Steady (Indigo)

by Robinson, Ruthie

  She watched him walk from the bed over to a mirror hanging on his wall, still giving her the back view. He was looking at himself in it, had his face tilted up as he leaned into the mirror to look at something on his chin, an up-close perusal. Looked like he’d just shaved, too. His eyes looked up and into hers, slanted eyes over beautiful high sharp cheekbones. Shock registered in them, and he slowly turned to face her, his eyes unreadable now.

  Caught, Katrina took a step back. She watched him walk slowly toward the window that separated him from her, while she stood trapped, her eyes locking on his. Fuck it, she said to herself. In for a penny, in for a pound; she was not missing this opportunity. Her eyes moved down to study his chest; better hurry, her mind said. Hell, no, she thought, taking in hair black and straight laying against skin; not a lot, but enough to make it interesting, enough to run her hands through. It trailed down over a nice slab of abs, trim and way developed, each muscle group outlined in painstaking detail.

  Okay, her hands had gone beyond twitching, they were now holding on to each other, trying to contain their desire to reach for him. Her eyes moved lower. Oh, God, his feet had stopped moving, having reached the window, but another part of him had taken the baton and was now rising against his lower stomach. She watched that part of his anatomy grow, fascinated and entranced.

  He was leaning forward now, his forearms resting against the window as he continued to watch her watch him. She, who now stood engrossed, following the growth of his body avidly, swallowing, but unable to look away. Finally, after she’d gotten her fill, it seemed like forever, but more like a couple of seconds, her eyes lifted to his, and he smiled back at her. Not a barely there smile, but a full one, a punch to her solar plexus. God, he was beautiful.

  She slowly walked backwards to the gate, her eyes locked with his, communicating her approval, pleasure, desire, and embarrassment at being caught. Her back hit the fence and she reached behind her body to open the gate. She stepped through it, finally breaking the stare. She practically flew home, up the steps, and inside, where she flopped down on the couch. She stared into space, her internal eyes locked in on the picture of him naked and now on display for her private viewing pleasure. WOW!

  ***

  Will was stunned and shaky after Katrina’s perusal of his body. He took a deep breath, allowing his body to return to its normal setting. He’d stepped out of the shower, getting ready to meet a friend for dinner—and maybe more—and looked up to find Katrina, of all people, standing in his backyard, watching him with more than casual interest in her eyes; more like he was her last meal before her meeting with the electric chair. But that was nothing new; she’d never hidden her interest in him.

  This was something different tonight, and this he would not be leaving alone, not after seeing her standing outside his window with so much need in her eyes. It was the kind of desire that would be a challenge to harness and control, hell, to even hold on to; even so, he was sure he was up to the task.

  So no more dithering, debating, or rebuffing, he wanted what she wanted, and the sooner the better. He’d watched her hungrily take her fill, and he’d replaced her standing there in a too-big T-shirt, sweats, and bare feet with the picture of her in her white work-out clothes. His body had responded to those images.

  Katrina was turning out to be one complex creature, chock full of contradictions; shy, aggressive, sexy, and as far from sexy as one could get. At this moment, she was also someone he wanted in his bed. He should not have turned her down when she’d first offered; hell, if he’d seen that look in her eyes, he wouldn’t have. He was so over being cautious now; he just wanted her dark skin against his, filled with him, holding on and pleading for more. Then what, popped into his mind. Then nothing was the answer that followed. She was a woman, and, in her not-so-subtle way, she’d just communicated her want, her need. Lucky for her it happened to be what he wanted. Finally. Now.

  CHAPTER 8

  April

  A week later, Katrina sat at Lola’s kitchen table, watching her prepare lunch for Sydney. Katrina had brought Lola up to speed with her life, Darius and the date, her subsequent talk with Amber, covering the basics of the Darius-versus-Will debate. She’d just finished providing Lola with her trip over Will’s nude body.

  “That good, huh?” Lola asked.

  “You have no idea. I had no idea,” Katrina answered, her mood today somber, her mind taking her back to Will’s backyard. She stared out into space, remembering again.

  “So, he called?” Lola asked.

  “The next night.”

  “What did he say?”

  “Did I want to come over?”

  “And?”

  “I told him no, told him that it had been a long day for me, that I was tired.”

  “Okay. And he said?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing, huh?”

  “I didn’t really give him a chance. I changed the subject, started talking about the competition. You know, the expectations, dates, deadlines; covering the steps that would be required of him going forward, just sticking to the competition stuff.”

  “Why?” Lola asked. Katrina simply shrugged. “Okay. And then what?” Lola asked.

  “And then nothing. He was mostly quiet, listening to me.”

  “I’m hungry, Mommy,” Sydney said, coming into the kitchen and plopping down in the seat next to Katrina. “Hi, Auntie Katrina.”

  “Hey,” Katrina said, running her hand over Syd’s head.

  “Okay, baby, sit. Mommy has your lunch ready,” Lola said, standing up, and placing a kiss on her daughter’s head. She went over to the microwave, hitting the button to reheat Syd’s lunch. Using the remote, she turned the TV on the counter to Sesame Street, one of Syd’s favorites.

  While Lola played mommy, Katrina was thinking yes, Will had called, but there was the part that had gone unsaid. Will’s call had been all innuendo, all for moving on the desire that her watching him in the nude had implied. What had she expected from him, really? After all, she’d started this, beginning with her New Year’s Eve solicitation and ending with her standing in his backyard with major lust and need in her eyes. So he now wanted some of what he’d seen offered. She’d heard it in his voice. How could he have known that she’d talked herself down from that ledge?

  Lola set the plate of food in front of Sydney, whose eyes were now glued to the TV, watching Elmo and India Arie singing the ABCs.

  Katrina took a deep breath. “I’ve been rethinking this whole Will situation, Lola, and I’ve realized that we wouldn’t work,” she said.

  “Katrina, are you kidding me? Why? You think he’s too much for you? Is that it?”

  Katrina shook her head.

  “Then what?

  “Then nothing,” she said.

  “You saw the man’s response to the idea of sex. It happens to men all the time, it’s a natural reaction, believe me. Don’t let it scare you and don’t run from it. It’s what you’ve wanted. You can’t call it off, not before you even start,” Lola said.

  “That’s what makes it the perfect time.”

  “Don’t, Katrina.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t quit before you start. This is so your pattern,” she said, shaking her head in frustration. “This is so you. In like or lust, always from afar, of course, and just when it could be more, you quit. You always say it won’t work out.” She gave Katrina her best motherly look. “You’re scared is what you are.”

  “Am not,” she said.

  Lola pursed her lips and gave her a ‘don’t bullshit me’ look. “Sure you are, and I know what you’re afraid of.”

  Katrina rolled her eyes, steeling herself for a lecture.

  “You’re afraid to take a chance, scared that you’ll be hurt, so you just back away, curl up in your shell, like Sydney’s turtle,” she said.

  “Whatever.”

  “I mean, really, Katrina. Will hasn’t done anything besides showing you that he’s intere
sted in you sexually, and you’re quitting. Sex that you wanted, may I remind you, and not too long ago. Wasn’t that what New Year’s Eve night was all about?” Lola asked, placing her hands over Sydney’s ears as she said the word “sex.” No need, as Syd sat with a fish stick suspended in mid-air, eyes glued to the TV as she sang along with the count.

  “I’ve changed my mind is all,” Katrina said.

  “Katrina,” Lola said, disappointment in her voice.

  “I’m just saving myself some time here. It wouldn’t work out. I’d want more, and I can tell he wouldn’t. Plus we both know I’m not his type,” she said, giving the reason she’d decided to tell Lola.

  Lola shook her head, disappointed in Katrina. “How do you know you’d want more; you have to try it first. He may not be any good, awful even.”

  “Doubtful.”

  “Yeah, doubtful,” Lola said.

  “So, you see. I’d only end up hurt,” Katrina said.

  “What I see is that this is so classic you,” Lola said, looking at her. “How many times have we been here? Remember Stanley?”

  “I know, but what kind of name is Stanley?”

  Lola shook her head. “Katrina.”

  “I didn’t like him, anyway, too pushy,” she said, squeezing her nose in distaste.

  Lola rolled her eyes. “Franklin, then?” she asked, eyebrows lifted.

  Katrina squeezed her nose harder. “Momma’s boy,” she said.

  “Zach?” Lola asked.

  Katrina pretended to gag, moving her hand to cover her mouth.

  Lola sighed. “Katrina, don’t quit again,” she said, sitting back in her chair and looking aggrieved.

  “I know you like Will, really like Will, leaps above the others,” Lola said, now exasperated.

  “See, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I would only end up hurt. Better to see me stop now. See, Lola, we’re here, you and me,” she said, pointing two fingers between her and Lola’s eyes. “We are in agreement.”

  Lola shook her head and laughed. “What do I do with you?”

  “I don’t know,” she answered, tuning in to Sesame Street now, where Kermit the frog sat alone, perched on a tree limb, singing mournfully, ‘It’s not easy being green.’

  “I’m feeling you there, Kermit,” she whispered, admitting to herself that Lola was right. But seeing Will in the nude was enlightening, her light-bulb moment.

  She’d recognized the potential for some major hurt from this one. Nothing small about her desire for Will, and hurt would be the prize at the end of it all because she wanted that man something powerful. Wanted him fiercely, forcefully, and limitlessly, the scariest adverb of them all. She wanted him more than was safe for her sanity and more than he wanted her for sure. And that kind of want scared her shitless. It was way too much.

  This man, unlike the others, was one she could truly love, and so far love had not been good to her. For her, love mostly brought loss, and she wasn’t up for any more losses. She’d had her fill, thank you very much. She was quitting while she was ahead.

  ***

  Katrina picked up her cell phone a week later to call Will. She’d put this off long enough. They had exchanged numbers due to the competition, but she hadn’t called him. It was back to hiding out again since the backyard scene. The competition, her responsibilities to it and to Will, had her calling.

  He was leaving, and he would be gone for a while—overseas, somewhere in Asia—for three weeks. He’d given her a copy of his schedule. The first set of plans was due to the city May 1, and, according to her calculations, Will would be overseas.

  She dialed the number and waited. No answer, so she left a message.

  “Hey, Will, I’ve finished the preliminary budget and planting schedule and I was hoping I could drop if off. Maybe you would have a chance to review it while you’re gone, maybe on the plane. Also wanted to make sure you’re okay with the first deadline. Anyway, call me and I’ll drop them by, or if I don’t hear from you, I’ll leave them on your doorstep,” she said, hanging up.

  ***

  “Will, please, baby. Oh, that’s it, harder, yes, more,” Charlotte groaned, her head bent over, hair covering her face. She was on her knees in the middle of Will’s bed, her arms out-stretched before her, her wrist captured in one of Will’s hands in a firm grip, his other hand at her hip, holding her in place as he pushed into her. “Oh, please,” she said, her request ending in a groan so loud and so filled with pleasure that Will had to grit his teeth to keep from coming.

  He pulled back for a second, centering, and he pushed back into her body, loving the way she felt surrounding him. Perspiration ran down his face, his hair glistening from the effort of fucking her. He pushed in harder, focused solely on moving in and out of her body, sure, strong thrusts, forceful, a little bit punishing in their power. He was attuned to only the movement, the glide in and out of her body.

  Her arms gave out and she fell forward. He let go of her wrist then, moving his other hand to the side of her body to lift her hips and hold her still, relentless in his quest to fill her. He felt her climax begin, and, in spite of his best efforts, he came, too, and collapsed on top of her.

  He lay there breathing for a second, regaining his breath before separating from her and rolling over onto his back. She rolled onto her stomach. His eyes found hers staring back at him between strands of her hair.

  “What got into you?” she asked, giving him a huge smile. “And do you think it could get into you more often?” He gave her a small grin.

  He took a deep breath, turning at the sound of his cell phone ringing in the distance; ignoring it, he pondered the answer to her question. Katrina had gotten into him, he thought, but he didn’t think telling Charlotte that was a good idea so he remained quiet.

  He had wanted Katrina, but since that idea had fallen through, Charlotte was the backup plan; a good one, an energetic one, but still the backup.

  This was maddening; the push from Katrina to sleep with him, from New Year’s Eve night to her standing in his backyard, and now that he’d finally gotten on board, she was backing off. He didn’t know what he’d expected or had hoped would have happened after his slideshow.

  He’d called the next evening, raring to go, and had gotten a wall instead of the your-place -or-mine question he’d expected. So what now? What did she want? He didn’t do games; this push forward and now pull back was not for him. He wanted to tell her that it didn’t need to be complicated. He had what she wanted; hell, what she’d wanted for a while now, and he was so on board with giving it to her. Only now she was giving him this “I’m Not Interested, Let’s Keep This Professional” act He hadn’t seen her outside, either. At all. Not like before, so it was back to square one. Back to avoiding him.

  That wasn’t the worst of it; the worst was she was becoming a frequent and annoying intrusion into his thoughts. She’d silently and quietly taken up residence just under the surface of his skin.

  Charlotte blew the hair from her face and sat up. “Are you listening to me?” she asked, her body a pleasure to look at.

  “Sorry, thinking about my work trip tomorrow.”

  “Not a good comeback, Will. No woman wants to hear that after what we’ve just shared,” she said.

  He smiled, turning to her, leaning over to kiss her mouth in apology.

  “That’s better, and you can’t know how much I’d like some more of this, but I’ve got to go. Meeting my sister to try on bridesmaid dresses,” she said, looking over at him, beautiful body stretched out still, and sighed. “Want me to come back by later?”

  “Nope, heading out of town tomorrow; I’ll call you when I get back,” he said, sitting up, putting his feet on the floor. “I’m going to take a shower. Can you see yourself out?”

  “Sure. Try and miss me while you’re gone,” she said, crawling across the bed to him, pushing her body into his back, wrapping her arms around him.

  “Of course,” he said, removing her arms,
standing up and going into his bathroom.

  Charlotte was gone when he emerged, towel wrapped around his waist in deference to the Katrina-in-his-backyard incident. He went to check his messages and, speak of the devil, it was Katrina wanting to drop off the work she’d completed with his designs. She had called fifteen minutes ago. He picked up his phone and dialed her number; she answered.

  “Hello.”

  “Katrina, I got your message, and I’m home if you haven’t dropped off the plans yet. Come over; I needed to ask a favor of you,” he said, trying out his own version of her business tone. He could do businesslike, too, he told himself, still smarting from the change in her behavior.

  “Sure,” she said, once again trying out her new professional voice, dialing back the sex quotient, going for the just-friends thing now; she would have to remind herself of that often. She would have much preferred the dropping-off option; she was nowhere near ready to face Will.

  ***

  She rang the doorbell and waited, hearing movement inside. The door opened to reveal him in sweats and a plain T-shirt.

  Heaven help me, she thought, shaking her hands to quiet them; they were back to that damn twitching. Pulling back from him was going to be harder than she’d thought.

  “Come in, we can work in here,” he said, pointing to his study, giving her a small smile and stepping back to let her enter. She followed him, taking a seat on the couch, speaking up immediately.

  “So I’m returning the plans you gave me. I made a copy for myself, and these are the budgets and planting schedules. Take your time and look them over. Remember, the plans are due to the city May 1. The budget and planting schedules aren’t due until July, and that’s only if we are one of the five selected. I like to get an early start,” she said, handing over the packet of information, which he accepted, placing it on his desk.