Secrets We Keep

by B. K. Leigh

  “For today, but you’ll still need to schedule that appointment.” She sends me an annoyed look. Like having to repeat herself more than once was a real pain. I don’t blame her though. I feel as if I spent the entire second half of the appointment stuck in my own head.

  “Where were you back there?” Cohen asks me as we make our way out of the building. His mother follows closely behind us, the smile from before still plastered on her face.

  My next appointment is in a month. One month to figure things out. One month to get my head in the game. One more month and I might start showing. Kathy hasn’t stopped talking about it. About how early she started showing with Cohen. The thought alone makes me feel ill. A part of me wants to hide it for as long as I possibly can, and the other part wishes I lived somewhere I didn’t have to. But the risk of everyone else knowing, and even Killian is way too great. He could be fired, lose his job, and I can lose any shot of a future I have. Although it’s looking pretty slim right about now.

  Chapter 4

  Tatum

  I’ve been staring at this shelf for what seems like an hour. Hoping that one of the small plastic bottles before me will jump out and magically land in my arms. Prenatal Vitamins. Seems like out of everything, choosing one of these might just be the death of me. Who knew there were so many kinds? So many options, so many goddamn colors, prices, names. As if my brain couldn’t focus enough, this just adds to the chaos inside. Just pick one. I tell myself for what feels like the hundredth time. Pick one before someone sees. I add. My hand darts out to the shelf before me and grabs the closest bottle in proximity.

  After the day I’ve had I head straight to the ice cream isle. The one thing I need most in my life right now is the biggest tub of Cookie Dough ice cream I can manage to find. There it is on the bottom shelf, hiding away from all the others is the best tasting sweetest snack I’ve ever had. Grandmas Cookie Dough ice cream. I swear I begin to drool just thinking about it. I grab it as quickly as I can, as if I can’t do it fast enough. Afraid someone else might get to it before me. I round the corner with the tub of goods in one hand and my bottle of shame in the other. Not watching where I’m going I slam directly into a brick wall. I feel myself falling before I can even manage to catch myself, and when I hit the ground I hit it at full force. The ice cream goes flying in one direction, and the vitamins in the other.

  “Jesus!” I hear a man say before me. “Are you okay?” The voice before me sounds familiar and against my better judgment I turn my head upwards until I’m making direct eye contact with the one man I’ve been trying desperately to avoid. The one man who makes up fifty percent of the situation I’m currently in. My cheeks redden with embarrassment.

  “Damn.” I whisper to myself. “That hurt.” I utter. I make my way to my feet slowly. Sore from the sudden assault and begin to collect my things.

  “Tatum.” Killian’s rough voice cuts out as I pick up the tub of ice cream from the floor. I turn my head in his direction. Mortified doesn’t even begin to describe the feeling flooding through my veins. “Is this yours?” His eyebrows pinch together in confusion and then become accusatory.

  “I-I-” My words jumble together in one giant stutter. “They’re uh-”

  “Tatum, are you?” Even he can’t get the word out. The one word that could condemn me for the rest of my life. The one word that could make this entire situation feel that much more real.

  “I-”

  “There you are!” My heart drops into my butt as Cohen comes around the corner and literally saves me.

  “Mr. Parker?” Killian looks from me to him. A million accusations swimming in his deep blue eyes.

  “Hey, Mr. Matthews.” Cohen keeps it cool, which is more than I’ve managed to do in the past five minutes. “Oh good, babe. You found them! Emma’s going to be ecstatic.” He shoots me a look that tells me to play along. I gladly oblige.

  “Yeah.” I answer with a shaky voice. “I was just-”

  “Thanks, Mr. Matthews.” Cohen plucks the bottle from Killian’s hand with a smile on his face. “My sisters been looking for these for an entire week now. Can’t believe we finally found them.” He rambles on. “Better get them to her before she has another one of her meltdowns.” He smiles widely and pins me with a stare. One I’ve had thrown my way on more than one occasion. All the while Killian still stands there stock still with a million questions rolling around his mind.

  “Yeah, let’s go Co.” My words are more steady this time. Even.

  “Babe?” A high pitched feminine voice joins our awkward threesome and takes her place at Killian’s side. A shock of jealousy hits me straight in the gut. “What’s taking you so long? Our reservation is at seven.” The woman latches on to Killian’s arm, digging her bright red claws into his bicep.

  “I just ran into some students. Miss O'Neil was just asking me what she missed in class today.” Now it was my turn to pin him with a “What the actual fuck are you talking about” look.

  “Don’t you get paid to do that in class?” She whines. “I’m sure they can figure it out on their own now, can’t you?” She turns her attention to me and Cohen, who instinctively places his body in front of mine. This woman is no threat to me, but Cohen’s being protective.

  “We were just leaving anyway. See ya in class, Mr. Matthews.” Cohen practically drags me behind him to the nearest check out moving at warp speed.

  “Cohen?” I say to his back. He still has a hold on me, even when we make it to his old rusted Bronco.

  “Are you okay?” He asks me next.

  “I would be if you’d stop hanging onto me like I’m a child.” I tell him annoyed.

  “I’m sorry I just… I don’t know. That didn’t freak you out in there at all?” He asks me seriously.

  “Of course it did! I just had my baby daddy find my prenatal vitamins after knocking me flat on my ass! Then I had to lie about said vitamins while his eyes accused me of unspeakable things,” I inhale deeply. “And then to top it all off… said baby daddy has a goddamned girlfriend.” I huff out annoyed.

  “Jesus, babe. Could your life be any more like General Hospital or what?” He takes a step out of my space and runs a nervous hand through his thick hair.

  “Seriously?” I ask incredulously. “All that just happened and that’s what you say to me?” I balk.

  “What else do you want me to say? After the day I’ve had I need to go home and smoke a bowl.” He admits. “Or five, preferably.” He adds shamelessly.

  “Well jeez, Cohen. If I knew how much of a burden this all was for you I wouldn’t have asked you to come.” I say annoyed.

  “A burden? Tatum you’ve gone and dumped the entire Empire State Building on my shoulders, and you don’t think it’s a burden?” He asks me with all the seriousness in the world.

  “Fuck you! Fuck you, Cohen!” I yell as I push against his stupid chest. I knew this was a bad idea. I knew he wouldn’t be able to handle this. I don't know why I agreed to even let him talk me into this stupidity in the first place.

  “Fuck me? Fuck you, Tate!” He yells back. “Now get the fuck in the goddamn truck so I can bring your ass home.” He says all too calmly.

  “I’m not getting in your stupid truck! In fact, I’m not going to speak to you ever again!” I tell him like a petulant child. Out of all the fights we’ve ever had this one seems the most ridiculous.

  “Stop being a baby, Tatum. Get in the truck before I put you in there myself.” He threatens. His face turns dead serious, and yet all it makes me want to do is challenge him even more.

  “Go fuck yourself, Co.” I tell him just as I side step him and stomp my feet half way across the parking lot.

  “Tatum!” He calls after me, his voice thick with frustration. “Tatum get back here!” He yells again. I ignore his threats and keep my feet moving. Heavy footfalls begin to sound behind me and when I turn my head around I can see him coming at me at full speed. I pick up speed until I’m full out running. My feet pound hea
vily on the black pavement.

  “Stop!” I yell over my shoulder as a nervous laugh bubbles up from my throat. “Cohen!” I let out a shriek as his arms wrap around my center and my feet leave the ground.

  “I told you I was going to put you in my truck myself.” He reminds me as his arms still hold me hostage. “You should probably start listening.” He squeezes me tighter.

  “Stop treating me like a baby, Co.” I whine, trying to pry myself free from his brute arms.

  “Then stop acting like one. You can’t go around throwing hissy fits every five seconds, Tatum.” He chastises me. “And you definitely can’t do anything to burn that bun in your oven.” He says lightly.

  “Stop trying to make me like you again.” I complain, hating that I can’t stay mad at him for more than five seconds.

  “You always like me.” He teases as he opens the door to his rusted up Bronco.

  “At least let me hate you for more than five seconds next time.” I buckle my seat belt as he makes his way over to the driver side door. The action itself seems futile, seeing as I’m literally driving in a death trap. Seat belt or not.

  “Never, baby girl. Never.” He sends me a megawatt smile just before starting the truck and pulling away.

  “Are you at least going to eat the ice cream with me?” I ask him with my best puppy dog eyes.

  “You think I wouldn’t?”

  Chapter 5

  Killian

  What the fuck was that?

  I’ve been trying to decipher that complete cluster fuck since the moment I ran directly into Tatum O'Neil. Literally. I don’t know what was worse, the surprise on her face, or the bottle of prenatal vitamins I had picked up off the floor for her. I was sure I was seeing things. That with the excitement, and commotion of accidentally knocking someone over, maybe my vision had become blurry? But prenatal vitamins? For Tatum? The girl I met weeks ago at the club? The same one I fucked mercilessly against the wall in said club? My brain begins to run haywire as all of the possibilities run through my head.

  Tatum.

  Sex.

  Vitamins.

  Fucking hell. Tatum O'Neil is pregnant.

  Every thing was going down hill, fast. That is until her relentless sidekick showed up and effortlessly took all of the dead weight off of my shoulders.

  She’s not pregnant.

  That Parker kid said they were for his sister. Not Tatum. But the look on her face told me otherwise. Maybe that’s why I can’t shake the feeling that something’s off. Something about the entire situation isn’t sitting right.

  First of all, you fucked your student, you sick sonofabitch. Maybe I'm not in the right state of mind to be helping myself through any situation right now.

  “Are you even listening?” The blonde I’m with, Patty or something like that, has been riding my case the entire night. She hasn’t shut up. Her lips have been in a constant state of moving up and down, with words I haven’t heard spewing out the entire time. This is all Bianca’s fault. If I hadn’t let my little sister talk me into online dating thing I wouldn’t be sitting here at this expensive restaurant listening to this whiny woman ramble on and on. And yet all I can think about is Tatum O’Neil. The woman I thought had gotten away. The one with the same fire in her eyes that matched my own. The same one who’s completely forbidden, and a whole lot of trouble. Not to say I didn’t attempt to have her transferred from my class, but all attempts made didn’t pan out. Principal Rosemeade couldn’t care less, and God forbid the guidance counselor be bothered to help out either. Add in the Parker kid who’s always around, and it’s a recipe for an unwanted disaster.

  So why do I look forward to seeing her in class every day? Why do I see the image of her pinned against the wall with me balls deep inside of her every single time I catch a glimpse of her? And why the hell does it feel like jealousy consumes me every time Parker wraps his scrawny little boy arms around her hips or shoulders?

  “Do you even know what I just said?” The nasally voice from in front of me asks again. I try to remember, to think real hard, but nothing comes to mind. All of my attention was on a woman, but it definitely wasn’t her.

  “Does it even matter?” I bark out annoyed. “Haven’t you been talking about the same damn minuscule shit for the past couple hours?” I roll my eyes and take a sip of water. The liquid cools my throat on its way down, before dispersing to relieve the rest of my burning body.

  “Seriously? I really thought you cared, K.” She pouts and crosses her arms over her fake double D chest. An asset that had turned me on before my mind was set on someone else.

  You can’t keep thinking about her. She’s your student!

  I shake my head and try to remain focused on Patty. “I’m only kidding, babe.” I plaster on a fake smile and grab for her hand across the table. “Of course I care about what Jenny said to you when you were getting these pretty nails done.” Just to prove what an absolute airhead she really is, she actually swoons. Swoons! Who does that? What intellectual would let some stranger degrade her, and then swoon as soon as a nice smile and kind words fall into place. Nope, not me.

  “So I was thinking...” She starts to speak, but I’m too busy sending an SOS to the only scapegoat I have. He better answer.

  “Oh, crap. I’m so sorry, but I have to take this.” I hold a finger up in her direction as I answer the phone. “Hello?” I answer knowing full well who it is and why they’re calling. The bleached blonde woman before me looks on with worried eyes. I scrunch my eyes together with fake concern as I listen to the voice on the other end of the phone.

  “Is she watching?” Are the first words Liam asks as soon as he hears my voice.

  “Mhm.” I murmur.

  “Can she hear me?” He asks next.

  “No way.” I say with worry in my voice. I scrub my chin with the palm of my hand as if whatever news I'm receiving is extremely terrible.

  “What should it be this time big bro? Dog died? Family emergency? Home break in?” He asks with excitement in his voice. “Oh, how about you just run out of there with an upset stomach? Diarrhea is a classic cop-out.” He laughs to himself, only making me more annoyed the longer he continues to speak.

  “Yeah, no I’ll be right there. Tell them I’ll be right there!” I bypass his help and just say whatever I can to get myself out of this current situation.

  “See you soon, big bro.” He laughs all the way until I hang up the phone.

  “Is everything okay?” Patty asks. I nod my head no from side to side and try to muster up all the concern my face and convey.

  “It’s my little sister, she’s on her way to the hospital right now.” I shake my head as if I can’t even believe it myself.

  “Oh, no!” Patty covers her mouth with her hand as if this news truly upsets her. More like her vagina.

  “Yeah. I’m so sorry, but I have to go. There’s no one to stay with my niece while her mom is being admitted.” I keep on with my random spew of bullshit and she believes every word I say.

  “No, I totally understand.” We both stand at the same time. I turn just before leaving a couple twenties on the table and head towards the exit. “Maybe we can try this again sometime!” She calls after me as I finally make it to the door. I don’t even give her the decency of answering her back. My only concern is getting the fuck out of dodge.

  “What the hell was that all about?” Liam asks as soon as I make it through the large oak door of my house.

  “How did you even get in here?” I dodge his question with another question on purpose.

  “I asked you first. Besides big bro, hiding the spare key in the bird feeder is classic.” He starts towards the kitchen, already making himself at home. “You should really think of somewhere else to hide it, what if someone breaks in for real?” He asks with his head shoved in the bare refrigerator.

  “And here I thought the easiest spot was under the mat.” I say uninterested.

  “Yeah, probably. But you don’t even
have a mat, so there goes that. You also don’t have any food, what’s up with that?”

  “There's food in there.” I tell him, knowing damn well there’s not. And the only food that can be classified as such is probably week old take out.

  “Wow, they must really be paying you peanuts on that teacher salary.”

  “It’s good enough.” I say annoyed.

  “What is with you seriously?” He asks as he gives up rummaging through the fridge and pins me with an inquisitive stare.

  “Nothing.” I rub the five o’clock shadow on my cheeks with my hands, trying to scrub the days frustrations away. “Everything. Jesus, everything seems fucked.” I tell him honestly.

  “Usually when you talk like that it can be either one of two issues causing you to be so cranky. One, it’s a girl.” He takes a long deep breath and holds another finger up. “Or two, it’s a girl. Now which one is it?” His stare burns through me as I contemplate whether or not I should even tell him. I grab the counter top with both hands and let my head hang down. My eyes close as I try to come up with the right words to say.

  “It’s a girl.” I give him an inch.

  “I knew it!” He says as if he’s just solved one of life’s greatest mysteries.

  “I think she’s pregnant.” I let out a long huff of air, relieving myself of the contaminated words leaving my mouth.

  “Oh fuck.” I can see the shock rolling off of him in waves as I turn my head in his direction.

  “It gets worse.” I tell him.

  “What’s worse than a baby?” He asks me seriously. My younger brother has never been a fan of the little ankle biters. My sister Bianca has two daughters and they climb all over him for hours on end. Liam thinks it’s pure torture, I think it’s hilarious.

  “She’s my student.”

  “Holy fucking shit!” His eyes nearly bug out of his head.

  “I’m gonna need a little more words of wisdom over here.” I say sarcastically.

  “What? Words of wisdom? Are you fucking nuts, Killian!” He shouts at me. His face contorts with a mixture of fear, anger, and uncertainty.