Fool Me Once

by Sandra Lee

  “Then obviously, I am having a snack.”

  Argh, how she wanted to slap the smile off his face. Why did he always make her act so…so… she couldn’t find a word to adequately describe the childish, stupid way she was acting.

  “Oh” she said in frustration, unable to find anything else more intelligent or appropriate to say. All rational thoughts had left her mind.

  “Now, if you will please forgive me, I have to go back to a woman worthy of my time.” He added in a tone that told her he remembered the words she had said to him that night, a lifetime ago, yesterday…the arrogant bastard! She felt her hand grab for a glass on a nearby table and threw the content in his smirking face.

  What the hell had just happened here? He looked at Eva and saw the telltale empty glass still clutched in her fist. The little bitch!

  Seeing the water droplets running down his face, her hands flew to her mouth, and her eyes grew wide in shock. She couldn’t believe she’d just done that. His face remained blank, but his eyes burned through hers, promising retribution. He grabbed her arm and half-dragged her in the back room. Unwilling to aggravate the situation, she followed him. Once inside, she disengaged herself from him.

  “Let go of me, you…you caveman!” Her eyes shone in anger, her chest rising fast.

  “I am the caveman? Let me remind you that you are the one who assaulted me, twice! First, you slapped me, and then empty a glass of water on my head. What the hell is your problem?”

  “My problem? MY problem? I am not the one who came back into town you know. I am not the one who was a total A- hole eight years ago. You are a heartless bastard, and let it be said that both time I allegedly assaulted you, you provoked me into it.” She said her voice rising with anger.

  “Oh I provoked you?” He asked cool and controlled.

  “Yes! Damn you, you did!” Eva had the horrible feeling she was just about to cry. Swallowing her tears, she forced herself to look at him.” Now, get the hell out!”

  “Eva, you know better then to provoke me, you know what happens if you do. I have to shut you up.” He drawled.

  “Shut me up?” she asked incredulously.” You can’t just shut me up, this…”

  Her words got lost as he grabbed her and claimed her lips in a punishing kiss, She swore she meant to resist. She did not want to kiss him, really she didn’t…but it felt so good. She hadn’t felt so alive in so long. Against her will, heat started to build inside her. Sighing she gave up any ideas of resistance and melted in his arms. Sensing her surrender, Jake softened the kiss. Eva empty of all rational thoughts responded passionately.

  God! She felt so good in his arms, so pliant, so soft. Her lips tasted of heaven and raspberries, her skin felt like velvet, he wanted her more then he had ever wanted another woman. He never wanted to stop, never wanted to let her go. The scariest part though, was that that thought no longer scared him.

  A discreet cough slowly brought them back to reality. Jake looked up and saw James looking shocked and somewhat uncomfortable. He looked down and saw that Eva was flushed, either with excitement or embarrassment, he couldn’t tell. He also saw a flicker of what he had seen in her eyes so long ago, when she used to look at him. He couldn’t let that happen. She had to keep on hating him; he had to keep on blaming her. She had reinforced his beliefs about love that long ago winter night, he couldn’t trust her, didn’t want to trust her. He wasn’t going to let down his guards, because of a single little sign of…of…nothing! Out of his daze and madness he pushed her out of his arms.

  “So hmmm, I guess he isn’t huh?” At those words, James laughed awkwardly and went back into the party room.

  “Is that another one of your conquest?” Jake’s voice was daunting.

  “Get the hell out of my face, and out of my life Jake. I swear…” He interrupted her. He was good at that. He had to hurt her, had to say the words he knew were true out loud because if he didn’t, he would forget what had happened between them and he couldn’t afford to let that happen.

  “Still very much hot tempered are you? But I know you still want me. Ironic isn’t it? You say you hate me, yet I kiss you and you melt. Don’t you think it’s a tiny bit too late for your cries of outrage? Need I remind you how you were in my arms only a minute ago? You know if I chose I could take you, only I don’t choose. Is that what makes you so angry Unable to accept I have rejected you twice already? A first for you?” He laughed bitterly.

  “Of all the things you’ve said, I think this is the most despicable one. I must have been really naïve and stupid to ever be interested in you. My god, I kissed you back, sure I did. Why not? Maybe I was thinking of my lover while I was kissing you, of my many lovers! According to you, I am such a sexed individual. I could almost be called a nympho. You should just come out and say it like it is. Well…” she said with what she thought was a sexy smile, she wasn’t very good with those things. “With me wanting so many men, having so many desires, I cannot ever be content now, can I? I kissed you, you must understand, it had been at least 25 minutes since my last sexual encounter. I needed some, and I needed it right away, regardless of who it was. You conveniently fell into my grasp…how could I resist.” She looked at Jake, and with sudden anger flashing in her eyes. “It is all about you isn’t it? Must you always be right? The idea that you may have been wrong never crossed your mind; this being a rhetorical question of course. I already know your answer; you don’t need to say a thing. Now, I will say it for the last time, get out!” Her voice had lost all fight; she suddenly looked and sounded weary and exhausted.

  For a second, but one only, she thought she saw a battle being fought within him, she thought she saw a flicker of confusion in his green eyes, but she dismissed the idea right away as wishful thinking, for after a blink, the flicker was lost and once again his eyes were cold and mocking.

  “Lover huh? The guy that was here? He certainly seemed stricken enough. Anyway I bet you got lots of those, considering your ability to seduce. Ah, but I bet they don’t stay. After a couple of hot nights discovering your body, they start seeing the selfish, conniving heart hidden behind.”

  She felt herself turn crimson as his eyes slowly moved up the length of her body. Taking in the long shapely legs encased in sheer black nylon, the slim waist and the high breast. He didn’t miss an inch, his eyes showed desire, but as soon as he got to her face, they went hard again. His hand reached for her cheek.

  “The face of an angel, the body of a sinner and the mind of the devil.”

  She stiffened and backed away.

  “You are doing it again.” She said in a whisper.

  Jake looked uncertain for a second.

  “Speaking the truth straight to your face? Bah, don’t tell me there was never a moment in your life when someone told you the exact same thing I just said.”

  She met his gaze unwavering.

  “Yes I guess you are right. Someone did once. Eight years ago to be precise. An arrogant, disgusting jerk thought it was fun to toy with a young woman’s feelings. Contrary to what you may still believe today, I did not kiss Ben, not that night, not ever again. Ever heard of a man forcing himself on a girl, oh yes of course you would know, you are well versed in the subject. I never lied to you, I may have omitted a detail at some point but I didn’t lie, all I told you that night was true. I just wanted to spend time with the man I thought I loved.”

  Come on! Did she think he would fall for that innocent act? He was not that naïve damn it! Was he?

  “Don’t…”

  “No! You will let me finish what I have to say, and then you may speak. Or best, you can just go away.”

  She dismissed his attempt to talk with a raised hand.

  “Instead of maybe trying to let me down easy, you insulted and threw accusation at me; accusations that were not founded. If you couldn’t handle a girl liking, loving you, you only had to say so. But no, you were too much of a coward to admit that there was more to me then you wanted to see.” At th
ose words he flinched, she didn’t know how close she was to the truth.” I explained myself to you, told you the truth, yet you still refused to believe me. For months, I was devastated. Now I know it wasn’t because I loved you so much and all that b.s. No, now I know it was because I once again was made to believe I wasn’t woman enough, and because I was left with no answers, I was left to feel ashamed for something I hadn’t done. And that Jake, that really hurt. But I am all grown up now, not the little 18 year old you left crushed on her driveway. So you may try to hurt me and cut me as deeply as you did eight years ago, it might seem like fun to you, may make you feel like more of a man, but it wont work. Not anymore. I know I am a good person, and nothing you can say will ever change that. I hope that all the pain you have caused in you wake catches up to you.”

  She watched as he had the decency to blanch slightly. He opened his mouth as if to speak but seemed to think better of it. His eyes searched her face. What he saw were deep blue eyes, filled with painful memories and tears, cheeks that were flushed, a full mouth swollen by his bruising kiss, and shoulders held high. But what his eyes were looking for he couldn’t find, couldn’t see the hardness and coldness he knew she was made of, instead he saw something he had never noticed before. His hands once again started to reach for her cheek, then suddenly dropped to his side as he abruptly turned and left back to the party.

  He couldn’t let himself care, or even feel for the pain she went through because of him, the pain she said wanted to catch up with him. Little did she know, he was already feeling the pain; he had felt it for as long as he could remember. Plastering a smile on his face he went back to his date, Shelley. A woman he was sure he could never be hurt by, because he could never care for her, not on a more then just basic level anyway. He felt uneasy and ashamed for hurting Eva again today. He pushed the unwelcome feelings aside and pretended to have a blasted good time.

  Chapter five

  Shaking, Eva dropped on a chair; no longer able to hold her tears back, she let them fall freely. She knew she should have felt relieved he finally left, but she couldn’t. She felt cold and alone. Her anger had left her drained. His absence…well she didn’t want to think about it. She was not going to let herself care for that cold-hearted man again, the man who once broke her heart and who had made it clear he couldn’t stand the sight of her. She heard the door open, and felt James engulf her in his arms.

  “There honey, you alright? Because if you aren’t, no matter how cute he is, I will go and give him a piece of my mind. And trust me, it won’t be pretty.”

  Smiling weakly, she looked at her best friend, hugged him back and started sobbing on his shoulder.

  “Oh James, what would I do without you.”

  Stroking her hair, he sighed.

  “Well darlin’. As much as it pains me to say so, without me you’d be doing just fine. But I am glad to be here for you. Come on let’s blow this party, we can leave it to the competent personnel we got. We can go grab a coffee somewhere quieter.”

  His eyes jokingly seductive, he winked at her.

  “Let’s go somewhere more private. Shall we make it your place or mine?”

  With fake cheerfulness, she took his hands and played along.

  “Let’s make it mine, I got a nice view and I got no nosy neighbor.”

  Behind them, the door opened.

  “Listen Eva, I’m…”

  He stopped mid-sentence when he saw James holding Eva’s hand, when he saw her laughing with him. His lips tightened and the soft look he had in his eyes hardened.

  “Ah, I almost fell for your little speech, once again. I knew I shouldn’t have let my guard down.” Looking straight into Eva’s eyes he addressed James.

  “Eh man, sorry for kissing her, but I want you to know, I took nothing that wasn’t offered to me. I see you forgave her fast. She’s got a sexy body, I’ll give that to you, but she the most deceitful creature I have ever met. Don’t let yourself be fooled by those innocent eyes. My advice to you is take as much as you can from her, and then run away. As far and as fast as you can.

  His gaze never wavered from Eva’s during his little speech. He saw her face drain of all color, her large cerulean eyes brighten with more tears, one threatening to fall unto her cheek, her rounded chin held up and high. He saw it all, and what he saw was like a blow to his mid-section. He couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe once again he was wrong. That maybe appearances were not always what they seemed. Then he saw…stars? He heard muffled voices above as he hit the hard floor.

  “James!”

  “I’m sorry Eva, but he had no right saying things like that to you. I couldn’t just stand there like an idiot while that jerk insulted you. He asked for it.” Then he grinned.” And since I am a very obliging fellow, I obliged. Don’t worry, he’ll live.”

  “Oh James, you’re the best friend a woman could ever ask for.” She impulsively hugged him tight.” I would love to see the shiner he will have in the morning.” She laughed.

  Groaning, Jake opened his one good eye, and squinted through the already swelling one. He stood up and glared as best he could at James.

  “What the hell?”

  “You shut up and leave, unless you’d like me to even things out?”

  Trying to clear his thoughts, Jake shook his head. What the hell was this guy’s problem. He had only been trying to warn him off the witch, pretty witch maybe, but witch nonetheless. Fine he was welcome to her, and he hoped Eva would use him and discard him just like he deserved. Idiot didn’t even know to take good advice. Slamming the door behind him, he went. He was going home, away from all this craziness and the stupid impression he was missing the point. He shook his head in a vain attempt to shake that feeling off. He couldn’t wait to be home. He had a nice bottle of scotch waiting for him there. He thought that tonight was a great occasion to open and drain it all. How did he come out as the bad guy again, when all he had wanted to do was warn the poor fellow off her? HAH! Still there was this nagging feeling at the back of his mind that maybe his words had not been for the other man, but for himself. That the words were said because of the unfathomable reason he could not bear to see her with another man. That he knew somehow that what she told him was true, had known it all along, but was hiding behind his truth. Nah! That was crazy, he was just tired. He didn’t care how many men she had, didn’t give a damn, not one iota of it. She proved him right again tonight, as cunning as ever it seemed. Kissing him one minute and making plans to go to her apartment with another man the next. He was glad it happened in a way; it would help him greatly in his endeavor not to care for her.

  She tightened her arms around her middle, the night air was cooler then she had expected. And stupid as she was, she had not brought her coat with her, not that that was the stupidest thing she had done that evening. She quickened her pace, wary of the dark and still streets. Nor a car in sights, not a porch light to light her way, nothing. That just went further to reinforce her previous thoughts that she had gone insane. What was she doing on a dark street, when everyone else was safe in their home? Why hadn’t she gone to bed or stayed in it, as it was the case here. He did not deserve a second thought, much less for someone to get up in the middle of the night to go check up on him. He didn’t deserve her to feel guilty about what happened. But no, SHE, the woman he hated most in the world, the reason why he got hit in the first place, well she wasn’t really the reason, he truly did deserve the right punch he had received, she had to leave the comfort of her bed and walk all the way across town to check on the insufferable jerk. Even now, almost having reached her destination, she had no idea as to what compelled her to do such a stupid thing. She was definitely insane; her brain seemed to have died lately.

  “I am an idiot.” She said out loud

  Despite knowing she was making a mistake, she kept on walking, clenching her car keys in between her fingers, small security, but it made her feel safer. Why did she have to leave her car at the hall and hitched a ride
with James, today of all days. Why couldn’t she have waited till morning to make sure he was ok, better yet, why did she even care whether he was ok? Walking in the city at night was not adventurous, it was plain stupid; damn she truly was an imbecile. She buried her nose in the thick turtleneck of her black sweater, trying to hide. Invisible was good. She kept on walking. Soon she reached the address she had gotten from the phone book. The house looked dark and dangerous in the deep of the night. The porch steps creaked as she went up. It took all the nerves and courage she had left to ring the doorbell. . The ringing was louder then she expected and she jumped in surprise. She looked around; afraid she may have woken up the neighbors. No. She sighed deeply, relieved. She waited a minute, and then hesitated before ringing the bell again. She heard a crash, quickly followed by a muffled groan. Quickly, she turned around and was ready to escape when the door opened violently behind her.

  “What the hell do you want?”

  He slurred, his eyes, well the one she could see anyway, was puffy and red, and he wasn’t too steady on his feet. She suddenly realized he was completely drunk. Oh my! She thought, what had she gotten into.

  “Well, well; if it isn’t the men eater. What can I do you for this evening? Couldn’t find a poor sucker to relieve your baser instinct, so you came to me?”

  He laughed loudly and kept staring, looking her up and down. He licked his lips in an overacted gesture.

  “Wanna come in?”

  She hesitated. What was she doing here, what could she tell him. Her little lecture prepared as she was trying to get some sleep escaped her. She tried to tear her gaze away from his naked chest, try to remember something, anything. All she could think of was that he was wearing nothing but a pair of jeans riding low on his hips, his feet were bare, his chest…shaking her head, she closed her eyes and tried to regain her cool.

  “I…I…I, well I…”