by B. K. Leigh
I pull my phone from my pocket when I finally find the strength to move and dial the only number I can manage. It rings once, twice, three times before the voice on the other end of the phone finally picks up.
“Tatum? What’s wrong?”
“Killian!” I sob his name and the phone line goes dead.
Chapter 17
Tatum
I’ve been sitting in the waiting room for what seems like forever, but I know it’s only had to have been about a half hour. I’m curled into myself sitting on one of the hardest wooden chairs. My butt’s gone numb, and my heart still hurts.
“Tatum!” My eyes lift the moment I hear his voice and it’s as if all of the weight on my shoulders has been lifted if only for a moment. I’m out of the small chair in one second and wrapped tightly in his arms the next.
“Killian- I- it’s,” I can’t even form the words as tears I didn’t think I had left in me begin to overflow once again.
“Shh.” He whispers against my hair. “You’re alright, I’ve got you. You’re alright.” He repeats his words like a soft spoken mantra.
“What of she dies?” I ask him a question I know he doesn’t have an answer to.
“She’s going to be fine, Tatum. Don’t worry.” He holds me tighter. He pulls away and grasps both my cheeks in the palms of his hands. “You’re alright.” He repeats as his lips meet my forehead. “I’ve got you.” He promises as his lips move to the corner of my eye as another tear falls. “I won’t let you go.” He swears this time to cover yet another spot on my flushed cheeks. He continues to kiss every inch of my skin, making all the promises I desperately need to hear right now. He keeps moving until hovering over the corner of my mouth. I stare into his eyes silently begging for him to continue. To cross that line, and he does. My heart stutters the moment it happens, but for once I give into him. I pray it doesn’t end as quickly as it started.
As cliche as it sounds I swear sparks begin to fly, and somewhere off in the distance fireworks must be going off. The moment his tongue silently asks for permission for entrance I greedily open. All the while I’m waiting for the ball to drop. I'm waiting for him to pull away and realize just how wrong this is. We could be caught right now. Someone could see us tangled up like this in the middle of the Norfolk hospital, but the chances of that happening are slim, considering we’re about an hour away from home. All of the many possibilities are still present in the back of my mind.
I focus my attention back on him and the way his lips feel against mine. They’re soft yet demanding, and it’s everything I had remembered from that first night. He’s gentle and sweet but with a promise of unspoken danger.
“Killian.” His name bubbles up my throat wrapped in a low moan. His hands tangle into my hair just a little tighter as soon as that small sound reaches his ears.
“Fuck.” He whispers between kisses. “Fuck, Tatum.” It’s not rejection, although it does feel that way. And I try to explain that to my heart when he pulls away completely after placing one last chaste kiss against my now red and swollen lips. “Come here.” He grabs my hands and pulls me down into the chair next to the one he takes. “What happened?” He asks with a face full of concern.
I start from the beginning and tell him everything. I tell him about Grams, and what happened today, down to the exact events that took place, before, during, and after school. I don’t miss the way his face contorts with what looks like jealousy any and every time I mention Cohen’s name.
He holds my hand and entwines our fingers when I tell him about finding Grams. I see emotions swimming through his eyes that reminds me of the same pain I feel deep down inside. As if he knows exactly how I feel. As if he knows exactly what I’m going through.
I tell him things he didn’t even ask to hear. Like my parents, but leave out the blinding fact that I’m the reason they’re gone. I don’t tell him that because I don’t want him to leave me too. Even though right now I know it’s inevitable. He’ll be gone just like the rest of them.
“Tatum?” We both stand when a man in a long white lab coat comes to stand before us. I absentmindedly squeeze Killian’s fingers just a little bit tighter as I brace myself for the doctors news. It feels like we’ve been waiting on an update for hours. I nod at the doctor and wait for him to continue. “Your Grandmother has had a major heart attack.” He pauses briefly, waiting for the news to wash over me. To finally sink in. “But, she was brought in at just the right time.” He gives me a small smile.
“What does that mean?” I ask him with worry in my voice.
“That means that although she’s stable now, she’s going to need further treatment. The blood flow to your Grandmothers heart had been cut off, causing her heart to work overtime in efforts to get it back. Because the main arteries are still working overtime to get the blood flow where it needs to be. She’s still going to need a number of procedures to get her back at one hundred percent.” I think my mind shut off at some point, and only came back at one hundred percent part. I stare at him confused as he keeps going on and on. I can feel the heat of Killian’s eyes boring into the side of my face as the doctor keeps on talking.
“When can I see her?” I ask him next.
“She’s still asleep from the medication. I think it’d be best if she got some rest for the night.” My shoulders slump at his words. He doesn’t want me to see her. She’s too weak right now. I try my best to keep the traitorous tears at bay.
“Okay.” I agree, attempting but failing to look stronger than I really am. “Alright.” I nod my head once again. I let out a shaky breath as the doctor takes his clipboard full of notes and walks away. Even Killian’s presence can’t do anything to console me. As if to agree with me, Bean picks that exact moment to make me nauseous. I throw my hand up to my mouth in a panic and frantically scan the room for a bathroom. My feet bring me towards the only one I managed to find. I whip the door open and fall to my knees just as quickly as I begin to vomit.
My fingers grip the sides of the porcelain bowl as everything I ate during the day comes up all at once. I feel him before I see him as he stands behind me gathering my long loose hair and keeping it out of my face. Once he gathers all of my curls his other hand goes to the center of my back rubbing soft circles over my sweatshirt.
“I got you, sweetheart.” He whispers sweetly. My heart aches at the sound of his voice. The only voice that can break me in half and piece me back together all in the same sentence. But he’s here now, at a time when I need someone the most.
“It hurts.” I admit to him. He doesn’t answer, just lets me have my moment. When I’m done, he helps me up and watches me silently as I splash some cold water on my face. We don’t say much as we walk side by side, hand in hand to his small car. He just gets in and I follow suit. The hour long ride is silent, and does nothing to stop the raging thoughts running rampant through my mind. Grams is still in the hospital, and by the looks of things she might be in there for a few more days. Killian kissed me. He didn’t just kiss me, he damn near swallowed me whole. I knew the minute his lips touched mine there would be no turning back. Not for me anyway. I don’t care if I have to love him from far away, that’s what I’d gladly do.
Fuck, did I just say love?
That’s exactly what I think this is. It’s not lust. It’s not longing. It’s both of those wrapped in one, twisted together with a million other life changing emotions, thrown in a blender and poured directly into my heart. I’m a goner. I’m completely lost. And I don’t even know how I’ll be able to contain these outrageous feelings I have for him.
“Tatum?” I hear my name being called, but it sounds as if it’s far away. “Tatum, we’re here.” I feel him nudge my shoulder and it’s only then do I realize I managed to fall asleep.
“Oh,” I sit up.
“Are you going to be alright here?” He asks me with concern laced throughout his baby blues. “By yourself?” He clarifies. I take in the darkened house and cringe. I’ve never been co
mpletely alone before. I’ve always had someone to fall back on.
“Will you stay?” I ask him with a shyness in my voice I’ve never heard before.
“I don’t think that's a good idea.” His eyes look as if they’re raging a war within himself.
“Just this once?” I ask, but I’m not opposed to begging at this point. “Just until I fall asleep?” I add on quickly. I swear I almost jump for joy when I see his resolve crack.
“Just until you fall asleep.” He repeats, as if he needs a reminder for himself.
We walk through the darkened house with the lights still off, the memories of finding Grams on the floor still haunting me as I continue walking directly to my bedroom. I slip my shoes off and wait for him to do the same. We climb into my bed with my back pressed tightly against his front. I don’t take my sweatshirt off for fear of him somehow being able to feel Bean. But I do let him drape his arm over my waist and hold me tight. It’s what I’ve been dreaming about for months. Since that first night at the club. I’ve wanted him.
“Go to sleep, sweetheart.” I feel his hot breath against the back of my neck.
“Goodnight, Killian.” I whisper into the darkness.
“Goodnight.” He replies. I listen to his breathing even out until I’m sure he’s fallen asleep. His arm grows heavy around my middle and I sigh in content. It doesn’t take long for my eyes to grow heavy, and my heart to grow full. This feels right. Laying here with him right now. If everything else in my life wants to fall apart, at least I have this small sliver of happiness to hang onto.
Chapter 18
Tatum
I woke up this morning to an empty bed, and an even emptier house. It’s just me, alone on a holiday. Killian is nowhere to be found, and that stings. Maybe he didn’t mean for last night to happen, but it did. Now it’s all I can think about. Killian was there for me in one of my weakest moments. I made it through the mess at the hospital with him by my side. I made it through the night with him wrapped around me.
I try to keep myself busy. I clean the house. I call the hospital and check on Grams, thankful for being in a much better condition than she was yesterday. I’m running out of things to do. My phone buzzes in my pocket just as I plop myself down on the couch and flip the TV on. It’s no wonder Grams’ is addicted to soap opera’s, there’s so much drama. For once there’s something to take the spotlight off of my own life.
Cohen: How is she today?
I sent Cohen a text about Grams last night on my way home from the hospital. They may bicker back and forth, but Cohen’s like her third grandchild. And although he might not admit it, he does care for her.
Tatum: The doctor said she’s doing better, she’ll be fine once the medicine begins to work.
CoCo: You sure you don’t want me to come get you? Mom’s been hounding me all day.
Tatum: I’m sure, Co. I’ll be fine.
CoCo: But what about Bean? She’ll miss all that good food :(
Tatum: Bean doesn’t even know she’s a Bean yet.
I remind him for the thousandth time.
CoCo: How do you even know Bean’s a she. She could be a he.
Tatum: They’re supposed to tell me at my next appointment, I guess we’ll find out then.
As I wait for his reply there’s a knock at the door. Startled I drop my phone on the couch and head to see who the hell it could be. I’m in a tank top and yoga pants, so whoever it is better not be important.
“Killian?” My eyebrows shoot up in surprise as I pull the door open. “What are you doing here?” I ask surprised.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay, after last night and all.” He looks unsure of himself. It makes me wonder why he didn’t just call and ask instead of showing up. I catch the fleeting moment his eyes drop to my stomach and a brief flash of relief runs through them. In that moment I thank the heavens I haven’t grown any sort of baby bump yet, and pray it holds out at least a little while linger.
“I’m fine.” I tell him, moving aside for him to make his way into the kitchen. My body begs to throw itself at him as if it needs to feel his skin against my own.
Magnets.
The thought runs through my mind again. This is a whole new level of want and need. I think he can sense it too. Especially when the air begins to grow thick with heated tension. He takes a tentative step towards me.
“I know you’re lying.” He tells me boldly. Another step has me backed against the cool marble counter top.
“I'm not-” I can’t even finish my sentence before his lips slam against mine and physically take my breath away. His hands are needy as they rub and touch every inch of available flesh. His lips are demanding as they crash, twist, and turn against mine in every which way. His hips dig into mine creating a friction that sets my blood on fire. Killian is an animal, and in this moment I’m his prey.
“Fuck, sweetheart.” He takes in a breath as his lips find their way to my neck and suck against the supple skin just above the throbbing vein that lives beneath. A moan of ecstasy escapes my throat the minute his tongue darts out and swirls against my skin. “Why the fuck does it have to be you?” He whispers all the thoughts raging through his mind out loud.
“Killian!” I purr his name as his hand moves slowly from my hip, up my rib cage, and settles on my breast. Just one gentle squeeze almost has me coming completely undone. “Don’t stop.” I manage to beg around another strangled moan.
He rips himself away from my grasp. His chest rapidly moving up and down, his desire still shining brightly in his eyes.
“Get dressed.” He gestures to my outfit.
“What?” I can barely think straight. What did he just ask me?
“Get dressed, Tatum.” He points again to my comfy clothes. Half of him looks like he still wants to rip them from my body, the other half looks like he’s desperately trying to hang on to his last ounce of self control.
“Why?” My heart is still beating out of my chest like a bass drum.
“You’re coming home with me.” He doesn’t ask. It’s a statement, and there’s no room for discussion.
“I can’t go home with you.” I almost stutter.
“Why? You can’t stay here by yourself, especially not on Thanksgiving.” I don’t know if he’s trying to convince himself or me at this point, but whatever he has to say to get him through it.
“What about your family?” I balk. What about his family? What are they going to say when they see some teenager trailing behind her their much older, grown adult son.
“My mom won’t care.” He steps towards me. “Please, Tatum.” He grabs my hand and pulls me into him. “Come with me tonight.” His words are softly spoken, as I watch his lips descend onto my own. They’re soft and sensual. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of kissing him.
“Okay.” I find myself nodding in agreement.
∞∞∞
As we walk up the driveway to his parents house I find myself nervously pulling at my cream colored cardigan. My black boots click against the pavement and my fingers squeeze Killian’s just a little harder the closer we get to the front door. Their house is one you read about in a story book, or see inside of a home magazine. It’s a white two story colonial with black shutters, a bright red door, and flower beds lining the driveway and all along the sides of the house. It’s beautiful. Grams’ house doesn’t hold a candle to this one.
“Killian!” A petite blond woman swings the door open and throws herself into him. He catches her with open arms and a wide megawatt smile on his face. “My boy!” She coos into the crook of his shoulder.
“It’s nice to see you too, Mom.” He smiles from ear to ear. Something about seeing Killian with his mother has a whole new emotion swimming deep in my belly. She pulls away from him and peeks around his wide torso. “Mom,” He takes my hand and pulls me into his side. “This is Tatum. Tatum this is my mother Janet.” He beams with pride. If I didn’t know Killian was a mamas boy before I sure know it now. I stick my
hand out in her direction and open my mouth to speak.
“It’s nice to meet you, Janet.” I say with a smile on my face. Suddenly I’m nervous as hell. I hope the outfit I chose makes me look older. For some reason I find myself praying she approves of me.
“Oh, none sense!” She shoos my hand away and pulls me in for a bear hug. Instantly she puts me at ease and pulls me deep into her home with Killian tagging closely behind. “Killian’s never introduced me to a girlfriend before.” She whispers giddily into my ear.
“Oh, we’re not- he’s not my boyfriend.” I admit shamefully.
“Doesn’t matter, dear.” She still smiles. “I can see the way he looks at you.” She points a finger in his direction and low and behold his eyes are glued to me and me alone. He looks haughty in this moment. He’s completely at ease, and relaxed while his mother drags me through the rest of their ginormous house to meet the rest of his family. A pit of nerves settles in my belly, and if Killian weren’t right behind me I’d probably run for the hills.
“Is Liam and Bianca here yet?” Killian asks as he follows me towards what must be the living room area.
“Oh, yes. They’re in the living room with your father.” She says cheerfully. “Todd and the girls weren’t able to make it.” She says solemnly. We walk into a great room with cathedral ceilings and windows all around. There’s a dark leather couch stretching from one wall to another. A giant flat screen TV hangs in the middle of another wall above what looks to be a huge fireplace.
“Hugh, honey?” She waits for her husband to turn his attention to us. Her fingers are still wrapped around mine. “Killian’s here, and this is his girlfriend Tatum!” She all but squeals. The entire room goes silent. Three pairs of eyes turn in my direction and I’m sure if I looked in a mirror right now my cheeks would be bright red.