In Over Our Heads

by CJane Elliott

  “You sound like Miles.”

  “Oh?”

  “He told me that for a genius I sure am stupid. And he said almost the exact same thing about me protecting myself.”

  “He’s right about that.”

  “Anthony—I know this is probably me being stupid again, but are you sure? Are you sure you want to be with me when you could be with anyone you wanted?”

  I thought my eyes might fall out of my head, I was rolling them so hard. “Babe. I have been being with anyone I wanted. For years! Been there and have totally overdone that. I won’t lie—it was tons of fun. But you, Walter Elkins, are the only one I’ve ever wanted to settle down with. God knows why, given we’re as different as two people can be. But that’s just the way it is.”

  “Okay.” Walter sounded subdued.

  “What are you thinking?”

  “That I don’t deserve a guy like you.”

  “What?” I truly was shocked. Strong, steady, reliable Walter didn’t deserve a flibbertigibbet like me? Look at what he’d made of his life! And look at me, unable to commit to a hair color, let alone anything else.

  “Why does that surprise you?”

  “Well, I’m so… so random most of the time. And scattered. And, you know… hyper!”

  “Not really.”

  “Huh?”

  “You’ve been the steady one. For us, I mean. Even back then, when I was running away, you weren’t. And now, you’re the one taking a stand for there to be an ‘us’ while I’m being a coward. And you came through a hurricane to save me. I’m… I think you’re an unbelievably great and courageous person, Anthony.”

  I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. That was good, because Walter wasn’t through.

  “I’m not even going to try to be like you, the way you’re so comfortable with people and fun and energetic. Like you said, we’re completely different. But I’m going to try to be worthy of you. I want to be there for you, and you’re right. It’s time to stop being a weenie.”

  Speaking while one was ugly-crying proved difficult, but I managed to sob out a few words to let him know I was still there.

  Walter was perfect. He made soothing sounds. “I’m sorry I put you through so much, love. I’m going to help us make a plan. Tell me about what’s happening in your life right now. I know you have your job and the foundation and your family there in Boston. I want to know about it all so we can figure things out. Because I promise you, I’m going to make this work between us.”

  Chapter SIX

  I FLOATED into work the next day. Phone sex can do that to a boy, especially phone sex with the man I was madly in love with. It had been kind of hilarious talking Walter into it, but once he got going… oh my God.

  It wasn’t just the phone sex, of course. It was that I now believed everything was going to work out with me and Walter. He wanted it too. He was working on the plan, and when Walter set his mind to something, it happened. The plan revolved around me eventually moving to Key West, which was a big sacrifice—and Walter was all worried about it—but I truly didn’t care. I’d never had a Life 2.0 before, so it was time I took a leap into the unknown. He fretted about me having to leave my job, and I assured him that spending the rest of my life as an advertising art director wasn’t my burning ambition. And freeing myself from working full-time could make it possible for me to get serious about being an artist. Walter was all for that.

  We’d also batted around the idea of Walter moving here or us splitting our time between the two locations. That would have been ideal for me, because I wanted to be where my family and friends were and I loved working at the foundation, but Boston was so clearly still a painful subject that I didn’t push it. Not right then. Baby steps.

  Work went well that day. Maybe it was having the light at the end of the tunnel so I was no longer worried about my job security. I was going to leave it all behind and be with my man! My creativity was on fire, ideas raged, sketches flowed out of my fingertips, and I had my coworkers in stitches at the witticisms dropping from my rosy lips. On breaks, I consulted Travelocity for the best flights to Key West. Christmas was only a few weeks away, and I couldn’t wait to spend it with Walter.

  During the next week, Walter and I talked, Skyped, and texted, and the man insisted on sending me Key West-themed gifts every day. So cute! I now was the proud owner of Key West magnets and aprons—not sure what he was implying with that, since I’m a terrible cook—and fish posters and any number of silly things. I couldn’t answer him with Boston things, given his aversion to the place, but I sketched a bunch of portraits and scenes of my days and sent them along.

  The only thing marring my total bliss was Walter’s reluctance to come to Boston, even for a visit, whenever I broached the subject. It was all very well for him to have made a complete break when he left—I wasn’t knocking him for it. But I wasn’t such a black-and-white person as Walter. I was excited about relocating to Key West, but it broke my heart to think of leaving my family and the foundation behind. So I wasn’t planning to. Walter would just need to be okay with me spending a lot of time in Boston, even if he didn’t come with me, and I let him know that. He said he totally supported me continuing with the foundation and knew this would mean me being in Boston. As long as we were together, whatever I did was okay with him. And then I’d waver and think maybe I’d just move to Key West full-time and be done with it, because I loved him so much and wanted to be with him always. But then my little voice would whisper its doubts—if Walter loved me as much as he said he did, why was he still being a weenie about Boston?

  Sophia came to town for Christmas a few days before I was leaving for my visit, and we went for drinks to catch up. She had a few opinions of her own about the situation.

  “Caro, this is nonsense,” she said as we waited for our mudslides. “Why can’t Walter come here, at least some of the time? We can’t lose you at the foundation!”

  “You won’t lose me. I can always travel back for meetings, even if Walter stays in Florida. I won’t be at the ad agency, so I’ll have more time. It’ll all work out. Somehow.”

  She threw me a doubtful glance. “Patricia isn’t asking me to move to Key West, thank goodness. She knows my work with Lambda Legal is too important, especially now with that madman about to take office.”

  “Yes. Well, I can’t say I’m doing anything that important around here.”

  She slammed down her glass and almost broke it. “That’s not true! The foundation is so important—now more than ever! Did you know that several trans kids committed suicide right after the election?” Her eyes filled with tears, and so did mine. “We have to keep creating safe spaces for these kids. And art is critical—giving the kids the chance to express themselves with art, and you doing your own art. We have to have it, caro. We have to have you.”

  “Oh my God, cara, I love you so for saying all that.” I thought of Walter with the tots hanging off him in the Daily Grind. He had a huge heart. “I need to—I mean, I wish I could get Walter up here to see what we’re doing at the foundation. I just know he’d love it.”

  Our conversation moved on to other things. Later I returned from the bathroom to find Sophia on her phone. Her face shone with happiness, so I assumed it was Patricia. She was saying “Wow!” and “Awesome!” a lot. Then she caught sight of me, said a few more words, and hung up.

  “What was that all about?” I scraped up the last yummy spoonful of mudslide and popped it into my mouth.

  “Oh, nothing. Just… Patricia, you know. She’s doing great.”

  “Good. Well, I’d better get going. I’ve got a Skype date with Walter.”

  “Okay. Say hi to him for me. I’ll see you at the foundation board meeting tomorrow, yes?”

  “Yes. Ciao.”

  I WAS jogging into the foundation meeting room with a big smile on my face, making apologies for being late, when I shut up and came to a sudden halt.

  Walter stood at the head of the table with Mile
s at his side. He looked so good, solid and strong, although it was odd to see him in long pants and a sweater. They weren’t flattering, either, more like he’d borrowed them or gotten them at Goodwill, and I made a mental note to take him shopping. Miles wore black jeans and a tailored shirt that flattered him and fit like a glove—no surprise there. But why the hell was I thinking about clothing? Walter was here!

  “W-Walter? What on earth? You came to Boston? You hate Boston!”

  “Hello, Anthony.” He graced me with a full-on Walter smile that knocked the wind out of me. I couldn’t move.

  “Wait, who put you up to this?” I squinted at Jonny, Marco, and Sophia, who were beaming at me, and then at Miles, whose grin matched theirs.

  “Not us!” Jonny raised both hands and shook his head. “I swear!”

  Marco nodded. “We knew nothing about this until Walter and Miles showed up and offered to join the board. We’re pleased to have them, of course.”

  “Don’t blame me,” Miles said. “I’ve been planning to move back here and work at the foundation, but this guy was the one who flew us here.”

  “Flew…?”

  Walter cleared his throat. “I have a private pilot’s license. I may have forgotten to tell you that.”

  “And he just bought a little plane!” Sophia burst out. “So he can fly you guys back and forth! Oh. Was I not supposed to say? Patricia told me. There’s more, but I’ll let Walter tell you.”

  “What? Can I… what… back up! No, wait, screw that, I need to….” I dropped my messenger bag and propelled myself across the room and into Walter’s arms. He held me close, and I cried, and the room erupted in applause—and it was a perfect romcom scene, only this was real life. My real life!

  I finally pulled away enough to say, “What the hell is going on?”

  Everyone laughed, and Walter kissed my cheek. “I’ve turned over my businesses. Bootsie and Patricia are now my business partners. Bootsie will run the bar, and Patricia the dive shop.”

  “But… why? I mean, how…?”

  “I want to be where you want to be. I know Boston’s your home. If you need to live here full-time, I want to make that work.”

  “You mean, all this time we’ve been talking about me moving to Key West, you’ve been planning a way to move here?”

  “He’s a sneak!” Miles said, a huge smile illuminating his lovely face.

  Walter lifted one shoulder, the picture of nonchalance. “I didn’t want to say anything until I’d gotten everything organized.”

  “But what about—” Marco cleared his throat, and I glanced around. Oh, yes. We were having this conversation in the middle of the foundation board meeting. “Sorry, everyone. I had no idea this was going to happen. Um, Walter and I can step out, or—”

  “No need for that if you can wait on that conversation, Antonio,” Marco said. “Walter and Miles are interested in doing something with the foundation, so what better way for them to get a good picture than being with us at our board meeting?”

  Lord, I so did not want to be in a board meeting at that particular moment, when I was burning to be with Walter and discuss the future. I needed to tell him that I didn’t have to live in Boston full-time, that I was looking forward to spending time in Key West and pursuing my art, and that we could certainly “fly back and forth,” as Sophia had put it, in Walter’s lovely little airplane.

  More than that, I wanted desperately to tell him how much I loved him—for taking me and us seriously, for putting his Walter powers to work on finding a solution, for braving a return to Boston. I had to tell my Prince Charming how endlessly grateful I was for him rescuing me and giving me the happy ending I’d pretended I hadn’t wanted.

  Chapter SEVEN

  A FEW hours later, I was finally leading Walter down the hall to my apartment. We’d endured the board meeting, and then everyone just had to take us out for drinks to celebrate, and argh! Not that I didn’t appreciate them being happy for us and vying with each other to take credit for this miracle, but I was aching to get my man to myself. Taking pity on me, Sophia had ferried Miles away to hang with her and Chad—another board member, who’d seemed fascinated by Miles—and at long last, Walter and I were alone.

  On the way home, we chattered—well, I chattered—about Boston, and all the places I wanted to take him, and how happy I was, and how silly he was to think we’d have to live full-time in Boston and everything I wanted to do in Key West with him and when did I get to see the little airplane. Standard Anthony. When I’m nervous I chatter, when I’m happy I chatter—and I was a little bit of both. Walter strolled beside me, smiling and handsome and at ease, saying a few things whenever I let him get a word in edgewise. Oh, and I told him how much I loved him and how he was my Prince Charming, and when he told me I was his, I think my heart grew a zillion sizes and my eyes turned into valentines.

  Once we got inside the apartment, though, I was done with words. As soon as we shed our coats, I threw myself at him, kissing him with everything I had, and he caught me, swaying backward from the force of my embrace, meeting my passion with his own. We sank to the floor, Walter laid out flat with me sprawled on top, kissing hard and long. Every time the realization washed over me that Walter was here and we were actually together for real, I went deeper. I would’ve climbed inside him if I could have.

  But then something musty assailed my nostrils. Walter’s sweater. I reared back and started clawing at the hem. “Get this thing off! And burn it while you’re at it. Burnt orange is so not your color.”

  Walter sat up. “Yeah, I don’t really own winter clothes anymore.” He raised his arms obligingly, and I pulled the monstrosity off his glorious body.

  “Where’d you get this?” I asked as I tossed it aside.

  “Someone left it at the dive shop a few years ago and never came back for it.”

  “Oh my word!” I laughed. “In a hurry to get here, were you?”

  “You could say that.”

  I didn’t respond. One look at Walter’s chest, dark hair furring his pecs, and I was tearing off my own shirt. Scrambling to my feet, I held out a hand. “Come on, big boy,” I vamped. “I’ve got something for you in the bedroom.”

  “You do?” Walter allowed himself to be pulled up. “I’ve got a few things for you too. Or at least one big thing.” He cupped his package and waggled his eyebrows.

  I giggled, tickled at how much better he was getting with the sexy banter. “Mm, that’s just what I had in mind.”

  We were down the hall in a flash, and out of the rest of our clothes even faster. Walter tumbled me onto the bed and covered me with his warm, big body, being careful not to flatten me in the process. Ahhh. I could let go now. The whirling in my mind slowed, my muscles relaxed, and I let out a long sigh. Walter was here. He’d come to Boston for me, willing to overturn his life one more time. For me. All the doubt and nagging suspicion I hadn’t realized I was holding floated away as Walter caressed my face.

  “Thank you, Anthony,” he said in that solemn way of his.

  “You’re welcome. But for what in particular?”

  “For being my true north.”

  “Huh?”

  His brown-gold eyes softly regarded me like I was the most precious thing in his world. “Do you know anything about compasses?”

  “No, doll.” I pulled him nearer so I could kiss his cheekbone. “Tell me about compasses.”

  “Sailors navigate by figuring out ‘north.’ But there are two ways to calculate ‘north.’ One is magnetic, in which ‘north’ can vary depending on several factors.”

  I wiggled with delight. I’d always loved when Walter talked science to me, ever since high school chemistry when he’d made me horny with his serious pronouncements. “Yes?”

  “The other is true north, in which ‘north’ never deviates. They both have their merits.”

  A horrifying thought struck me. “I’m not going to have to learn to sail, am I? I mean, scuba diving is stressful enough.
”

  He gave me his glorious Walter smile, his teeth so beautifully white I could stare at them forever. “No. I’m trying to make a… kind of what you’d call a ‘poetic’ point.”

  Poetry? From Walter? “Oh, forgive me, dollface. Do go on!”

  His cheeks got pink, which was adorable, but he soldiered on. “I… um, you’ve been my true north. You’ve never deviated from your stand that we should be together.”

  “Well, seems to me I’ve done a lot of deviating the last twelve years—”

  “That’s not on you. That’s on me, for running away. What I’m trying to say is, you’ve always had the vision for us—that we were right together. I didn’t listen, but you were still there, being true north until I could true myself up to that.”

  “True yourself up?” I loved just lying there, stroking his thick hair off his forehead and listening to his deep thoughts.

  “To ‘true up’ means to align something, to line it up with… something. So I’ve trued myself up to you, my north star. You, who’ve never wavered.”

  I lay there, stunned. Here I’d thought I had a way with words, and Walter had just blown me away. Again. “You’re amazing, Walter. I’m… damn, the word is humbled. And grateful for destiny giving us another chance.” I kissed him, savoring his mouth. Then I pushed on his shoulders. “Turn over. Lie down so I can worship you.”

  “Um, sure.”

  We switched positions so he was lying on his back and I hovered over him. “I’m gonna love you like no one’s loved you, baby. Come rain or come shine.”

  “Good.”

  “I’m gonna love you till the cows come home.”

  “Cows?”

  “Mm.” I shut my mouth on the endless inanities and proceeded to use it for better purposes, trailing my lips over his forehead, along each eyebrow, and down his nose. “I never got to explore you like you explored me that night on the houseboat.”

  “Mm.”