The Realist

by Abbie Zanders

  I pushed deep and exploded, holding her tight while her body went limp and she continued to greedily milk me.

  Feeling somewhat weak myself, I pulled out and swept her into my arms. Then I carried us both to the bedroom.

  I’m happy to say that I redeemed myself, though. The second, third, and fourth times, I lasted longer than five minutes.

  Chapter 7

  Clarissa

  To all the writers of erotic romance, I owe you an apology. All these years I thought you were full of shit. Gifted writers with vivid imaginations, sure, but totally full of shit.

  I stand corrected.

  Dominant alpha males did exist. Sex could be apocryphal. And it was possible to be shagged into a state of oblivion.

  I knew without opening my eyes or moving a muscle (which was good, because I wasn’t sure I was capable of moving anything) that I was alone. Probably had been for some time. I don’t know if Travis slept here at all. The last thing I remember is the darkness edging my vision, my voice hoarse as I screamed out that last climax and felt him as he roared out his own release while deep between my legs.

  I laid there for a while, basking in the sense of complete satisfaction only hours and hours of really great sex could accomplish. I was sore, yes, but it was a good soreness, one born of pleasure, not pain.

  Eventually, though, I had to get up when I felt Ripper nuzzling my hand.

  I couldn’t help a glance up at Travis’ cabin, but I kept it quick. As wonderful as last night had been, I didn’t have any false illusions. It was just sex. Fantastic, earth-moving sex, sure, but I wasn’t stupid enough to think it was anything more than that.

  After spewing all that stuff about liking my solitude and not wanting any entanglements, you’re probably wondering why I even agreed to have sex with Travis in the first place. Excellent question, that.

  When it all comes right down to it, I can only say that I did it because I wanted to. It had been somewhat of an impulsive decision, I’ll give you that. Had I had time to think over it carefully, weigh the pros and cons, I probably would have come to the reasonable conclusion that engaging in a physical relationship with my neighbor was a bad idea, one in which I should not indulge.

  But have you ever been in a position when you were walking along quite contentedly, minding your own business, and you saw or smelled something so delicious, something you really wanted, and just decided to treat yourself? Well, this was kind of like that. I liked Travis, more than I liked most people. He had a truly spectacular body, made for a woman to explore and enjoy, and it had been a really, really long time for me.

  So I caved. I didn’t just fall off of the abstinence wagon, I jumped off wearing a sequin-studded thong and waving sparklers in the air.

  I couldn’t regret it though. Travis was even more amazing than I’d imagined. And ultimately, it changed nothing. We’d had the foresight to lay some important groundwork beforehand so there were no misconceptions.

  It was a good thing, too. The look I saw on Red Sugar’s face that day made a lot more sense now. I was determined not to have that same face should fate once again place me, Travis, and another female in the same uncomfortable space.

  I would treat this like I treated everything else. I would be thankful for it. I would take it day by day. I wouldn’t read anything into it, pin any expectations to it, or count on it being available tomorrow. Given that I’d had more sex last night than in the last couple of years of living with Mark, I figured I was good for a while.

  I didn’t see Travis for the rest of the day. That was fine by me. I was moving rather slowly and was glad he wasn’t witnessing my weakness. If he was of a mind to repeat last night, I didn’t want him questioning my ability or willingness to take what he had to give.

  I’d never been with an alpha before. I’d never been on the receiving end of such pure, carnal sex. Now that I had, I was pretty sure I was ruined for anything else.

  Yes, I had lived with someone, so I’d had sex before. Though after last night, I’m not sure I could call what Mark and I had “sex”. Sex was too raw of a word. What Mark and I had was more like “intercourse”. Mechanical. Clinical. Insert part A into slot B. Repeat.

  There had been no passion. It was a duty, nothing more. I didn’t mind all that much, at least not at first. I mean, life wasn’t an Ellora’s Cave novel, and Mark wasn’t one of Lora Leigh’s bad boy heroes.

  After last night, the thought of going back to my vibrator was depressing.

  I shook off those thoughts and went about my usual chores. I tidied up, did up the dishes forgotten the night before. By noon, the heat and humidity had climbed to nearly unbearable levels. Deciding to leave the outside stuff until later when the approaching front promised cooler temps, I packed Ripper up in my Jeep and drove down the other side of the mountain, in the opposite direction from Harken.

  New Berlin was the closest thing to a city this region had, founded a couple of hundred years earlier by – you guessed it – German immigrants. It was a good hour and a half from Harken, but well worth the trip. The town had several large shopping areas, including a buyer’s club where I bought a lot of my supplies in bulk. I also kept a post office box there where I picked up my online purchases.

  Ripper and I spent the afternoon going from store to store, picking up supplies which now also included dog food, an assortment of treats, grooming products, and flea and tick inhibitors. We stopped at a McDonalds, too. I feasted on a rare Big Mac and a chocolate shake. Ripper had a plain double cheeseburger. We split the large fries, fifty-fifty.

  There was a dog-friendly park there, so we stopped and walked off some of our burgers. Ripper was still recovering, as was I, so we kept it short and slow. With my Jeep’s cargo area filled to capacity, we began the trip home. It was later than I’d thought. Darkness had already fallen by the time we were halfway, so that slowed us up even more. There were no lights or lines marking the narrow mountain roads, the switchbacks sudden and severe.

  I didn’t see Travis as I unloaded my stuff, but I felt him watching us. I wondered if he’d come over. He didn’t.

  I refused to read anything into it. Nor did I try to play the “what is he thinking” game. That would be a waste of time because it was impossible for a woman to figure out what a man was thinking under the best of circumstances. They said that we were the complicated ones, but I call bullshit on that. I was never able to figure out what Mark was thinking and I’d lived with him for five years. It seemed kind of stupid to think I could do better with a man who I’d only just begun speaking to and was every bit as closed-off emotionally as I was.

  Ripper and I had a light snack, then made an early night of it. I slipped into the sheets, which still held a subtle, lingering scent of Travis. If I buried my nose in them and fell asleep that way, who was to know?

  Travis

  Clarissa was home safe. I breathed deeply for the first time all day, the uncomfortable weight that had settled on my chest lifting with that knowledge. By the looks of it, she had gone on one of her supply runs. I wasn’t sure exactly where she went, but I knew it wasn’t Harken. That worked for me. I don’t know why, but I really didn’t want to share her with the people of Harken. They might try to fix her up, just like they had me.

  I scowled at that, disturbed by the blackness that coiled in my chest at the thought of Clarissa hooking up with anyone in town. I didn’t waste a second giving a shit about what Sugar did when I wasn’t with her, so why should I care about my neighbor? We had the same no-strings agreement, right?

  Except even as I thought that, I knew it was a lie. Last night had been, well... I didn’t quite know what it was. I was still trying to wrap my mind around it. It had taken every last bit of strength I had to leave Rissa last night, to deny the all-consuming urge to tuck her against my body and hold her through the night.

  The last woman I’d actually slept with (as opposed to having sex with) was Sienna. For some reason, falling asleep and leaving myself vulne
rable seemed more intimate than sticking my dick in a woman’s body.

  Rissa didn’t seem like the kind of person who would take advantage of me, but I hadn’t thought Sienna was, either. Sienna’s betrayal had blindsided me, even more so than the IID (improvised incendiary device) that had put me out of commission and gave me a ticket home.

  I would never give any woman that kind of power over me again, no matter how good the sex was.

  Glad that I’d sorted that out, I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep.

  Over the next few days, I expected Rissa to show up on my doorstep with a to-do list, bearing a basket of edible incentives. She didn’t.

  I expected to find her shooting frequent glances over in my direction, hoping to catch me looking her way. She didn’t.

  No, she went about her business as usual. She had her morning coffee on the porch with her Yeti feet. Puttered around her flower beds. Drove the tractor out to the orchard, returning with a loader bucket filled with baskets of peaches, pears, and early harvest apples.

  Then she disappeared inside for a couple of hours, emerging much later to mow the grass around her cabin and tend to her garden.

  Not that I was watching. Much.

  “How’s he doing?” I asked nearly a week later, peeling my eyes away from her shoulders, bare thanks to the tank top she wore, and toward Ripper, who was content to lay in the dirt, shaded by the row of sweet corn now towering close to six feet high.

  “Good,” she answered without turning around. I withheld the growl building in my chest. So, we were back to one-word responses now?

  “Are you going to take him back to town for his follow-up?” I pressed.

  “No.”

  “I could take him if you want,” I offered.

  She paused, the small hand rake clutched in her gloved hand. Her shoulders stiffened. Good. I didn’t like being ignored. That was kind of ironic since I’d moved out here for exactly that reason.

  When she spoke, her voice was careful, controlled. “You don’t need my dog as an excuse to see the vet.”

  Meow. Irrational hope and approval bloomed in my chest. “No,” I drawled in agreement. “I don’t.”

  She went back to digging around the pepper plants with more force than before.

  “Just trying to help,” I prodded innocently. “You know, be a good neighbor and all that.”

  “Travis.” She put the gardening tool down. Finally.

  “Yes?”

  She took a deep breath. “If you want to go into town to have sex with Red Sugar, you don’t need to be here with me.”

  Everything in me stilled. This was what I’d come for, wasn’t it? This was why I’d said what I did, to see how she’d react. Now that she had, I was at a loss.

  Several long minutes stretched out in silence between us. Then she got up, gathered her tools, and went inside. Ripper got up slowly, nuzzled my hand, then followed her, leaving me standing alone in her garden.

  Thirty seconds, that’s about how long it took me to think about what I was going to do next. I had several options. I could go back to my house and jerk one off. I could go into town and make good on my implied (but totally bullshit) threat to see Sugar. Or I could clear this thing up once and for all.

  Decision made, I marched into the house. The sound of the shower turning on behind the closed bathroom door met my ears.

  Perfect.

  I stripped down and entered the bathroom (it wasn’t locked). Wrapped my package, then threw open the shower curtain and pushed my way into the surprisingly roomy stall. Rissa opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, I crushed my lips to hers, ran my hands down over her ass and under her thighs, lifting her up until her heels pushed into my ass.

  My cock was one step ahead of me, already poised and pointed at where it wanted to be. One thrust and I was balls-deep. Thank God, she was ready for me.

  It had been a little less than a week since I’d been inside Rissa, but it felt like forever. Three quick, brutal thrusts and I was erupting like a volcano. I know she felt it because her nails scored my back and she clamped down on me. Hard.

  Still rock hard, I pounded into her mercilessly until she followed me a few seconds later. Clearly, I was not the only one on the edge. Yeah, technically I came first, which I wasn’t particularly proud of, but I don’t think either one of us was going to quibble over a couple of seconds.

  I kept her wrapped around me, my kisses less violent but no less desperate as I walked us back to her bed. I brought us both to climax twice more before I pulled her close and fell asleep with her in my arms.

  Chapter 8

  Clarissa

  I felt Travis shifting away from me sometime around dawn. He was trying to be careful not to wake me, so I pretended to be asleep. I didn’t want to make it awkward.

  I heard him open the back door and let Ripper out. Then he padded around the kitchen quietly, filling Ripper’s bowls with food and fresh water. I have to admit, the fact that he took the time and effort to do those things softened some of the walls I’d built up over the past week. Each one was reinforced and extended with every day that passed without a word or a visit. I turned and buried my face into the pillow he’d used. I didn’t need to hear him sneaking out.

  The next thing I knew, the bed dipped down under his weight and he was sliding in beside me. Keeping up my guise of being asleep, I snuggled into him and heard him sigh softly before his breathing evened out and he went back to sleep.

  “Afghanistan,” he said quietly later as I traced the thick ridges that scored his abs, his left side, and lower back. “Car bomb.”

  I hadn’t asked for the information; I doubted he would have told me if I had.

  His long fingers traced similar patterns on my right hip and down my leg in a silent request to reciprocate.

  “Cadillac DeVille,” I said, my voice thicker than usual. “Seventy-six-year-old alcoholic.”

  I heard his slight intake of breath. His fingers stopped their tracing. His palm flattened against my ass and held me in place while he slid deep. Unlike last night, there was nothing urgent about this time. It was slow, gentle even.

  We had crossed a line somewhere. Or maybe several. Sleeping together. Sharing secrets. Lazy morning sex. Neither one of us seemed to be bothered by that.

  “Have you been to the lake yet?” he asked.

  “No,” I answered, stretching against him like a contented cat.

  “Think you can whip us up a picnic lunch while I hook up the boat and trailer?”

  That’s the thing about alpha males. They don’t ask if you want to do something, they just assume you will. It didn’t offend my sense of independence, though; I knew if I raised an objection he would have been game to do something else.

  “I think I can manage,” I said.

  He kissed the top of my head and slipped out of bed. I made no secret of the fact that I watched him get dressed with rapt attention.

  “Keep looking at my ass like that and you won’t get to see the lake,” he warned without turning around.

  “If you don’t want me looking at your ass, you shouldn’t have such a damn fine ass.”

  He grunted at that, a sound of smug male arrogance. He turned around then, and I noticed that he hadn’t done up his zipper. I followed his dark happy trail down, licking my lips. As fine as his ass was, his package was spectacular.

  He smirked. Cocky bastard.

  Until I took him in my mouth, that was. He yelled out, the word he chose carnal and raw. His head flew back and his hands cupped my head. I would have smiled if I hadn’t had such a mouthful.

  He tasted delicious. Hot and clean and male. He’d showered, but I could still taste a little bit of myself on him. I grabbed his hips and pulled him closer, loving the feel of him expanding against my tongue. I relaxed my throat and let him take control, thrusting into my mouth like he loved it.

  He bucked and came, muttering my name. I took it all, greedily. I’d never really seen the
appeal of going down on a guy before, but with Travis, I think I enjoyed it as much as he did. Giving him pleasure had given me pleasure.

  I stubbornly refused to analyze that.

  When the last of his shudders eased, his hands moved from the back of my head to cup my cheeks. He tilted my face up until I met his eyes. No one had ever looked at me like that.

  And in my heart, I knew... we’d just crossed another line.

  The surface of the lake was as smooth as glass before us, reflecting the ethereal blue of the sky and the wisps of clouds above. Tall evergreens filled in the slopes on every side. I lounged back in one of the padded captain’s chairs, content to soak up the sun while Travis steered. Ripper had two paws up on the side, catching the breeze with his tongue hanging out and a big doggy grin. He had come so far in the past week, it was amazing. He still had a limp, but hey, so did I.

  The scenery was gorgeous, but my gaze was glued to the best view of all – located about two feet ahead and slightly to my left. That was where Travis stood, legs slightly wider than hip-width. Khaki shorts slung low on lean, sculpted hips. Shirtless. Even standing still, his well-defined muscles were visible beneath the bronzed skin. Red furrows ran the length of his back, filling me with some primitive sense of satisfaction. Yeah, I’d marked him.

  Looking at Travis, I truly understood the word breathtaking. Masculinity at its finest.

  “You’re staring at my ass again.”

  “Not true,” I countered. “I’m also looking at your legs, your back, and your shoulders.”

  He grinned at that. We glided along, the electric trolling motor barely making any sound at all. There was a much larger, more powerful, gasoline-fueled motor, too, but we weren’t in any hurry. Travis guided us toward a shady spot, where massive weeping willows hung over the water and created a curtain of privacy.