by B. K. Leigh
“Yeah,” She lets out a deep breath. “I guess we shall see.” She leaves me standing alone in the hallway. The brief moment of silence is enough to get me moving again. I need a distraction and I need it fast.
My phone vibrates deep within the pocket of my blue jeans. I pull it out and let out a deep breath as Tatum’s name flashes across the screen. As much as I need a distraction right now, it’s not from my family. It’s from her. I slide the phone back in my pocket and choose to forget. Choose to immerse myself in the traditional activities my mother forces us to participate in, even when A Christmas Story plays on the TV over and over again in the background. As annoying as the same words on repeat should be, they aren't. Tradition is good. Tradition is wholesome. Tradition should be my mother’s middle name. The entire day goes by in the blink of an eye, and it isn’t until I’m lying in bed at night that I realize Tatum hadn’t crossed my mind once. Distraction was enough to keep my mind off of her, maybe I’m not completely doomed.
Chapter 27
Tatum
I feel like I’ve been checking my phone every five minutes for the past six days. Six days and the only words that have been said between Killian and I are one to two word sentences. It’s painful. Almost excruciatingly so.
“You look desperate.” Cohen chimes in from my side.
“How would you know? You’ve been on your phone for the last hour.” I reply annoyed. We’ve been laying in bed all day. Not to mention all week. One day of Christmas activities was enough to scare Cohen away from his family for the rest of the entire week. We haven’t done much besides cuddle and watch movies. And even that is going to come to an end sooner or later. Especially if Cohen’s side piece Cassie has her say in it.
“You’ve checked your phone at least a million times in the past four days. He hasn’t called yet, he’s barely texted. There’s no way he’s going to just randomly start now.” He says with no enthusiasm what so ever.
“You really know how to keep my hopes high.” I say sarcastically as I roll my eyes. I place my hand on top of Bean and change the channel for the millionth time.
“Cohen!” I screech throwing the remote to my side. He ignores me and keeps his eyes locked to his phone screen. “Cohen, look!” His eyes finally see what all of my excitement is about and light up like fireworks in the night sky.
“What the hell?” He asks confused. He gets into a sitting position and focuses on my moving belly. I’ve never felt Bean kick before, and feeling it for the first time is causing all sorts of emotions to stir up inside of me.
“She’s moving!” I tell him excitedly. I don’t know which one of us is more ecstatic him or me. He moves until he’s only inches away from my skin, watching in complete fascination.
“Holy fuck, Tate.” He says in awe. “Bean is moving.” He places his hand on top of the moving skin and begins to talk to her. “Hey there little Bean. It’s your favorite uncle CoCo.” He smiles as she moves around some more.
“She’s listening to you.” I tell him. “Keep going.”
“Your mama and I can’t wait to meet you.” He rubs my belly again. “Kick once if you’re a boy, and twice if you’re a girl.” He tries, igniting a loud chuckle from me.
“You can’t do that, Co!” I slap his shoulder. “That’s cheating!”
“What? It wasn’t my decision to wait, Tate.” He stares with all the concentration in the world, wishing, wanting, waiting. Minutes go by but her kicks never come.
“She must have gone back to sleep.” I tell him as his shoulders sag in disappointment. “You’ll find out in four more months, Co.” I run my fingers over his head and he finally goes back to the spot beside me.
“I know.” He huffs. “Next time I’ll get Bean to tell me.” He vows.
“I’m sure you will, Cohen.” I laugh lightly.
“I’ll just have to keep talking to her, you know? Become her favorite person.” He tells me next. He turns his attention back to his phone.
“What are you doing now?” I nod towards his phone.
“Looking up Morse Code.”
“You’re not going to teach Bean Morse Code.”
“Why not? We could communicate with her, and she could tell us things. Like when she’s hungry and stuff.” His face is nothing but serious and I can’t help but laugh.
“You’re crazy, Cohen. You hear that Bean? Your uncle CoCo is literally crazy.” I shake my head in amusement.
“Yeah well you won’t be saying that when she gives me the tell all.” He retorts quickly. For a minute the smile on my lips fades quickly as I realize the only thing I want more in this moment is to be sharing it with Killian. In another world would he want to be here with me? Am I a bad person for not sharing any of this with him? Not giving him the choice to want to be here or not? Or are my actions reasonable?
To be honest, none of this is reasonable or ideal. I shouldn’t be eighteen and pregnant with my teacher’s baby. It all just sounds like a bad episode of Jerry Springer.
“Tate?” I feel a soft nudge against my shoulder. “Don’t look so sad, babe. Everything’s going to be fine in the end.” Cohen tries to reassure me, but for some reason it doesn’t. I wish I could believe him. I wish could let myself see what he sees. But all I can do is hold onto the small amount of hope I have left.
Chapter 28
Tatum
Christmas break comes and goes, a reminder of how soon Bean will actually be here. The small pile of things I had managed to accumulate for her has grown into half a closet. I say her as if I know she’s going to be a girl. Cohen reminds me daily I’m going to get a dark haired baby boy with striking eyes that looks exactly like Killian as a form of Karma. I wouldn’t be opposed to that though. A baby Killian would absolutely melt my heart.
“You ready for the first day of our last semester?” Cohen sidles up beside me as we make our way through the thick crowds of students. Everyone’s dressed to the nines while I’m sporting one of Cohen’s over sized sweatshirts and a pair of fleece leggings.
“I’m ready for it to be over.” I mumble with enthusiasm. The past few days has had my stomach in knots. I don’t know whether that’s from this cold I can’t seem to kick or the cold shoulder I seem to be getting from Killian.
“What? Four months isn’t too long.” Cohen drapes his arm across my shoulders. “I mean we’ve made it almost twelve years so far.” He says casually.
“What’s your first class?” I ask looking over at his schedule. A new semester means a new list of classes. My heart sinks at the thought of not being in Killian’s classroom anymore. It’s just one more wedge between us.
“History.” Cohen rolls his eyes. “With non other than Mr. Hot Baby Daddy.” He jokes.
“Don’t sound so excited.” I bump his hip. “Could be worse, you could have… Environmental Science with Mrs. Montgomery.” I make a face of disgust. Everyone knows Mrs. Montgomery came straight from the loonie bin. Her moods go up and down in the matter of seconds, and to match that so does her grading.
“At least we still have lunch, and Gym.” He squeezes me tighter into his side. “And you know all you have to do is text me and I’ll come running.” We end up in front of his small locker and he places a soft kiss against my forehead. The small gesture manages to make my nerves go down a notch.
“I know, Co.” I hug his waist. It’s moments like this when the world around us seems to fade and I find myself in my safe haven. Cohen is just that. My safe place.
“Will you walk me to class, baby girl?” He pulls away as he changes the subject, changing the mood along with it. The warning bell above us begins to ring and the thick crowd of students disburses in all different directions.
“I guess so. God forbid you just happen to get lost.” I roll my eyes at the excuse he’s seemed to overuse his entire high school career. A ball of nerves begins to build in my gut the closer we get to Killian’s classroom. “This was a bad idea.” I mumble under my breath.
“You kno
w you’re dying to see him, Tate.” he whispers to me. “And you know you love me too much to ditch me when we’re this close.” He shoots me a wink and I crack the smallest smile. Before I know it we’re standing outside of Killian’s door. I get a glimpse of his sculpted back through the small door frame. His tight button down shirt does very little to contain the strong and bulging muscles beneath. My throat runs dry as my heart begins to flutter. I can feel Bean kick just below my ribs. It’s as if she knows her daddy is here. As if she longs for him as much as I do. As if he can sense my eyes on him he turns his head just in time to catch me staring. One look is all it takes to bring me back to Christmas Eve. One look is all it takes to remember the feeling of his body on top of mine, his lips against my lips, and his bare skin against mine. I can feel my cheeks heat up as I breakout in a deep red blush.
“He should take a picture.” Cohen remarks as he turns to engulf me in a giant bear hug. “It might last longer.” He finishes. I don’t take my eyes from Killian’s as I lift my arms and squeeze Cohen’s waist.
“Be nice.” I whisper into his chest as I finally escape from Killian’s trance. “He could fail you for that attitude.” I warn him.
“He wouldn’t.” He sounds so sure. “I have too much dirt on him.” He shoots me a wink.
“You’re such an ass sometimes, Co.” I push against his chest but he only holds me tighter.
“Yeah, but you love it.” He bends his head to where his mouth rests just above the shell of my ear. “Ain’t that right, baby girl?” He teases. His voice causes a tsunami of goosebumps to wash over my arms and neck.
“Ass.” I mimic my earlier words. I know he’s doing this to put on a show, and damn if it isn’t working. “I have to get to class, Co.” I warn him once I realize he has no intention of letting me go.
“Tell me you love me, Tatum.” He smiles around his words as if he knows exactly what he’s doing.
“Cohen!” I warn with a stern look on my face.
“Tatum.” He counters, not giving up.
“Fine.” I pout. “I love you, CoCo.” I reach my arms up around his neck and kiss his cheek.
“That’s my girl.” He says softly. His palm reaches for my belly an action only I can see. “Love you baby Bean.” He whispers before pulling away. “Get to class, Tate.” He says loud enough for everyone to hear as he finally walks away.
I watch his back as he heads for an empty seat. I don’t know what I’d do without him. I know I’d be lost for sure. My eyes catch hold of Killian’s and I can see the deep pools of anger festering inside. Killian’s a jealous man. No matter how many times I’ve told him Cohen and I are just friends he doesn’t see it like that. I break eye contact and walk away feeling giddy, knowing that after minimal contact I can still provoke the monster within. The part of him I know is still begging, dying to be with me.
I make it to class late, and with a proper scolding from Mrs. Montgomery. Twenty pairs of eyes watch me as I make my way to an empty seat and for a second I feel like I’m on display. Can they see Bean? Can they tell I’m almost twenty two weeks pregnant? Bean is just a small bump, but a bump none the less. If I weren’t wearing an over sized sweatshirt that drowned out my form completely there would be no doubt anyone would know I was pregnant.
CoCo: You’re in trouble.
I read Cohen’s text as I pull my phone from my front pocket.
Tatum: What happened now?
I pull my text book from my bag as I wait for him to respond.
CoCo: Looks like your baby daddy has his panties in a twist.
I barely get to roll my eyes as another text comes in.
K: I don’t like his hands on you.
I stare at his words over and over trying to come up with the best response but end up with nothing.
Tatum: I’m surprised you even noticed.
I feign indifference. I know my response is only going to sour his mood further, but my hurt feelings don’t really care right about now.
K: How could I not notice another mans hands all over what’s mine?
I smile knowing Cohen’s plan worked. He knew what he was doing the entire time.
Tatum: Someone’s jealous.
I pick at him further, wanting more of a reaction. Bean picks this exact second to push herself right up against my bladder and I swear to God I almost pee my pants. I interrupt Mrs. Montgomery and practically beg her to use the restroom. She’s one of those teachers who think it’s complete asinine to do anything but pay attention to her lecture the entire class, including using the restroom. Fortunately she relents, and I make my way to the restroom as fast as I can. After I do my business and wash my hands I reach for my phone but realize I must’ve left it back in the classroom.
As soon as I round the corner I slam directly into a brick wall. I feel myself start to fall but am quickly caught just before I hit the floor. Everything happens so quickly I don’t even have time to process what’s going on.
“What game do you think you’re playing Tatum?” His words hit me like a bucket of ice as my back hits the cool metal of the lockers. We’re in a small nook with no one else around, but my heart still shutters at the thought of getting caught.
“Killian? What the heck are you doing?” I gasp as his forearms land on each side of my head and his lips hover just a centimeter away from mine.
“What am I doing?” He asks, his upper lip curling with annoyance. Maybe anger? “Are you trying to make me mad?” He sneers. “Are you trying to get a rise out of me? Trying to fucking break me?” Oh yeah, he’s definitely angry. His blue eyes darken like the sky before a storm.
“Yes.” I straighten my spine and square my shoulders. “Maybe I am.” I back track a fraction.
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Tatum.” He warns me.
“What do you mean?” I question him. His eyes soften a fraction.
“I’m trying not to lose my self control, and you prancing around in front of me with other guys is not going to help that.” He tells me with all seriousness.
My fingers itch to touch him. I have to force them to stay beside my sides.
“You don’t get to say that, Killian.” I huff. “You don’t get to pretend like you care, and then act like you don’t over and over again.” My voice cracks as the pain I feel inside finally begins to seep out.
“I’ve been busy, you know that.” He tries to make me see reason in his coldness, but I can’t. It’s always too much back and forth with him. It’s so constant it’s never ending. I shake my head, unbelieving.
“I have to get back to class, Killian.” I push against his chest, managing to get him to take a few steps backward.
“Come on, Tatum.” He takes another towering step towards me.
“I have to get back to class.” I say again. This time I manage to side step him, but just as I think I make it past I feel his hand jet out and reach for me. I feel the minute his fingers land on my side, his fingertips just barely resting on the swell of my belly. I can see the minute his face morphs from anger to confusion. Our eyes connect for a slit second and I swear everything I’ve been hiding from him since the beginning is on display in front of us. I know he felt Bean the minute his fingertips touched my body. Almost two weeks ago my body was entirely different. Two weeks ago I could have gotten away with just being pudgy, but now it’s clear as day I’m pregnant. I force myself to move in the opposite direction. My heart’s racing out of my chest as I practically run back to my classroom. I should have let it be. I shouldn’t have pushed. Maybe he doesn’t know? Maybe he didn’t feel what I’ve been desperately trying to hide for the past five and a half months. I feel ashamed, and it’s all I can concentrate on for the rest of class.
Chapter 29
Tatum
“I mean to be honest he was bound to find out sooner or later.” Cohen chimes in beside me, souring my mood.
“Yeah, but I don’t even know if he knows. You know?” I don’t know who I’m trying to convince more.
Cohen raises a skeptical brow in my direction.
“You’re a little insane, you know that?” He adds in jokingly. It’s the last class of the day and thankfully Cohen and I have it together. The Guidance Gods really pulled through this semester.
“What the hell?” My feet come to a dead stop causing Cohen to stumble backward as our linked arms keep us tethered together.
“Oof. You have the worst luck.” Cohen lets out a strangled chuckle.
“What is he even doing here?” I whisper shout. Meanwhile he practically drags me over to the bleachers while all of the other students file in.
“How the hell am I supposed to know?” He whispers back. I try my best to focus all of my attention on Cohen, but the burning pair of scorching blue eyes are literally tearing holes through me. “He is fuming.” He adds in.
“What am I supposed to do?” I ask him frantically.
“Uh… pray like hell you make it through the rest of the school year unscathed?” He takes a wild guess.
“Yeah, that’s easier said than done.” I roll my eyes. “What about this?” I nod my head in Killian’s direction. “Is he here for good?” I glance in his direction and thank God he has all of his attention on the small clipboard perched in his hands. He’s wearing black basketball shorts and a black cotton T-shirt. It’s a different look then the clean cut button downs and dress pants he’s usually in.
“I guess we’re about to find out.” He leans back against the stair behind him taking me with him. I let out a loud shriek followed by a giggle.
“Jesus, Cohen!” I laugh as he pulls me even tighter into his side. “I thought I was falling!”
“Wouldn’t be the first time, baby girl.” Cohen winks before a loud voice snaps out.
“Mr. Parker, Miss O’Neil, are you going to let me take attendance or continue to be a nuisance the entire time?” Killian barks out in annoyance. I can feel a deep red blush begin to creep up my neck and settle on my cheeks as the entire class pins their gaze on Cohen and I.
“Sorry about that, Mr. M.” Cohen replies. To anyone it would sound like your typical sarcastic remark, but I can sense the hidden meaning behind it and I have no doubt Killian can also. I steel my facial expressions and try my best to pay attention to the man who seems to be commanding the rest of the students.