Zeke

by Wodke Hawkinson

  Zeke reached over and stroked her breasts absentmindedly, breaking into her thoughts. “Susie, you know I have a large sexuality. I have needs so big I sometimes get carried away by the intensity. I’ve always been this way, but lately it’s gotten worse. Since I met you, in fact.” He spoke calmly, which seemed even worse than if he had been raging. “That’s why we need to find someone else. It’ll be good for both of us. If I do get carried away, she’ll be there to absorb the, uh, excess. She’ll be the one that gets hurt, not you. You’ll get your satisfaction and I’ll get mine.”

  Sue said nothing, chills running over her scalp like many-legged insects.

  He continued, “I need you to go along with this. If you can’t do that, tell me right now and I’ll get out of your life. I’ll drop you wherever you choose and you can start a new life without me. You can’t go home now, of course. Not after what we did at Doris’s house. But, you can start over somewhere and maybe you’ll be fine on your own. Just tell me what you want to do.”

  Sue, conflicted, considered her options. Did she really want out? She didn’t know. “Are you saying that you plan to hurt someone?” she finally asked nervously.

  “No, don’t be stupid.” His voice turned hard. “I don’t plan to hurt anyone. What do you think I am, some kind of monster? I’m just saying I have strong needs. My needs are growing right now; I’m on the edge of exploding, like a bomb. And you’re too delicate to handle it.”

  “I’m not delicate,” she said, offended and more than a little wary. Zeke emanated danger like a furnace radiated heat.

  “Remember how much fun it was with Ernie,” he reminded her. “We can have even more fun than that if you keep an open mind. There’s no reason in the world we can’t find other lovers to enjoy. We’re rebels, Sue, you and me. Adventurers. We’re like a unit, like one when together, and if we choose to take a lover for ourselves, it’s our right.”

  “I’m not delicate,” Sue repeated, growing slightly angry.

  He laughed. “I’m sorry about that comment, honey. Just forget I said it.”

  She stewed, had trouble sorting her thoughts.

  “Another thing, Sue,” he said nonchalantly. “I’ll be handling all the cash from now on. At first, I thought it would be fine for you to keep it, but now I can see that you don’t manage money very well. Look at how much you spent on clothes in Candy’s boutique. I was shocked when I saw the total. And my god, the tip you wanted to leave that waitress. She could probably have fed her family for a week on that money. Your heart’s in the right place, Sue, but you just don’t think.”

  Sue wanted to defend herself, scream at him that the shopping was not her idea. And the tip had been a measly three dollars. However, good sense prevailed and she chose instead to say nothing. He got up from the bed, opened her handbag, and grabbed the cash from the top. He held up a twenty.

  “See this?” he asked her. “I’m putting this back. It’s your allowance, so make it last. Okay?”

  She nodded from the bed, weak with relief that he hadn’t found the money she’d taken from Doris. Turning her head into the pillow, she pulled the covers over her shoulder and curled up in a fetal position.

  “Come on now, Sue,” he chided. “Don’t be that way. You have a way of blowing every little thing way out of proportion. Stop dwelling on shit. Haven’t I been looking after you? Don’t you trust me to take care of you?”

  “Yes,” she mumbled from under the blankets.

  “Okay then,” he said brightly. “It’s still early. Let’s go downtown and look around, see what we can find. Get up and get dressed. And put on some makeup, your face is all splotchy. It’s embarrassing.”

  In the shower, Sue leaned against the wall and wept until the worst of her angst had been vented. She’d never felt more divided in her life. She moved through her grooming routine with a profound sense of detachment.

  When she emerged from the bathroom, Zeke whistled in appreciation. He folded her in his arms and breathed deeply of her clean scent. “You’re so beautiful, bunny,” he whispered into her hair. “I’m one lucky man.”

  Gently, he guided her to the bed and sat with her. She was stiff next to him. He turned her face to his.

  “Susie.” His voice was velvet against her ears. “I’ve been thinking. I’ve been too harsh on you, honey. It’s the way I was raised. Nothing against you personally. I hope you can forgive me.”

  Sue didn’t trust her voice, so she merely nodded.

  “I’ve been thinking about the future,” he continued. “And I could easily get pulled into your vision. If I really let my guard down, I can even see us as man and wife, living the dream. You make me believe it could happen. A little house. A normal life. Working together to make our wishes come true, just you and me.”

  “Really?” Sue felt her spirits lift.

  “Really,” he said firmly. “We could make it work, Susie. In fact, I think we should start planning our wedding. For sometime in the future, I mean. We’re not ready just yet. But, there’s no reason we can’t at least start thinking about the kind of wedding we want, where to have it, the kind of dress you’ll wear. The flowers. You know, all that.”

  Inside Sue, hope bloomed. She knew what Zeke was saying, the promise he was holding out to her. She relaxed against him. “I love you, Zeke,” she said.

  “I love you, too, Susie.” He kissed the top of her head. “We’ll talk about all of this later. Right now, let’s hit the road. The night isn’t getting any younger, right?”

  “Right.” She smiled softly, torn by a kind of tormented relief.

  He held her coat for her as they prepared to leave. At the door, he gathered her into his arms for another embrace. “When we’re all done sowing our wild oats, we’ll be the most boring married couple on the block. And the happiest.”

  He escorted her out into the night in search of a playmate.

  Trolling

  “I guess they roll up the sidewalks when the sun goes down,” Zeke joked. “Not much going on.”

  He and Sue drove aimlessly around. Few cars were on the streets, and fewer people on the sidewalks. The combination of unfriendly weather and the small town habit of turning in early had given the place a deserted and lonely feel. Zeke peered over the steering wheel, his expression fleetingly sweet and endearing.

  They slowly passed the police department. In spite of his loving words earlier, Sue considered jumping out at this point. His mercurial moods were disturbing and his logic hard to follow. He made her jealous, wary, offended, sick with longing, and hopelessly happy all in the space of hours. But, she quickly dismissed the idea of leaving. For her, the ride wasn’t over yet. And the promise of marriage and domestic bliss beckoned, if she could just soldier through the interim.

  “Ah, there we go,” Zeke said when he spotted the bowling alley. He turned into the crowded parking lot and pulled into a space near the end of a row of cars. “Well, we found out what folks around here do for entertainment. Come on, Sue.”

  She followed behind him, moving carefully on the slick pavement, a cold wind creeping up her skirt like an unwelcome hand. He opened and held the door for her. Zeke, the perfect gentleman. Warmth and noise washed over her as they entered. She looked forward to being in a crowd for a change.

  “Don’t forget, Susie, you’re a wanted criminal,” he warned. “Don’t do anything to draw attention to yourself.”

  She wilted a little. She had indeed forgotten her criminal status for a moment.

  The place overflowed with middle-aged folks, milling around the lanes, bowling, chatting, all fairly intent on the pin action. But it also featured a concession stand and a separate room for video games. Zeke pulled Sue toward the game room. Inside, they found a younger set of customers. Various games filled the room with electronic noise, and the sound of balls banging together on the pool table added to the din. As they stood just inside the door, a young woman approached them. She wore a short black leather skirt, wristbands, and knee-high boo
ts. Her hair was dark as night, like Zeke’s.

  “I like your hair,” she said to Sue. “That’s a great look. Very happening.”

  “Thanks,” Sue said quietly, trying not to encourage the girl. She was still wrestling with a confusing mix of feelings, not the least of which was jealousy. She wished she could pretend she didn’t know why Zeke had brought her here, but since he’d explained the whole thing, that was impossible.

  “Hey, can I bum a cigarette?” the girl asked.

  “Sure.” Zeke stepped between the two girls. He pulled out his pack and slipped her a smoke, which she tucked behind her ear. He gave her a charming smile. “What do you guys do for fun around here?”

  “Other than the bar on the edge of town, you’re looking at it,” the girl answered. “This place bores me to death.” She smacked her gum and gazed around the room, her face a study in indifference.

  “Yeah? Well, we’re just passing through,” Zeke said. “We’re photojournalists from New York. And I think we’re just as bored as you are right now.”

  The magic of his smile worked on the girl; Sue could tell. She knew firsthand the power of his charm.

  “The state or the city?”

  “The city.”

  “Wow.” The girl’s eyes lit up.

  “Hey, do you want to go back to our motel room and hang out?” Zeke asked. “We could watch movies, order some pizza. We could actually use your advice. We’re looking for really compelling scenic shots for our layout. So maybe you could give us some ideas of places around here that would make for great pictures. Maybe old abandoned buildings, stuff like that. We’re determined to win the Big Apple Photo Contest this year. Plus we’ve got to come up with something for our editor by the end of the week.”

  Sue stared at Zeke in amazement, impressed and disturbed by the ease with which he could lie. But the girl didn’t notice Sue’s expression, and she bubbled over with enthusiasm.

  “That sounds awesome,” she replied. “Let me grab my coat.” She walked to a small table tucked in the corner next to a driving game.

  “What are you doing, Zeke?” Sue turned to him, trying to keep her voice low and yet audible over the cacophonous noise that surrounded them.

  “Don’t ruin things, Sue,” he pleaded. He nuzzled her throat and sucked lightly on her earlobe. “We talked about this. Now just be a good girl and follow my lead.”

  The girl approached, coat slung over her shoulders. “Ready,” she said, slipping her arms into the sleeves.

  “Great! Let’s go.” Zeke took Sue’s arm and the three of them walked out into the night. Again, Sue thought of fleeing. She wouldn’t get far, but maybe the girl would run back inside and call the police if she saw Zeke dragging Sue back to the van. She looked nervously around the parking lot. The cold had turned it to a sheet of ice and she knew she would likely slip and fall if she tried to escape, probably break a leg. Before she could fully form the will to try, they were beside their vehicle.

  “Say, we ought to pick up some beer.” Zeke held Sue’s arm tightly as he dug his keys from his pocket and unlocked the van. “But, I have to ask, how old are you?”

  “It’s okay, I’m over eighteen.”

  “Close enough for me.” Zeke winked.

  The girl giggled, stepped on the mattress, and flopped into the back seat. Zeke closed the rear door and opened the passenger side so Sue could get in. He quickly circled the front, hanging onto the hood to stabilize his footing.

  Sue stared into the night thinking this might be her chance to run; but she didn’t take it. She sat like a statue as Zeke got in and slid the key into the ignition. He started the engine and rubbed his hands together for warmth. Sue shivered even after heated air from the vents began pouring in.

  The girl lit the cigarette she’d bummed from Zeke and inhaled deeply. She pulled her coat open as the air began to warm and looked curiously around the inside of their van.

  “So? You guys live in here?” Her nose turned up slightly at the thought.

  “Sometimes. If we’re on the trail of a hot story, we won’t stop for the night; we’ll just keep going down the road.” Zeke changed the subject. “Where’s the closest liquor store?”

  She gave directions between drags on her cigarette. The store was nearby. Zeke parked but left the motor running. He told Sue he needed her to come in so she could help him carry the bottles. The girl waited in the van.

  The sidewalk in front of the shop had been heavily salted and wasn’t slippery. Still, Zeke kept his hand on Sue as if supporting her. “Don’t want you to fall, bunny.” His grin looked feral in the neon lights from the window.

  Sue assumed he was less worried about her safety than about her leaving him. She was half convinced he could read her mind. The door buzzed as they pushed their way inside.

  Zeke made his selections and paid with Sue’s money. She looked longingly at the cash as he laid it in the clerk’s hand. She thought of all the years it had taken to save her money and how she might as well have just set fire to it. She was glad she had only withdrawn a portion of it. At least she still had the greater share, safe in the bank.

  Staring at the money as it disappeared into the cash register, Sue pictured the bus ticket she could be buying right now. But she knew she was fooling herself. She was still so hooked on Zeke; she wasn’t going anywhere. At least not yet.

  With Sue’s arms loaded with the sacks, Zeke once again took her elbow to guide her out. “Good. She’s still there,” he whispered to Sue as they approached the van. “It’s gonna be an awesome night.”

  He opened the sliding door, and set the bags on the floorboard in the rear as Sue climbed into the passenger seat. He slammed the door, rushed to his own side and jumped in, blowing into his hands to alleviate the chill. Looking over his shoulder, he said, “We should introduce ourselves. I’m Zeke and this is Sue.”

  “I’m Deidre but my friends call me Dilly,” she said. “Nice to meet you guys.”

  Dilly Dally

  Once inside the motel room, Zeke tossed each of the girls a beer. “Here, we’ll get started on these,” he said cheerfully.

  Sue had remained silent during the drive back, and simply listened with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach as Zeke spoke warmly to the girl.

  Dilly took a deep drink from her bottle and started to remove her coat.

  “Hold on.” Zeke stopped her. “I’m gonna run down and fill up the ice bucket. Want to go with me?”

  “Sure.” Dilly smiled.

  They left together, a blast of cold, wet air rushing into the room before the door shut behind them. Sue paced, twisting her hands. She tried to picture what Zeke had in mind for the girl, and for her. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she crossed her legs tightly, and waited.

  They were laughing when they came back, and Sue experienced a small twist of jealousy deep in her gut. Zeke gave Sue a loving look and wink, and she felt a little better. At least he seemed to be in good spirits now. Maybe things weren’t so bad after all.

  Dilly placed a couple cans of soda on the counter and Zeke put the ice bucket down. He gave Dilly a smile that she returned before slipping out of her coat and laying it across the chair.

  “Drink up that beer,” he encouraged, “while I make you ladies a special drink. A little something I call the Cincinnati Slammer.” He busied himself with the glasses, liquor bottles, and ice.

  Dilly sat on the side of the bed opposite Sue and unzipped her boots.

  “Hope you don’t mind, these things are wet.” She glanced at Sue, who shrugged.

  Dilly slammed back her beer and was ready for another drink when Zeke handed out the glasses. Before long, both Sue and Dilly were loosening up. Zeke maintained an easy chatter interspersed with jokes and funny stories, and he kept the drinks coming although he barely drank anything. In spite of the situation, Sue found herself laughing along from time to time. She could see that Dilly was impressed with Zeke, and more than a little attracted to him. She could also
see that Dilly was more than a little intoxicated.

  “So, are you guys married?” Dilly leaned back against the headboard, relaxed and loose.

  “Yes, we are,” Zeke lied, eliciting a sharp look from Sue. “But can I tell you a little secret?”

  “Sure,” Dilly said, leaning forward conspiratorially.

  “Sue and I have a unique relationship. We have a New York style marriage.”

  “Oh, okay,” Dilly said with a slight frown. “What’s that mean exactly?”

  “It means we have a free marriage,” Zeke explained. “We love each other passionately and without end. We will always be together. But we also are free to share affection with other people if we wish.”

  He watched Dilly carefully for her reaction. Her eyes were slightly unfocused. “Cool. I’ve read about those things.”

  Sue looked over at her in surprise, but said nothing.

  “How about you, Dilly? Are you married?” he asked.

  “Oh, no!” Dilly chuckled. “I’m not ready for that yet. I had a boyfriend until last week. He broke up with me and I don’t even care.” Her words were just the slightest bit slurred.

  “Well, he’s a stupid guy,” Zeke said. “If I were him, I wouldn’t let you slip away from me. You’re such a pretty girl. Right, Sue?”

  “Right.” Sue felt slightly dizzy.

  “Why don’t the two of you sit closer together?” Zeke suggested. “I’d like to take a picture, if you don’t mind. Slip off your boots, Sue, and scoot over while I get my camera. I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have the two prettiest women in town all to myself.”

  Dilly glowed under his praise and patted the mattress beside her, inviting Sue to move closer. After tossing her boots to the floor, Sue edged nearer to the girl and the two sat leaning against the headboard, shoulders touching. Sue felt a tiny shiver of anticipation. She knew what Zeke was trying to accomplish, although Dilly seemed oblivious as she snuggled up to Sue’s arm.

  Zeke had them smile and mug for the camera a few times. Then he snapped his fingers as if he had just had an idea.