Between Now and Goodbye

by Hannah Harvey

  Between

  Now

  and

  Goodbye

  by

  Hannah Harvey

  One – Libby

  I've checked my luggage at least three times in the past half hour, and yet still, somehow, I'm not satisfied that I have everything I'll need. It's pretty hard to pack for any trip, but this one isn't just an average week long vacation with my parents. This is a whole summer in New York, and not even that, but it's a summer spent at one of the hardest to get into culinary summer camps in the country. I have no idea what I'll need with me.

  Each time I check my bags I end up taking things out, adding more items or spending a long time questioning every last choice I've made. I check and recheck my packing lists, and alter them as I go. Now the neatly written list is marked with ticks, crossed out lines, added in items in every available piece of space. It's crumpled, ripped and hardly legible. I may as well throw it out, but I cling to it like a life raft in the middle of the ocean. Checking and rechecking.

  I'm still checking things now, making final adjustments to my luggage even though I'm leaving in just under an hour.

  I look around my room. It's small, up in the attic of our modest home and I share the space with my younger sister Pippa. The room isn't furnished with a lot of items, just our beds, mine on the right and hers on the left. Two little bedside cabinets between the beds on the wooden floor that's been painted white. At the end of the beds we each have a set of drawers and then there's a curtained off closet that we share. It's small but cozy.

  Pippa's side of the room is decorated in a very African influenced style. Lots of oranges, reds, browns and patterned cushions layered up over her bed. Pictures, paintings, and tapestries line her wall. Her side is bright and vibrant, while mine is more subdued. I've styled my side after the beach. Lots of sandy colors, light blues and white. I have shells hanging from my headboard, sea glass in a mason jar on my bedside cabinet¸ and I've made a wall hanging out of driftwood, shells and string for my wall.

  Two very different styles, pushed together in a small space, and somehow they work together in a way that always surprises people when they see it.

  I'm going to miss this little room while I'm gone this summer. I'll miss Pippa, and my mom, and my step dad Matt. I'll miss my best friend Julie, who lives around twenty minutes from here, in Carver Key, the area of Carver which is littered with beach front mansions, and the prestigious country club. I'll also miss my other best friend Charles, who happens to be Julie's boyfriend and my next door neighbor.

  Charles' house is attached to mine. On our street all the houses are in groups of two, then at the side that isn't attached to a house, there's a gated walkway into the backyards. My house is connected to Charles' house. That's how I met him.

  In his house, Charles also has the attic bedroom which he shares with one of his brothers. He's the one who taught me how to climb up through the skylight in my room, and up onto the roof. I climb through it now.

  It's morning, way earlier than I normally wake up, especially in summer, but Matt is driving me to New York this morning. He will need to get back to work tomorrow though, so it meant making a really early start today, so they can drive back tonight. My mom is driving down with us as well, and I know she's up already, fussing around making sure breakfast is made. Pippa is staying here, and I don't blame her. Bed seems like an extremely tempting offer right now.

  Even still, I abandon the niggling urge to climb back into bed, and instead pull myself quietly through the skylight, and onto the roof. I close my eyes and let the cool morning air rush over me. The air carries a touch of salt from the beach, and I know I'll miss that while I'm in New York. I open my eyes and glance out towards the water. That's one of the reasons I love it up here. It's the only place in my house that I can see the ocean from, even though the beach is only a five minute walk away from my house.

  'Morning.' Charles' voice cuts into the silence and makes me jump. I glance to my side and see him lying on his back on the roof of his house. Eyes closed, a relaxed smile on his face.

  'Are you trying to give me a heart attack?' I ask him. I move over the small raised line which signifies the change from my roof to his, sit next to him and swat his arm.

  'No, I'm trying to keep myself awake long enough to say goodbye.' He replies, eyes still closed.

  'How's that going for you?' I laugh.

  'I'll let you know when I wake up.' He replies. I swat his arm again.

  'How long have you been out here?'

  'Uh...' He opens his eyes and looks at the leather strapped watch on his arm. He's the only person our age, I know who wears a watch, most people just check the time on their phones. I like that he has one, somehow it suits him. 'Around an hour.' He says lowering his arm back down.

  'Why?' I laugh out loud, 'You could have stayed in bed longer.'

  'Julie wasn't sure what time you were leaving this morning.' He replies, 'And she made me promise I'd get you to call her before you leave.'

  'I will.' I answer. I'd been planning on calling her anyway, which I'd told her yesterday when I went to her house for lunch. I would have called Charles as well if he hadn't been up here.

  'So, are you excited yet?' Charles pulls himself into a sitting position. His legs stretched out in front of him, while I curl mine up to my chest.

  'More nervous than excited.' I reply, biting down on my lower lip, 'I don't know if I'll be good enough.' This is one of the thoughts that has been most frequent recently. I can't seem to shake the idea that somehow I won't be able to cook well enough. I need to be good though, because I saved for so long to be able to afford this summer camp.

  'I've tasted your food, you'll do fine.' He closes his eyes again. Leaning his weight back on his arms and arching his back.

  'You're tired.' I state.

  'No.'

  'Yeah, you are.'

  'A bit.'

  'Go back inside and get some sleep.' I laugh quietly.

  'Yeah, ok.' He opens his eyes and smiles at me, dropping his hand onto my knee. 'Have a great time, ok?'

  'I'll do my very best.' I give him a quick one armed hug. 'Hug your mom for me, and tell her I'll be thinking of her, and let her know I'll be bringing her something amazing home from New York.'

  'I will.' He smiles again, but this time it's not as bright. I nudge his knee with mine.

  'I'll see you at the end of August, and I'll give your mom her present then. Tell her that, ok?' I hold his gaze for a moment, 'I will see her when I get back.'

  'Yeah,' he nods, 'Keep in touch?'

  'Of course.' I brush a strand of sandy blonde hair behind my ear. 'I'll miss you.'

  'You'll be far too busy to miss me.' He grins.

  'You're probably right.' I tease, 'I'll have a new best friend by the end of the first week, you are highly replaceable.'

  'Charming.'

  'Go to bed.'

  'Yes Ma'am.' He grins and heads to his window, stopping just before climbing through, 'Hey Libs?'

  'Yeah.' I turn to look at him, resting the side of my head on my knees.

  'I'll miss you too.' He says, sliding down through his window.

  I stay up on the roof for a while after Charles goes back to bed, taking in the light from the sun, which is starting to warm the chill in the air. I could stay up here all day, but before much more time passes, I hear my phone ringing inside. I've left it on my bed, so I quickly climb back into my room.

  'Loud.' Pippa grumbles from under the pillow she's crammed over her head, just a few strands of hair, the same sandy shade as mine, poke out from beneath it.

  'Sorry,' I stage whisper, scooping up my phone and pressing my finger to the cool screen to answer the call
, as I slip out into the small hallway outside our room. There isn't much to it, just a small space right by the stairs. I sit on the top stair and hold the phone up to my ear.

  'Hello?' I say, unsure who it'll be because in my hurry to stop the noise disturbing Pippa, I hadn't thought to look at the caller ID.

  'Hi, I wasn't sure if you'd call me before you left and I wanted to make sure that I said goodbye. I was going to jog over and say goodbye in person, burn some calories and all that, but it's just so comfy in my bed right now, forgive me? I figured I'd just call you to say goodbye. I still cannot believe you're leaving for the whole summer. I mean this is the second to last summer we'll have before we all go to separate colleges, and you're just taking off. It's so not ideal Libby. I'm going to miss you so much, what will I do without you?' She speaks so quickly, that if I didn't know her as well as I do, I'd probably have trouble figuring out what she's saying.

  'Morning Julie,' I grin once I'm sure her rant has come to an end, 'I was just about to call you. I wouldn't have left without saying goodbye. I know you're going to miss me, I'll miss you too. I know you wanted me here this summer, but this camp was just too good of an opportunity to turn down. As to what you'll do without me, you can hang out with your boyfriend.'

  'Well yeah I have him, but he's not even a little bit interested in shopping, and he won't watch romantic comedies without mocking them...'

  'I don't watch romantic comedies without mocking them.' I point out.

  'And,' she continues like I haven't spoken, 'he's so busy all the time, he barely has any time to devote to me.'

  'Julie, I think you can understand why he's busy.' I say.

  'Well yeah I guess, but it's just so lame that he can't spend much time doing fun stuff. I need you here.'

  'I'll be back before you know it.' I reply, waving a quick hello to my mom who just appeared at the bottom of the stairs. She motions holding a phone to her ear. I mouth 'Julie' to her and she nods and mouths back 'Breakfast in five.' Holding up her hand to indicate five minutes, and then she darts away again.

  'A whole summer without my best friend.' Julie sighs.

  'I only moved here two years ago, you've had plenty of summers without me.' I reason, playing with the frayed edge of my cutoffs. It's strange sometimes to think about moving here just two years ago. This town has felt more like home than anywhere else I've ever lived, and despite only knowing them for two years, it feels as if I've known Charles and Julie my entire life.

  Charles and Julie really have known each other for their whole lives. Charles' mom has known Julie's parents since high school. They used to be best friends, and so naturally Julie and Charles got really close while they were growing up. They became friends early on, and were such good friends, that it didn't matter that they've never been at the same schools. Julie has always been in private schools, while Charles, like me, attends public school.

  The two of them stayed close even when they started making new friends at their own schools, and then eight months ago, they started dating.

  I moved in next door to Charles and his family two years ago, after travelling around for a while, living in a lot of different places with my mom and Pippa. After my mom met Matt though, and got married a mere three months later, we all moved here. We moved in next to Charles, and he became my first friend here. The first real friend I've had in years, ever maybe. He introduced me to Julie, and I suddenly had an instant group of friends.

  'I know you did, but now you do live here and we should be hanging out.' Julie pulls me back into the conversation, her voice whining slightly the way she does when she's not getting what she wants, which isn't often, 'But,' she sighs, 'I suppose you have to go off to New York to become a world class chef.'

  'Come out and visit, we'll take New York by storm.' I suggest.

  'That,' she yawns loudly, 'is the best idea I've heard since I had the idea of dying my hair blonde.'

  'Good.' I laugh, 'Ok, I'm going to get something to eat, and you should go back to sleep.'

  'Deal.' She yawns again. 'Have a great summer, and remember to call me, like everyday.'

  'I will. Bye Julie.'

  'Bye.' She rings off first, no doubt eager to get back to sleep. I push away my own desire to go back to bed, and head downstairs followed by an incredibly sleepy looking Pippa, to enjoy the last family breakfast I'll have for a long time.

  Two – Charles

  About an hour after I went back to bed after I said goodbye to Libby. I'm woken up by someone jumping onto my bed. I share my room with Lewis, but he's thirteen and pretty much past the whole jumping onto beds to wake people up stage. I know that it won't be my fifteen year old sister Katie, because once again, she's way too old to be waking me up like that, and April at only four months, is still far too young to be climbing up to the attic and jumping onto my bed. Which leaves me with two options, one of the twins, because at just five years old, Georgia and Sean love waking people up like this.

  I sigh heavily. I'm really not ready to be awake yet, and especially not ready to be woken up by someone bouncing at the end of my bed. I keep my eyes closed, even though I should know better than that.

  'Charles, Charles, Charles. Wake up.' A little voice chants this over and over again, still bouncing. It's Georgia's voice, high and eager. I keep my eyes closed a fraction longer. A headache already starting.

  'Georgia, would you shut up. It's summer, which means we get to sleep in, so go back to bed before I lock you in the closet.' Lewis threatens. My eyes pop open as Georgia shrieks loudly. This wouldn't be the first time Lewis has locked Georgia in a closet, and she hates it, which isn't surprising.

  'Lewis, don't scare her like that.' I groan, sitting up in bed so I can scoop a still screaming Georgia into my lap. 'Georgia he's not going to put you in the closet.' I say, keeping one arm protectively around her, while I use my spare hand to search my bedside cabinet for some pain killers.

  'But he might.' Georgia burrows herself against me, as I pop two little white pills into my mouth, swallowing them down with some water from the glass I always bring to bed with me, and hardly ever touch. Force of habit I guess.

  'I won't let him.' I assure her. 'Now, what did you want me for?'

  'It's not for me,' Georgia says, folding her little arms over her chest, 'I was doing something good and he was mean.' Her hand shoots out and points to Lewis.

  'Well, he isn't now, so what were you coming up here for?'

  'I came up because of mom.' She says.

  'Ok,' I get to my feet, swinging her onto my hip as I do, 'what does mom need?'

  'She's doing that thing again. The thing you told us to tell you she was doing if we saw her, the see...the see...' She frowns in frustration. She loves learning and hates not knowing the right word for something. I put her into my bed, quickly putting the covers over her.

  'Seizure.' I say, giving her the word, 'Go back to sleep, ok?' I'm already at the door.

  'But I'm not...'

  'Please Georgia.' I call back. I head out of my room and take the steps two at a time. I find my mom on the floor outside the bathroom. No longer having a seizure, but from one glance I can tell that she's lost function in her right side. I kneel down at her left side and she takes my hand. Smiling through her tears.

  'Sorry Charles. I told Georgia not to wake you, the seizure had passed before she went to get you.' She smiles weakly.

  'It's fine, they should always come get me.' I say checking her over. Checking for injuries that may have been caused by the uncontrollable shaking. She seems ok, 'Do you need me to call you an ambulance?'

  'No, no, it's fine. You know how these silly seizures work. I haven't injured myself, and past records prove that I'll regain movement in my right side in a little while.' She ruffles my hair with her left hand, the way she always did when I was a kid. 'I'm just so tired.'

  'I'll help you get back to bed so you can sleep it off.' I kiss the top of her head, then get to my feet. I carefully bend and hold her
under her arms, pulling her as gently as I can into a standing position. She's weak, and she sags against me unable to stand, too weak to walk. She's so thin now that it doesn't matter, I don't even wobble when she lands against me. She's so light that I'm easily able to lift her up, almost as easily as I can pick Georgia up. Her head lolls against my shoulder, and I can see her struggling not to cry. I hold her a little tighter, a silent sign that it's ok, and then I take her into her room.

  It's dark in here, heavy drapes are pulled across the window to keep out the light that often hurts her head. It's getting a little musty though, so I make a mental note to air the room out later.

  Carefully, I lay my mom down in her unmade bed, tuck the covers in around her and then slip out of the room as she falls into what I hope is a comfortable sleep.

  I click the door into place once I'm outside, slide down the wall and bury my head in my hands.

  Three – Julie

  It's only eight in the morning so I know that can't be my phone ringing. In no universe that I would ever reside in, would my phone be ringing at eight in the morning, on a day when I don't have to get up for school. Everyone I know knows not to call me before at least nine during the summer, and so of course I know for a certainty that it can't be my phone.

  I roll back over in my brand new four poster bed that my parents had specially made for me, and shipped in from France. My silk pillows slip a little under my head and so I have to readjust, but in a few seconds I'm comfortable again. Eyes closing and breath evening out and then I feel myself slipping back into sleep, when yet again the loud ringing starts. Please tell me this is a joke.

  I pull myself upright, push my eye mask up and reach for my phone. Charles name and picture flash up on screen. It's one of my favorite photos of the two of us, taken this past spring down on the beach. His dark blonde hair is slightly wavy from being in the water. His skin is lightly tanned and he's kissing my cheek. The best part of the photo, though, is that in this particular photo, I have my hair braided into a tonne of tiny little braids, which Libby had spent over an hour doing for me, and I'm wearing this adorable blue bathing suit and I'm tanned and happy.