Blinding Trust

by Jennifer Foor

  She nodded and looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “We’re halfway there, ya know.”

  “We can get through the rest. If I have to, I’ll have my mom take the kids to Disney again. By the time they get back, you’ll be feelin’ better. They’ll never know.”

  “What if something bad happens?”

  I got that she was afraid, but she was worrying about things that were set in place to make sure the cancer was gone. It was more important than anything, considering it was life and death. As upset as she was, there was not going to be any backing out. If I had to fight her, I would.

  I grabbed her hands and kneeled down in front of her. “Listen to me and hear me good. You are going to get through this.”

  She nodded. I leaned over and kissed her on the lips. She climbed under the covers and I climbed in behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist. “What would I do without you?”

  “You never have to find out, because I ain’t goin’ anywhere and neither are you.”

  Chapter 31

  Savanna

  The next couple of weeks went by too quick, probably because I didn’t want to do the radiation treatment. Colt was getting used to taking care of the kids and helping out. I felt fine, but he insisted on keeping with his program until everything was over with. It was summer, so the kids had plenty of time to help him out.

  For the most part, they did okay. I found myself sneaking behind them and picking up, or going into the laundry room and switching things over. I think I was so bored that I wanted things to do.

  I’d never read so much or watched television, until it was all I had to do. I wasn’t surprised when Zeke and Piper were plastered all over the news. When he found out about her being pregnant by another man, he started going crazy. One day while she wasn’t at home, the news reported that he had her swimming pool filled with trash. They said he paid someone to drain it and dumb tons of trash in it, including some of her favorite belongings. They talked about how the divorce was going to get ugly. As sad as it was for a marriage to end, I couldn’t feel bad for them. He’d tried to drag my son into a publicity scam and left him scarred. If we never saw Zeke again, it would be too soon.

  On the day of my first radiation treatment, I was petrified. I thought it was going to make me deathly ill and I’d have to be carried out of the place. It turned out, it was nothing like that at all. My oncologist had to do a couple extra things being that it was my first treatment. They gave me these tiny tattoos that were barely noticeable and went through all of the instructions with me in detail. I had to remain perfectly still and move only when the nurses told me to. The procedure itself only lasted about twenty minutes. The nurses called it baking time. Within an hour of arriving at the place, we were leaving, walking out of there like nothing had happened.

  Colt reached over and grabbed my hand while he drove. “What was it like?”

  “Actually, it was pretty simple. They said I might get tired, but that’s about it. I heard another woman mentioning that she’d done chemo and the radiation was much easier. She said she’s never been sick one time from it and this was her thirtieth session.”

  “Damn, she must have it bad. It’s a damn shame they don’t have a better cure. You’d think after all these years they’d have found one by now.”

  It was a shame. So many lives were lost every day to some form of cancer. I had to be glad that mine was detected so early. It had been removed and we were taking all of the precautions to make sure it didn’t show it’s ugly face ever again.

  It took another month after my radiation was over before my doctor would agree to do the mastectomy and reconstruction. They were very kind about the whole process. After measuring the cup size of my real breasts, the doctor told me he would do his best to make my new ones look as natural as possible. For some reason, by the time I got to this step in the process, I was more optimistic, instead of afraid. Sure, there was always going to be a chance that I developed some form of cancer again, but with routines checks and a healthy diet, it was possible to beat the odds.

  I had so much to be thankful for in my life and I’d learned to appreciate the little things, because sometimes, they are what matter the most.

  I’ll never forget the day of my surgery. After the family was sure I was cancer free, Ty had a field day with me getting implants. Even Colt started to joke about it.

  They called me Sagfree, whenever they were together. As much as I loved that they were getting along, I didn’t appreciate Colt getting on the Ty bandwagon.

  Colt drove me to the hospital with a smile on his face. I remember turning and giving him a dirty look. “What are you so happy about?”

  He grabbed my hand and kissed it, like he always did. “Well, my wife doesn’t have cancer. My kids are healthy and my business is growin’. I’d say that’s enough to smile about.”

  “Colt we’re driving to have my breasts removed. I hardly think it’s a smile kind of day.”

  “You do realize that your breasts are going to look like they did when we first got together. Forgive me for bein’ an ass, but I’m a little excited about that. I can still picture seeing you naked for the first time. It gets me all kind of crazy.”

  I could feel myself blushing. “I love how you can be so serious and mature one second and then a normal thinking guy the next.”

  “What can I say, I’m pretty darn irresistible.”

  I laughed and nudged his side. “You’re lucky you’re so damn sexy and you’ve given me three beautiful children that look just like you. Otherwise, I may have had to slap you around from time to time.”

  He put his arm around me. “Darlin’ you can slap me around whenever you want. I know you like it rough.”

  “That’s our secret!”

  “Fine by me.”

  Since the procedure was more extensive, I had to wait in the pre-surgical unit longer than the last time. Colt stood beside my bed the whole time. He played with my hands or leaned over to kiss me a bunch of times.

  I wouldn’t say that this all changed him, but it did make him more in tune with us. Instead of focusing on the ranch and coming home all tired, he spent more time at home. The kids loved him being around and they understood that their dad had obligations. If something happened where he needed to run out, we could always count on him getting back as quickly as possible.

  I wasn’t nervous until the doctor came in and said they were ready. I started crying for some reason, while Colt held my hand.

  The doctor patted me on the arm. “Savanna, this is the easy part.”

  “It’s going to hurt.” I’d had enough people tell me that after an implant it was excruciating.

  “I will give you something to manage the pain and after a couple weeks you’ll be back to your normal self. The good part is that you’re not going to be sick. The worst is over.” He was reassuring, even if I was being skeptical.

  “Darlin’, I’ll be right here when you get done.”

  Unlike the last time, when I was put under, during my surgery, I had the most vivid dream. I dreamed that Christian was getting married. She was so grown up and beautiful. Addy was in college. She wanted to be a vet. Noah, who looked identical to his father, worked along side him running the ranch. The wedding was taking place at the barn where her father and I had married. She’d decorated it the same way and even rode in on a horse. It was breathtaking.

  Our family had grown, and everyone was older, but yet they were all still around.

  When I woke up, I almost wanted to ask to go back to sleep. I wanted to see my babies all grown up again.

  Colt was sitting in chair, playing on his phone.

  “Hey, you.”

  He got up and came over to the bed. “Hey. How are you feelin’?”

  “I’m not in any pain.” He kissed me softly on the head. “I had the best dream. The kids were older. Christian was getting married.”

  “Who was she marryin’?” Colt cocked his eyebrow and I could tell he was o
ffended.

  “Wow, are you going to be one of those dads that doesn’t let their daughters out of their sight?” It hurt to laugh at him, but I couldn’t help it.

  “Let’s just say that when the times comes for that, me and Noah will be outside, cleaning our guns as they arrive.”

  “Our poor girls!”

  He chuckled. “I was a young man once. I know how they think.”

  I just shook my head. It was good thing that I was going to be around for all of this, because those girls were going to need me with a father like Colt. If he had it his way, they’d be wearing purity rings until they were thirty.

  Due to the extent of my surgery, I had to stay in the hospital overnight. This time, the kids were all allowed to come visit. By dinner time, my room was filled with flowers and little visitors.

  It was the first time that the girls had really been in a hospital, so they were very curious about what machine did what. After sharing my pudding and my bed, I had to hug them goodbye when visiting hours ended.

  This time, Colt didn’t spend the night. I was fine being alone for one night, while he was home with the kids. Noah offered to stay with me. If he would have been allowed, I probably would have let him. I never should have doubted his devotion to me. His love radiated off of him and we’d never been closer. I could sense that he still felt bad about what happened between us. It seemed like so long ago and we’d all decided to leave the past in the past.

  When they got home they all called to say goodnight. Colt wouldn’t get much sleep with two kicking girls in bed with him. He said the last time, he woke up and had a foot in his mouth and a knee in his nuts. While I laughed, I think he felt the pain as he talked about it.

  Between being uncomfortable and the nurses coming in to check out my drains, I didn’t get much sleep either. When morning came and Colt arrived, I was ready to roll out of there. Unfortunately, I didn’t get my release papers until later that afternoon.

  The kids made signs and the house was sparkling clean when we got home. Colt’s mother had made her famous fried chicken. I could smell it as soon as we got out of the truck.

  After dinner, the family headed out, leaving us with three wound up kids and a lot of leftovers. Colt and the kids formed an assembly line in the kitchen. One person washed, one dried and the other two put the dishes away. It was actually cute to watch them working together.

  I wasn’t exactly sore. It was more like I felt tight. My chest was wrapped up and it had to stay that way for a couple of days. I’d never cared much about my breasts until I had the new ones to look at. I didn’t know that they swelled up double in size.

  Colt and I got the biggest surprise when he unwrapped me to check on my drains. I was huge. His eyes were fixed on them, like he’d never seen boobs before. I actually had to wave my hand in front of him to get his attention. “Hello?”

  He grabbed my arms. “You know that I would never ask somethin’ like this if it wasn’t necessary.”

  I knew what he wanted and for some reason, I didn’t even get offended. “Go get your phone and take the picture.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

  Colt smiled the whole time he was sending Ty the picture. “I told him you went up a couple sizes. He won’t know they’re just swollen.”

  “They’re more than swollen. I look like I have cantaloupe breasts and they feel like them too.” They were hard and tender. “We better get them wrapped back up. I don’t want them pointing in opposite directions.”

  We laughed as Colt put the bandages back on. We’d no sooner finished when his phone started ringing. Colt answered and put it on speaker.

  Why didn’t you tell me you were going so big? Holy shit you’re huge!

  I hope you enjoy the picture. This counts as your thirty second show, cuz.

  Colt ended the call and ignored it when it rang again. He turned it on vibrate and walked me over to our bed. “He won’t stop calling, you know.”

  “I don’t give a shit. I ain’t answerin’ him. There’s more important things to do.” He covered me up and kissed me slowly on the lips. “If you weren’t so sore, I’d be all over those new titties.”

  I was a little weirded out by the tattooed nipples. From afar they looked so real, even three dimensional. To feel them was different. They were flat and it was just going to be something to get used to. It was a good thing that my breast feeding days were over.

  “Trust me, as soon as I feel up to it, I’ll let you do whatever you want with these new titties.” I laughed at myself for using the same word he had used.

  He reached his hand between my legs and started rubbing me. “I’m so turned on right now, we may need to think of other ways to solve this problem.”

  I reached over and stuck my hand down his boxers. “I think I have some ideas.”

  Chapter 32

  Colt

  Savanna was sore for a good two weeks. She did her best to try and do as much as she could, no matter how many times I told her I could handle it. I reckon she just had her way of doing things. Try as I might, I couldn’t get her system down.

  About two months after her mastectomy, and almost four months since her initial lump was removed, we were sitting in her doctor’s office waiting on results.

  We knew she would have to be tested frequently, but it’s hard to prepare when you don’t know what will happen.

  I held my wife’s hand and waited for the doctor to come in the room. She was shaking and maybe I was too. It was scary. Someone can be fine one day and dying the next.

  When he came in and told us that she was still cancer free, I think I took the biggest breath of my life. Savanna started to cry tears of joy. Sure, this was just our first of many tests, but so far she was beating it.

  I wanted her to be able to live to experience the dream she had of our daughter being married. When I married Savanna, I wanted nothing more than to grow old with her. I would do whatever I had to do, to make that happen.

  We took the kids out to celebrate the good news, but only Noah knew why. The look on his face was priceless and I don’t think his mother expected him to react the way he did. Noah threw his arms around her and just wouldn’t let go.

  When things finally settled down again, after a couple of days, I wanted to do something special for my wife. Since I normally worked in the office for a couple hours each day, she never came in to see what I was up to. It was a good thing, because planning a vacation wasn’t a fast process.

  I wanted it to be perfect, and to do that, I had to make sure every detail was precise.

  It was hard waiting until the paperwork was delivered. I had it sent to my mother’s house, so Savanna wouldn’t open it and get the shock of her life without me.

  After letting my mother in on my idea, she agreed to take the kids for the night. It wasn’t like I had to beg. The women would have watched them every day if I wanted her to.

  I told Savanna that I had to run into town to get supplies for the ranch. Instead, I went to buy flowers and pick up food from her favorite restaurant. She was under the impression that I was bringing home Chinese, so you can imagine the look on her face when I opened up two containers of filet minion.

  She put her hands over her mouth. “Oh, wow, what is this?”

  “Let’s go sit down and I’ll tell you.”

  I could see the burning excitement in her eyes and it was great because she had no idea what was going on.

  I ran into the kitchen and grabbed two plates and opened the bottle of wine I’d purchased. Savanna was sitting at the dining room table waiting for me. I was trying to be romantic, but I wasn’t exactly good at it. I couldn’t find fancy candles, so I lit a scented one. The room filled with the scent of hazelnut coffee. Savanna laughed at my attempts, but anxiously waited for me to spill.

  Once I poured our wine, I held up my glass. “I’d like to make a toast.”

  She put her glass up. “Okay.”

  “To our future!”

  She sipped
on her wine, while I put our food on our plates. “Are we celebrating my health, because I feel like you’re up to something?”

  She knew me too well. “Maybe I am.”

  She sat her fork down. “Colt Mitchell, you better tell me. You know I hate secrets.”

  “It’s a good one, I teased.”

  I loved seeing her excited. She'd been through so much. "I was goin' to wait until dessert to tell you. Since you obviously can't wait that long, I guess I have to spill." I walked over to where I had hidden the envelope. She saw me sit back down and looked puzzled. "I was thinking that it would be fun for us to get out of town for a while." "Are we going to Disney?" "This would be without the kids." "Oh." I pushed the envelope over. "I had this idea. Open it up and see what you think." "Oh my goodness. Are these real tickets? " "Of course they're real." I sorted out the papers and pointed. "I booked the same room we stayed in on our honeymoon. I figured we could make all that happen again." She started to cry. "This is the most perfect idea you've ever had.”

  “When do we leave?”

  “In two weeks. My mom is goin’ to take the kids and between her and your parents they will be taken care of. In fact, I doubt they will even miss us.”

  She got up from her chair and walked over to wrap her arms around me. “I plan on thanking you for this amazing trip the whole time we’re away.”

  I kissed her softly. As she pulled away and opened her eyes, I saw her smiling. “Darlin’, you can start thankin’ me right now.”

  She started laughing like I was joking. I shook my head and let out a chuckle. “I ain’t kiddin’.”

  “Yeah, I know you’re not.” She sat back down at her seat and took another bite. “You can’t buy me my favorite food and expect me to abandon it. Don’t worry, Colt. I have all night to satisfy your every desire.”