“Okay. Don’t get wet.”
They glanced through the window at the heavy rain, and Walter hoped Miles had done what he’d told him to do for once and put the car top up. Knowing Miles, though, he hadn’t.
Walter donned a slicker, escaped through the back door, then paused. The urge to hit the gym had vanished, and all he wanted to do was hole up at home. Usually he’d go to the apartment he shared with Miles, which was close to Cap’n Otto’s. But Miles and Anthony might end up there. Walter knew he couldn’t deal with that, so he decided to pick up his other car and head to the houseboat. He walked briskly along the quiet streets, glancing up at the stormy sky. A hurricane was gathering force beyond the Bahamas. Although it was expected to dissipate before hitting Florida, Walter needed to keep an eye on it.
He got his Subaru out of the apartment lot and drove to the marina. It was time to kick back, have a drink, and complete his daily log. And try not to think about what was going on between Miles and Anthony.
After logging the weather, tides, and business results for the bar and shop, Walter sat under an awning on the houseboat deck, beer in hand, and watched the rain pelting the water. Despite his intentions, all Walter could think about was Anthony. Walter had destroyed the best thing he’d ever had when he’d walked away. Great how that had turned out. He gave a bitter laugh. He’d left Anthony to keep him safe. And now… here Anthony was, in Walter’s town, his life once again in Walter’s hands. With the added irony of Anthony getting involved with Miles. How did such serendipity even occur? What were the freaking odds?
Chapter SIX
I DIDN’T sleep well after Miles dropped me off at the condo. He’d pulled away from the curb too fast the moment my feet hit the pavement, his sad face and the screech of the tires rattling my nerves. I tossed around under the sheets, wrestling with my guilt over disappointing him, alternating with anger at myself for caring. A hookup is a hookup. No more, no less, and that’s the point. Shallow, meaningless, momentary pleasure to brighten one’s days and/or nights. But this whole Elkins mess was dragging me into murky waters, and I didn’t like it. Not one bit.
I finally sank into a too-short doze. When my bedroom door opened a few hours later with offers for jogging (Marco), cappuccino (Sophia), and talk (Jonathan), I turned down each one. They went about their morning as I moped under the covers.
The ironic part was I’d likely dumped the Botticelli Boy for nothing, at least where Walter was concerned. Walter’s glares and curt remarks from yesterday still stung. He’d seemed exasperated at my very existence. Why couldn’t I get him out of my damn head? Why did he pull on my heartstrings? I clenched my teeth. Screw him! If anything, he should be begging for my forgiveness, not being all surly. And who gave a flying fuck what he thought of me anyway? I didn’t need Walter Elkins’s approval or his anything else. And with that bracing thought, I pulled the covers over my head, hoping to get a bit more shut-eye before my next lesson.
Later that day I trailed my group into the South Wind Pools complex, my dread increasing with every dragging step of my flip-flops. Today we were going to have to sink underwater. Granted, it was in a pool where the deep end was less than eight feet, but still. Much as I wanted to believe I’d moved on from the river accident, I could still remember the choking sensation, the panic as I’d struggled to free my foot from the root and get my head back above water. Given how much I feared this impending ordeal, I couldn’t even imagine doing the same thing in the actual ocean. Add having to endure Walter’s scorn, and… why, oh why did I get myself into these things?
Jonathan, Marco, and Sophia were talking away, oblivious to my distress, as Marco pushed open the door. Walter stood in the pool lobby holding a clipboard. He made a dark, brooding figure in his close-fitting swim trunks and tank top.
“Morning.”
“Hello, Walter. How goes it?” Marco being Mr. Suave was unaccountably annoying today, especially when he clapped a suave hand on Walter’s shoulder.
“Fine.” Walter moved out from under Marco’s hand and studied his clipboard. “You ready for the pool?”
“Yes!” Sophia’s bright smile only made me more miserable. She’d taken to the scuba instruction like a mermaid to water and would no doubt shine at the whole thing, while I….
I glanced at Jonathan, my one salvation. A gardening and classical music nerd, Jonny was more physically timid than I was—or at least he used to be. “Used to be” being the operative phrase, I thought as my gaze fell on his now-muscular body. Who was I kidding? Over the last few years, Jonathan had completely transformed from his previously stout and nerdy self. His daily workouts with the studly Marco had increased his lean muscle mass and decreased his body fat to the point that he was like a Greek god compared to me. Being overweight had never been my problem—I was pretty much a spindly beanstalk. But achieving anything close to muscular had always eluded me. Oh, shut up! I told myself. I was getting bored to tears with my own bullshit.
In times of stress, I revert to chatterbox mode. Anything to avoid the crap in my head. “Hey, doll!” I chirped. “We’re ready when you are! Or when you say we are, right?” I winked, which mortified me when Walter’s face remained stoic. “Oh,” I burbled on, “and thanks for lending Miles the car last night. Dang, you were right about the rain. Are you always right? Anyway, we did get the top up. Finally.” Why the hell was I bringing up Miles and the damn car?
Walter’s face grew even stonier, if that was possible, and he turned away. “This way to the pool.”
Sophia and Jonny were peering at me rather closely. “Yes,” Sophia whispered, “how is Miles? He’s so cute! I was surprised you didn’t end up sleeping elsewhere last night.”
As we followed Walter’s retreating figure to the pool, I muttered, “Cute but a total no-go. I’ll explain later.”
“Oh, pooh.” Sophia pushed out her lip and stroked my arm.
We gathered around Walter, who had our equipment laid out for us—wetsuits, masks, respirators, flippers, and tanks, which I learned didn’t hold oxygen at all but “air.” Fuck if I knew the difference. I stared at it all with a sinking feeling. Get it? Sinking? Okay, I’ll stop.
“Okay.” Walter gestured to the gear. “Today we’ll have you suit up and get familiar with putting on your equipment and learning to use the breathing apparatus. Then we’ll have you take some trial runs in the pool. I’ll be standing right next to you, so don’t worry.” He gave me a very worried gaze. How was I supposed to not worry when he appeared ready to hurl at the prospect of me getting underwater?
“Yes!” Marco pumped a fist into the air, then flung an arm around Jonny’s shoulders. “Get ready for the fun part, tesoro!”
Jonny seemed almost as doubtful as I felt, thank God. But he smiled his sweet smile at his prince, the man who’d saved him from a life of Vallen Industries drudgery. “Okay, sweetheart. If you say so.”
“That’s my Jonathan. You’re going to love it, pesciolino mio.”
Yeah, they kissed. Oh, and pesciolino meant “little fish” in Italian. Top-notch fairy-tale love bugs, these guys were. Moving on.
I pulled myself out of my trance and followed the others to the deck chairs. Struggling to pull up the dastardly wetsuit was the first ordeal. But no way was I going to not manage that much. I didn’t need Walter helping me put on my second skin—I totally drew the line at that! After much flailing, I got the tops and bottoms on, and pulled the hood over my unruly hair. So much for having a viable hairstyle this vacation—way too much sun, sand, salt, and now this ghastly hood mashing my locks. The others looked funny in their suits, so I took consolation in that, although I could have done without Jonathan convulsing into laughter as I waddled over to him with my flippers on.
“What? What’s so funny?” I glared at him.
“Oh, nothing. You look… that’s just classic. I never thought I’d see you in a wetsuit in this lifetime, cuz.”
I expelled a breath rather forcibly through my nose. “Now wh
at?” I asked Walter, who stood with that almost-smile, no doubt cackling inside at my ridiculousness. If I sounded peevish, who could blame me?
“Now let’s get the masks on. Then I’ll help you all with the tank and regulator.”
“Fine.”
We put on our masks and stood around while Walter rigged each of us up with a tank. I held out my arms as he threaded the straps over my shoulders, cinching the harness at my waist. Trying to ignore the flare of feeling that having his hands on me ignited, I stared at his thick thatch of hair and smelled a familiar Walter smell. God.
“Oof!” I wasn’t prepared for the weight of the tank. Oh, shit. My panic rose. I was definitely going to sink like a stone with that thing on.
“You okay?” Walter pulled away and examined my face, what little of it he could see behind all the scuba crap.
“It’s heavy!” My voice squeaked, and I bit down on my lip to keep from blurting out anything more histrionic, like “Save me!”
“It’ll be okay. I’m going to show you how to work the regulator. And remember, it’s not so heavy in water.”
“Great,” I muttered, trying not to wring my hands as Walter moved on to Sophia.
“Now.” Walter clapped for our attention after we’d devolved into chatter, mine markedly more nervous than the others. “Take the regulator that’s connected to the air tank and should be resting on your chest. Good. Insert that into your mouth.”
I grasped the circular thing and shoved it into my mouth, promptly gagging and spitting it back out. Walter walked over. “Need some help?”
“What—with getting things into my mouth?” I coughed. “I need no help in that arena. But I probably didn’t need to deep throat it, right?” I gave him a winsome smile and stuck the thing back in, then grinned at him around it. Have I mentioned that I revert to humor in times of stark terror?
Sophia yanked hers out and laughed. “TMI, Anthony!”
Walter shook his head, but the side of his mouth curved. Yes! The almost-smile was back! That made me feel marginally better, even though who gave a damn what Walter thought, right? Right.
“Okay, everyone. Regulators in? Good. I’m going to turn on your air now. It’s a gentle flow, and all you have to do is breathe through your mouth as normally as you can. You will get enough air. I promise.” He went back around and fiddled with each of our tanks. “Now breathe through your regulators. Practice that mouth breathing for a while.”
It felt odd, and I kept wanting to breathe through my nose, but after a few minutes even I was getting the hang of it.
Marco and Jonny were doing the regulator breathing together, standing in their own little world with their foreheads touching. Walter walked around each of us, inspecting our technique, such as it was, and making small adjustments. I was sweating like a pig under my wetsuit, and that pool water was starting to seem more and more appealing.
“Okay!” Walter clapped his hands again. “You’re ready to get into the pool.”
I spit out my regulator. “You sure, doll? I might need a bit more time.” My heart was beating faster as the specter of sinking underwater rose up.
“I’m sure,” Walter said firmly, holding my gaze. “You’re ready, Anthony.”
God. When Walter talked to me that way, I melted. I almost believed him, too.
We waddled to the shallow end of the pool, which had graduated steps leading into the water, and eased our way in.
Walter stripped off his top and got into the pool with us. Oh my! My eyes almost popped out of my head at the sight of Walter’s broad chest with its furry patch of dark hair. Stop being so attractive, you horrible man, I thought fiercely at him. As if thoughts could save me.
“So for the first time, I’m going to have you walk until the water is shoulder height. Follow me.”
We ducklings followed Walter, our mother duck, about two-thirds the length of the pool, stopping when he did.
“Good. Now, you’re going to squat down until the water is over your head. Breathe through your regulator and see how it feels. If at any time you need a break, you can simply stand up. Any questions?”
I felt incapable of responding. I liked the way Walter said “any time you need a break” rather than “when you panic completely and are about to crap your wetsuit.”
Marco and Jonny squatted, facing each other, and bubbles started to rise from their regulators.
Sophia took hers out to say, “Ready to go, buddy?”
Walter had instructed us that dives were always done in pairs, and each buddy was responsible for monitoring the other.
I nodded at her, even though my inner wimp was screaming noooo. We took hands. She squeezed mine as we squatted. My muscles froze when the water closed over my head, and I stopped in panic. Then I felt a hand on my arm. Walter was under the water with us—he gestured first to my regulator and then to his own mouth. He seemed to be saying, “Breathe!”
I didn’t want to breathe under there and drown. But I let myself trust Walter, and I took a breath through my mouth. Air! I let it out. Bubbles! Next to me, Sophia was a beautiful mermaid, bubbles floating around her. Incredible! I laughed, which was totally the wrong thing to do. The next moment I was gagging. Tearing my hand out of Sophia’s, I stood and spit out the regulator, spluttering and coughing.
Walter was beside me in an instant, bracing me with a strong arm around my shoulders. Sophia surfaced also, but Walter told her to keep practicing.
After her head disappeared under the water again, Walter turned to me and frowned. “What happened?”
I coughed and gasped, even though I had plenty of oxygen. But the panic burned through my lungs, making me flail like a fish croaking out of water. “I don’t know.” I gulped in some more air. “It was okay for a moment. Then I laughed, and then I thought I was drowning. I had to stand up.” It was only when Walter stroked my arm with a soothing hand that I noticed I was shuddering.
“Okay. That’s okay. It’s a common thing for people to panic when they first try it out. That’s why we practice in the pool. Try not to laugh or do anything other than breathe steadily through your mouth.”
My arm burned under Walter’s touch. I jerked it away with a nervous giggle. “Try not to laugh? Doll, I’m afraid you’re asking the impossible!”
“I have faith in you.” Walter’s eyes were warm. It felt like high school again—me being a spaz and him grounding me with his steady presence.
“Well, you’re making a grave mistake.”
Sophia surfaced again. “Anthony! Come back. It’s so awesome! You’ll get used to it. Come on, I want you to practice with me!”
I sighed. Walter nodded encouragingly. This was a problem. I had to trust Walter on this. He literally had my life in his hands. But the last time I’d trusted him with my life, he’d fucked it up royally. I’m not talking about the river accident—he’d rescued me and gotten me to the hospital, for Lord’s sake. My tender seventeen-year-old heart, though? I shouldn’t have trusted him with that. And now I had to surrender to Walter’s expertise and judgment, and I was scared.
“Anthony.”
His voice pulled me out of my turmoil. “What?”
“You can do this.”
Walter being all calm and masterful was more than I wanted to resist right then. “Oh, okay.”
I put the damn mouthpiece back in, and Sophia took both my hands into hers. We squatted while she bobbed her head around like a beautiful happy sea creature, her bubbles flowing smoothly and constantly.
With huge trepidation I breathed in through my mouth. Then breathed out. In. Out. In. Out. Hey! I was getting this! As long as I stood stock-still and held Sophia’s hands in a death grip, I could breathe underwater! I so could do this. In a pool. Squatting so my head was right under the surface. Anything beyond that was unthinkable.
Marco and Jonny had already moved beyond the squatting stage, and after checking for Walter’s okay, they walked into the deep end and swam underwater hand in hand. Must
be nice. Sophia seemed to want to get in on the swimming action. She started to pull her hand away, but I grabbed it, shaking my head. Oops. Now the nice in-out rhythm I’d established was all messed up, and terror shot through me. Fear was not good for breathing. A choking sensation swept over me, and I let go of Sophia, sticking my head above the surface again and feeling like a total wimp-fail.
Walter was right there again, holding on to me as I spit out the regulator and took a few ragged gasps. “Easy. I’ve got you.”
Clinging to his arm, I finally calmed down enough to talk. “Doll, this is obviously not going to work. If I can’t keep it together in a pool, no way I’m going to be able to sink to the bottom of the ocean. Some fish’ll say ‘boo!’ and I’ll be a goner.”
“All right. It’s best not to do it if you don’t feel ready. I can have someone buddy up with Sophia for the ocean dive.”
Was that relief I saw on Walter’s face? Of course it was. He’d never wanted me to scuba dive in the first place. And, stubborn creature that I was, that made me want to do it despite my fear, just to show him.
By this time, Jonny, Marco, and Sophia had all surfaced and come over to where I was still clinging to Walter like a limpet, and my failure stared at me from their three concerned faces.
“How’s it going, Antonio? You’re doing great. Don’t give up!” Marco gave me an encouraging smile. We didn’t call him “Mr. Can-Do” for nothing.
Jonny came up next to me. “Hey, cuz. You were looking good down there.”
As if he and Marco had even seen me, given they’d been so in their own little world. No, Jonny was just being nice. My cousin is sweet. And a liar.
“He was doing wonderfully!” Sophia gestured with her hands for emphasis. “He was getting the breathing down great!”
“You’re all a bunch of liars. I panicked. Twice.”
Marco made a pooh-pooh gesture. “Many people get a bit freaked out at first. Isn’t that so, Walter?”
Walter cast an uneasy glance at me. “Sometimes.”
“And it clears up with practice.” Marco gave a decisive nod. “That’s all Anthony needs. More practice!”
In Over Our Heads Page 7