Twenty Months

by Alicia Rogers

  Rose placed one hand on Lizzie's knee to keep her still and moved the knives away with the other. "Cathy…" she said warningly.

  "Shut up, Rose!" Catherine shouted. "You were cut from this family a long time ago, this doesn't concern you." Eye darting back to Darcy she said, "Your mother and father must be spinning so hard in their graves right now they've got to be practically to China! Eva is here because I know your every move, boy, and I wanted you to know once and for all that I am done covering your ass. The press can have a field day with you!" She let out a nasty snicker. "Eva's pregnant as well. I suppose you'll want to marry her, too."

  Mouths dropped open, Darcy went ashen, and Lizzie, poor Lizzie rose from her seat with a deadly silence and walked away.

  "Lizzie, Lizzie wait!" Darcy called out hurrying after her.

  Both Jane and Charlotte made a move to get up, but Richard put a hand out to stop them. "Let them go," he solemnly ordered. "They need to talk."

  "I knew you were a nasty piece of work, Cathy, but I never thought you were capable of something so cruel," Rose said through gritted teeth.

  "Oh please!" Catherine gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes. "If Emma were here…"

  "If Emma were here, she'd very quietly gather up her things while I told you to go fuck yourself. Lizzie is everything Em and Marc would have hoped for in a daughter-in-law; she's sweet, and beautiful, and smart as a whip, and she loves that boy with all of her heart. They would adore her and you know it, so don't tell me you've done this to stop the Darcy/Fitzwilliam name from being sullied. You did this because you're a bitter, old bitch who will die alone."

  * * *

  "Lizzie, please! Could you just stop for a second?" Darcy reached out and grabbed her arm only to have her violently wrench free of his grasp.

  "Let go of me!"

  "Lizzie, stop and talk to me for god's sake!" he pleaded, taking hold of her again and spun her around so that they were face to face.

  She wasted no time slapping him hard across the cheek.

  "Did you sleep with her?" Lizzie asked him furiously.

  He hesitated, rubbing his cheek. "I…"

  "Did you?!" she screamed.

  "Yes," Darcy reluctantly admitted.

  "Oh my god…" Lizzie wildly ran her fingers through her hair with a frustrated sigh.

  "It happened after we came home from New Hampshire. I – I already had feelings for you and you were so angry with me, I just I wasn't thinking and I…"

  "So is this what you do, then? Whenever things aren't going exactly the way you want them to, you go out and bang the first woman you can find?"

  "No! It wasn't like that!"

  "Then what was it like?" Lizzie wiped at her face while blinking back tears. "A condom isn't some fucking myth like Santa Claus, they do exist and they do work!"

  "That's just it!" he exclaimed throwing his hands up. "I wore a condom! Lizzie, I swear to you…"

  "All this time, you knew – you knew you'd broken our contract and you went ahead and married me anyway! I was no longer legally bound to you, but I guess the precious Darcy name was just too important."

  "No," Darcy said head shaking, "this stopped being about that goddamn contract a long time ago! Lizzie, I married you because I lo-…"

  "Don't," she choked back a sob, "don't tell me you love me; not now. I don't want to be angry the first time I hear you say that."

  Darcy's eyes were pleading and he took a step forward – into a big puddle? He looked up from his soaked shoes into Lizzie's panic stricken face.

  * * *

  Richard arched his back in order to remove the ringing cell phone from his pocket and flipped it open. "Hello, you've reached the Ninth Circle of Hell. Satan is not in right now, but Cerberus is available to take your calls." He held the phone out to Eva. "It's for you."

  "Richard stop fucking around!" Darcy's voice could be heard booming from the other end of the line and Richard quickly put the phone back to his ear. The call ended a second later and he was on his feet. "Have them bring the cars around front," he ordered Lady Catherine, "mom, get Jesse and Daisy will you?"

  "Richard, what's wrong?" Charlotte asked worriedly.

  He swallowed. "Lizzie's water just broke."

  Chapter 30

  The After Dinner Payback. Part One

  Today was unquestionably not his fucking day.

  He was homeless and thanks to Task Master and Tallulah Does the Hula coming in fifth and ninth place respectively, he was also broke. Wickham groaned loudly as Darcy's phone yet again went straight to voicemail and decided to try his luck with Lady Catherine's call bell.

  The bored voice of one of Catherine's workers boomed out of the speaker. "Yes?"

  "Hi, I'm trying to get in touch with Mr. Darcy. Could you tell him to come to the front gate, please?"

  "Mr. Darcy is not here, sir."

  "What do you mean he's not here?" Wickham asked in disbelief. "He's supposed to be having brunch – which basically means Catherine will make sure they won't leave until sundown."

  "I'm afraid brunch is over, sir," was the disinterested reply.

  "Well, where is Anne?" he sighed. "Can I speak to her?"

  "Ms. De Bourg is not feeling well; I can't disturb her at this time."

  "Ms. De Bourg thinks she's an incubator for infectious diseases, it's all in her head this is nothing new! If you won't go get her, buzz me in so I can talk to her."

  His request was met with an audible sigh. "And you are, sir?"

  "Daniel Wickham," he said with an edge of irritation.

  "I'm sorry sir, I can't buzz you in."

  "Why the hell not?" Wickham could feel himself growing angrier by the second and the cold diffidence in the voice on the other end wasn't helping to curb his temper.

  "I think you know why, sir. Have a good day and a happy Easter to you if you celebrate."

  "Wait a minute!" he shouted futilely, and when he didn't get a response he took to angrily kicking the PA system's brick encasement. Swearing loudly Danny resigned himself to once again going through the chore of pulling out his phone, but this time (and thank all that is holy) the other line bothered to pick up.

  "Hello?" Anne's voice was raspy and she even made a point to wheeze and breathe heavily as though she were the goddamn English Patient.

  "Annie!" he greeted cheerily, sarcasm dripping from his tongue. "How are you? You're sounding as wonderful as ever."

  There was a cough and another groan. "What do you want, Danny? I'm trying to rest up and get rid of this flu."

  "The flu, huh? I didn't even know that was going around," he remarked offhandedly. "Listen, I've got a few things to discuss with that cousin of your's, but Darcy is unreachable at the moment. Where's he gone?"

  "Darcy?" she paused and Wickham got an earful of air as Anne hovered over the humidifier. "He's not here."

  Wickham screwed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth. "Yeah, we've established that; where did he go?" he asked her slowly.

  "Oh, Lizzie's water broke. They've all gone to Cedars except for mother, she decided to stay and finish her salmon, but I think she's getting ready to leave now."

  "Her water broke?"

  "Yeah; poor thing hadn't even made it into her eighth month yet," Anne said. "I hope she and the baby will be okay. I like Lizzie – she makes Darcy happy and lord knows someone in this family should be." Suddenly, crumbling into a fit of laughter she added, "Coach doesn't make baby carrying cases! That Richard, I swear."

  He frowned. "Um Anne, are you okay?"

  "I took a few Valium to help with my flu; I think they may be kicking in now…"

  "Oh, alright then; well you feel better, Annie," he told her without an ounce of genuine care in his voice.

  "I can't believe I fell for that," Anne said absently, still laughing.

  Wickham ended the call rolling his eyes. "Yeah, rest up darlin'."

  * * *

  The private waiting room in Cedars Sinai housed a motley, anxious crew.


  The Bennet family made a grand entrance with Frannie using all of her lung power to declare "Oh Lizzie! Where's my baby?" at the very top of her voice (this was to be followed with even louder shouts of disapproval when she learned that her Lizzie in fact, did not want her in the room for the birth). The twins, Lydia in particular, moaned about the wait time ("I swear to Christ I'm not sitting here for sixteen hours…unless I can stay home from school tomorrow. Daddy, can you write me a note?") before deciding to roam the hospital halls in search of a McDreamy equivalent that would be willing to ignore California's age of consent laws. Mary slouched herself in a corner armed with her iPod, a copy of Wuthering Heights, and a scowl. Sean Bennet casually perused Newsweek and wondered how in the hell he had ended up surrounded by such silly people.

  Jane, after Lizzie's colorful tirade against having Darcy present (read: "You can jump up my ass, Darcy! I don't want to deal with you right now! I mean it! Get. The. Fuck. Out!"), disappeared into the room to keep her sister calm and to take over hand holding duties just in case Lizzie decided to (purposefully) break Fitzwilliam's. So that left Charlie to keep himself busy by updating Georgiana via text. The girl wanted the full experience of being there and that called for cell phone pics of the parking lot, the waiting room, and the gift shop.

  Richard was full of nervous energy; Rose opting to take the girls home was a sweet gesture, but it left him without anyone to keep him sane. His mind went to what it was like when Daisy was born premature, all of the complications, the practically living in the hospital, and though everything turned out fine he couldn't help being terrified for his cousins. Daisy wasn't this early and Maggie certainly didn't have Lizzie's stress level when she went into labor. So he crossed and uncrossed his legs, he paced the floor, he leaned against the wall, and he spent every last dollar bill in his wallet on tiny cups of crappy hospital espresso.

  And for once in his life Henry found a way to be a useful part of the group: he brought everyone lunch from Carl's Jr. and even sprung for a few celebratory cigars, a bouquet of flowers for Lizzie, and a single red rose for Charlotte (who was so surprised and touched by the gesture that right then and there she decided she adored him. Soul patch and boring as all fuck stories be damned.).

  At hour ten, Frannie rambled about being underappreciated, Lydia scored the phone number of a sketchy looking orderly, Mary made it to the part where Heathcliff imprisons Cathy's daughter, Sean moved on to the latest issue of Time, Charlie reached level twenty five of 'Brick Breaker', Charlotte napped peacefully on Henry's shoulder, and Richard spotted Lady Catherine coming down the hall.

  "Oh this can't be real life," he muttered in disbelief and took off to meet Auntie half way. "What are you doing?" Richard sternly asked.

  Auntie looked positively taken aback. "You better check your tone, Richard. I'm here for the birth of my grand niece or nephew; what else would I be doing?"

  He gave a low, menacing laugh. "Is that right?"

  "I'm not in the mood for games young man," she warned.

  "I'm not surprised. You should be downright tuckered out after the action packed afternoon you've had." Grabbing Catherine by the elbow Richard called out over his shoulder, "Charles, a little help here?"

  "What are you…now wait a minute, I won't stand for this!" Catherine said loudly when a smiling Charlie took her other arm.

  "There are a few things I won't stand for either," Richard started as the two men dragged his thrashing Aunt down the corridor, "one: the way you speak to my mother – I'm sorry if my parentage isn't exactly on par with everyone else in this family, but it's been twenty six years. Construction on the bridge to getting the fuck over it should've begun long ago."

  "Unhand me right now! Richard, Charles, I mean it…!

  "Two: the little forums for your ego you like to call 'dinner parties'. If I want to know the best place in the world to eat foie gras, I'll get that information from Bourdain. At least I'll be entertained with the added bonus of not hearing you drone on for three hours straight. So, and I think I can speak for Darcy here as well you, go ahead and save some cash by not having the kid at Kinko's print our invitations."

  Catherine shrieked, "Bourdain is an overpaid thug!"

  "And three…" Richard said wrenching open the door to Auntie's limo without bothering to wait for the driver to scramble out, "I will no longer stand for your unmitigated gall. For years I sat idly by and watched you shit on the people whose lives you desperately tried to control—my own life included. I'm not going to do that anymore. Darcy and Lizzie will never know you had the balls to show your face at this hospital, because I'll never tell them. I'm going to let them carry on in the hopes they'll forget you ever existed. I'm going to make sure that the only 'Great Aunt' my baby cousin knows is their Aunt Rose, and as for my own children, you'll be lucky to see them in Sears Christmas cards."

  "I have never in all my life been treated in such a way! Richard, I will not…I won't…let me go! I have every right to be here, whether you like it or not this is every bit my family as it is yours!"

  "Family?" he snorted derisively. "Lady, you don't know the meaning of the word."

  "Watch your head, Mrs. De Bourg," Charlie gleefully instructed while he and Richard stuffed her into the backseat. He swiftly pulled out his phone, directing the camera on Catherine's flustered, seething face. "Smile for Georgie," he told her and popped off a shot.

  "Take care, Auntie and have a miserable life." Richard slammed the door on her ranting and waved as the limo sped off into the distance.

  "I've never seen you like that, Richard," Charlie said gazing at him in astonishment.

  He replied with a simple, "Yeah, well she pissed me off."

  xx

  When the twelfth hour was upon them, when Frannie had actually grown tired of complaining, when Lydia and Kit had taken a break from stalking around for men to watch a Friends re-run, when Mary had finished her novel and moved on to reading smutty fan fiction about the members of The Academy Is on her iPhone, when Sean found himself doing a puzzle in Highlights, when Richard had stopped pacing, when Charlie had run out of things to text, when Charlotte's nap had turned into a full-fledged bid for eight hours – when all of the steam had been practically sucked out of the room, Darcy emerged wearing scrubs and a weary expression.

  With all of their eager eyes focused on him (Henry took care to wake his sleeping girlfriend), Fitzwilliam ran a hand through his wild hair and grinned like a maniac.

  "It's a boy."

  * * *

  Baby Boy Darcy (all two pounds, eleven ounces of him) slept soundly while his mother, grandmother, and aunts peered in at him through the incubator.

  "He's so tiny," Kit cooed.

  Lydia softly chuckled, "And so pink."

  "Well, he is half Bennet after all." Jane smiled.

  "Welcome to a lifetime of freckles and bursting into flame when you step out into the sun, kid," Lizzie told her son while stroking the back of his little hand with her thumb.

  "Maybe he'll get lucky and Fitzie's genes will trump all of that pale Irishness," Frannie said and then glancing around at her daughters added a good natured, "but probably not."

  "What name did you guys decide on?" Mary asked.

  "We haven't." Lizzie gave a tired shrug of her shoulders. "I mean, Darcy and I batted a few ideas around, but we figured we'd have two months left to get it right."

  Kit's eyes lit up. "Can I name him?"

  "Are you mentally challenged?" Lydia snickered, punching her in the shoulder. "Lizzie's not gonna let you name her kid."

  Lizzie laughed, "Honestly, my mind's still spinning, so I'm totally open to suggestions right now."

  "How about Gerard? It's a good solid name," Mary said.

  "It's also the name of that lead singer who will never fuck you," Lydia sing-songed.

  "Lydia…" Jane began warningly.

  Mary glared darkly. "Eat shit."

  Frannie sighed, "Girls, watch the language for Christ's sake.
"

  "What?" Lydia looked the very picture of innocence. "He's gonna learn all of those words from Lizzie anyway," she teased. "You should go with Jaden or Gage," she told her sister matter-of-factly.

  "Eh…those are a bit too trendy for us," Lizzie said.

  Lydia rolled her eyes. "Duh, you make it stand out by spelling it differently!"

  "Aiden's a really cute name," Jane tossed out.

  "Yeah, but Aiden Darcy doesn't really roll off the tongue, you know?"

  "I've always liked the name Owen," Kit chimed in. "You don't hear it that often, it's nice."

  "Owen…" Lizzie repeated slowly, mulling it over, "I like that," she smiled and Kit giggled, obviously pleased with herself, and stuck her tongue out at Lydia.

  Chapter 31

  The After Dinner Payback. Part Two

  Darcy was all too happy to excuse himself from the room on the grounds that Lizzie should have a moment alone with her family. This not only afforded him a breather from all of the awkward silence coming from his wife's direction, but provided an opportunity for him to come down from the emotional rollercoaster he'd been strapped to since that afternoon.

  However, the sudden dip in those feelings took his brain from the joy of being a father and whipped it around an 'Eva's claiming to be pregnant with your child' bend, looping it back to the fact it would probably take an act of god to get Lizzie to speak to him again, and shot it straight down to 'Your first born is fighting for his life in the NICU' for the sort of drop people lined up in one hundred degree weather at Magic Mountain for. And like any rollercoaster worth its salt, all of that downward momentum caused the bottom to fall out of his stomach.