The Scent of Rain

by Jones, Julianne

  “You know the rules. You can’t be involved. You’ve got to go back to the station.”

  Marcus shook his head. “Call in another officer but I’m not leaving until she has someone to stay with her.”

  His partner eyed him curiously. “What is your relationship to this woman?”

  “She’s my cousin’s wife.”

  “The husband?”

  Marcus nodded.

  “So you know where to find him?”

  Marcus shook his head. “No. But I can give you all the details you need.” He moved over to Madi’s side once again.

  “Madi, can I call someone for you? Your mother? Father?”

  Madi shook her head. “I called Mother but Daddy has the car. I don’t know where he is. Is it Friday? Friday he does chaplaincy work at the prison. We can’t contact him when he’s there.”

  “Which prison?” The last he’d heard of her father he had been involved in a nation-wide ministry and did a lot of travelling. Prison work had never featured in that – at least not on a regular basis.

  Madi gave the name of the local prison and Marcus tried not to show his surprise. He glanced up at his partner who gave him the nod. “I’ll get onto that when I call in another officer.”

  Marcus turned again to Madi. “We’ll get a message to him at the prison. But is there someone else I can call in the meantime? A friend perhaps?”

  “There’s no one.”

  He sat in silence, not sure what to say. On the table next to the sofa there was a framed picture of Madi and Jaena and he picked it up for a closer look. He was stunned to see how much Jaena looked like Madi. His sister’s children looked like their father and he had expected Jaena to resemble hers. Shaking his head he put the photo back down.

  “We’ll need a copy of that.” His partner had entered the room. “I’ve explained the situation and Sergeant said you can stay until family get here.”

  “I am family,” he replied tersely.

  “You know what I mean.”

  Suddenly Madi broke down and cried, great heaving sobs that made Marcus feel as if his heart would break just listening to her. He slid along the sofa and gathered Madi in his arms. She leaned her head against his shoulder and cried while he held her.

  An officer arrived to replace him and he saw the two of them moving around taking notes. He knew it was all necessary but he wanted to tell them to go away and leave Madi in peace. Coffee appeared at their sides but Madi refused to lift her head. He tried to drink his, but it was awkward with Madi still in his arms and anyway, it was the foulest cup of coffee he’d ever tasted in his life. Both cups remained on the floor growing cold until someone thought to take them away.

  The shadows lengthened and the room started to grow dark until someone flicked the lights on. Still he sat holding Madi. Apart from the gentle rise and fall as she breathed, she was completely still.

  He had no idea how much time had passed when he heard a car and sensed rather than saw others enter the room. Glancing up, he saw Madi’s parents. If they were surprised to see him, they didn’t show it. He moved aside as Madi’s mother came close to her daughter and she sat down in his place and put her arms around Madi. Suddenly his body felt cold. He stood and stretched his neck and back muscles and then slowly walked over to Madi’s father who held his hand out. Silently Marcus took it and shook it. Quietly he explained the situation. When he had finished, Madi looked up.

  “Daddy!” With one swift movement, Madi’s father had moved to her side and gathered her in his arms. Her mother rose from the couch to give her husband and daughter room and advanced towards Marcus.

  Gently she touched his arm and he felt tears well up behind his eyes. “We want to thank you for being here. We’re so thankful that Madi hasn’t been alone all this time.”

  “I’m thankful I was able to be here. I just wish we’d met under different circumstances.” It sounded lame, but it was the truth. As much as it had hurt him to see Madi hurting, it would’ve been even harder had he learnt later that she’d been alone during this time.

  The other officers approached and he conversed with them quietly for a few minutes. Approaching the family on the couch, he addressed Madi.

  “I have to go back to the station now, but your parents are here with you. I’ll make sure everything is done to find Jaena.”

  Madi lifted her tear-stained face. “Can’t you stay?”

  Regretfully he shook his head. “Letting me stay this long was a concession. I can’t ask for more than that. But I’ll keep in touch, okay?”

  He nodded goodbye to her parents and then left the room without a backward glance. It was one of the hardest things that he had ever done.

  *********

  Every day he prayed and waited for the news he knew they were all longing for. His colleagues watched him to see how he was handling it, keeping their distance, not sharing information that came to light. He knew that as the newest member of the team that he had to prove himself but he suddenly wished he was back in his old station where they would’ve quietly given him their support and friendship. Still, had he been down south he wouldn’t have been there for Madi when she needed him, and he wouldn’t trade that for anything.

  He tried to concentrate on another case but his thoughts kept returning to Madi. He wanted to ring, but what could he say? “We’re doing our best” hardly seemed enough. It was true but this time he wanted them to do more than their best. He wanted Jaena found alive and well. Each hour that passed the pain in his stomach grew until he couldn’t eat, couldn’t drink, and couldn’t sleep.

  He was about to go off duty on the third day when someone came up and clapped him on the back. “We got him!”

  For a moment he wasn’t sure who “him” was. His brain was addled from lack of sleep, lack of food, lack of caffeine, and from constant worry. His face must have shown his confusion. His colleague explained. “The husband. Caught him trying to board the inter-island ferry. Kid with him. She’s on her way back to her mother as we speak.”

  He breathed a prayer of thanks under his breath and then turned and smiled at his colleague. The first smile all week.

  “Thank you.”

  *********

  After that he resolved to be available to Madi whenever she needed him. As a friend, he told himself, but he knew that he couldn’t banish the memory of the hours that he’d held her in his arms. He had loved Madi before, but nothing like the way he loved her now.

  After Madi eventually agreed to divorce Damien, Marcus entertained the idea of Madi marrying him. But after a time he gave that idea up. Madi might have divorce papers from her husband but in her heart she was still married to him and most likely always would be.

  Marcus had pleaded with God to take away his love for Madi but it had remained unchanged. Now he reconciled himself to loving her from a distance. For the rest of his life – because he knew now that there would never be anyone else as far as he was concerned.

  Chapter Seven

  “Uncle Marcus will you help me buy a present for Mum?”

  Marcus thrilled to the sound of the childish voice on the other end of the phone.

  “I’m sure it could be arranged. Have you anything in mind?”

  “I know she’d like some of that perfume stuff but I don’t know if I have enough money.”

  “How much do you have?”

  “Four dollars and ninety five cents.”

  “I’m sure we can find something nice for that,” and I’ll add to it if I have to, he thought to himself.

  And so began one of many shopping excursions that he had with Jaena. He would’ve loved to have bought Madi perfume, but knew better. Instead he gave her gift vouchers to her favourite stores and dropped hints in the ears of other relatives. He longed to do more to help Madi out, but knew enough to be careful. She had her pride – and her reputation – and he mustn’t destroy either.

  He found other ways of helping. Cutting up her firewood. Painting her house. Taking
her car for its warrant and paying for the mechanic’s bill which he never told her about. Leaving money anonymously in her letterbox. Taking her cartons of surplus fruit from his fruit trees or those of his parents’. Filling her freezer with meat after he’d been out hunting. Convincing Damien’s parents to enrol Jaena in music lessons and then paying for them himself. Helping Madi pull up her carpet and sand and seal the floorboards. Coaching Jaena’s hockey team and never sending home the letter regarding fees, but again, paying them out of his own pocket.

  Only once did he almost mess it up.

  “I can’t accept this.” Madi had opened a gift voucher he’d given her to a health spa and was looking at it in dismay.

  His sister saved him from replying. “Of course you can. It’s all planned. Marcus has a conference in our area in the New Year. He’s decided to stay over so that he and Wes,” and here she looked at her husband, “can look after the kids. We’ll go together and it will be fun.”

  “But it’s four hours away. And accommodation –”

  “You’ll stay with us of course. We have plenty of room. I offered Marcus a room but he prefers to stay in the motel – closer to the conference that way. But you and Jaena will stay with us. And Marc will drive you up, of course.”

  Madi refused to look at Marcus. “I can’t travel up with Marcus. Alone in the car for four hours – it wouldn’t be right.”

  “Oh, you won’t be alone. Sidney is staying here with her grandparents for a few days. Marcus has already said he’ll bring her up when he comes. So, it will be the four of you. And you’ll be coming to our place. It’s not like we’re strangers. We are family after all.” She reached out and put a hand on Madi’s arm. “It will be so much fun. Please say ‘yes’.”

  In the end she had agreed, but only on the condition that she would bus up and back. Reluctantly Marcus gave in and resolved to somehow find a way to reimburse her for the bus fares without her knowing. But he had learnt his lesson. Never again would he give Madi so personal a gift.

  Afterwards he wondered if his sister suspected the depth of his feelings for Madi. She had always been very perceptive … but she never said anything and he never asked.

  *********

  The sight of Jaena sitting on the back steps crying brought back that day when her father had kidnapped her and he had held Madi in his arms crying, just as her daughter now was crying.

  “What’s up?” He sat down beside her and offered her the chocolate bar he’d brought for her.

  Jaena stopped crying and took the bar, which made Marcus smile. Whatever her problem, it wasn’t too serious.

  “I want to go to the father-daughter night at school but I’ve got no one to go with me.”

  “Ah.”

  “Mummy said I could ask Grandpa but he’s old. No one else has an old father. I want someone like the other fathers. I asked Mummy if I could take you and she said ‘no’ and that I wasn’t to ask you.”

  Marcus laughed and Jaena looked at him in surprise. He offered her his hand and she took it. “Let’s go talk to your mother.”

  “But she said –” and she stopped and covered her mouth as she realised what she had done.

  “Bit late to be worrying about that now, isn’t it? But don’t worry, I’ll talk to your mother.”

  Once inside she ran off to her room and Marcus faced Madi in the kitchen. It was strange, but many of their conversations took place in the kitchen. It was a vastly different room to what it had been the day he’d first entered her house. A round pine table with chairs took up most of the space in the centre of the room and Madi had made cushions for the chairs to match the tablecloth and curtains. Terracotta pots filled with herbs decorated the windowsill and a hand painted clock graced the wall. It was a friendly room and one in which Marcus never tired of spending time.

  “Will you stay for dinner?”

  Marcus shook his head and then stopped. “Have you enough?”

  “I’ll make enough.”

  He loved that about her. Always willing to share what little she had.

  “I’ve just fed Jaena up on chocolate so she might not be hungry.”

  Madi shook her head indulgently. “She’s always hungry. But I wish you wouldn’t give her so much chocolate. You’ll spoil her.”

  “Jaena? I doubt anyone could spoil her. She’s too sweet-tempered to be spoilt.”

  “Perhaps. Although she’s pretty upset with me at the moment.”

  “Ah yes. The father-daughter night.”

  “She told you?”

  Marcus only smiled and Madi turned when he didn’t reply. She sighed. “So what did she say?”

  “That she didn’t want to ask her Grandpa because he’s old,” he emphasised ‘old’, “and that she wanted to ask me but you told her not to.”

  “That girl is hopeless at keeping a secret.” Madi returned to chopping carrots.

  Marcus glanced down at his hands. “I’d be glad to take Jaena.”

  “I can’t let you.”

  The words were short and clipped. He didn’t know how to answer. The silence lengthened as Marcus groped about for something to say. “Is it something I’ve done?”

  Madi put down the knife, but didn’t look at him. “No.”

  Instinctively Marcus knew to remain quiet.

  Madi picked up the knife and begun cutting again with a ferocity that surprised him. “It’s just that people talk.”

  “People always talk.”

  “I know.” Madi dumped the carrots into a saucepan and turned the stove on.

  “Has someone said something?”

  Madi didn’t answer and he knew he’d hit on the truth.

  “Does it matter as long as we know that we’re not doing anything wrong? We’re not answerable to what other people think.”

  “Perhaps not, but the Bible does say that we’re not to cause a weaker brother or sister to stumble.”

  “True. But are we talking about a weaker brother in Christ or some nosy busybody?”

  Madi sighed and turned to face him. “The latter I guess, although is that just splitting hairs? There should be no appearance of wrong-doing as well as no wrong-doing.”

  “But how could there be any appearance of wrong-doing? Jaena wants someone to take her to the father-daughter night. She wants someone young like the other fathers and that’s understandable. She already feels different as it is. Your brothers all live out of town. I’m here and I’m glad to do it. People shouldn’t read more into it than that.”

  “But they will. People will think that there’s more to it. They’ll think we’re involved,” and she blushed.

  He tried not to let her see how her words affected him. In his heart he knew that what she said was true. People would talk and they would assume that they were involved and he knew he should care for Madi’s sake. He should protect her reputation. That was why he was always so careful to not stay late when he visited, even though he doubted the neighbours gave it a second thought. Yes, he cared about Madi’s reputation, but he cared for Jaena, too, and he wanted to see her happy. And if he was honest, he wanted to do it for himself. His love for Madi prevented him from marrying and having a family of his own. Jaena was the closest he would ever come to having his own daughter.

  He tried one more time. “I’m your cousin – or I’m Damien’s cousin. We’re family. Where’s the harm in it?”

  Reluctantly, Madi agreed. After that initial time, she became reconciled to the idea and such occurrences gradually became more regular. Eventually she consented to attend his work functions with him, and when she returned to work, he returned the favour. As time went on they became far more comfortable with the roles they had carved out and didn’t care what others said. They knew they were doing no wrong and if people talked, well let them.

  *********

  It was to be a routine call: visit someone claiming to have witnessed a break-in. Not too complicated. It shouldn’t take long. He’d easily make it back in time for Jaena’s h
ockey game.

  Simple. Except something had gone wrong. Even now, years later, he couldn’t fathom what had gone wrong. The man had a grudge against police. It had all been a ruse to get them out to his property.

  He hadn’t seen it coming. Neither of them had. But it had happened.

  As he lay on the ground, writhing in pain and watching his partner’s life slowly ebb away before his eyes, he knew it had happened. It shouldn’t have but it had. Somehow he had managed to reach the radio and call for help before collapsing to the ground. His hand stemmed the blood from his wound, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to hang onto consciousness for too much longer.

  In a daze he heard back up arrive … heard more gunshots … then there were sirens … someone was beside him … he felt his trouser leg ripped open … cold air … he shivered and someone covered his upper body with a blanket … then he was being lifted into an ambulance … and then nothing.

  Marcus remembered little of those days after being shot. Nurses, doctors, family and friends came and went. He dreamt dreams that were confusing due to the drugs they had him on, but in them there was one person – one face – he was always trying to reach. Madi. When she did come she was silent, but just to look at her was healing.

  *********

  Marcus had been dozing when he woke to find Madi standing over his chair.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ve brought you something to eat. And some of your favourite biscuits.” She held up a bag. “At least, Jaena says they’re your favourite. She made them.”

  He mumbled something and he saw Madi frown.

  “Marcus, are you all right?”

  She moved closer and he closed his eyes. It was such an effort to keep them open. He felt her hand on his forehead – cool and healing.

  “You’re burning up!”

  He tried to open his eyes, but it took more energy that he had so he gave up.

  “I’m going to look at your leg.”

  “No,” he tried to say, but he felt her lifting the blanket that covered his legs anyway. He didn’t want her to see his leg. It was swollen and red and still bore the marks from the operation. He didn’t want her to see him like this. Weak, in pain, helpless … not whole.