“You have every right to be.” He patted my arm. “My brave soldier.”
“Soldier? Puh-leeze! So,” I said, recalling Walter’s warning about the rain, “is this Walter’s car? Is that why he was getting on your case about putting the top up?”
“Yeah. He lets me borrow it a lot because he doesn’t use it much.” Miles pulled into a loading zone. “Wait here. Don’t let them tow the car! I’ll pick up our order. My treat.”
“Well, aren’t you the gentleman?” Miles hurried down the street toward what appeared to be a laundromat. But a line snaked out the door, so I assumed Sandy’s must be inside. I tapped my fingers on the side of the sports car. It bothered me that Miles was borrowing Walter’s car, but what could you expect? Miles was twenty-two years old and probably hadn’t gotten the funds together to afford the kinds of things Walter could. Although it surprised me that Walter owned a red sports car. Lots about Walter now as opposed to Walter then was surprising. I so would not have predicted him living this life. Living in paradise. But why, then, was Walter so miserable? Damn. Stop thinking about Walter!
After a short wait, Miles emerged carrying a big white bag and two drink cans. He held the bag aloft—“Cuban sandwiches!” Then the cans—“Cuban soda!” I smiled at his air of delight.
Wonderful smells wafting from the bag, sodas rattling in the cup holders, we pulled out of the loading zone, and Miles turned onto a road that skirted the water. Soon we were spinning along, the ocean spread out like a blue comforter beside us. We watched the sky deepen to purple as the sun continued to sink beyond the horizon, and I leaned back and let out a sigh of pure contentment. This was the life, man.
“Happy?” Miles asked.
“Ecstatic, doll.”
“Awesome. We’re almost to the cove. It’s on the next island over—Stock Island.”
“Lead on, my good sir.” I ran my fingers up his bare arm. “I’m putty in your hands.”
Miles smiled and shook his head. “I’ll believe that when I see it, Tony. You don’t mind me calling you that?”
“Love it! It’s what Jonny calls me, but most people don’t. As long as you don’t call me Antonio. That’s reserved for Marco.”
“Jeez, Marco. Talk about a megababe.”
“Tell me about it.” I leered, and we laughed.
“He and Jonathan aren’t into sharing, are they?”
I choked on my laughter. “Bite your tongue! That’s my cousin you’re talking about!”
“Oh, right. Forget I said anything.” He smirked. “I was just joking. I think you’re going to be enough of a handful by yourself.”
As flings go, Miles was top-notch. All I had to do was quell the nagging sense that Walter and he had something going on. But why should I care? Hmm, let me rephrase that. I’m not one to cut in on someone else’s action, especially when they’re in a committed thing. Infidelity—not my scene. But Miles and Walter were either not involved at all, or if they were, they appeared to be in quite the open relationship. No, that wasn’t the issue.
The issue was damn Walter Elkins and the way his sad, grim face kept coming into my mind. I huffed in annoyance and tried to purge all thoughts of Walter. This was my vacation and I had a beautiful young man taking me out, and I planned to take full advantage of what he was offering. Walter was history, and a painful one, at that.
“Here we are.” Miles pulled into a small parking area lined by those stubby trees that seemed to grow all over. The place was deserted, and I couldn’t see the water from there.
“Are we picnicking in the woods?”
“It looks like it, doesn’t it? There’s actually a path to this cool cove that someone showed me. I guess people don’t know about it, because there’s never anyone there.”
Miles picked up a blanket and knapsack from the back while I juggled our sodas and the sandwich bag.
Once we were out of the car, I paused. “Don’t you want to put the top up, just in case?”
Miles shook his head. “No need. It’s not going to rain. Walter just needs to take a chill pill.”
“Okay, babe.”
We hoofed it along a winding path that eventually led to a sheltered cove bordered by a strip of ground big enough for a blanket.
“Wow.” Waves lapped gently at the shore. As I gazed I noted more clouds in the sky, but it was still mostly clear, and the slender crescent of the moon shone down. “You know how to pick ’em, kid.”
“You’re right.” Only Miles was gazing at me, not the view.
Ye gods. Miles couldn’t seriously be sweet on me, could he? If so, he was breaking all the rules of hookups and flings.
“Let’s eat!” I said brightly, trying to dispel the charged atmosphere.
“Cool.”
Miles spread out a blanket, and I sat and got out our sandwiches and fries as he opened the sodas and handed me one.
“A toast!” I said, holding up my can. “To another fucking day in paradise.”
“Amen to that.”
“Mm, this is good.” I took another swig of the lemon-lime drink and checked out the label. “Cawy? Never heard of it.”
“Well, yeah. Boston probably doesn’t carry it. Glad you like it.”
When I bit into the sandwich—thick and layered with three different meats—I moaned at the taste.
Miles’s eyes darkened. “Good, huh?” He licked some sauce off his lips and winked.
Lordy, the kid was sexy. But I needed some sustenance first. We inhaled the food, and then Miles pulled out the wine and clear plastic cups and poured us each a glass. Our pace slowed as we sipped in companionable silence, gazing out at the water, and one glass turned into two.
I was lounging on the blanket, feeling pleasantly tipsy, when Miles spoke.
“When did you first know you were gay?”
His question took me aback, coming out of the blue like that, but I answered readily. “Five years old. I wanted to marry Ricky Brown, the boy next door. He was an older man of seven.”
Miles laughed, then became thoughtful as he finished his wine.
“Why? When did you know?”
“That I was gay? Oh, I’m not gay.”
“Huh?”
“I’m pansexual. I’m also not a guy.”
“What?”
Miles gave me an uneasy glance and seemed to be bracing himself for my reaction. “I’m genderfluid.”
“Oh. Oh! I’m sorry! What are your preferred pronouns? I just assumed….”
His shoulders dropped as if he was relieved. “No problem. Either. I’m… I haven’t taken a stand about that yet. Since I was assigned male at birth, most people use ‘he.’”
“Mm-hm. That’s so interesting. I’m glad you told me.” Part of Miles’s fascination was his androgyny—the way he combined male and female personas so effortlessly.
“Yeah. I’ve been wanting to say something. I’m glad you’re okay with it.”
“Of course I am! Anyway, male, female, other—doesn’t matter to me.” I raised my glass to him. “You’re drop-dead beautiful.”
He laughed. “You’re such a flatterer.”
“Babe, I only speak the truth.” I waited a beat to see if he wanted to talk more about his revelation, but he seemed content to hang out in silence. The moon had gone behind clouds. It was so peaceful being there with Miles in the growing darkness, feeling close to him. I was glad he’d found me safe enough to confide in.
Peeking at me from under his eyelashes, Miles reached out slowly, took the cup out of my hand, and set it on the blanket. “C’mere.”
I needed no further encouragement. We’d just leaned toward each other when I felt something wet plop on my arm. I ignored it, thinking it must be sweat. Until another plop and another… and it dawned on me that Walter’s predicted rainstorm had arrived.
It must have dawned on Miles at the same time, because he suddenly sat up straight. Then the skies opened up into a downpour. “Shit! The car!” He scrambled to his knees and cast a
bout on the blanket in the darkness. “The keys! Where are the keys?”
Using my phone flashlight app, I shone it back and forth. “There!”
Miles grabbed the keys. “Be right back.”
He ran off while the remains of our evening picnic turned into a sodden mess. I gathered the trash and bottle and stuffed everything into Miles’s knapsack, then wrested the now-heavy blanket off the ground. There was no use in Miles coming back, not in this downpour. He met me halfway as I was trudging along the path.
Taking his pack, he said, “I hate Walter. Why is he always right?”
“How’s the car?”
“Not too bad. Walter keeps a towel in the trunk, because of course he does, so I was able to mop stuff up okay.”
As we reached the car, I feasted my eyes on Miles. Even with his curls plastered to his forehead and rain streaming down his face and body in rivulets, he was captivatingly beautiful. I didn’t even want to think about what the rain was doing to my hair, but I suspected I resembled a wet water rat. Oh well. The warm and humid air made the rain rather pleasant, actually. Until a flash of lightning startled us both.
“Damn! Hurry, Tony!”
After we scooted safely inside the car, we sat catching our breath as water pounded on the roof, making a drumbeat accompaniment. Thunder rumbled ominously in the distance. Miles was mopping the dashboard, which was still pretty wet, but his efforts seemed futile since we were dripping all over.
He muttered something I couldn’t quite hear over the cacophony of the beating raindrops. “What?”
“I just hope Walter doesn’t kill me for getting his precious car all wet.”
“What’s going on between you and Walter?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, but it bothered me that I couldn’t pin down what they were to each other.
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“You seem pretty involved, what with the car and you working with him and all.”
“Involved?” Miles’s eyes bugged out. “What? You mean… you think Walter and I are lovers?”
“You aren’t?”
Clearly they weren’t, if Miles’s belly laugh was anything to go by. “God, no! He’s my brother!”
“What?” My brain was having a hard time processing his words. “Did you just say ‘brother’?”
“Yeah. Walter’s my brother.”
I could only stare at him. What the actual fuck? I didn’t remember Walter having a sibling. He’d never mentioned one, anyway. But we were too busy boinking back then to talk much about our families. All I’d known was that he lived with his mother and his father wasn’t in the picture.
“Well, technically my half brother. We have the same father. My mom is Dad’s second wife.”
“No kidding. I guess that’s why I didn’t know Walter had a brother… er, a sibling.” Mind still reeling, I could barely hear Miles’s next words.
“Yeah. We both grew up in Boston but never lived in the same house. Or even the same neighborhood—and we didn’t have much to do with each other when I was little. I think he was kinda surprised when I showed up at his door in Key West.” He laughed. “But he let me stay. He’s cool like that.”
“Hmm,” I said in a vague assent. “Stay? Do you live with him?”
“Yep. We share an apartment not too far from the bar.”
“Huh.” So Miles lived with Walter, his half brother. And worked for him. And borrowed his car. Okay, then. At least I could stop angsting over the prospect of them being lovers. Miles’s slacking and getting away with things suddenly made more sense. Big brother Walter putting up with younger sibling Miles was totally believable.
I didn’t want to think about why the end of the “Miles and Walter must be lovers” theory made me happy. I suspected it had more to do with Walter than with Miles. And that suspicion was confirmed as I regarded Miles in the light of the half-brother revelation. Because he had shifted from impending hookup to…. Well, screw it. Now that I was seeing Miles as Walter’s little sibling, all my lust had vanished. Damn, damn, damn! I wanted to get laid! I wanted happy-go-lucky and consequence-free sex! Vacation sex! But it was dawning on me that Miles was not the answer to that. Not now.
Meanwhile Miles, having no idea of my internal revolution, shifted his arm to rub against mine and did that eyelash-batting thing as his lips curved in a sinful come-hither smile. “So where were we?” he asked, his voice all husky and sex-filled.
Ugh. I hated to let the kid down, but this whole thing was getting too incestuous for words. No way was I sleeping with the gorgeous but undeniable half sibling of Walter Elkins. No. Way.
I cleared my throat and tried for a lighthearted smile. “Uh, you know what? Why don’t we call it a night? I mean, I left car sex behind years ago, and I don’t think that back seat’s gonna fit us too well.” My tinkling laugh wasn’t very convincing. “And we’d probably give Walter a coronary if we went to your place.”
Miles frowned. “This isn’t because of me being genderfluid, is it?”
“Oh my God, no!” I said, horrified that he’d think that. “No, babe!”
His frown became a pout. “Then why? What’s wrong with my place? Walter’s usually out late at the bar. We could make it work. Or find somewhere. What about where you’re staying?”
“The condo? No room there,” I lied shamelessly. “Sophia and I are bunking together, and I don’t think she’d appreciate a threesome. Even though she swings both ways. But I don’t!” I smiled brightly, although my throat was aching with the effort to seem carefree. “And your brother tired me out with picking on me all day, so I need my beauty rest to face him again in the morning.”
“Yeah?” Miles scanned my face. “My brother, huh? Why don’t you tell me what’s really going on, Tony?”
I widened my eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Come on. You were all over us hooking up until you found out Walter’s my brother. You’re into him.”
“Dollface! That is so not true! We haven’t seen each other in years. I’d forgotten his very existence!”
“But you guys were more than friends, weren’t you?”
“Well….”
“I knew it!”
“Well, yes, we were involved in high school. But that ended, as I said, after the river thing.”
“Right.” Miles set his jaw and started the car. “I’ll take you back now.”
“I’m sorry, hon.” I placed my hand on his arm, but when he stiffened, I hastily removed it. “It’s not that I don’t find you completely sexy. I do.” I gazed at him uneasily as he drove a little too fast down the rainy street.
“So? You’re dumping me.”
“My goodness, ‘dump’ is such a serious word! We were having a little fun! Yes?” Not waiting for him to answer, I breezed on. “But now that I know the full story about you being Walter’s bro… sibling, and since Walter’s got my life in his hands over the next several days—you know, with the scuba diving and all—I just think it would be wise not to get him upset. It’s not that I’m into him, for God’s sake!” I forced out a light laugh. “But I don’t want him to be all big-brother protective and decide he’s going to let me sink to the bottom of the ocean because I slept with you!” I stopped, rather pleased with myself for having concocted a plausible explanation out of thin air.
“Walter wouldn’t do that. At least, I don’t think he’d let you sink or anything.” Miles looked a trifle too doubtful for my comfort. “But yeah, he hasn’t been too pleased that you and me are hanging out together.”
“He said that?”
“Naw, but I can tell. And he never cared who I hooked up with before. So I can only conclude that he’s still into you.” Miles cast a suspicious glance my way. “You sure you’re not into him too? Is that the real reason you won’t sleep with me?”
“Not at all. Your brother is a little too much on the serious side for my taste. I mean, can you see him and me together? Ludicrous!”
; Miles didn’t smile. Keeping his eyes on the road, he said, “That’s the funny thing. I can totally see it.” Then he clamped his mouth shut and made a show of concentrating on his driving.
Silence filled the space between us even as the thunder and rain clanged outside.
WALTER STACKED clean glasses behind the bar, his mind far away from his circumstances. The movie reel inside his head kept showing Miles and Anthony driving away in Walter’s car. Every time he took the scene further and imagined what they were doing at that moment, he felt a little sicker. He tried to be logical. Anthony wasn’t in Walter’s life any longer. He could do whatever he wanted. But for it to be Miles…. Then again, why was he assuming Anthony even knew Miles was Walter’s sibling? Walter hadn’t ever told Anthony about Miles, and Miles might not have mentioned their being related to Anthony. And on the other side of things, Walter had never told Miles that he and Anthony had been lovers. Seemed like Walter had been keeping a lot of things to himself….
“Hey, boss!” He jerked and looked up. Bootsie was standing over him, hands on hips. “Why don’t you go home? It’s late, and you’ve been staring at those glasses for the last five minutes. I’ll do the rest.”
“Oh. No… that’s… I can do it.” Walter grabbed a glass, but his grip was shaky and he nearly dropped it.
“Okay, that’s it.” Bootsie stooped and took the glass out of his hand. “You get on home, or sit at the bar and have one on me. No more working today.”
“You’re right. Okay.” He rose stiffly to his feet. A trip to the gym might be in order—cardio to work off the tension and then the sauna to relax his muscles.
Bootsie put a hand on his arm. “Is there anything you wanna talk about?”
“Talk about?”
“You don’t seem yourself lately.”
Walter opened his mouth to deny it, then paused. “I haven’t been. I apologize.”
“Oh, hey—no apologizing, boss. I just wanna know if there’s anything I can help with. Anything you need.”
From tough-gal Bootsie, this was almost more than Walter could take. His eyes prickled and he turned away. “Thank you, but no. I… I think I’ll go home.”
In Over Our Heads Page 6