by Kit Morgan
“Was he born that way?” Lillie asked.
“No, he lost his hearing over time. Like you, am I right?”
“Not really. I lost it when I was little.”
Zadie frowned and thought a moment. “Something your father did?” she guessed.
Lillie stared at her shoes and nodded sadly.
Zadie put her hand under Lillie’s chin and lifted Lillie’s head up to see what she was about to say. “What he did was bad – and not your fault, not ever. How did you learn to talk as well as you do now?”
“My mother read to me a lot, and I read as well. She would help me say words correctly. It was hard at first. But we worked out a system.”
Jess walked over to the porch rail. “Is your hearing getting any worse?”
Lillie looked into his eyes and shook her head. “It’s been this bad since I was tiny. But you see now why I can’t … I just can’t …”
Jess took Lillie from Zadie and turned her to face him. “That’s no reason. I already told you. You can and, if I have my way, you will.”
“But …”
Jess’s jaw clenched. Without warning he scooped Lillie into his arms and marched back into the house.
“Jess!” Zadie called after him.
Anson grabbed her as she started after him. “No, let him go. He’s taking her back to her room.”
“All the more reason one of us should be there!”
“It would embarrass Lillie. I know he’s only going to try to talk some sense into her – nothing untoward. Give them some time, then go up.”
“Oh all right.” Zadie stepped into the front hall and glanced at the stairs. “I’ll give him ten minutes.”
Anson chuckled. “If I know my cousin, he’ll only need five.”
* * *
“Lillie, listen to me.” Jess set her on the bed. “I want to marry you, just as I said and for the same reasons.”
She tried not to glare at him, but couldn’t help it. “You’re a fool.”
“No, you are.”
She gasped.
He sat down next to her. “I’m only trying to protect you.”
“You don’t even know me!”
He put his hands on her shoulders. “I think I do. As a young girl the only person who truly loved you was your mother. Your father was a bad man – he cost you your hearing and beat your mother. Then your mother was gone, and you were stuck with your father these last years under deplorable conditions. Finally your father did something so awful you finally had enough and left. When you did, he shot at you – intentional or an accident, it doesn’t matter. But you got away. Despite your hearing, you still speak well, and you can cook and clean, because you did it for your pa. And you’re tough or you wouldn’t have gotten this far with that hole in your leg. Now, do you think that maybe I know you a little?”
She pressed her lips together but said nothing. He knew she understood him. She was getting angry, which is what he wanted. He knew she had some backbone, or how could she have endured her father all this time? Fear had kept her his prisoner, not stupidity like her cad of a father thought. Enough time away from him and she’d understand the difference.
“More importantly, how does any of that make you stupid?”
Her lower lip trembled and she turned her face away.
He tucked a finger under her chin and made her look at him again. “Lillie, what you did was the smartest thing possible in those circumstances. You knew you didn’t have to go back. In fact, your father would rather you didn’t.”
She blinked back tears. “What you said earlier … is true?”
He nodded. “Yes. I asked for your hand, and he said yes.”
Her brow puckered with confusion. “He hates me that much …”
“You’re better off without him. He even wrote a note giving his consent so I can marry you now and not have to wait for you to turn eighteen.”
Her mouth dropped open. “But … I’m already eighteen!” Her eyes skirted around the room, as if she was calculating numbers in her head to make sure. “Yes … yes, I am. I’ll be nineteen in the fall. I was born in October.”
Jess frowned. That snake Herman had swindled him out of fifty dollars! No help for it now, but all the more reason to keep Lillie away from him. He put an arm around her and drew her close, not caring if it was improper or not. “He’s a selfish man, Lillie.”
“I know. But he was all the family I had.”
He drew closer. “Let me be your family now. Anson and Zadie, too. And we’ve got plenty of relatives, good people”
“I don’t really belong here …”
“Sure you do. Besides, if not here, where? Not back with your father, that’s for certain.”
“I guess I must not mean much to him.”
Jess smirked. “No one means much to him except himself and John Barleycorn. Forget about him for now. I know that’s asking a lot, with how much he’s hurt you.”
She nodded as her shoulders shook with silent sobs.
Jess held her tight. He ran a hand over her back to comfort her and leaned his head against hers. “I’ll take care of you, Lillie,” he told her, even though she couldn’t hear him. “I’ll make you forget all the pain he’s ever caused you. And I’ll love you, you’ll see. We’ll get to know each other while we’re courting. We’ll fall in love, just like they do in those books. We’ll marry and have children and you won’t think of him again.”
“Ahem …” Jess froze as Zadie stepped into the room, a smile on her face. “Bravo. Too bad she didn’t hear a word of it.”
Jess audibly gulped. “But you did?”
“Oh yes. But now you’d best go.” She pointed at the door.
* * *
Lillie’s tears dried as Jess held her and spoke to her. Amazingly, with his head in contact with hers, she could tell every word he was saying, every promise he made. It vibrated through her skull, like a struck bell. It felt wonderful, and his words felt wonderful too. She wondered if he even realized she could hear him this way. He still wanted to marry her? She couldn’t grasp why, but she wasn’t going to object right now.
She was still shocked by what her father had done. But what could she expect? The man didn’t even know how old she was, had never bothered to keep track or say “happy birthday” when one came along. For all she knew, he’d forgotten when it was.
She sensed someone else in the room, and Jess pulled away. “I have to go now,” he said. “I want you to think on what we talked about. I’d like to court you, Lillie, as is proper.” He shot a glance at Zadie, who stood in the doorway, indicating he needed to leave.
Lillie forced a smile. “I’ll think about it.” She wanted to trust him, but it was hard. True, she couldn’t sense any ill will toward her – he seemed kind-hearted and sincere. But Pa sometimes had been kindly … when he wanted something. As for being sincere, he’d hit her and her mother sincerely enough …
“I’ll see you at breakfast,” Jess told her.
“Breakfast?”
“Of course. You ate supper with us tonight – you can start eating all your meals with us.”
“Oh yes … thank you.”
He laughed. “You’re thanking me because you’re well enough to eat with us?”
She smiled despite her muddled emotions. “I’m sorry, it’s … I suppose I’m thanking you for making me feel welcome.”
“I understand. I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now. I myself have a wonderful family. I’d love for you to meet them one day.”
She studied his face for any sign that he was lying. But he wasn’t – she could see it in his eyes. Maybe he really did want to marry her. “Why?”
He stood. “Why what?”
She gazed up at him. “Why me?”
He cocked his head to one side like a curious puppy, then bent down so they were face to face. “Why not you?” He grinned, straightened and left the room.
Lillie sighed as a chill went up her spine. �
��Jess Jones,” she whispered. She couldn’t hear herself, but it didn’t seem to bother the man who’d just left.
Yet.
* * *
The next morning, Lillie dressed and went downstairs – both with help from Zadie – but set the table for breakfast herself. It was the least she could do, considering all the kindness Zadie and her family had shown her since Jess discovered her in the barn. She felt stronger today and was walking better. The wound had scabbed over and only hurt if she moved wrong. She was still very careful, and knew how lucky she was. If it had become infected, she’d have been in a bad way indeed.
“If you’re up to it,” Zadie said, invading her thoughts, “you can help me with the mending after breakfast. When it was just Anson and me, there wasn’t much. But ever since Jess got here, I swear it’s tripled! That man is hard on his clothes.”
Lillie’s heart beat a little faster at the thought of mending Jess’s clothes for him. She turned from Zadie, reached for the cups and saucers on a shelf and put them on the table. “I’d be happy to help. It will be nice to have something to do beside sit in bed all day.”
Zadie, she noticed, waited for her to face her again before she spoke. “I think you’re ready. But if you get tired, let me know.”
Lillie nodded, still smiling. She knew how much work there was at times taking care of Pa, and couldn’t imagine taking care of two men. She was about to find out, but without having to worry about being hard-driven – or, she hoped, hit. She watched Zadie tended to the cookstove, then looked out the kitchen window near the back door. She had a view of the barn, where it all started. If she hadn’t seen it that day, she might be dead.
It had been before dawn when she’d happened upon the ranch. She was weak from blood loss and by all rights should never have made it as far as she did. She’d kept pressure on the wound as best she could, but could only do so well at that while fleeing. She had no idea what had happened to her shoes. She remembered crossing a stream at one point – had she taken them off and forgotten to put them back on? She was disoriented by the time she caught sight of the barn, so perhaps she had …
Zadie touched her on the shoulder, and she turned. “Would you like some coffee? It’s ready.”
“Yes, thank you. I’ll get it.” She poured herself a cup. “Would you like some?” she asked Zadie.
“Yes. The men will be in soon, but we’ll wait to pour theirs. Jess likes his nice and hot.”
Lillie felt herself smile as she handed Zadie her cup. She couldn’t seem to help herself.
“He has some favorite recipes. I can teach you how to make them.”
“I’d like that – thank you.”
Zadie sipped her coffee, then went to a sugar bowl and spooned in a little. She turned back to Lillie as she stirred. “He’s sincere, you know.”
Lillie swallowed hard. “I … well … I hope he is. I want to believe …”
“Give it time and you will. At least give him a chance. He really does mean what he says. He’s willing to marry you, Lillie, to protect you.”
“Willing,” she repeated. “It’s not the same as wanting, is it?”
Zadie pressed her lips together a moment. “He feels a strong sense of responsibility, yes, but I also know he likes it here. He plans on staying with us for the next few years. Anson has even suggested he get a mail-order bride like me.”
“You were a mail-order bride?”
“Yes, I was and I don’t regret it at all. Oh, it was rough at first, but we managed.”
“But this is different,” Lillie protested.
“How? Unless you’re not looking to get married.”
Lillie felt the hot sting of tears threaten. “I just … never thought I could.”
Zadie set her cup down and went to her. “Because you couldn’t hear?”
“He feels sorry for me …”
“He cares about you,” Zadie said, cutting her off. “That’s who he is.”
Lillie could only stare.
“Do me a favor, Lillie. Just give him a chance.”
She blew out a long breath. “I’ll try.”
Ten
Lillie was quiet through breakfast, but so was everyone else. Not much was said after Anson prayed the blessing other than a short conversation between the men about their stud horse, Julius Caesar. She thought it a funny name for a horse.
But after the meal she got to see him in the barn and understood better. “He’s beautiful,” she whispered as Jess brought him out of a stall.
“Yes, and he’s grown very popular in these parts,” he told her. “In fact, he’s the reason I’m here.”
“He is? Why is that?”
“I’m training some of his colts to send back to Clear Creek. My father will sell them there.”
“Oh, I see.” She wondered how long the horse talk would last. Would he ask her again about their conversation of last night, or leave it be?
“My father’s ranch in Oregon is bigger than this one,” he commented.
Luckily, she had still been looking at him. “Your family sounds … large.”
“Oh, it is. Anson and I have more aunts, uncles and cousins than we care to count.”
“I hope that’s not a bad thing,” she said with a smile.
“No, but you should see it when we all get together!” He motioned her toward the barn door.
She preceded him out and waited for him to lead Julius Caesar into the yard. “What are you going to do?”
“Take him over to the corral, saddle him and ride him for awhile.”
“Do you have to go to town?”
“No, he just needs exercise. Anson rides him mostly, but lately we’ve been doing so much work around here, he hasn’t had the chance.”
She forced herself to look at him to see if he’d say anything else. She could feel her cheeks grow hot and couldn’t figure out why. Maybe because she wasn’t just staring at his face, but his broad chest as well. She needed to look away, collect herself.
But then he started talking again. “Would you like to watch?” he asked as he stepped closer.
Lillie’s throat went dry. She noticed his scent and realized she’d never paid attention to it before, not like she was today. He smelled of soap, leather, a little sweat and something she wasn’t familiar with, but could only conclude was, well, him. It was a pleasant smell and she wanted to get closer to see if she was right.
Jess smiled. Oh good grief! Had she taken a step without thinking? “You’re a pretty sight to behold, Miss Lillie.”
She felt the delicate brush of his breath on her face and wondered if he’d whispered the words. It was hard for her to tell by sight alone. But this close …
Julius Caesar munched on the tender grass as Jess continued to study her face. She didn’t know what to do other than let him. She was wondering if he was still holding onto the lead rope when he lifted a hand and cupped her cheek. “Lillie …” Whispered, yes, that was definitely whispered.
She felt her knees grow weak. No one had ever made her feel like this before, whatever the feeling was, but she knew she liked it. Her breathing picked up as her eyes roamed his face.
“Ah, Lillie …”
She swallowed hard. What was happening? Her heart sped up, her belly was doing flip-flops and she felt like she was floating on air.
He brought his face closer. She could no longer see him, but felt his breath on her ear. Then he gently kissed it. A shiver ran up her spine as her head spun. “Jess …” She wasn’t even sure if she’d spoken aloud – sometimes it was hard to tell.
He rested his forehead against hers and put a hand over the ear he’d just kissed, then looked at her and smiled. “I guess I couldn’t help myself. I’m sorry.”
She closed her eyes and smiled, hearing his voice through where their heads met. When she opened them, she caught the admiration in his eyes. No, it was more than that … but what? She licked her lips, not knowing what to say.
He pulled back an inch, a
nd it felt like miles. “I’d, um, better get to work. Do you still want to watch?”
She nodded.
He smiled, took her hand with his free one and headed for the corral.
* * *
Now he’d done it. He’d kissed her – not in the typical way, but kissed her nonetheless. And she didn’t slap him. Maybe she was too shocked to. From what she’d told him about her life, it might be her first kiss, even if it was on the ear.
For some reason kissing her there seemed more intimate, like it would have more meaning. Her hearing loss didn’t bother him, and he wanted her to know that. She was incredibly smart – that she could not only speak but read lips so well was astonishing. It was a shame she and her mother had been ill-treated by her father for so long. He wondered if Herman Mayer had killed Lillie’s mother, but how to prove it? By now, he was probably long gone from Morgan’s Crossing anyway.
But what if he wasn’t? Hmmm, Jess mused as he saddled Julius. He glanced at Lillie, smiled and winked. She smiled back, leaning against the corral fence to watch him. If Herman was still around, he might yet cause trouble. But Jess could cause him more. The man would be a fool to come sneaking around the ranch, no doubt about it.
Done with the task at hand, Jess mounted and began to ride around the corral to warm the horse up. That done, he motioned for Lillie to open the corral gate. She did, and he rode the horse out into the barnyard. “Want to go for a ride?”
Her eyes went wide and she gulped. “Oh no, no … I don’t think so …”
He leaned forward and rested an arm on the saddle horn. “Don’t tell me you’ve never been on a horse before?”
“Never.” And from the look of horror on her face, she meant it.
He made a shocked face, teasing her, then smiled when she giggled. “Around here it’s a good thing to know how to do. I guess I’ll have to teach you.” He dismounted.
She backed up a few steps. “What are you doing?”
“I’m going to give you a ride.”