Twins for Christmas

by Amanda Renee

  “Mommy!” Cheyenne wailed louder.

  He bounced the girls on his knees in an attempt to soothe them in his best Santa voice, but they continued to call out for Lauren. “No picture is worth this.” Hannah took Cheyenne in her arms and wiped her tears. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”

  “Mommy!” she sobbed.

  Mr. Hanson stood and handed Charlotte to Noah. “Hannah, I am so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault.” She gave the man a one-armed hug. “Thank you for trying, and thank you for everything you donated to my house. I am forever grateful. Merry Christmas.”

  They rode back to the ranch in silence. By the time they arrived, the girls were sound asleep. After putting them down for a nap, Hannah slogged to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. She heard Noah come up behind her, but she didn’t have the energy to argue with him any more tonight. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder, drawing her close to him.

  “I will call my attorney on Monday and ask him not to change the girls’ last name.”

  Hannah sagged against his chest, choking back a sob. “Thank you.” Her voice broke.

  “When the girls are old enough, we’ll let them make the decision.”

  “We?”

  Noah turned her to face him. “Yes, Hannah. We. I can’t do this alone. I need you by my side.”

  Chapter Nine

  Noah was determined to salvage what was left of the day. While the children napped, he ventured out to the grocery store. An hour and five bags later, he returned.

  “What on earth is all of that?” Hannah peeked inside the sacks.

  “You told me I had gingerbread house detail, and I’m reporting for duty.” He mock saluted Hannah before giving her a kiss on the cheek. She playfully swatted him out of the way with a kitchen towel. “All of that is for a gingerbread house?”

  “Well, I didn’t exactly know which recipe to use.” Noah rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t even know if the kids were supposed to eat the thing when it was finished or not. “And I wasn’t sure which one you would approve of, so I bookmarked a few of them on my phone and bought enough to make all of them just in case something went wrong. I can cook when I choose to, but I can’t bake to save my life. Mind if I start on these now?”

  “Go right ahead.” She smiled. “I’d like the company while I start dinner.”

  After two burned trays of gingerbread, he finally relented and allowed Hannah to help him. Noah stared down at the table when a successful batch came out of the oven.

  “I had grand ambitions when I started this project. Now we’re down to four walls and two pieces of roof.”

  “That’s all we’re supposed to have, Noah. What were you trying to build? A palace? We have enough stuff to decorate a hundred gingerbread houses.”

  Noah had wanted to make the girls a gingerbread castle. He doubted Charlotte and Cheyenne had ever had one and he wanted to make them something big and special for his first Christmas with them.

  Hannah laughed. “When I put you on gingerbread house duty, I thought you’d pick up a kit with all the stuff in it, not make everything from scratch.”

  Noah’s shoulders dropped. “They make a kit?”

  “Yep.” Hannah attempted to hide her face behind the dish towel. “It all fits in one shirt-sized box, no baking required.”

  “Oh, man.” Noah flopped onto the chair. “You must think I am the biggest boob.”

  Hannah braced her hands on his shoulders and leaned over. “No, I think you are the sweetest man to go to this much trouble to make your daughters a gingerbread house. Not many men would do that.”

  “Speaking of Donner and Blitzen, do you want me to wake them up and get them ready for dinner?”

  “If you don’t mind. We’re running behind schedule tonight. Normally they don’t nap this late. We may never get them back to bed later.”

  Noah didn’t think he would ever mind waking up his children. He climbed the stairs to the baby gate. It had taken him a good ten minutes to figure out how to get the thing open earlier. He just hoped Charlotte didn’t figure it out anytime soon. Her nimble fingers were able to open anything. He’d be a nervous wreck trying to keep up with her all the time. He came to a sudden stop outside their door. Wasn’t that his goal? To take them home and be responsible for them? None of it seemed as easy as he’d originally thought. Hannah needed to come with him and he had to find a way to convince her.

  He eased the door open and then remembered they were supposed to pick out new beds for the girls. He didn’t want Hannah to have to do it alone, and he wasn’t sure if the store would be open in the morning before he flew home. One and a half days with his children was not enough time. Even if he could get beds ordered and delivered, Hannah shouldn’t have to contend with taking down the cribs and setting everything up on her own. He didn’t know how she managed the kids and her numerous jobs on the ranch. Something had to give before she did. She needed to focus on two things at the most and he knew the only reason she couldn’t was because she didn’t have the money to hire someone to help her out on the ranch.

  Cheyenne sat up, quietly watching him. The second he reached the side of the crib, she raised her arms in the air for him. She didn’t vocalize as much as Charlotte, but he’d read that sometimes one twin will talk for the other one.

  “Hi there, beautiful.” He lowered himself into the glider in the corner of the room, holding her in his arms. He’d seen a lot of this room during his video chats with Hannah. As great as they were, they didn’t compare with sitting in the room and being able to touch his children. The sound of Charlotte’s deep breathing in the crib and the smell of Cheyenne’s hair, which had a piece of candy cane stuck in it, made him never want to leave. It was hard enough going home a week and a half ago. He didn’t know how he would do it tomorrow, especially when Christmas was fifteen days away. He’d only get to spend another two and a half days with them between now and then, providing the weather cooperated. He needed more time. They all needed to be in the same state. He’d talk to his real-estate agent on Monday and ask her to expand her search. He’d lost too much time with his kids already.

  He wrangled both girls into the bathroom and washed their hands and faces before heading back downstairs. The candy cane chunk in Cheyenne’s hair put up a fight, but he eventually got it out.

  Hannah served honey mustard–glazed salmon with wild rice and steamed vegetables for dinner. While he was normally a burgers and steak guy, the fresh herbs and homemade glaze had him reaching for seconds. The twins happily munched on their own small pieces with a pureed version of the vegetables.

  “This is nice.” He reached across the table for Hannah’s hand. “The four of us eating dinner together. A man could get very spoiled by this.”

  “I’m glad you feel that way.”

  Since Hannah had cooked, Noah insisted on washing the dishes while Hannah cut paper snowflakes and the girls finger-painted cardboard ornaments. Half the kitchen was covered in a plastic drop cloth, and the girls were almost completely covered in paint. The more of a mess they made, the more fun they had.

  Noah wasn’t a messy guy. He liked things clean, orderly. Chaos drove him crazy, which was probably due to his time in the air force. His helicopters had to be spotless, his clothes wrinkle-free, yet there he was, covered in flour and cinnamon. Both of his daughters had splattered paint on his jeans and he couldn’t have been happier. He didn’t know when he’d last laughed that hard.

  “What we don’t use, we can always donate to the food bank you were talking about.” Noah sighed. He still needed to go Christmas shopping and then wrap and ship the presents down so they would be ready and waiting when he arrived Christmas weekend. He didn’t know what to get the girls. He’d love to buy them an entire toy store, but between the airfare to Te
xas every weekend, his attorney and the child support on top of his usual expenses, he couldn’t afford to go overboard. He made excellent money, but it wasn’t that good. Besides, he didn’t want Hannah to think he was showing her up by giving them more than she could afford to.

  Hannah nodded approvingly. “I think that’s a great idea. They ask everyone attending the Mistletoe Rodeo to bring items for the food bank. I’d say we’re good to go there.”

  After Noah figured out how to successfully use a piping bag, he assembled his little gingerbread house. All that work for something eight inches high. He tore open one of the bags of candy when Hannah stopped him.

  “You can’t decorate it now. It has to harden overnight or else the weight of the candy will collapse it. We have tomorrow.”

  “Not really. My flight is at two and we’re an hour from the airport. I have to be out of here by noon to allow for traffic and check-in time.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “They didn’t have any later flights?”

  “There’s one direct flight and it takes five and a half hours. Two thousand miles is a long way from here. I wish I didn’t have to go so soon, especially after losing a day to the weather, but hopefully it won’t be like this forever.” Should he tell her his plan to sell his house and buy a ranch with enough land for her to farm? He wanted to reassure her that he was willing to make the sacrifice in order for them to stay together as a family. But until he had something concrete to show her, he didn’t think she’d believe him.

  “I want to talk to you about something and I hope I don’t offend you.” There were too many conversations they needed to have, and if he didn’t start having them now, they’d run out of time for those, too.

  “Oh, boy.” Hannah collapsed into a chair at the table. “Go ahead.”

  “Well, that’s a bit dramatic. This is a good conversation...at least it should be.” Noah braced himself for a fight anyway. “The court hasn’t determined child support payments yet, but you know they’re coming. I’m going to start giving you money weekly now. There’s no reason to wait. That being said, I know you’re a strong woman and you can do a lot of things, but, Hannah, working at the rodeo school, training and boarding horses, barrel racing on top of trying to run a farm and taking care of the girls is insane. You can’t do it all.”

  Hannah stared down at her hands. “You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know. But once I’m USDA certified organic, I’ll be able to cut back and even hire someone to help me. So thanks, but no thanks. We’ll be fine.”

  “You’re not willing to give up anything?”

  “If I had to choose, it would be teaching, as much as I love it. The rodeo school is kind of a hassle because it’s on the other side of town. I’d hold lessons here, but that requires liability insurance.” She held up her hands in defeat. “Boarding horses is a cakewalk compared to everything else, plus it’s steady income. The farm isn’t too bad, because I’m just managing the soil right now, but I’ll be planting my first crops this spring. They won’t be classified as organic for another two years, but the land will begin turning a profit. I’m only planting on a handful of acres. Most of my land is horse pasture. So yes, if it came down to it, I guess I could give up the farm, because I have to keep putting money into it before I’ll see any return on my investment. I don’t want to, though. And I can’t possibly give up barrel racing. That’s who I am. That would be like you giving up being a pilot. All that leaves is training horses and there’s no overhead involved there.”

  “Could you afford to hire someone to help you run the farm now or even in the spring?”

  “Not until it’s generating revenue.” Hannah pushed away from the table and grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge. She uncorked it and poured them each a glass. “I know I have to give up something. I just haven’t figured out what yet. It’s not an easy decision. I have to think long-term.”

  Hannah’s acknowledgment of the problem was a start. Moving to Oregon would be the best solution, but without anything solid to offer her, it was nothing more than a thought. Heavy conversations were not the way he wanted to spend his Saturday night.

  “I know we haven’t talked about it today.” She tilted her head toward the girls. “I think now would be the perfect time to tell them who you are.”

  The thought had been at the back of his mind since he’d landed. He’d hoped to discuss it after the parade, but then the Santa incident happened and he’d decided they’d had enough for one day.

  “Are you sure? You were against it last week.”

  “It’s been weighing on me for days. The big difference between now and the last time we discussed it is your communication with them. We hadn’t established a nightly routine yet. I think they need to know they have one parent.” Hannah stood and grabbed a few clean dish towels from the drawer. “I’m Aunt Hannah. I’m not mom and I’m not dad. They need a dad. They need you. After what I saw today, I’ve never been surer of it.”

  Noah washed his hands and scrubbed his face in the kitchen sink before sitting down across from Charlotte and Cheyenne at the table. No matter how much he’d practiced this moment, he’d forgotten everything he wanted to say.

  “Hey, you two.” Noah looked to Hannah for help. “I don’t know how to begin.”

  “Charlotte, Cheyenne, can you two look at me for a minute?” The girls looked up, big blue eyes in a sea of multicolored paint. “You know how Grandpop is my daddy?”

  Charlotte plopped a painted hand on her sister’s head and laughed. Cheyenne returned the favor to the side of the face.

  “I think we’re losing our audience.” Noah laughed.

  “Play nice, girls.” Hannah leaned across the table and wiped the paint out of Charlotte’s nose.

  “Are you sure that stuff washes off?”

  Cheyenne attempted to protect her sister and tried to wrestle the towel away from Hannah. “I’ve been making this for them since they were a year old. It’s only water and flour with some gel food coloring. I make another type of paint for the bathtub. They love it.” Hannah let Cheyenne have the towel. She then proceeded to clean her sister with it. “Girls, how would you like to have a daddy to love and to love you back?” Charlotte began clapping and Cheyenne stilled. “You would like that, wouldn’t you?” Hannah reached across the table and lightly tickled both of their bellies before looking at Noah. “There is your cue.”

  Noah moved his chair closer to their high chairs. “How would you like it if I was your daddy?” he asked.

  “Okay,” Charlotte said and then went back to her finger painting.

  Cheyenne reached for his hand and pulled him toward her.

  “What about you, sweetheart? Do you want me to be your daddy?”

  “Love you,” she shouted and then began banging her palms on her high chair tray.

  Any chance of not shedding a tear ended there. His chest swelled. His heart was about to burst through his shirt. “I love you, too, Cheyenne. You have no idea how much.” He lifted her out of her chair and hugged her tight. Her little hands twisted in his hair as she babbled against his neck. Tears clouded his eyes, choking his voice. “I’ll be yours forever.”

  * * *

  AFTER A BATH and a clean set of clothes all around, they all piled on the couch and watched A Charlie Brown Christmas and Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town. The girls sat between them, giggling and happy. Hannah had almost forgotten she and Noah were battling each other for custody. They felt like a family. And she liked it. Too much, because regardless of Noah telling her he wanted to give their relationship a chance, they needed to be together—every day, not just weekends—for it to work. She was running out of time before he left in the morning.

  Hannah gathered everyone’s clothes and tossed them in the washing machine, giving Noah a chance to read a bedtime story to his daughters alone. She hadn’t
been sure how they would react to the news, and she still wasn’t sure how much they understood. At least they had someone to call Daddy, and however Noah had come into their lives, she couldn’t imagine any other man as their father.

  The moment, as beautiful as it had been, was bittersweet. The closer Noah became to his daughters, the further she felt them slipping away. She wanted to trust him. She wanted to believe he would never cut her out of their lives, but once their birth certificate was changed and a court gave him parental rights, she wouldn’t be their guardian any longer. She’d have no ties to them whatsoever. At least not legally. He could take them and move to another country and she would be powerless to stop him.

  An echo of laughter traveled through the house. The children were happy and that was what mattered most, right? Not her feelings. She didn’t want to be selfish. But dammit, she’d helped raise those children just as much as a father would have.

  “Hannah.” She jumped at the sound of his voice.

  “You scared me half to death.” She hadn’t heard him come in over the sound of the dryer. “Are the girls asleep already?” She hated the thought of not tucking them in. She wasn’t ready to give that up.

  “They’re getting there. They want you to read them a story now.”

  “I knew their afternoon nap would throw their little sleep cycles off.”

  Hannah was surprised when Noah followed her upstairs. She’d hoped to have a few minutes alone with the girls, for no other reason than it had been a long day and she wanted to make sure they were okay. Their reactions were harder to read when he was around. They fixated on him because he was shiny and new. And that was great. She wanted them to love him. But it hurt at the same time.

  “How about we read Goodnight Moon?” It had been one of their favorites and their eyes were so heavy with sleep, she didn’t think they’d last through the first couple pages. A few minutes later, they were both out. She used to love watching them fall asleep before Lauren had moved to Boston. She still loved it.