fucked you over. I think that you should take some time to yourself, today. I’ll tell Jade that we’ll go sledding next weekend.”

  Noah nodded and sat back down into his desk chair. “Thank you, Mom. I’m going to be fine.”

  “Okay.” Madeline left him to be with his thoughts. When the door closed, Noah turned back to the message on his phone. He needed to handle this in a way that reflected his professional interests as well.

  Okay. I hope that you can work out whatever you’re dealing with. I hope that we can be friends eventually. Good luck with your case.

  Noah’s finger hovered over the send button as he thought, I could send him a text asking why he’s giving up on us out of nowhere. He shook his head and pressed send. I guess that this wasn’t what I thought it was.

  Chapter 24

  Jade held up her tickets to Denver Dragon Live and swayed back and forth. “We’ll get to sing with Denver Dragon! The real live Denver Dragon!”

  Noah chuckled and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Yes, save some of your energy for the live show.” Madeline wrapped Jade in a big bear hug before letting go of her. “Well, you two have fun. Noah, tell me all about New York. Please be safe.”

  “Of course,” Noah replied as he plopped a coral and white winter hat onto Jade’s head and opened the front door. A gust of wind carried some snow flurries into the front walkway. Madeline sighed and muttered about having to mop later and moved to stand at the front door as she watched Noah and Jade head out.

  Noah managed to snag a pair of high dollar tickets for Denver Dragon Live, which worked out perfectly because it gave Cullen another free weekend. From the updates that he’d heard from Cullen about the case, things seemed to be going well, but he was getting more than a little stir crazy sitting at home every day. He looked forward to the weekends when Andrew didn’t work so that they could spend time together.

  Noah and Jade slid into the car and headed towards the highway. I never thought that I’d be doing Cullen favors so that he could spend more time with Andrew. Andrew has had to pick up so much more work to pay for that house, though. Noah also didn’t mind not being the less fortunate one of the two of them for once. He wasn’t proud of it, but it had been a welcome relief to look up when he picked himself up from the breakup with Issac and seen that things weren’t all that bad.

  He was lonelier these days, having spent at least three evenings a week having dinner with Issac. His heart still hurt when he let himself drift into his thoughts about it, and it was especially hard to treat Issac like any other lawyer in the firm whenever they crossed paths. The month since they had broken up had been a rough one, but Noah was feeling better than he had in weeks.

  Noah looked over to Jade. “Aren’t you excited, Jade? We’re going to see Denver in person!”

  “Yes! I’m going to ask him to sign my stuff and then we’re going to bring back stuff for Dad, right?”

  “Absolutely. We’re going to eat in a fancy New York restaurant and we’ll go back home to Baltimore and you can tell all your friends at school all about the fun you had!”

  Jade nodded, then a frown took its place on her face instead of the elated smile she had moments before. “Daddy?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I will not be able to tell Issac about Denver Dragon. Do you think that he would want to know about our trip?”

  Noah sighed and said, “Well, sweetie, Issac is doing his own thing. I can tell him all about it at work on Monday. How about that?”

  “But I will not get to tell him!” she protested. “I miss Issac. Why did he have to stop being your Andrew?”

  I wish I knew the answer to that, kid. “He wasn’t my Andrew. We’ve gone over this. Eventually, Daddy might meet someone else, and I’d prefer that you didn’t call them Andrews.”

  “Can we listen to my CD?” Jade asked, her attention already elsewhere.

  Reluctantly, Noah programmed the car’s CD player and Jade slid her Denver soundtrack in. He navigated the icy roads and looked down at his daughter as she rocked back and forth to the soft melodies of the Denver Dragon show. Noah turned up the radio and the opening song to Denver Dragon with Jade as they cruised down the highway.

  ********************************************

  “Are you kidding me?!” Noah shrieked, and Jade followed after him. She stood in the doorway of the bathroom, her arms folded across her chest.

  “I didn’t know that I wouldn’t like the juice! They sent us gross juice!”

  “So you throw up onto my shirt?!” Noah peeled
the shirt off and tossed it into the hotel room. Jade had requested the second largest juice at the theater because it was “Denver colored,” and still feeling a sting of guilt from their conversation in the car the day before, Noah allowed her to indulge.

  However, Jade had sent the entire contents of her little stomach flying onto Noah’s favorite sweater when she drank more than her small stomach wanted to contain.

  “You told me that you thought the juice tasted really good, Jade.”

  “I said that the color tasted good!” she corrected.

  Noah frowned and leaned over the bathtub. “Take a bath, Jade. Be quick about it, I need to take a shower after you’re done. I cannot believe you.” Noah walked back into the hotel room and paused until he heard the splash of Jade getting into the bath tub.

  I’m going to have to calm down, he thought. He found the room service menu on top of the dresser and scoured the menu.

  Noah picked up the hotel phone and ordered dinner, a burger and fries, onion rings and a sundae for dessert for himself and some chicken fingers for Jade. He stood up and grabbed one of the complimentary robes and opened the bathroom door, setting the smaller one on top of the sink for Jade to grab.

  It’s like I can still smell the blue dye they used on that drink. He ran his hand along his belly; his stomach was doing cartwheels. Maybe the food at the theatre was bad. He called out to Jade.

  “Jade! How are you feeling? Any better?”

  “I’m fine!” she answered, followed by a splash that more than likely sent water flying all over the bathroom floor. Noah rolled his eyes but another wave of nausea hit his body. Why do I feel like shit?

  There was a knock at the door and Noah opened the door. The employee smiled politely and handed him a cart with all of the food he had requested.

  “Enjoy your meal!” she said.

  “Thank—” With wide eyes, Noah ran over to the trash can on the other side of the room.

  “Oh my gosh! Are you okay, sir?”

  Noah held up a finger at the girl and braced himself as he retched again. Jade waved at the girl at the front door as she walked into the middle of the room. “Hello! Did you bring us food?”

  Noah wiped the corners of his eyes and stood on his feet. “T-thank you, miss. Jade, hand me my wallet.”

  “You’ve got puke on your hands—”

  “Hand me my wallet!” he barked, and Jade skittered over to the dresser and grabbed his wallet.

  “Okay, give the girl a twenty-dollar bill.”

  “Oh, you know, I can just go, it’s really no big deal—”

  “Jade.”

  Jade walked over to her and raised a twenty above her head. “Here’s your tip!”

  The girl nodded and hurried off. Jade shut the door and stood up on her tippy toes to smell the food.

  Noah walked over to the bathroom and washed off his mouth and wiped the bile off of his hands. Jade stood in the doorway, peering in.

  “Everything is fine, sweetie. I’m sorry that I raised my voice.” He wheeled the cart into the center of the room and handed Jade her plate of chicken tenders.

  The smell of the fried onion rings normally would have made Noah’s mouth water but once the smell clung to his nostrils, he darted for the bathroom. He heaved and the little that remained in his stomach came out.

  He slumped against the toilet and his heart beat so hard he thought that it might burst out of his chest. He wrapped his arm around his stomach and peeked out of the bathroom to see Jade happily chewing on chicken fingers while she watched her cartoon.

  Oh shit.

  Chapter 25

  Noah leaned back onto the cold leather of the examination table. The doctor had disappeared a few minutes earlier, and Noah wasn’t entirely sure that he wanted him to come back. When Doctor Barnes did come back, he’d be sharing the news of whether or not Noah’s life was about to change. Again.

  Upon returning home from their New York trip, Noah made an appointment at the doctor a day later. One week later, Doctor Barnes, the only doctor that Noah trusted with this sort of thing, could see him. I can’t believe this. How do you manage to do it, Noah? How do you get knocked up by two emotionally unavailable men? He took a deep breath. “Okay, it’s fine,” he said aloud, despite the fact that his words didn’t have any ears to go into. Preferably, there would be a person attached to those ears with some wisdom to shed or at the very least a positive attitude.

  He abstained from telling Madeline that there could be a pregnancy. Despite the fact that he had no way of knowing whether or not it would be himself or Issac that would be able to carry the baby, Madeline would be furious. Noah could hear it already, how she already takes care of Jade more than she has to, and that Noah could not be more irresponsible.

  Oh my God, I’ll have to move out. I’ll have to hire help. Noah looked towards the door, and the doctor still hadn’t returned. Come on. Tell me if my world is about to come crashing down around me. What about Jade? What if she feels even more neglected with a new baby on the way? Oh my God, Cullen could take her away. He’ll think that I’m an unf—

  “Mr. Wilson?”

  Noah looked up and tore himself away from his catastrophic thoughts. “Yes?”

  Doctor Barnes flipped through the sheets on Noah’s medical chart and grinned. “Well, you are most certainly pregnant.”

  Noah’s heart dropped into his stomach, and then his stomach twisted into a big, irreversible knot. “I can’t have another baby right now. The father doesn’t want a thing to do with me!”

  Doctor Barnes chuckled and said, “Noah, you said the same thing almost eight years ago when you found out that you were pregnant with Jade. You were only in high school then. I imagine that you’re more prepared to handle a baby now.”

  “That’s true, I guess. My mom helped me out a lot, though. I can’t do that to her again—”

  “Noah. You’re an adult now. You’ll figure something out. Congratulations, and trust me, it will be something worth congratulating once you’re more organized. Take as much time as you need in here.” Doctor Barnes left the examination room, and Noah put his head in his hands.

  Okay, the way that I see it, I have the weekend to figure out how to tell Mom. Noah slid off of the table and got dressed.

  Chapter 26

  Jade bolted inside of the house as Cullen leaned against the door frame. Andrew peeked out from behind him and waved. Noah offered a weak wave in Andrew’s direction and redirected his attention back to Cullen.

  “How’s your case going?”

  “I think that things are looking up. Issac seems pretty confident about it. He’s really working his ass off to collect statements from some of the teachers at the academy.”

  Noah sighed. “Well, I’m happy to hear that. I think that you would go completely nuts if you couldn’t teach for a living.” Cullen had shocked the world upon graduating high school when he announced that he planned to get a master’s in English and that he was going to pursue teaching. Cullen, the broody actor that had initially shied away from commitment when Jade was born. Noah was floored to hear that he wanted to commit to a potential lifetime of being around children.

  Cullen smirked. “You don’t seem happy. Are you not looking forward to Issac winning a big case on his own?”

  Noah peered behind Cullen, and when Andrew could not be seen, he said, “No, that’s not the problem. Do you have time to talk?”

  Cullen looked over his shoulder and back at Noah. “Yeah, do you want to come in? We can talk in my office. It’s private.”

  Noah followed Cullen inside, almost forgetting to hate the “home sweet home” smell of gingerbread and rising dough. It’s like Andrew spends entire days thinking of how to make me feel inferior.

  Cullen opened the door to his office, which was actually a bedroom that had been converted into a full study. Two chairs were against the left side of the wall while Cullen’s desk and whiteboard were on the right side. Cullen flipped on a light and took a
seat.

  “You want a cigarette?” Cullen asked.

  “Nah, I can’t have one right now. That’s actually part of why I wanted to talk to you. Actually, could you put that out?”

  Cullen frowned and extinguished his cigarette in an ashtray. “Damn it, Noah. What is it?”

  “I’m pregnant. Again.” A thick silence fell between them and Noah tapped him on the knee. “Say something. Please.”

  Cullen took a deep breath and said, “I just feel like I’m in eleventh grade again, you know. We’re meeting alone and you’re being weird and telling me that you’re pregnant. I’ve just been conditioned to freak out when something is setup like this.” Cullen gestured at the space between them.

  “That’s you freaking out? My mom is going to lose it. She already feels like Jade and I have taken over her life.”