More Than Memories

by Kristen James

  “She fell, they said. She couldn’t remember. I think they said from a ladder several feet up onto pavement.”

  “So what happened?”

  “She went home. I checked on her daily. Frankly, I was worried about her. She wasn’t afraid at the hospital, just confused, but as she kept re-experiencing the confusion of not knowing who or where she was, she started to panic.”

  Trent held his breath so his emotion wouldn’t come through in his breathing. How horrifying. His poor Molly. He chewed his lip, a bad habit that surfaced when he was having trouble holding in his emotions.

  After the stretched pause, Karen continued, “She did improve, but the strange part was her memory before the accident never came back. I don’t think she has a clear memory of that month, either.”

  “But you said PTA lasts for about a month?”

  “Yes, only a third of cases usually go past that. But she exhibited symptoms of retrograde amnesia, where she couldn’t remember her past before the accident.”

  “So her case is unusual?”

  “To say the least. I asked the doctors a lot of questions, researched myself, but science doesn’t have every answer. And all these numbers haven’t helped Molly.” Karen paused this time before she asked, “Am I speaking to a friend? A friend to Molly?”

  “Yes.”

  “I believed you right away because Molly told me about how you’re helping her. So I’ll tell you what I really think. But this is something I haven’t shared with Molly.”

  “Yes?” He felt sweat beads on his forehead.

  “This seems more like a case of not wanting to talk.”

  “Excuse me?” Trent again told himself Molly wouldn’t lie to him. “Why do you think she’s hiding something?”

  “Oh, no, not like that. Have you ever heard of someone who wouldn’t speak after a traumatic incidence?”

  “Yes, in movies.”

  “I think Molly wants to regain her memory more than anything, but she’s terrified of what she’ll find. I think part of her is blocking her memory. You see, there wasn’t enough damage to her brain to permanently erase her long term memory.”

  “Okay.” He digested her theory. “So, with support, you think she’ll remember everything?”

  “Maybe, when, if, her mind decides she can handle the event that made her want to forget.” When Trent didn’t comment, Karen added, “This is, of course, my personal opinion, apart from medical science. I am just a nurse. I’m not supposed to diagnose these kinds of things. But I’ve spent a lot of time with Molly, and some time with her parents before they died, and I think something awful did this to her.”

  Trent still couldn’t speak.

  “You’ll help her?” Karen asked.

  “Yes.” He swallowed. “I’m going to get to the bottom of this. For Molly.” And for them, but he didn’t add that part out loud.

  Later Molly and Alicia headed back to Alicia’s house laughing about the movie and how they spilled popcorn everywhere. Alicia had even thrown a few pieces back at a pesky kid in front of them. Molly noticed popcorn stuck in Alicia’s hair and pulled it out, holding it up for her to see and causing more laughter.

  “I want to show you one more place.” Alicia drove into Ridge City and up a street Molly hadn’t seen yet, since she’d returned. A few blocks up the road, Alicia said quietly, “That’s his house.”

  After a long driveway, a wide brick house sat surrounded by rose bushes. Molly pictured them in bloom, thinking maybe they were red because that would set off the reds and oranges in the bricks. The lawn between the house and link fence didn’t have a single weed, and looked so perfectly thick and good for lying on. Under a starlit sky on a warm summer night, crickets chirping, his arm under her head, talking about their dreams.

  A car behind them honked and Alicia waved them by. After the distraction, Molly tried to recapture the feeling that had just hit her, but it was a blurry thought about laying on that perfectly kept lawn. The car sat in neutral as Molly took in the house. Her eyes moved to the mailbox and the sign swinging under it that read Williams.

  “He’s been here a while?” she asked, wondering about a single man who hangs a sign like that on his mailbox. She thought of him watching her leave earlier that day, and how she felt when he looked at her.

  “And plans to stay a while, too,” Alicia answered. “There’s a five acre backyard. I love his house, it has a wide fireplace, open layout, but it’s still cozy.”

  “Hmm. It sounds really nice.” Molly wanted to go inside and see it for herself. She asked, “Why didn’t he bring me here?”

  “Oh.” A long pause. “Maybe he doesn’t think you’re ready.”

  Ready? Would she ever be ready? Her next question popped into her head and out her mouth. “Has he dated?”

  Wow she didn’t really want to know.

  “Since?” Alicia almost snorted. “Of course not. He was in love with you since kindergarten. We’ve always teased him because he’s so practical and analytical about everything but loving you.”

  Loving you. Molly didn’t turn to look at her friend as the words echoed over and over in her head. Loving you. Molly added patience to Alicia’s list about Trent, because what kind of man waited around for a woman for so long?

  Alicia put the car in gear and drove back to her house where they had lunch with David. He was polite enough not to ask if Molly remembered anything that day, but his pointed look at his wife caused her to say, “No, not a thing.”

  They were eating salad, beer bread, and homemade clam chowder. It was so delicious Molly refused to let her stomach wince in frustration. After only a day with Alicia, she trusted her. Molly spoke up and said, “I want my memory back, but even more I want to uncover why I took off, if I did, that is.”

  “It is strange,” David murmured, and Alicia shot him a look.

  “I agree, it is,” Molly said in David’s defense though she wondered at Alicia’s concerned look. Her friend seemed to tell things like she saw them. “I was with my parents, who knew all of you were here looking for me, but they didn’t call anyone.”

  “I wonder what they were running from.”

  The thought had been teasing the back of Molly’s mind, but she still jumped when she heard it said out loud. “I want to find that out, too. I want to know all of it, and why they were keeping it from me.”

  “Are you sure they were?” her friend asked. Molly admitted she couldn’t be sure of anything, but she had a gut feeling that something had forced them into leaving quickly. The phone rang and David rose to answer it, letting the women continue the conversation. A minute later, he told Molly that Trent wanted to take her out for dinner that evening.

  “Dinner?” What would she wear? Maybe she wasn’t ready for dinner out with him. Her face flushed before Molly realized it was probably more about getting down to business and solving all of this than . . . dinner. He needed to gather more information and get to the bottom of this mess. That mess didn’t necessarily include her feelings for him, if she had feelings, that is. She cleared her throat and tried to look normal, which was a bit tough with Alicia grinning at her.

  Chapter Five

  Clouds hung lazily above, separating the blue sky into patches, while Trent walked up a familiar hill to an apple tree. Leaves decorated the tree now that spring was in full force, and he spotted several white blossoms opening. He’d come here weekly during the last four years. On sunny days he remembered picnics with Molly and kissing under the tree. Their special picnic when he proposed. On sad, rainy days, he remembered intimate moments inside the house, by the fire or in bed. On those days, he looked up to Heaven and asked why. He’d lost his life when Molly disappeared, but he had no choice but to keep living. Going on alone wasn’t easy. Everything felt wrong.

  Now she walked right back into his life, which didn’t make sense either. Did he really care why though? Molly was back.

  Today he looked up to Heaven and said, “Thank you.”

&nbs
p; His cell phone rang. He usually turned it off when he needed some time alone, but Molly had the number and he wanted to make sure she could always get a hold of him.

  It wasn’t Molly, but his boss, Kevin Davison.

  “Trent, how’s the vacation going?” he asked. Kevin kept a professional, but friendly, relationship with everyone he worked with, so while Trent answered he wondered why Kevin was calling him. He usually jumped right into business. “It’s going well, so far.”

  “Trent, Judy Lofton’s making noise again.”

  This wasn’t anything new. The postmaster, a middle aged gossip, had nothing good to say about Trent and shared it with anyone wanting to listen. She wasn’t quiet about her belief that Trent was responsible for Molly’s disappearance.

  Except now Molly was back. Trent said as much to Kevin.

  “But without her memory of why she left. Everyone’s heard the story. Beverly Marshall really enjoyed spreading it.”

  Bev. Great.

  “Something in your voice sounds like you’re more than just irritated this time,” Trent said as he walked back down the hill, not wanting to have this conversation in this spot – his and Molly’s spot. It felt like he was talking in the middle of church.

  “People are listening to Judy. They’re calling me, actually. She wants you put on leave and an investigation started.”

  “Kevin, you’re buying into that?” Trent didn’t mask the anger he felt. If the entire planet couldn’t see how much he loved Molly, good grief, how could he ever prove it to them?

  “You’re already on vacation. We’re looking at the case again. If only her parents weren’t dead, they could have cleared this up.” Kevin paused. Trent stopped walking and allowed the silence to linger as he thought about the implications of Kevin’s words.

  Finally, Trent said, “That’s what this is all about? Judy Lofton heard Molly’s parents are dead and thinks she can pin it on me. Or at least make me look bad yet another time?” The suspicious looks Trent received every so often wearied him. The gossip. Knowing people thought he hurt Molly, or anyone for that matter.

  He called Mark the minute he hung up the phone with Kevin. Trent had reached his truck, but leaned against it to talk to his friend.

  “Sounds like you’ve heard,” Mark said.

  “From Kevin himself. That’s what makes me worried. I’m never going to get around this.” He rubbed his face, closing his eyes to the trees beside the country road. The wind sang above him along with a few birds, but that didn’t drown out his maddening thoughts.

  “If Molly remembers, it’ll clear everything up.”

  Trent made a fist, wanting to hit his truck, but controlled himself.

  “What if she doesn’t?” Trent asked. “I don’t want her knowing about this, feeling even more pressure.”

  “Trent, I don’t know how you’ll keep it from her. The town’s having a hay day. Nothing this big has happened since the Andersons disappeared.”

  He groaned. “We have to try. I’m supposed to head over to see her now. Could you give Alicia a call and ask her not to say anything?”

  “Alright. Didn’t you say you wanted to drive down to Redding and search her parent’s things?”

  “Yes, we need to, but she seems to be discovering her old self here. Plus I think she’s afraid of finding out what really happened.”

  “That’s not going to stop her, though, is it? She’s always been determined once her mind is set, and she still has the same character.”

  “Molly wants the truth,” Trent said. “You’re right, we need to get things moving and make sure there isn’t anyone looking for her.” Trent ended the call and drove to Molly’s hotel under a dark cloud speeding across the sky behind him. It passed over him and he wished his dark mood could pass as quickly. Somehow he needed to protect Molly from the town’s talk. She didn’t need more to deal with, more that could keep her memory from returning. He couldn’t let Judy Lofton get to Molly.

  Molly lay face up across the bed, an arm thrown over her eyes, pulling all the facts together to see if they amounted to anything. She knew she and Trent had been in a serious relationship and he hadn’t even dated while she was missing. She knew merely looking at him, or smelling his scent, evoked something in her. And, finally, she knew even if she didn’t remember her life before, she already felt at home in this town with the people she’d met here. Even though she’d arrived nervous about how people would react to her, she now felt safe knowing people around town knew her. She liked Ridge City, so why did she ever leave?

  She longed for things to be simple so she could go about her life and stop trying to look back. She trusted Trent and felt thankful that came easy. Then again, he was looking into all of this, and maybe wondering if she had something to do with her parents’ deaths. That thought chilled her and she pushed it aside.

  She would rather think about Trent, even though she had doubts about their future. If she never regained her memory, maybe they could start from scratch and simply move forward. Except their past would haunt her whether or not she remembered it. These questions nagged at her daily but she couldn’t answer them. However, she had no problems picturing Trent and she could easily guess why she fell for him in the first place back in high school. She found herself thinking about him, him and her together. His house with those beautiful roses planted outside. They’d popped into her thoughts several times, usually as a picture of them in bloom in shades of red. This time she also thought of a small, wrought iron table lamp, the base shaped like a vine with iron leaves and the glass shaped like the rose at the top. In her mind, it glowed in the corner of a warm living room, enchanting the space. While trying to picture the inside of Trent’s home, she dozed off.

  “Oh, no!” Molly jerked straight up in bed, suddenly awake and not wanting Trent to find her asleep again.

  Getting ready turned out to be quite a lengthy task. Should she dress up in the clothes she’d brought with her? Or wear the ones she’d bought here in Ridge City, ones that supposedly looked like the old Molly? All the questions about their past and her feelings now toward Trent made her question her choice of clothing repeatedly. She wanted him to notice she took time getting ready, but she didn’t want him to think she was falling for him again. Or should she say in love with him still or subconsciously in love with him? She needed a drink.

  She put on nylons and heels, thinking what the heck, it was dinner after all and she enjoyed looking nice.

  When Trent knocked, Molly threw open the door, proud of herself for being ready in the lavender shirt she’d bought earlier and a floral skirt. Trent stood, flowers in hand, in an olive dress shirt that set off his brown eyes and a nice pair of slacks.

  What caught her then and held her motionless was the gleam in his eyes and his smile as he gazed at her from top to bottom.

  “I’m ready. On time.” Now that was a classy ‘hello.’

  “And looking gorgeous.” He handed her the flowers and followed her inside. She murmured a thank you while smelling them, and realized he must have picked them himself because the bouquet included wild irises and violets. They were growing on the hills around the town, she’d noticed. They did every spring . . . and he picked them for her each time he came over to her house. One time, in the second grade, he’d handed her flowers and planted a kiss right on her mouth and took off running before she could say a word.

  “Molly?”

  She became aware of her hotel room and Trent beside her, and could see how strange she must look standing still and staring at those flowers.

  She looked at him and whispered, “You brought me flowers in the second grade and kissed me.”

  At first he turned red, then a lop-sided grin appeared on his face. “You remembered something.”

  She did remember! Staring into his eyes now, she could picture his childish face and the glow in his eyes. He’d plunked that kiss on her mouth and looked so shocked with himself, or maybe the sensation of their lips meeting ever so
briefly. She felt the breeze that had been lightly blowing, carrying the smells of Oregon spring in all its wet glory.

  “That’s it. One little memory in a big, blank sea.” She sat on the bed, looking at the flowers again, wanting to get lost in the memory that felt so real like it was really happening all over again. “The doctor said I’d probably remember earlier memories first, and then slowly move closer and closer to present day.”

  “So you’re on your way.” The tremble in his voice piqued her attention. She glanced up and saw the intensity in his eyes. He seemed to want her memory back as much as she did. The excitement in his voice was too much, she wanted to jump up, grab him around the waist, and dance. She finally felt she’d done the right thing by returning to Ridge City.

  Maybe he felt it, too, that she wanted to step into his arms, share the moment, enjoy it. Yet, she felt they knew each other in some other world. Trent sat on the bed next to her for a strained minute, their arms barely touching, but she felt his warmth. Then, they both stood, ready to leave. She stopped him first.

  “I want to hear something from you, want you to admit it.” Molly started slow, nervous, but collected her words after that. “I want you to tell me we were dating.”

  She couldn’t read his brown eyes, just felt the sensation he wanted to hide something. “All right,” Trent said. “We were dating when you disappeared.” The words slipped out easily, telling her there was so much more to the story. That “more” must be the part he didn’t want to share with her yet. She pleaded with her eyes, wanting and needing to hear the rest. For a second, he stared at her while she held her breath. The moment faded.

  Trent walked toward the door despite her beseeching looks. She sighed and let it go. Maybe she didn’t need him to tell her just yet.

  “I want to take you into the city and eat somewhere nice.” That sounded like a date to her, and that meant they were acknowledging there was something between them. Maybe something more than just their past.