Chaos (Constellation Book 2)

by Jennifer Locklear

  “Do you want to do something this weekend?”

  “Like what?”

  “You tell me.”

  Heide tilted her head. “Can we go to the library?”

  “Sure.”

  “Cool.”

  “Let’s get you tucked in.”

  “Okay.” She scooted toward her pillows and I pulled the blankets around her. I also removed various books and toys from her bed, so she’d have room to stretch out during the night. Then, I kissed my daughter on the forehead and smiled at her as I pulled back.

  “You look good, Dad.”

  I was so surprised by her words I laughed. “I do?”

  “Yep. You look happy again.”

  My smile disappeared, but I kept my tone friendly. “What do you mean by again?”

  Heide shrugged and turned bashful. “I don’t know.”

  I watched her as I debated whether to push her. I decided to prod just a little more. “Have I been looking unhappy?”

  Her eyes met mine. “Maybe. A little.”

  “I didn’t realize that. I’ll have to pay better attention.”

  “I can let you know.” She was eager to help.

  “It’s a deal,” I said. “If I ever look unhappy, you’ll have to elbow me or something.”

  Her eyes grew wide. “Really? I can?”

  “Within reason.” I held up my hands in surrender. “Don’t clobber me.”

  “All right.”

  The matter seemed resolved for now. I’d been frustrated by the lack of direction and passion in my life. It was unsettling that things had gotten to the point where even my little girl had noticed my somber moods. Our conversation about my life had been short, but I took Heide’s inquisitiveness about my newfound happiness as an optimistic sign.

  “I have to go talk to Mom about something. Do you need anything?”

  “Nope.”

  “Good. Thanks for letting me work tonight. We’ll go to the library this weekend and pick out some books.”

  “Can we play checkers, too? Remember they have that huge table of them at the library?”

  “Yes. That’ll be fun.” I stood up and made my way to her bedroom door. I halted at the threshold. “Good night, sweetie.”

  “Night, Dad.”

  “I love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I stepped back out into the hallway and wandered to the family room. Allison was sitting in her favorite spot on the sofa. The television was on, but she wasn’t absorbed in the program. She was finally available for a talk.

  I took my usual place near Allison but not sitting right next to her.

  She glanced in my direction, an annoyed look cemented on her face. “What is the matter with you tonight?”

  “Nothing’s the matter,” I responded tersely. “I got a phone call from the agency in Bend this afternoon.”

  In an instant, she understood. She sighed and tried to turn her attention to the television set. “I take it you’re headed back to Oregon.”

  “We all are,” I emphasized. “I’m bringing you and Heide with me. We’re flying to Portland on the twentieth.”

  Allison dropped her head and shook it with determination. “We can’t. You’ll have to go alone.”

  I was dumbfounded. “What do you mean? Why?”

  “Heide has school on the twentieth.” Allison’s justification was devoid of emotion or merit.

  I crossed my arms. “That’s ridiculous. You need to stop acting like Oregon is on the other side of the world. She’ll miss a grand total of four days.”

  Allison fixed me with a severe stare. “Exactly my point, Jack. I don’t want her missing an entire week of school just so you can scratch your midlife itch.”

  “For God’s sake, Allison. She’s in the first grade. It’s not like she has midterms looming.”

  My wife glared at me, and her increasing anger further deepened my determination.

  “Talk to Heide’s teacher tomorrow. If there’s work she can bring with her on the trip, I’ll take the time to help her with it.”

  Allison had no rebuttal to my suggestion, and she knew it. She looked away from me and sighed. “So, on top of everything else I do around here, you’ll need me to book the flight, find a hotel, rent a car. All that nonsense.”

  I intended my words to be kind. I wanted to be helpful, but my annoyance poisoned my tone. “You don’t have to worry about any of the details. I’ve reserved us a hotel suite and a car. I also booked our flight.”

  “You did what?” she snapped. “Why would you do that without talking to me first? Why don’t I have any say about this, Jack?”

  “You know what a great opportunity this is,” I barked back. “How many times do we have to go around on the subject?”

  We were both angry now. Allison rose and stormed off to the kitchen. Within moments, I heard the sound of slamming drawers and cabinet doors. Her mulishness incensed me, and I was fed up with her resistance, but I also wanted to convince her that I had our family’s best interests in mind. I got up and entered the kitchen where Allison was preparing Heide’s lunch for school the next day.

  “Look.” I struggled to keep my voice even. “Things are getting out of hand.”

  “You think?” she mumbled with thick sarcasm.

  “Please. Try to treat this like a family vacation. When was the last time the three of us went anywhere for a week?”

  Allison was preparing a fruit bowl for Heide and angrily slicing fresh strawberries. She didn’t interrupt her progress to look at me, but she did respond.

  “I suppose if things go your way, this will turn into a permanent vacation.”

  “We’ve both known this kind of thing was inevitable, Allison. I’ve achieved everything I can at GKV. There is nothing more I can gain by staying there. Without a bold move, we’ll just end up treading water financially. As it is, my career isn’t satisfying, and I want more for you and for Heide. I want to give you both everything I can offer.”

  Allison was unresponsive, still focused on assembling Heide’s fruit bowl.

  “Please. Just try to be open-minded. I promise not to make any other decisions without speaking with you first.”

  Allison set her knife down on the cutting board and placed her palms on the granite countertop. When she lifted her head and made eye contact with me, her expression was serious.

  “I’ve heard that before, Jack. Why should this situation be any different from a thousand others you’ve put me through?”

  “It will be,” I answered, weakly.

  Allison glared her disbelief. She turned away and moved to the sink to wash her hands. The action was a distraction, not a necessity. When she turned off the water and grabbed a dish towel, she said, “I’m so tired of being the last one to know everything.”

  WE LEFT for Oregon as planned. I’d taken the extra step to book a direct flight from Baltimore, wanting to make the trip as easy as possible on Allison. She had chosen to sit in the aisle seat, declaring it would be best for her to go with Heide on the inevitable bathroom breaks. I sat next to the window and our daughter was in between us, oblivious to the growing tension.

  As our plane made its descent into Portland, we were treated to a spectacular view of Mount Hood. The snow-covered mountain loomed large in the small, round window. The peak was so bright and so close that I unbuckled Heide’s seat belt and pulled her onto my lap so she could see it. Allison raised a disapproving eyebrow, but otherwise stayed silent. Heide had never seen a mountain of this size and it made an immediate impression on her.

  “Wow,” she whispered in awe.

  “That is the biggest mountain in Oregon,” I explained, “but it’s not the only one. There are lots of them here.”

  “Like how many? More than ten?”

  “Yes. The town we’re going to has at least four nearby. Wait until you see a bunch of them right next to each other.”

  “Awesome!” Heide turned her head to draw Allison’s attention. “D
id you know that, Mom?”

  “I didn’t,” she admitted.

  “Do you want to look?” Heide asked but had already turned her head back toward Mount Hood. The plane began to turn away from the peak and she strained her neck to watch as it disappeared.

  Allison grinned. “That’s all right. I’m sure I’ll see it after we land.”

  After a few moments, Allison began to fret. “Jack? Heide should go back to her seat now.”

  I tapped Heide on her back, and she bounded back to her spot. I helped her with her seatbelt as Allison watched with maternal interest.

  Heide believed the trip to the Pacific Northwest was a family vacation. We’d also told her I would have to attend a few meetings while in Oregon.

  Allison had been quiet for much of the trip. She’d alternated her time between reading and resting her eyes, but I hadn’t taken offense. I understood she was gathering her energy for the new few days. Just like me, she was doing her best to hide her moodiness from Heide.

  Once we’d landed and were making our way through the terminal toward baggage claim, Allison asked me a pointed question.

  “Why didn’t we fly to Eugene?”

  It was a valid question. Landing in Eugene would have shortened our car trip to Bend.

  “It’s a vacation,” I reminded her as Heide switched hand-holding partners, moving from me to her mother. “This will give us a chance to enjoy more of the scenery.”

  “Are you sure we can get there today? Maybe we should stay in Portland tonight. We could find a hotel near the airport.”

  “It’s fine. We’ll be settled in Bend in time for dinner, and we won’t have to travel again tomorrow. I’m up for it. Let’s just get there so your weekend can begin.”

  The final push to Bend took several hours, but I was determined to grow Allison’s enthusiasm for Oregon by pointing out the many spectacular sights on the long drive from Portland. I’d even rented a luxury SUV for extra comfort. Heide and I enjoyed every moment as we traveled from the city through the Willamette Valley. Eventually, we began to wind our way through forest and the volcanic landscape of the Cascade Range. Allison played along for our daughter’s sake.

  Late in the afternoon, we arrived in central Oregon and pulled into the parking lot of the Riverhouse. Kathleen had recommended the hotel via e-mail, and after looking at the website, I booked a suite for our stay. The Riverhouse was located right in town, and yet the Deschutes River ran through the center of the property. Following another suggestion from Kathleen, we flew to Oregon on a Wednesday, allowing me a full day of rest before my final interview began on Friday morning.

  After settling in our room, I sent Kathleen a brief e-mail to let her know I was in town and to thank her for her guidance. As I drafted my message, my fingers hovered over the keyboard. I considered inviting her to join me and Allison for happy hour. I pondered the right choice of words, and when they didn’t come, I decided it might be wiser for Kathleen to extend a personal invitation.

  Within a few minutes of sending my greeting, Kathleen responded. Her message was polite, concise. She was glad we’d arrived, and she would see me on Friday. I closed my laptop and turned my attention back to Allison as she unpacked Heide’s suitcase.

  She was moving contentedly around the suite. Now that we were in Bend, she was beginning to relax. I opened my own suitcase and began to put away my things before Allison took care of it. I’d saved one last surprise for my wife by securing a room that included a Jacuzzi tub, and she was excited to try out the oversize bath.

  “We’ve been on the go for hours. Do you want to order room service?” I offered. “You can take your bath.”

  She beamed and approached me for a quick kiss. “I’d love to. What a treat! I don’t remember the last time I had room service.”

  “That tub will take a while to fill. Why don’t you start? Heide and I can finish unpacking.”

  Allison draped her arm around my waist, her fingertips brushing the top of my backside. Her spontaneous intimacy startled me.

  “That does sound nice,” she murmured.

  “Go ahead. Take full advantage of my services.” I winked, happy to share a playful exchange with my wife.

  Dinner arrived while Allison was still in the tub. I helped Heide set out a blanket on the deck, so she could enjoy a spontaneous picnic. Next, I opened the bottle of wine I’d ordered and poured two glasses. I ventured to the master bedroom and sat on the edge of the tub. I handed Allison a glass and watched her as she sipped her pinot noir.

  Her eyes drifted shut as she spoke. “I have to admit this is a great hotel, Jack. You’re doing an excellent job of spoiling me.”

  I grinned, pleased that she was beginning to enjoy herself. “The river is great, isn’t it? I want to slide the deck door open tonight so we can listen to it from bed.”

  “The trees are so big. I keep forgetting I’m in town and not in the middle of the forest.”

  The water swirled in the tub, obscuring a clear view of Allison’s body, but her breasts were visible—glistening and pert. She had raised one leg up to rest of the edge of the tub. I set my wine glass down and grasped her foot with both hands. I began to massage her gently and she hummed her satisfaction.

  “What are the plans for tomorrow?” she asked.

  “Whatever we want. We can sleep in. We can stay here or go out. I’ll leave it up to you.”

  Allison shook her head. “I won’t be of any use there. You know way more about the area than me.”

  She’d all but admitted that her interest in Oregon was so minuscule she hadn’t bothered to look for things to do over the long weekend.

  This realization stung, but I pushed aside my disappointment and made a suggestion of my own. “There’s a town called Sisters a few miles from here. It’s built to look like something right out of the Old West. We could take Heide, have lunch and do a bit of shopping if you like.”

  “Sure.” Allison’s tone was mellow, but she sat up straighter in the tub. “That sounds like fun.”

  I rubbed her foot a few moments longer, before shifting my hand to her leg. I began caressing her calf with slow and sensual movements. We were both in good moods, and I sensed a genuine opportunity.

  I cleared my throat. “With any luck, Heide will feel the jet lag soon. Maybe we can get to bed early tonight.”

  My gaze traveled up Allison’s body until my lustful gaze met hers.

  “It has been a while.” She looked away, nervous.

  I stayed silent. Patient. We hadn’t made love in over two months, but I wasn’t going to be the one to point that out. Her defenses were coming down, but I needed to tread lightly. Although we’d been married for years, sex between us had never been carefree. I always initiated the prospect with caution. It was dangerous to assume Allison would be open to the idea of having sex. There was never a guarantee.

  “I don’t want to make any promises. I don’t want to tease you.” The concern in her voice added to this rare display of vulnerability.

  “And I don’t want you to feel obligated,” I reassured her.

  “I know I’ve been withdrawn. I’ll find my way back soon.”

  I patted Allison’s knee, hoping to convince her that I understood her dilemma.

  Allison’s eyes darted to the doorway. “Should we check on Heide?”

  We both rose, and I reached out to take my wife’s arm. The last thing I wanted was for her to slip and injure herself. She stood inches from me—naked, wet and dazzling—and I’d barely touched her skin in weeks.

  “I want you,” I said, not pausing to think. “I want to be inside you all night.”

  She swallowed and withdrew her arm from my grasp. “I want to give that to you, Jack. But please don’t expect anything tonight.”

  “Why not?” I asked, more from bewilderment than hurt.

  “We’re sharing this suite with Heide. I won’t be able to truly relax. Not with her sleeping so close by. It’s not an ideal situation. Especially
for what you want from me.”

  Disillusioned, I nodded. My wife had made up her mind. This was to be the direction the rest of our weekend would take. There would be no lovemaking for us in Oregon. I had crossed the line. I’d been too aggressive. Regardless, I couldn’t allow Allison’s lack of desire to ruin this trip. I needed her in good spirits to achieve success during my interview.

  Later that night after Allison and Heide were both asleep, I took a shower. Fresh memories of Allison’s bath consumed my thoughts. Soon, I was aroused and roughly satisfied myself. I experienced no embarrassment or shame. I was a married man who masturbated more than I made love with my wife. It was never ideal, but it was the nature of our relationship. For better or worse, I had committed myself to her. I held out hope that we would resolve our challenges.

  After my shower, I was wide awake and threw myself into preparing for my final interview with Aurora Advertising. I sat in a wingback chair in a corner of the master bedroom and turned on my tablet. I put the polishing touches on my assignments and soon the device had my full attention. I decided to search for information about Robert and Kathleen on the internet. I wanted to learn more about the Brighton family.

  There were many articles featuring Robert, both local and statewide. He was an innovative leader, a rogue, who’d moved a successful business away from Portland and grew it outside Oregon’s major urban centers. There was also a marriage announcement that was nearly a decade old, but no wedding photo was attached. I made an important mental note that it was crucial not to mistake Robert’s wife for Kathleen’s mother.

  When I searched for Kathleen, I found her LinkedIn account but no other form of social media. Her online presence was limited to work, and from all appearances, she was one of the most successful businesswomen in the region. Articles that featured her specifically were harder to come by, but I did read one that highlighted her work with the local hospital. She didn’t appear to serve on the hospital’s board, but her credentials qualified her to do so.

  By the time I set the tablet aside and settled into bed for the night, I’d made up my mind. Heide’s astute observation about my rediscovered state of happiness spurred me on. Aurora Advertising and the Brighton family impressed me, and I would accept nothing less than an offer from this firm.