Ruby Lee and Me

by Shannon Hitchcock

  “Where did it all come from?” I asked. “It’s not even Christmas.”

  Mama threw her arms open wide. “From all over! Neighbors, church people, customers at your dad’s service station, and some people that just read about her in the newspaper. Everybody has been so kind to us. We’re blessed to live in such a good community.”

  “Who sent the chaps?” I asked.

  “Cathy,” Robin said. “They’re my best present.” She pointed at the Tupperware container. “What’s in there?”

  “Chocolate cake,” Granny answered. “I’ve been teaching Sarah to bake.”

  Grandpa reached into the party bag he had brought from the car. He put on a triangle-shaped paper hat and blew on a kazoo.

  “Would you act your age?” Granny asked.

  Instead, he slipped a hat on her head and pestered me into wearing one too.

  Mama pulled a hospital tray over and fed Robin a big bite of cake with lots of icing.

  “You have a chocolate mustache,” I teased.

  “The cake is delicious,” Mama said. “Maybe you should try for a ribbon at the county fair.”

  Robin stuck her tongue out and licked icing off her lips. “Sarah is good at everything,” she said.

  I looked at Robin’s bandaged head. I stared at her leg hanging in a sling. I knew one thing that I was not good at. I was not a good babysitter.

  “Why is Sarah crying?” Robin asked.

  “Those are happy tears,” Mama said. “Sarah is just so glad you’re getting better.”

  Robin didn’t seem to have brain damage, and I was happy as could be about that, but her leg worried me. I wanted her to be able to run and jump and play. I wouldn’t feel better until she could.

  Uncle John had built his house from a Sears Roebuck mail-order kit. Nobody had lived in it for a while, and it showed. The windows were grimy, the inside was dusty, and the whole place needed a good coat of paint.

  “We have three weeks until Robin comes home,” Granny said, “and it’s canning time too. I’ll be busy with Miss Irene, putting up the beans and tomatoes. How would you and Ruby Lee like a little project?”

  I always loved spending time with Ruby. “What kind of project?”

  “Clean this place up,” Granny said, “and plant some flowers. Ruby sure has a way with gardening. Guess she inherited Miss Irene’s green thumb.”

  I remembered my promise to be a perfect big sister. This was my first chance to prove it.

  Granny took a closer look at the walls. “We’ll pick up some paint chips at the hardware store and let your mama choose the colors.”

  At dawn, the smell of coffee mingled with sizzling country ham. I was still finishing breakfast when Ruby Lee knocked on the back door.

  “Come on in,” Granny called. “Can I fix you a biscuit?”

  “No, ma’am. I had breakfast at home.”

  Granny wrapped up the leftover ham biscuits, and put them in a basket with slices of cake and a thermos of tea. “Thought you girls might enjoy having a picnic lunch,” she said.

  Ruby followed me outside to load Grandpa’s truck. She raised her arm and pointed at the sky. “Look up yonder,” she said.

  The sky was streaked with pink, like God had used my crayons to color it. Ruby and me had watched the sun rise lots of times together. Tobacco priming started early. “It sure is beautiful, Ruby Lee.” I placed a box of cleaning supplies into the truck and slid it toward the back.

  Rowdy walked over and sniffed Ruby’s hand. He wagged his tail and panted with his tongue hanging out.

  Ruby ruffled his fur. “This here dog is a good judge of character,” she said.

  I giggled. “That’s because he goes to church.”

  Rowdy jumped into the back of the truck and nestled beside the cleaning supplies. Ruby and I climbed into the cab with the picnic basket between us.

  I shifted into drive and the old truck bumped along the worn path. “I’m glad for this job,” Ruby said. “Your granny’s paying me real good. I’m saving for back-to-school clothes.”

  My hands tightened on the steering wheel. I didn’t want to think about changing schools. “I’ll be the new kid.”

  “Ease up on that steering wheel,” Ruby said. “Looks like you’re trying to choke it.” Ruby stared out the window. “Don’t sweat school,” she said. “Instead of worrying about one skinny white girl, folks will be whispering about integration, about all us uppity colored children drinking from the same water fountain, eating in the same cafeteria, and using the same bathrooms.”

  Instead of easing up on the steering wheel, I clenched my jaw too. I felt guilty that Ruby couldn’t swim in the town pool or have a hamburger at Bubba’s Grill. Sometimes grown-ups made stupid rules and were slow to change them, especially in Shady Creek. “Guess you’re right,” I said. “Going back to school will stink for both of us.”

  “It won’t exactly stink for me,” Ruby said. “I’ll be going to a nicer school, one with real playground equipment.” She wrinkled her nose. “But it will be hard. It’s hard to go where you’re not wanted.”

  When Ruby talked like that, I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to fix things, but didn’t know how.

  I rolled the truck to a stop near the front porch. Ruby Lee climbed out and walked around the overgrown yard. “Somebody needs to mow the grass,” she said. “Ask your grandpa if he wants Uncle Clarence to do it.”

  Ruby Lee unloaded the cleaning supplies while I unlocked the front door. “Come on and have a look,” I said.

  Ruby walked through the entire house: kitchen, dining room, den, two bedrooms, and a bath.

  “I know the stove and refrigerator are old, and the tile is cracked. It’s not nearly as nice as our house in town.”

  Ruby shrugged. “I know lots of people that live in worse. It won’t seem so bad when it’s clean and painted.” She pulled a pencil and paper from her pocket. “I’m gonna make us a list,” she said. “This here is a big job.”

  While Ruby took notes, I opened all the windows to air out the house. “Here’s the way I see it,” Ruby said. “I’ll start by scrubbing the bathroom. I can’t stand a filthy bathroom.”

  I grabbed the mop handle and put a clean rag over the head. “I’ll wipe down the walls and trim,” I said. “Get rid of all the dust and cobwebs.”

  “And when you finish with that, the floors need a good sweeping,” Ruby said.

  I rolled my eyes behind her back. Sometimes Ruby thought she was the boss of me.

  I spent the morning cleaning the walls and floors. The whole time, Ruby Lee sang in the bathroom.

  My arms are tired, Lord

  Gotta sweep the floors

  Give me strength, Lord

  To finish my chores.

  I liked listening to Ruby. She had been named for a famous actress. Maybe that was why she loved to perform.

  At lunchtime, we sank down on the front-porch steps with the picnic basket. I poured each of us a glass of sweet tea.

  “Your granny sure knows how to make good iced tea,” Ruby said. “Tastes just like Ma Rene’s, full of sugar.”

  I unwrapped ham biscuits, and we munched in silence for a while. “This place feels peaceful,” Ruby said. “The people that used to live here were happy folks. I can always tell that about a place.”

  I knew what Ruby meant. This house was like opening a box of underwear on Christmas morning. It wasn’t a present I would have picked out, but I’d put it to good use anyway.

  We finished up our biscuits, and then unwrapped slices of cake. “Prune cake,” I said. “It’s my favorite.”

  Ruby Lee arched her eyebrows. “I don’t know about eating prunes,” she said.

  “Prunes are moist and sweet. But if you’re too stubborn to try it, that’s more cake for me.”

  Ruby sniffed and took a tiny taste. Then she took a bigger one. “I have seen the light,” she said. “Nothing wrong with prune cake.”

  After lunch, Ruby and I started work in the kitch
en. Ruby wiped out the cabinets while I scrubbed the oven.

  Ruby started to sing.

  Sorrow’s overwhelmin’ me

  Hidden deep where no one sees

  Sorrow’s overwhelmin’ me

  Lord, show me how to set it free.

  I knew Ruby was singing about her own parents, but the words seemed like they were written especially for me. I wondered how to set a sorrow free. It seemed like there should be a recipe for it.

  “Why you doing battle with that oven?” Ruby asked. “Gonna wear yourself out.” She walked over and took the steel-wool pad from my hand. Ruby moved the pad in a firm, circular motion. “See? Like this. Girl, why you all teary eyed? What’s your problem?”

  I shook my head.

  “Robin is awake,” Ruby said. “Chattering like a chipmunk is what your granny said. So why you all knotted up?”

  I shook my head again.

  Ruby handed the steel-wool pad back to me. “Suit yourself, then.”

  I went back to scrubbing, and Ruby measured for shelf paper.

  “It was my fault,” I blurted out.

  Ruby kept cutting the paper in a straight line. She didn’t even look up.

  “I was supposed to be babysitting.” My hands started to tremble. “Only I-I was reading my library book.”

  Ruby put down her scissors. She reached for me and then let her arms drop. When we were younger, we used to hug each other all the time, but not so much lately. All the talk about integration and the assassination of Martin Luther King had made us feel awkward about touching, like maybe we shouldn’t.

  “What do your parents say about it?” Ruby asked.

  “I haven’t told them. I haven’t told anybody, except for you.”

  “Why not?”

  I took a couple of deep breaths, in and out, in and out. “I’m afraid. Afraid they won’t love me anymore.”

  Ruby snorted. “Sarah Beth Willis, that is crazy talk. Your parents love you the same way Ma Rene and Uncle Clarence love me. Forever.”

  “Maybe, but I don’t want them to know. Promise you won’t tell.”

  Ruby walked over to me and held out her finger for a pinkie swear. The way she used to do when we were little. “I promise,” she said.

  Mama chose paint the color of sunshine for the walls in our house. Grandpa and Clarence did most of the painting. Ruby and I helped with the trim.

  When we were all finished, Ruby placed a big pot of red geraniums near the front door. “Hard to be miserable in a house with yellow walls and pretty flowers,” she said. “Cheer up, Sarah.”

  But that was easy for her to say. She wasn’t the one whose sister was hurt.

  Grandpa was waiting in the truck to take Ruby and me into town. Mama and Dad had packed up most of the household stuff, but I wanted to pack the lavender library myself. Ruby was gonna help me.

  I knew the route from Grandpa’s farm to our house in town by heart: Shady Creek Road onto Tucker, Main Street to North Maple Avenue, then left onto Walnut Circle. I gripped the seat’s edge with both hands. This would probably be the last time that I’d ever be inside my old room.

  After Grandpa shifted into park, Ruby and I climbed out of the truck. While Grandpa went to unlock the front door, I studied the skid marks in the street. I could hear the brakes and smell the burning rubber. It seemed so real, like it was happening all over again.

  “Sarah.” Ruby tugged on my arm. “Your grandpa’s waiting on us.”

  I shivered, trying to shake off the bad memories. Maybe it was a good thing we were moving away from there.

  Mama and Dad had been busy. The house was full of boxes, and the curtains were drawn. My life would never be the same. Not ever. I left Ruby and walked from room to room. Every part of the house brought back a good memory. I pictured Dad flipping buttermilk pancakes on Saturday mornings. “How many can you eat, Sarah Beth?” Robin’s rocking horse still sat in her bedroom. I touched his yarn mane, and then set the horse rocking with my foot. I saved the lavender library for last. I thought about Mama tucking me in at night. I moved across the floor to the bookshelves and ran my fingers over my novel collection. Laura Ingalls, Ramona Quimby, Jo, Beth, Meg, and Amy. Some of my best friends were in these books.

  When I turned around, Ruby was watching me from the hallway. She walked in and stood beside me. “You know what Ma Rene always tells me when I’m sad about my mama moving to Chicago?”

  “No.”

  “She says, ‘I can’t stop it from hurting, Ruby Lee, but I’m right here. Hold on to me.’ ”

  I reached for Ruby’s hand. I hadn’t done that in a long time. I stood still as pond water and remembered all the times Ruby and I had played together on the farm: climbing trees, wading in the creek, swinging on the old tire swing. I hoped she would always be my friend, that integration wouldn’t mess that up. “Do you think we can be friends at school?” I asked.

  Ruby’s brown eyes looked old and sad. “No,” she said, “not at school. Things are bound to change between us. We’ll probably end up just like our grannies, only working together.”

  “But our grannies are friends.”

  Ruby shook her head. “No, they’re not. My granny does whatever yours says. Real friends are equals.”

  I knew Ruby was just being honest, but lots of people were trying to change things. I’d seen it on the evening news. “When school starts back, maybe we should try and be friends. You know, be brave, like the Freedom Riders you told me about.”

  “We’re not old enough to change things,” Ruby said. But then a big smile spread across her face. “Maybe we could be friends at school. Wouldn’t that be something? Maybe I’m not dreaming big enough.”

  While I was helping Granny wash up the supper dishes, Miss Irene yelled through the screen door. “Miss Maybelle, Miss Maybelle, you at home?”

  “No peace around here,” Granny said. “Wonder what’s got Miss Irene so riled up?” Granny dried her hands on a dishtowel and went to answer the door.

  Miss Irene and Ruby Lee followed her into the kitchen. “Have a seat,” Granny said. “How about some sweet tea?”

  Miss Irene shook her head no. “This ain’t no social call. Sarah Beth is filling Ruby’s head full of grand ideas.”

  “What?” I knew better than to interrupt a grown-up, but I couldn’t keep quiet. “Ruby, what did I do?”

  Ruby rubbed the back of her neck. “I told her we want to be friends at school. That we’re gonna be brave like the Freedom Riders.”

  “Heaven help us,” Granny said. She sat down at the table. “I don’t think you girls know what you’re saying.”

  Miss Irene sat down across from Granny. “Praise Jesus,” she said. “Maybelle, I need you to help me set these girls straight. I done lost Ruby’s daddy. My nerves can’t take no more upset.”

  Granny took off her glasses and polished them on her apron, a sure sign she was thinking hard. “Sarah, are you ready to be called bad names? How you gonna feel when Betsy Carter doesn’t invite you to her birthday party? Or when you’re not welcome at the lunch table?”

  “But—”

  Miss Irene held up her hand and cut me off. “Now it’s my turn. Ruby Lee, you better mind your place. The colored children will call you uppity, and the white children will treat you like something bad they stepped in.” Miss Irene looked at me. “Sarah Beth, you have a good heart, but if you can’t even tell about the accident, where you gon’ find the courage to stand up for Ruby Lee?”

  Ruby gasped and her eyes got big and wide. She’d done broke our pinky swear and told Miss Irene my secret. It was written on her face plain as day.

  I shook like Mr. Fletcher when he has one of his fits.

  “That’s enough!” Granny said. “Look at how Sarah’s trembling.”

  Ruby ran out the back door, and Miss Irene smoothed her housedress over her knees. “I didn’t mean to hurt nobody’s feelings,” she said. “I was just remembering how you told me Sarah wouldn’t talk about the accident
. That’s all.”

  Granny leaned in close to Miss Irene. “I know you’re afraid for your granddaughter, but I won’t have you upsetting mine. You hear?”

  Granny’s voice was stern, and Miss Irene hung her head. She needed the milk and eggs from our farm. That was a powerful hold to have on somebody.

  “I didn’t mean no harm,” she said.

  I hung my head just like Miss Irene. I had never heard my granny use that tone of voice before, and I knew I was the cause of it. She was trying to protect me from my own wrongdoings.

  On the day of Robin’s homecoming, I stood on a chair and tied a sign between two of the front-porch pillars. It said, WELCOME HOME ROBIN.

  “It looks good,” Ruby said.

  I was surprised to see her standing in my yard. Granny and Miss Irene still worked together like nothing had happened, but since that day in Granny’s kitchen, Ruby and me had been avoiding each other.

  She held out a pie plate. “Ma Rene baked a peach cobbler for Robin’s homecoming.”

  My mouth started to water. Miss Irene had a way with pies. “That was nice of her. You can leave it in the kitchen with Granny.”

  After Ruby dropped off the pie, she helped me tie balloons to the porch railing. “We need to talk,” she said.

  I pointed to the open window. I didn’t want Granny listening in. “Let’s take a walk in the woods.” We didn’t go far, just out of earshot of the grown-ups.

  “I blabbed your secret for a good reason,” Ruby said. “It’s too big to keep. If you won’t tell your parents, you should at least talk to your granny about it.”

  “Are you apologizing?”

  “No, I’m telling you the gospel truth.”

  Ruby owed me an apology. I stopped walking and crossed my arms. “You broke a pinkie swear, so I don’t trust you anymore. That’s the same as lying.”

  “It is NOT the same as lying,” Ruby said. She put her hands on her hips. “Here’s a newsflash: I don’t trust you either. You may talk big, but you still eat at Bubba’s Grill and swim in the town pool. You don’t stand up for what’s right. No wonder you’re lying to your parents. Covering up IS the same as lying.”