Shutdown Player New

by dlady

  “Good, but you’re still telling Izzy. Or I’ll make your life a living hell.” Bella said this last bit with a smile, but Steph believed her words nevertheless.

  “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

  “Promise? Because if you don’t, I will.” Bella crossed her arms and leveled Steph with a determined glare.

  “I promise.” Steph sniffed and blew her nose.

  “And Vi, too.”

  “Yes, and Vi.”

  “Good. What happened wasn’t your fault. Remember that.”

  “I was the weak one. I believed him no matter what he told me, and I couldn’t seem to get away. He was so sorry whenever he hurt me… Promised he’d never do it again. I wanted to believe him. Heck, I thought I was in love with him. My parents hated him, and when I got pregnant, they tried to convince me to leave him. I wouldn’t. Instead, we ran away.”

  Bella’s brow furrowed. “Where’s the baby?”

  Steph looked down and wiped her eyes again. She hiccupped and bit back a sob. Everything inside her spasmed with an uncontrollable pain. It ripped through her as sure as the sharpest knife and left her gutted. “I lost it.”

  “I’m sorry. So very sorry.” Bella reached over and patted her arm. Somehow, Steph managed to hold it together, but it took super-woman strength.

  “It was just one of those things.” She glanced up at Bella and saw the disbelief in her eyes. Bella clearly suspected Gino played a part.

  “You must tell Izzy and Coop about his threats.”

  “I will,” Steph agreed again, even though she didn’t want to involve them. They’d done so much for her already. What if Gino was vindictive enough to hurt them or Riley and Connor? She’d never be able to live with herself. She’d made a huge mistake unloading to Bella.

  “Could we go now? I’m really tired. I need to get some sleep.”

  Bella nodded. “Sure. You’re not alone, Steph. You have us. All of us. We care about you.”

  “Thank you. That means a lot.”

  And it did. She was on the road to finding herself and the woman she could’ve been until Gino surfaced.

  Gino or no Gino, she could do this. And she would do this.

  * * * *

  Jared sat down in the coffee shop and waited for his date. He was ten minutes late, but not so late she should’ve left already. He glanced around. Midafternoon on a Tuesday, the place was all but empty except for an older couple and a couple of college-aged girls. They looked up and giggled when they saw him.

  He turned away from them and walked up to the cashier. After ordering a mocha, he said, “Was there a single woman in her earlier, mid-twenties? I was supposed to meet someone, and I’m late.”

  “There have been a few women fitting that description. What did she look like?” The middle-aged barista regarded him through thick glasses.

  Now this was embarrassing. “I don’t know.”

  “I see.” The barista arched her brows. Oh, yeah, she considered him a moron. She might not be too far off the mark.

  He’d planned on arriving a half-hour early, but he’d gotten hung up at the practice rink signing autographs for a peewee hockey team who’d been in the stands. He couldn’t bring himself to leave before every kid got what they’d come for.

  He took a seat toward the back of the room facing the door. The college girls were glancing back and him and giggling all the more. One of them held up her phone and took a selfie with him in the background. It wasn’t long before they were gathered around him, begging for autographs and more selfies. He accommodated them graciously but blew out a breath of relief when they finally left the coffee shop.

  The little bell over the door tinkled, and he glanced up expectantly. This had to be her.

  His heart skipped a beat, his throat went dry, and his cock stirred to life.

  It was her, all right—just not the her he’d been expecting.

  Steph froze in the door, her beautiful lips slightly parted and her look one of surprise. She hadn’t expected to see him here.

  Their gazes met and caught. He’d probably been watching too many Hallmark movies, but it was that moment when the hero and heroine looked into each other’s eyes and the entire world stood still. They were the only two people in the room, and even if they wouldn’t admit it, they knew Cupid’s arrow had pierced their hearts.

  Jared’s world might be standing still, but his heart was doing cartwheels, and his dick was pulsing like a drum.

  “Steph,” he said in barely a croak, breaking the spell cast between them.

  “Jared.” On stiff legs, she moved toward him. “What’re you doing here?” She stopped at the table, and he indicated the chair next to him.

  “Have a seat.”

  She did. “Shouldn’t you be on a date right now?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, but another no-show. Go figure.”

  “How late were you this time?” She sounded exasperated with him, and he had to smile.

  “Only ten minutes. What are you doing here?”

  “The sisters sent me for lattes.”

  “Really? I thought they were tea drinkers?”

  “Me too. Go figure. Let me give them a call to see if they’ve heard from your date.”

  Steph stood and moved a few tables away, her back to him. He couldn’t hear her muffled conversation, but he did have a great view of her fine ass in blue jeans. For once, the jeans fit, and she looked hot and edible and—

  Oh, God. He couldn’t start this up again. She’d been his fantasy companion every night on the road trip. This insanity had to stop. He couldn’t keep driving himself mad like this. Something had to change.

  She came back to the table and sat down. “They’re sorry. They’ll check into what happened.”

  Jared’s phone buzzed. He looked down at it. Tell Steph to cancel order for coffee. Changed our minds. Could you give her a ride home?

  He held it up, so Steph could read it. “That’s odd, but I don’t need a ride. Giles is waiting for me.” She pointed out the window where the Bentley was parked across the street. A second later, it pulled into traffic and disappeared.

  “I guess you do.”

  Steph laughed, and he felt the sound deep in his bones. Her laughter brought him joy like no one else he could imagine.

  “Steph, I’m sorry about Thanksgiving. I was out of line. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “It’s okay. It’s not your fault I’m skittish.”

  He chuckled and reached for her hand on a whim, squeezing it. Her hand was so small and warm in his, and for a moment, he couldn’t stop staring at their entwined fingers. They both lifted their gazes at the same time, and the world stalled again. She gave a little tug, and he immediately released his hold. She didn’t jerk her hand away as expected, but let it stay against his palm for a second or two before tucking it in her lap.

  “I haven’t had lunch, and I’m famished,” he said. “How about an early dinner? My treat. I hate to eat alone. Speckles down the road has a wicked happy hour menu.”

  He should know; Speckles had become one of his go-to places since the divorce. He could get cheap beer and a decent dinner for very little money.

  “Speckles?”

  “Yeah, named after Gilbert’s cat. Gilbert is the owner.”

  “I see. Do you go there often?”

  “Yeah, I don’t cook much beyond coffee and frozen dinners.”

  “Coffee isn’t exactly cooking.” She giggled, and her eyes lit like the northern lights.

  “It is to me. So how about dinner?”

  “You’re on.”

  Mom had always told him if he played with fire he was sure to get burned. If the heat in his groin area was any indication, he was going to ignite.

  She was a friend, damn it. He could have a female friend without turning it into something else. Now if only he could get his dick to agree.

  Chapter 10—Misconduct

  Steph had the best time at dinner. They shared steak bites, a Caesar salad
, garlic bread, and a chocolate mousse. Jared had a couple beers, and Steph decided to be daring. She ordered a glass of wine for liquid courage. For once, she wanted to relax and have fun. It helped, of course, that they were just friends, nothing more. No pressure, no expectations. Just the two of them enjoying each other’s company without worries about what might happen afterward.

  Jared was funny, attentive, and sweet. They talked about all sorts of things. Steph was surprised how much they had in common. Jared talked about junior hockey and living in a billet home with a great family. Steph talked about singing in the church choir and planting flowers in the front yard of her childhood home. She found out he loved The Sound of Music and Grease, just like her. They both thought cotton candy was the best reason to go to a carnival, and liked roller coasters, even though Steph had only been on one.

  The night ended too soon. Before she knew it, they were walking to his car on a windy, rainy night. The weather would’ve been ominous if it hadn’t been for the warmth of Jared’s smile. He reached for her hand as they walked the four blocks to where he’d parked. She should’ve pulled away, but she didn’t want to. She was wrapped in a warm cocoon of joy, helped along by the wine.

  He caught her quick look and smiled, offering his explanation of why they were holding hands. “This isn’t the best neighborhood.”

  “I know.” She leaned into him, and he squeezed her hand. She shouldn’t have done it, but she allowed herself to pretend they were on a real date. She’d felt like she was and couldn’t deny the electricity in the air between them. Surely, he’d noticed it, too. She’d felt lust with Gino, but not this overwhelming feeling of being with the one you were meant to be with. Jared made it easy, and wasn’t that how it was supposed to be?

  She’d signed an agreement. She had too far to go to heal. She couldn’t get involved with him.

  What was the harm in pretending for a little while longer, especially when her world was so much brighter with him in it?

  The ride home went too quickly. They laughed and chatted all the way, and before she knew it, he’d pulled into a paved spot next to the garage near her stairs and out of sight of the main house. Instead of leaving the car in idle, he turned off the engine, but he didn’t get out and neither did she. Perhaps she wasn’t the only one who didn’t want this evening to end.

  He shifted in his seat so he was facing her as best as he could with the console between them. He searched her face as if looking for answers. She wasn’t nervous, thanks to the wine.

  Something was happening between them. Something wonderful and scary and incredible.

  When he reached for her, she met him halfway. Her arms went around his neck, and he cupped her face in his hands, holding her as if she were as delicate as one of Agnes’s china teacups.

  “Steph. You are so beautiful.”

  She parted her lips to respond, but his face was so close to hers, and she wanted him closer. He tilted his head and his mouth closed on hers, careful and gentle. He tasted her with a delicious thoroughness, which caused a throbbing need between her legs. She’d never been kissed with such sweet deliberation and reverence.

  She ran her fingers through his hair, reveling in the silky texture sliding through her fingers. Steph moaned as he continued his sweet exploration. She was burning up from the inside out, spinning slowly into an abyss of pleasure. He finally ended his slow torture and claimed her mouth with his, slow and insistent, yet almost tentative, as if he were waiting for permission to continue. She slid her tongue along his lower lip, and he groaned. His hands moved from her face and he wrapped his arms around her. She didn’t care that the console was jabbing into her stomach. Nothing mattered but him.

  She opened her mouth, welcoming him in, and he accepted her invitation. His tongue explored as slowly and languidly as his lips had earlier. Could a person come from a kiss? She didn’t know. She had very little experience with a man who was interested in her pleasure as much as his.

  Their kisses grew hotter and deeper until she couldn’t get enough of him. He slid his hands under her shirt, and they were warm on her skin. She closed her eyes, immersed in sensations and greedy for more. She wanted him to touch her.

  When he hesitated, she urged him on, breaking the kiss long enough to utter words of encouragement. She ran her own hands down his back and under his T-shirt, along his spine.

  “Fuck, sweetheart, you’re killing me,” he whispered in her ear, and rubbed his stubbled face across her cheek. He was killing her. Jared cupped her breasts through her bra, squeezed carefully, and ran a thumb over each tight nipple.

  “Kiss me there,” she begged. “Please.”

  He looked in her eyes, as if to make sure she was asking what he thought she was asking. Pushing her back against the passenger door, he unbuttoned her blouse and reached behind to unhook her bra with one flick of his fingers. He moved it upward and out of his way. Then he gazed down at her in the dim glare of the overhead outside garage lights.

  “You’re fucking beautiful.”

  She felt beautiful. Not cheap or used but cherished and cared for. He bent his head and ran his tongue over one nipple. Her breath hitched, and she dug her fingers into his scalp and arched her back. He circled the nipple with his tongue, while rubbing the other between his thumb and forefinger. When he took her in his mouth, she cried out, and he froze.

  Finally he looked up, concern in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, better than okay. Please don’t stop.”

  He lowered his head and went back to work, alternating between sucking and licking first one nipple then the other. She wanted to give him as much pleasure as he was giving her. Shyly, she touched his belt.

  “It’s okay. You can touch me there.” He took her hand and guided it to the large bulge in his pants. She gasped as she felt the size of him. “I like you touching me,” he said.

  Suddenly, he stiffened. At first Steph didn’t understand what was going on. Then she heard it. Riley was calling for Otto. Oh, no, he couldn’t catch them like this. She put her hands on Jared’s chest and pushed. He immediately sat back in his seat, looking a little dazed and a lot horny. Steph pulled down her shirt, not bothering with the bra.

  “I—I need to go.” She gripped the handle on the car door but didn’t bail out yet. She had to make sure Riley had gone back in the house. They sat quietly for several minutes, the only sound their rapid breathing.

  “He’s gone,” she said.

  “Steph, I—I—I don’t know what to say. That shouldn’t have happened.”

  “It’s okay. I wanted it too.” She’d needed to know what it felt like to be kissed by a kind, compassionate man, instead of one who believed everything was all about him, and she’d found it. Jared was better than anything she’d ever imagined.

  “I liked it. A lot.” He didn’t look at her but stared straight ahead.

  “Jared, this can’t happen again.”

  “I know.” He didn’t sound any happier than she felt.

  “I signed an agreement. The sisters trust me. I’ve broken that trust.”

  “I know.” The agony in his voice came through loud and clear, as if he blamed himself. She’d been a more-than-willing participant.

  Just friends?

  What a crock. They were more.

  She’d fallen hard and fast for him, and she didn’t think she’d ever be able to pick herself up.

  “He’s gone. I need to get inside.” She opened the door, not waiting for a response, and got out. He was at her side in a flash. Together they walked up the stairs leading to her small apartment.

  “I’ll check inside for you. I know how you are about that.”

  Steph reached the top of the stairs and stopped dead in her tracks. Jared ran into her back and grabbed her waist to steady her.

  “Are you okay?”

  Steph didn’t respond. Her feet were rooted to the top step. She stared at an envelope stuck in the doorframe and whispered, “No.”

 
“Steph, what is it?” He was so close to her ear that she could feel his warm breath.

  “I’m not sure.” She forced herself to take that last step onto the landing. Jared was with her. Nothing bad would happen. The note was probably from Izzy or Riley or even Vi. Steph reached for it with a trembling hand and shakily ripped it open. Jared gazed over her shoulder. His hands rested lightly on her hips, not penning her in, but offering support.

  She unfolded the single sheet of notebook paper and read the familiar scrawl.

  “No.” She whimpered, poised like a deer who’d seen a predator in the woods, ready to run. But where? She couldn’t run. She was home, the one place she felt safe, the one place that’d been her haven until now.

  “Steph?”

  She didn’t answer him, nor did she stop him when he gently took the paper from her hands and read what was written on it.

  * * * *

  Jared’s blood ran colder than ice on a hockey rink as he read the letter.

  Beautiful,

  I can’t forget you. You are mine. I’ll make you see that.

  Soon we’ll be together again.

  Steph stuck the key in the door, taking three attempts before she turned the deadbolt. He followed her inside, shut the door behind them, and locked it.

  “This is from him, isn’t it? Your ex.” He spoke calmly, with no emotion, in an attempt to keep her cool and rational. He could tell she was on the edge.

  “I thought he was in jail.” Like a robot, she walked to her small kitchen and poured a glass of water from a pitcher in the fridge, keeping her back to him. Her lack of an answer was his answer. He wanted to kill the fucker. Even better, torture the hell out of him. She didn’t need his anger right now. She needed his support. He had to dig deep to hold his anger at bay, but he could do it for her.

  “Has this been happening a lot?”

  “Not until—until lately. He left me alone for months.” Her voice was tiny, as if she’d been robbed of all her strength by one piece of paper.

  “We need to go to the police.”