Cabin Love

by Hayden Hunt

  Chris walked back into the room and then, out of nowhere, I heard a loud and panicked, “Oh, shit!”

  “Chris? Is everything okay?” I asked, standing up and starting to walk to his room. But, I didn’t even need to walk all the way there, because he quickly ran back out to me.

  “Oh my god, I can’t find it!” he said, looking terrified. “Fuck, I think I might have left my groceries in my car!”

  My eyes bulged. “You’re kidding.”

  “I wish I was.”

  Well, this fun and playful weekend vacation had just taken a dark turn. Maybe instead of having fun with a cute guy, we’d actually both be starving to death in a very cold cabin.

  Okay, maybe not starving to death. I’m sure we’d be able to get out of here in a day or two, but… definitely very uncomfortably hungry.

  “What are we going to do?!” Chris asked me, worriedly.

  “Let’s… let’s just not panic quite yet. Uh, just, uhm, give me a second to think.”

  There has to be some kind of help for these kinds of situations, right? I mean, people don’t just starve at home, alone in their snowed-in houses during blizzards, right?

  Or, shit, do they?! I have no idea! It doesn’t snow where I live. This isn’t a problem I’ve ever had to deal with before.

  But, that was the thing, just an hour from here it wouldn’t have been snowing. Maybe there would have been some kind of rainstorm, but no snow. Snow was only up in the mountains.

  It wasn’t like in some Midwestern states where, when it snows, it snows all over the whole damn state. In that case, they have no resources to really do anything or help anyone who might be stranded. Because, how will they get there? They’re all equally stuck.

  But, here, it was different. Here, all the cities around us were not dealing with this amount of snow, and they’d undoubtedly be able to help us.

  I was a little disappointed thinking that we’d have to be rescued due to lack of food, though. Or, if not rescued, uncomfortably hungry for the rest of the weekend. I would much prefer to just spend time with Chris, being comfortable and flirty.

  “Okay, hold on, let me just text my friend and ask him a few questions,” I told Chris.

  “Right, perfect, great idea!” he said, as he sat back down on the couch.

  He said it was a great idea, but I could tell by his body language that he was doing everything in his power to not start panicking once again. And I couldn’t blame him; I was stressed, too.

  “So, hey, a bit of a problem. At the cabin and we’re completely snowed in. Help?” I texted Jake.

  “Wait, at the cabin? You’re still there? I thought you left last night?” he texted back.

  Oh, right, he wouldn’t even know about all this. I’d never told him I was going to stay for one night and then come back to town. Maybe I should have, though. I mean, obviously Chris has no problem with it, but it’s Jake’s cabin. He should be informed of who’s staying in it at any given time.

  “Oh, yeah, your guest suggested I stay one night so I wouldn’t have to drive back in the dark. I was supposed to leave this morning, but we’re snowed in, the whole door is covered.”

  “Shit, is he pissed?” Jake asked.

  I felt like he was completely missing the point. Chris and I were both panicking, thinking we were going to die of starvation, and Jake was focused on customer service.

  But, on the other hand, I understood his concern. Renting out this cabin was really good money for him and his wife, and at very little cost to them. And all it took to ruin that business was one bad review.

  Especially a bad review that suggested the owner of the cabin couldn’t even keep control of booking and had scheduled two guests at the same time. That would really ruin Jake’s credibility. Most people who come to this cabin live hours away, so the thought of driving all the way here just to turn back because someone was already enjoying a vacation there would be very off-putting.

  I had a feeling Jake had no reason to worry, though. In fact, I was positive of it. The way Chris was acting toward me… no, I was definitely sure that I was not bothering him in any way. And I wanted to make sure Jake knew that.

  “By me being here? Not at all. Seriously, trust me, we’ve kind of been flirting back and forth. He’s happy I’m here, I know that,” I sent him.

  Normally, I wouldn’t bother texting Jake about me flirting with some guy. Not that I don’t talk to my friends about my love life, I absolutely do, but I don’t give such mundane details. Especially over text message. It might be something I mentioned in person, but probably not even then.

  It was the only way I could think of to assure Jake that there were no hard feelings, though. I knew Jake, and I knew that if I said anything else, he’d be worried that Chris was only being polite, and that he could expect a negative review at any moment.

  “Ohh… I see, got a new crush then huh?” He added a little winkie face to the text.

  “Hey, hello, you’re missing the point that we’re kind of snowed in!”

  “So? Isn’t that good if you like this dude? You’ll be able to leave in a few days, so there’s nothing to really worry about.”

  I see. He was completely missing the point that we had no food.

  “Really? A few days, huh? How long does it take someone to starve to death?” I texted back snarkily.

  “Oh, why didn’t you say you had no food? All the way down the hall, past the two rooms, we turned the hall closet on the right into a pantry. I always have groceries delivered before a guest comes. Cooking basics are in the fridge, too. You should be fine.”

  Relief washed over me. Ah, bless Jake and his excellent customer service skills.

  “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I texted back.

  “Not a problem. Enjoy your weekend.” Again, he tacked on a winkie face.

  “Will do,” I sent back.

  And I really was going to, now that I knew there was food and absolutely no reason to panic.

  “What’d he say?” Chris asked nervously.

  I decided to be a little theatrical with this. So, I went back into the hall, and Chris eyed me impatiently the entire time. I grabbed a few bags of chips from the pantry and then ran back into the living room.

  “I come bearing provisions!” I yelled, as I tossed him a bag of chips.

  “Oh my god!” he squealed. “Where did you get these?!”

  “Chris keeps a full pantry, apparently. We have more than enough food for the next few days. I mean, a lot of it is junk, but bon appétit?”

  Chris threw the chips down on the couch and then tossed his arms around my neck.

  “My hero!” he yelled, being as theatrical as me.

  He clearly meant to be over-the-top goofy, but I couldn’t help but feel like he was just using it as an excuse to touch me.

  And, despite the goofiness of it all, I felt something with that touch, too. A chill ran down my spine as he wrapped his arms around me.

  I hadn’t been touched like that in a long time. Even dating Tim, he had never just held me. Hell, he had barely even kissed me, and, even then it had only been during sex. Our affection had dwindled into pretty much nothing outside of sexual contact.

  And this felt… so nice, so comforting. I had missed this so much.

  Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around him, too. He tensed up at first, as if caught off-guard by me doing that, but his body quickly relaxed as he gave into the embrace.

  We lingered like that for a minute before Chris slid away from me slowly. And, it was clear by the look on his face that simple hug had meant something to him, too.

  “So, wow…” he whispered as he looked straight into my eyes.

  I had nothing else to add. That summed up my feelings pretty well, too.

  “Yeah, wow.”

  We kept staring at each other for a moment. Then, slowly, Chris moved in for a kiss. My heart was pounding as I anticipated his lips touching mine. But, I was ready for it. I wanted it, I had missed
having real kisses so freaking badly…

  And then, at the last moment, I pulled away.

  Chris’ jaw dropped. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I just thought, I—” he stuttered.

  “No, no, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let it get that far,” I told him shortly.

  I hadn’t thought I’d pull away. I had really thought I was about to give into this, but I guess my instinct to avoid being hurt was a lot stronger than I had thought.

  “I’m sorry, I just thought we were having kind of a moment there…” Chris said, obviously confused.

  “We were. I mean, you’re not wrong, it just… I’m sorry. I just can’t.”

  We both stood there in awkward silence. Chris was obviously waiting for more of an answer than that, but I had none to give him. Or, rather, none I wanted to give him.

  “You know, I’m uh, I’m just going to go…. take a bath I think.”

  “Take a… bath?”

  “Yeah, you know, I usually shower in the mornings, and… I’ll just see you in a bit, okay?”

  “Uh… sure, okay,” he said hesitantly as I walked into the bathroom.

  Smooth, James, real fucking smooth…

  6

  Chris

  I was left sitting around, wondering what the hell had just happened.

  One second, we’d been having this incredibly intimate moment and then, out of nowhere, he had put the brakes on everything? And wanted to go take a bath?

  I didn’t understand, had I misread the entire situation? I had thought we had been getting along so well. He had honestly seemed just as happy to be snowed in with me as I had been with him. I had just thought…

  Now, I didn’t know. Did I imagine it all? Maybe I had wanted to think he liked me. I definitely had.

  But, no, I had honestly felt like there was something here. There was something between us, this couldn’t just be all in my head.

  I am somebody who is acutely paranoid about being rejected. Like, it’s ridiculous, I’ll do anything I can to avoid it. I don’t go after guys who aren’t going to be interested in me, I just don’t. And I have a very good gauge on that.

  So I didn’t think I was wrong, I didn’t think this was something that was all in my head.

  But, what had happened then? I mean, maybe he was not the kind of guy who did hook-ups. I could understand that, plenty of people weren’t interested in having sex with someone who they weren’t dating.

  This wasn’t sex, though, it was just a kiss. A kiss should have theoretically been no problem.

  He had just broken up with that guy, though. That had to be it. I know he had said he was over it already, but nobody could get over a break up that fast.

  Yep, that made total sense. He started having feelings for another guy, and, all of a sudden, when I had gone to kiss him, his ex had come to his mind. And, could I really fault him for that?

  No, of course not, that was perfectly human. And this boy didn’t owe me a damn thing. Not a kiss, not affection, nothing. He was healing from a break-up, and he had to do what’s right for him.

  I am not the kind of person to give someone shit for that. I feel very strongly about emotionally healing and doing everything you can to achieve that.

  But, unfortunately, now that he didn’t want to do anything romantic with me, this weekend was going to be incredibly awkward.

  He didn't even have the option to leave now. And he may want to, since I seriously just tried to kiss him.

  Oh, god, I feel awful about that! What had I been thinking?! I mean, obviously the positive signs had been there. I couldn’t deny that it had really seemed like he had been interested in me. But clearly I shouldn’t have assumed anything. And, ugh, now he was going to feel positively awkward around me. Well, this was definitely a bit of a bummer.

  But, oh well, I’d get through the weekend. It did make me more anxious about being snowed in once again. But, I’d cope. I just needed to make sure I made that it very clear to James that I wouldn’t give him any more trouble. That I absolutely was not the kind of guy to go after him after he had made it very clear he was not interested.

  I stared out the window, which was completely white with caked-on snow, as I continued to crack chips between my tongue and the roof of my mouth. I was craving real food, but, in the meantime, this was going to have to do.

  I was a bit of a stress eater. When things went wrong, I ate. If I was having a particularly bad day at work, I stopped by my favorite restaurant on the way home and ordered all the dishes that I loved.

  And while these chips weren’t exactly extremely satisfying, it did help to munch on something. No doubt, I’ll have downed this entire bag of chips within the hour. But, I was doing my best to eat them slowly. I hadn’t been in the pantry; I didn’t know how many snacks were available. I didn’t want to go digging into more food before James even had time to get out of the bath.

  Ugh, the though of James in the bath was doing things to me that I didn’t like at all. James, naked with his skin softly reddened from the hot water. It made me think about what it would be like to have his warm, hot, sweaty body on top of me…

  Okay, no, I needed to stop. This wasn’t going to happen! And I didn’t want to keep thinking about the guy. I didn’t want to keep pressuring him into something with me. I just wanted to keep things as comfortable as I could for the both of us.

  Admittedly, the most comfortable thing for me right now would be to have my body wrapped in his, but whatever. Wasn’t going to happen. Time to think about other things.

  I started eyeing things around the room, trying to shift my focus. You know, it was a really cute cabin. It had those very classic winter-print sofas you see in winter magazines.

  And it was decorated as if it was someone’s home. The owner had pictures of his friends and family all over the place. Which might be annoying to some people, but I found it comforting and homey.

  I was looking at the pictures above the fireplace and on the table next to me when something caught my eye.

  It was a picture of who I assumed was the owner of the cabin on his wedding day. He had his arms wrapped around his wife, and bridesmaids and groomsmen surrounded them.

  It wasn’t a particularly interesting photo. I mean, the husband and wife were attractive, but it was the kind of pose everyone takes at their wedding with their wedding party.

  But, what caught my eye was one of the groomsmen. He looked younger, but I could swear that standing right next to the groom was James.

  And how stunning he looked in that suit! Even with five men standing next to him, he outshined everyone, including the groom. His olive skin with his dark black hair and chiseled face were breathtaking.

  God, was this really happening right now? I had looked around the room to see if I could find something to distract myself from James and what had I found? More James?!

  I absolutely hated how I was feeling right now. This really wasn’t me. I wasn’t the kind of guy who got this caught up in people.

  I don’t know, I don’t feel particularly driven by my emotions. I’m more the kind of guy who likes to follow my logic. Even in my romantic relationships, I make my decisions based off of what makes sense.

  But nothing was logical in this situation with James. It simply made no sense why I was so interested in him given that I had known him for such a short amount of time! I felt like I was being absolutely insane here. I had never felt this way about anyone.

  I’d let it go, though. I had to. In order to make him comfortable, I just had to.

  And I’d do absolutely anything to make sure he was comfortable.

  7

  James

  I sat in the bath, full of both confusion and regret.

  I was actually a little upset that we were snowed in now. It would have been ideal if I could have just, you know, walked away from this whole mess. Instead of excusing myself to a bath, I could have excused myself to leave and been done with this.

  But, no, I was stuck
here. I was going to have to stay here for at least another day, probably a few more days, which meant I couldn’t avoid talking about this.

  Already, the water in the bath was starting to cool off. I should have run it even hotter than I initially had. I turned the tap so that more hot water ran through and sighed as the warmth ran over me.

  Okay, so, the only thing to do is to be honest with Chris, right? Tell him that I hadn’t wanted to do anything with him because I didn’t want to end up getting myself hurt again.

  But, fuck, that was going to be so awkward! To tell a complete and total stranger something so personal… ugh.

  But the one good thing was that he didn’t feel like too much of a stranger. Like, I know he definitely is one, but I’m much more comfortable with him than I normally would be with someone I didn’t know.

  Hanging out with him was like hanging out with someone I’d known for years. Hugging him was like hugging someone about whom I cared deeply.

  I’m sure once I came out and said it, I’d actually feel better. It probably sounded more awkward in my head than it would out loud. I thought Chris would actually be really nice about it. He hadn’t struck me as a judgmental guy at all.

  Okay, yep, I was just going to go out and tell him. Nip this shit in the bud, then we could hang out and hopefully have a totally normal, friendly weekend together.

  I really had to will myself out of that bath, though. It was fucking freezing in this place, and the warm water felt so nice.

  I decided to turn the water all the way on hot for one last time, getting the bath so steamy that I actually felt overheated. This was a little trick I’d learned over the years for when I didn’t want to force myself to get out of the shower. I made myself feel too hot so that the cool air felt like a relief.

  At home, it worked really well, because the coldest it ever got where I live is between 50 and 60 degrees. But, here, where it was literally frozen outside, it didn’t work as well. As soon as I stood up out of the bath, I was immediately freezing. The cold air was a relief for a split second.