Hungry Heart: Part Two

by Haze, Violet

  It doesn’t last long. I feel his cock probing at the entrance to my pussy, but he doesn’t go in. Instead, he stops and groans, his voice deep as his fingers dig into my hips. “Will you break up with me if I fuck you without anything Caroline? Tell me you’ll break up with me or I’m not going to stop. I’ve always used protection, earlier today was the first time I never…god, you felt so fucking good.”

  I admit, I’m shocked. So surprised at his admission I don’t say anything and he starts talking again.

  “It’s just you for me, sweetheart. And I know it’s the rules, but fuck the rules. You’re my girlfriend, too. Can’t we make up our own fucking rules?”

  “Benedict—”

  He lowers my body, his cock entering me a little bit more, and streak of pleasure makes me whimper, cutting off what I was going to say. He practically growls his words into my ear now, wanting his answer. “Are you going to break up with me? Yes or no?”

  I should. Earlier I could blame on him being drunk, but now he’s asking me to blatantly ignore the rules. And making me choose. It should be black and white, I should climb off and say it’s over, but I can’t. No, I can, but I don’t want to. I’m caught and I’ve no wish to escape, no matter what the consequences are.

  Because here, in front of him and in his grip, and not alone, I’m still me. I won’t pretend I don’t want this and I won’t pretend I don’t know what it might do. We’re looking at each other and we see everything we want, and everything we need, and everything we shouldn’t be doing.

  Earlier we stepped over a line and we shouldn’t have. We should stop, but we don’t. Instead we’re going to keep on walking right past the line as if we didn’t see it.

  “No,” I finally whisper, giving into my desire over my rationality, and that’s all he needs.

  He yanks me down hard while thrusting up into me and makes me scream just like he promised while I fall in love with him a little more.

  7

  A phone ringing jolts me out of a deep sleep the next morning.

  Well, afternoon technically, as the time on my phone when I pick it up indicates it’s twelve-thirty. Seeing it’s Nathan, and Benedict continues sleeping soundly next to me, I slip out of the bed and into the bathroom before answering.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey baby. Did I wake you?”

  “Uh, yeah, it’s okay though. How was your trip? You didn’t text me.”

  He yawns, the sound loud enough I need to move the phone away from my ear until he’s done. “Exhausting. I didn’t get much sleep. Sorry I didn’t say goodbye yesterday, I didn’t want to wake you up. How was your day?”

  “Oh, um, it was okay.”

  My own statement makes me wince, especially when he doesn’t say anything right back, as if he’s trying to find something in my voice. Which, of course, he does because we just know each other too fucking well.

  “Are you all right, baby? Did something happen?”

  “I uh…I spent the day and night with Benedict. Miranda and Len are having a baby, and she…well, she broke up with him.”

  “Shit.”

  “Yeah.” I pause, biting my lip while my brain screams at me with my own guilt. Tell him, it shouts.

  “Anything else bugging you?”

  I start to wonder if he’s able to read my mind, or if the way I’m acting is a dead give away I want to tell him something. Then I realize I’m sitting naked in a bathroom I went to so I could speak in private to my boyfriend in my other boyfriend’s house. I’m an adult, I can do this, and I know it’s the right thing to do.

  “Benedict and I are pretty serious, Nathan.”

  “Yeah, I know. Just like me and Rissa. I’m happy for you.”

  “It’s…it’s different Nathan. You know, from me and you? I didn’t see it the way you said you did the other day, but—”

  “What?” There comes the change in his voice, from laid back to alert, as if he’s waiting for some bad news. “Is something wrong?”

  “No, well, um, maybe. Look—”

  “Nathan,” a woman’s voice says in the background. “Where’s my—”

  Her voice cuts off and Nathan says, “What, Caroline? Sorry.” I hear a door shut and he continues. “You know my secretary, she came with me. What were you saying?”

  Yeah, I know his secretary. I didn’t hear her well enough to know if it was her, but now I’m angry. “Your secretary? You didn’t tell me she was going with you.”

  “We work together, baby. She goes with me everywhere business related.” He sounds impatient and I hear a drawer slam before he continues speaking. “Now, what’s wrong?”

  “Benedict was drunk yesterday when I arrived and didn’t use protection.” I spit out the words, which is not how I wanted to deliver the information, but I think my own guilty conscience is putting trouble where there is none.

  There’s a huge, pregnant pause after that and I would think he’s hung up except for the sudden slamming of another drawer. Out of a need to say something, I add, “And I didn’t notice until it was too late. But then,—”

  “Stop, baby. I’m not sure what the problem is here or why you sound so upset about it.”

  It’s one of those moments where my head jerks back like I’ve just been smacked in my face and can’t believe it.“Uh, what?”

  “You’re on birth control. He’s not sleeping with anyone else is he?”

  I can’t help but blink in rapid confusion as my brain tries to wrap itself around his calm question. This isn’t what I expected at all. “No, just me, but the rules…?”

  He laughs, and all the sudden, his voice is back to it’s normal laid back sound. “Wow, you really took those literal, didn’t you baby. No need to sound all terrified I’m gonna be mad. I’m not like that. I thought he hurt you or something for a moment.”

  Now I’m really fucking perplexed. “Nathan…?”

  “You two are together, not just having casual sex. Protection is necessary if you’re just getting to know someone, but if you’re both clean and he’s not having unprotected sex with anyone else, why in the world would you think I’d be upset?”

  “Oh…wow. I’m…so…” A tear I didn’t know was there slips down my cheek and I sniffle. “I felt so fucking bad last night because we did it again and…and—”

  “Baby, calm down. You’ve got a severe guilt complex going on. Perhaps it’s time you saw your counselor again?”

  “No.” It comes out with a huff attached to it. “A rule is a rule, that’s what I was always taught. And the first time was on accident, but later it was a choice, and in the moment, I didn’t care what you thought.”

  “Good for you, baby.” His voice is back to being curt as he slams another drawer and I wonder what the hell he’s doing. “You’re not a robot, for fucks sake, and I don’t own you or your choices. Whatever you decided is fine.” Another pause. “Look, I gotta go now, got a meeting soon.”

  “Well…okay then. Do you know when you’ll be back?”

  “Not yet. Love you baby. Talk later.”

  He hangs up before I can respond and I lower the phone, shutting it off as I stare at it like I just finished having a conversation with an alien. I’m not sure how long I’m sitting there, but I jerk my head up when the door opens.

  Benedict leans against the frame and crosses his arms while lifting a brown in question. “What’re you doing in here?”

  “Nathan called and I didn’t want to wake you up by sitting there talking.”

  “Ah,” he says, holding a hand out to me. “I was about to say my bathroom is clean, but it’s not really a place you wanna just hang out, is it?”

  I stand up with a shake of my head, and slip my hand into his. Leading us back to the room, he takes the phone out of my hand and places it on the nightstand before lifting me and placing me in the center of the bed. Lying down, he pulls the blankets up to cover both our bodies, and curls his body around mine so I’m trapped.

  “Want to tell me
why you looked like somebody killed your non-existent cat when I came into the bathroom?” My groan at his reminder of my excuses only makes him laugh and with a soft peck on my lips, he says against them, “Seriously, tell me.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  “Then I’ll have to beat you.”

  “Ooh, I’m scared now.”

  “Caroline…”

  “Benedict.”

  “How old are you again? Twenty-one?” He chuckles, snuggling me closer as I give in to a small laugh of my own. “You told him didn’t you?”

  “Yeah…and he didn’t give a shit, basically.”

  “Well, I’m sure that’s a relief.” The fact his body relaxes next to mine makes it obvious he was at least a little worried himself. “Seems you thought he’d be pretty upset, so why aren’t you pleased he doesn’t care?”

  “I am. Relieved, I mean.”

  He readjusts until he is leaning on one elbow and looking down at me, eyebrows lifted in question. “But…?”

  “There was a woman with him. He said it was his secretary. I didn’t hear much; either she didn’t know he was on the phone and stopped talking once she saw, or he cut her off.”

  “You think he’s cheating?”

  “No.” My answer is instant, but not completely true, and I frown at my own uncertainty. “I don’t know. It doesn’t fit him. I mean, I have no reason to doubt him, at all.”

  “A bit of a severe reaction to just hearing a woman’s voice. What else happened, Caroline? I know you’re more rational than this.”

  My lips wobbles then, my watery gaze caught in his increasingly kind one. “He was rather abrupt with me, as if I were annoying him with my worries. He went from normal to…to that, and I stared at my phone like that after because it was like…well, I was stunned. He seemed like he couldn’t get off the phone fast enough.”

  “So, I need to kick his ass when he comes back, is what you’re saying?”

  “No…no, I don’t think so. I’ve no reason not to trust him. He said he was tired, maybe he really had to go. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but…”

  “But, you can’t help it because you’ve never been apart like this.”

  “Yeah.” I smile up at him and slide my arms around his neck. “I think that’s part of it. And my own little issue with last night. I think it’s all getting to me.”

  “Let me take your mind off of it then.” He lowers his head, brushing his lips over mine once, twice, and cups my breast in his free hand as I open my mouth to let his tongue explore inside. It’s a slow, lazy dance of seduction, and it might’ve gone further if my stomach hadn’t chosen to growl.

  Chuckling, he drags his lips away, the hand on my breast sliding down to rest on my belly while grinning down at me. “Guess what you really want is some food?”

  “Raincheck?”

  His answer isn’t verbal. Instead, he bends over the bed, picks me up, and tosses me over his shoulder.

  He tortures me by tickling my feet all the way to the kitchen, and I pay him back a little later with a tiny surprise called whipped cream when he turns his back on me like a moron.

  8

  Later in the evening, Benedict has to go to work, and I join him.

  When we arrive, it’s pretty quiet. Frank’s the only other person there, so when Benedict goes into his office to deal with some things, I take a seat at the bar.

  “You here for the whole day, darlin’?”

  “I’m here for as long as he is tonight,” I reply with a wink. “Make me the drink I never got to finish the last time?”

  “Coming right up.” He grabs a glass, working his magic as I sit there and watch, then sets it in front of me with a smile. “On the house. Enjoy.”

  “Oh no.” With a shake of my head, I hand him the money for it. “You have to let me pay.”

  “Nope. Benedict said you get drinks for free.” Seeing the scowl on my face, he shrugs and holds out his hand. “How ‘bout you just make it a generous tip and we’ll call it even?”

  “Deal.” Slapping the ten in his hand, I say, “Keep the change.”

  After sliding it in his pocket with a grin, he leans in real close as I take a sip of my drink and whispers, “How’s he doing?”

  “How much do you know?”

  “Enough to wanna give Len a matching shiner on the right side of his face.”

  “I can’t believe Benedict punched him. Didn’t strike me as the physical type of guy.”

  “Nah, he’s not really. So?”

  “He was drunk the next morning but I went and took care of him.”

  “I bet you did.”

  “Perv.” When he chuckles and steps back, I roll my eyes and take a few more sips of my drink, before smiling at him. “I think he’ll be just fine. He’s hurt, but he saw it coming, and so did you.”

  “I hate to say I told you so…”

  “Shut up, no you don’t. You might not’ve wanted to be right ‘cuz you care about Benedict, but you’re happy to tell me you were spot on.”

  “Yep.”

  He turns away to continue setting up, so we fall into a comfortable silence while I drink, and after a little while I decide to speak up again.

  “Did you have a nice Christmas, Frank? Spend it with your family?”

  Tossing me a smile over his shoulder, he nods before turning back to his task. “Yeah. Me, my five sisters, and my parents had a blast. You?”

  While shocked to learn Frank has five sisters, it’s nice to learn a little bit about him, and I share what little I can with him. “Nah, my parents are in London. Nathan had to go on a work trip, so I spent the day with Benedict.”

  At that, he turns, brows lifted together in obvious surprise. “Really? Did you go with him to see his parents too?”

  “No.” Finishing off my drink, I sit the glass down with a grimace. “Wow, that’s really sweet at the end.”

  “Want another?”

  “Mm-mm, not right now.” He takes the glass, turning to the back counter as I ask, “Was he supposed to go see his parents?”

  “He usually goes on Christmas day. But I suppose if he was drunk, he wouldn’t’ve been able to drive anyway.”

  Interesting. I don’t remember Benedict being on the phone at all, and wonder if he called them the night before to tell them what happened. At least, in general, not specifics. I decide I’ll ask him about it later, and tug my buzzing phone out of my pocket, where there’s a text from Ethan, who must’ve finally gotten over our little discussion the other morning.

  “Hey. :) How’s it going? How’s the boy toy? Did you have a nice Christmas?”

  The fact Ethan still calls Benedict my boy toy is amusing, since he’s older than both of us and Nathan. “Everything is fine. I’m at the club chatting with Frank right now now while he works. How was yours?”

  “Yeah,” he replies almost instantly. “All good. Destiny and I will be there later. :P Save me a dance?”

  “Of course.”

  “Good. And sorry about the other day. They’re your relationships, I don’t have a right to tell ya how to deal. You know I get it even if I disagree.”

  “Yeah, I do. It’s okay. :) Love you, see you later!”

  “Ditto.”

  “So,” I say to Frank’s back as I put my phone on the counter with a soft tap. “Tell me about this family of yours. Five sisters and no brothers in sight?”

  “Nope. And I’m the youngest.”

  “Ah, I get it now.”

  He turns with a quirk of his brow and amusement tugging at the corner of his lips. “What do you get?”

  “Why you’re single.”

  I’m clearly teasing him, and he knows it because he laughs and shakes his head. “I’m single because I’m always at work, and am not interested in meeting girls who frequent clubs. I like me someone who’s a computer geek, that way I know they’ll always be at home.”

  “You know how you find a girl like that?”

  “How?”

/>   “Online dating.”

  His facial expression changes from interested to ‘no way in hell’ as he shakes his head again. “Nope. Not gonna happen.”

  “Why not? I did it. That’s how Nathan and I met, actually.”

  “Because I don’t trust people on the internet. Bunch of liars and fakes.”

  At that, I laugh, giving him a pointed look. “Because people who meet under regular circumstance like in a bar or in college like Benedict and Miranda did are always honest and real?”

  He holds up a finger, opens his mouth, and shuts it before glaring at me. Then, he does something extremely juvenile: he sticks his tongue out at me for a second before saying with a laugh, “Fucking logic doesn’t belong here. Get away from my bar.”

  “I love you, too. How about another drink for me and whatever Benedict usually has. I’ll take it to him.”

  He winks and does as I request, and a few minutes later I enter Benedict’s office after giving a soft knock. He doesn’t look up from his work, where he has a pen in hand and a pencil between his teeth, as I approach. Once at his desk, I set the drinks down as gently as I can, and walk around until I’m standing next to his chair.

  I know he knows I’m standing there, but I like how he pretends he doesn’t realize I’m here. It gives me a chance to study him. His hair is ruffled like usual, but more than normal, which means he’s probably been running his hand through it. The spicy and sexy scent of his cologne mixed with the clean ocean scent of his shampoo from the shower he took after the whipped cream fight teases my senses, making me wish we could have sex right now.

  Well, I know we could, but I don’t want to disrupt his work. So, I bend a little and lean in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. I intend to do that, take my drink, and go sit on the sofa, but he seems to have another idea. In a reaction I probably would’ve found impressive were I not trying to catch my breath, he slicks an arm around my waist, pushes his chair back, and plops me into his lap with a chuckle. I take the pencil out of his mouth and toss it away, not caring where it lands as he gazes down at me with a grin filled with naughtiness while I lie across him, my legs dangling over one arm of the chair.