Blind Man's Buff

by Barbara Gaskell Denvil

  “Thank goodness I’ve got the Knife of Clarr safely with me,” said Nathan. “I bet I’m going to need it.”

  “Here we are,” shouted the ladder. “Everybody dismount. Ding ding. Off you go. Time to go home to your ancient little slums. I hope I don’t see you again too soon.”

  And with a screech, the lift doors opened wide, and the wind rushed in. Everyone tumbled out.

  They sat up in a hurry, staring around. Beneath them were expensive tiles, and in the centre was a small stone fountain. Beyond the tiles were high beamed walls of wood, interspersed with huge windows of real glass. The sky above was grey and thickly clouded, and the ground was wet. They were in a small courtyard within a grand building where someone extremely wealthy must surely live.

  Nobody spoke for some time. But they were not interrupted, so they whispered to each other, a little fearful. “Where is we?” John mumbled. “I ain’t never seen this place afore. Tis mighty big.”

  “And mighty special. Like some palace, I reckons.”

  “So how do we get out?”

  Abruptly a door at one side flew open, and three men, all dressed in identical scarlet like Father Christmas, marched out into the courtyard. They wore thick gold chains around their necks, no white beards, and certainly no sack of gifts. It was not Father Christmas that Alice was thinking of. She stood up at once, startled. “These are royal dignitaries, so get up. quick.”

  But standing upright in an embarrassed row, they could not hide their modern clothes. All the boys except Sam wore jeans and trainers, while Sam wore a dark grey ski suit, very well padded, which still had some wet patches of snow on the hood. Both girls wore thick coats and were well wrapped from head to toe, but although Poppy also wore jeans, Alice was wearing a skirt and her bright tartan tights were vivid and unmistakable.

  The three men stared with pursed mouths and deep frowns.

  “Disgraceful,” said one. “Appallingly immodest. You will all follow me. This intrusion will be dealt with immediately.”

  Having no choice, everyone followed as instructed. Two of the dignitaries led, and one followed in case anyone tried to run off. Into the great building they were marched. There was a brilliance of lit candles and flaming torches in sconces, and the walls were panelled in deep oak beneath many beautiful arras and small paintings in golden frames. The floorboards were highly polished and a little slippery. In rubber soled trainers most of them did not slip, but Alice was wearing leather boots, and kept sliding. Alfie, walking at her side, put out a hand to support her.

  With a worried cough, Nathan asked, “Where are we, my lord? What part of London is this?”

  One of the men turned and glared. “We are not in London at all, boy,” he said. “This is the Palace of Eltham, and you have no right to be here. Once we have discovered who you are, you will be placed under arrest.”

  “But we didn’t mean it,” squeaked Poppy. “Honestly. We didn’t know where we were going.”

  “Tell that to his lordship, the Bishop Morton,” answered the man. “But he will not believe you.”

  “No one would believe such foolishness,” declared another. “You are undoubtedly liars and thieves.”

  Chapter Five

  “Oh, help,” Sam muttered. “This must be the new king. We don’t even know who he is.”

  “A rotten usurper, like Lester Hazlett.”

  “Hush,” begged Nathan. “We’re already in enough trouble.”

  They could see that the December afternoon was already growing dark. Through the windows a crescent moon shone clear, and frost was beginning to creep along the lead casing of the mullions. The palace outer corridors were extremely cold, but as they turned a corner, they came to a great open archway leading into a vast chamber with a high vaulted ceiling, and a massive fire was blazing across the hearth, which was taking up one entire wall. Around the hearth, pinned in loops across the wooden mantle, were swathes of ivy. Sprigs of holly with bright scarlet berries, were buried into the ends of the loops. Down from the high ceiling, swinging from the two main beams and avoiding the huge chandelier of lit candles, was a bough thickly wrapped in holly sprigs, ivy, and mistletoe, so that red and white berries nestled together. It seemed quite beautiful and very Christmassy! They were pushed through into this chamber and ordered to stand and wait. No one objected, as they moved a little closer to the fire.

  Two of the dignitaries stayed to watch over them while the other bustled out to organise what should happen next. But while the small group waited, glad of the warmth, a line of long-coated men began to walk past along the wide corridor. The man at the head of this small troop paused, looking with dislike and disapproval at Nathan and his friends.

  “What is this?” he demanded, pointing.

  The gentleman who had previously been talking to him, said at once, “I have no idea, your majesty. But I shall find out.”

  One of the dignitaries standing beside Nathan and the others, stepped forwards and bowed low, one knee to the polished floorboards. “Your majesty. My humble apologies,” one said, staying bent, “These ill-dressed strangers were discovered moments ago, having entered the palace without permission. They were apprehended in the inner courtyard of the fountain, and when questioned, have offered no explanation.”

  King Henry VII stared, his mouth tight. He was a slim but not a tall man, yet he carried himself with both disdain and dignity. He had a large head which was very bony, with a strong nose, stern and narrow eyes which stared in suspicion. His hair was thin and light brown. Nathan stared at him with considerable interest, having seen his portrait in school. Now he was wondering how he could look so different to his eventual son Henry VIII, who would grow to be very tall, fat and red-haired. But of course, Henry VIII hadn’t even been born yet. Nathan smiled to himself, but the king noticed this and was exceedingly annoyed.

  “You,” he pointed again, “you smile. Have you no comprehension of your disgraceful appearance and your crime in entering here? I may have you whipped. Are you from some foreign land? Do you speak English?”

  The others had all fallen to their knees and now Nathan thought he had better do the same.

  “Yes, sir, I mean your majesty,” he said at once, wincing at the bumps on his knees. “Sorry. I mean, we got lost and none of us meant to come into the palace. And these clothes – well,” he paused, thinking, then hurried on, “it’s fancy dress. We’re actors doing a Christmas play. And we lost the rest of the troop and wandered in here by mistake.”

  The king turned, glaring at once at the dignitary who had spoken to him first. “If this is true,” he said coldly, “then our boundaries are insufficiently guarded. See to it.” Then he turned back to Nathan, but it was Alice and Poppy he was now glaring at. “It is unforgivable for females to display their legs in such a fashion. You cannot appear on any stage in such attire.”

  Alice shuffled, trying to hide behind Alfie, but Poppy stepped forwards. “I’m not displaying anything,” she insisted. “I’m all covered up. It’s freezing.”

  One of the gentlemen behind the king sniggered. “Those baggy hose are so ugly.” He pointed at Poppy’s jeans. “You deserve to freeze, immodest female.”

  Poppy, who was wearing her best jumper and jacket, had thought she looked rather nice, and was annoyed at these words, but when she started to answer, Nathan stamped on her toes, and she snapped her mouth shut.

  “Your merciful majesty,” said Alice, stepping suddenly forwards, “we are honoured that your grace is kind enough to notice us and speak to us. I apologise most humbly for our clothes, but we are actors and harlequins, and these are the comic disguises of play-actors in other countries where we have been – that is, touring and travelling. Um, in Italy, that is. So we thought it would be acceptable to bring such a new fashion to the, um, progressive country of England.”

  Alice hesitated, wondering if she had said too much, but the king’s frosty glare faded a little, and he asked, “Your name, madam?”

  She hu
ng her head. “Lady Alice Parry, your majesty.”

  At this the king frowned again, saying softly, “I know that name from somewhere. Stanley, how do I know that name?”

  “Baron Cambridge, your grace,” the elderly lord reminded his sovereign.

  “Ah, yes.” The king coughed, showing a row of rather blackened teeth. “Yes, so it is.” He turned back to Alice. “A lady of the nobility, indeed? And you demean yourself by dressing in such a manner and performing the fool in a Christmas play?”

  Alice mumbled a bleak apology. “T’iant her fault, yer majesty,” said Alfie in desperation.

  “Instruct this young creature not to speak to his sovereign without permission, Stanley,” said the king, turning away. “Where is Morton?”

  “I am here, your grace.” A burley dark haired man strode forwards.

  “Speak to the young woman, Morton,” nodded the king. “Inform her that her marriage is arranged and will take place in January after the banns are read in the chapel.”

  “Here,” called the burly man, beckoning to Alice, who was now trembling so hard that her pleated skirt appeared to be dancing. “My office is down this passage. I need to talk to you, my lady.”

  She curtseyed and followed him, but with a pleading glance over her shoulder at the others. Lord Stanley grabbed Alfie’s shoulder, but everybody else rushed in. “No, no, he didn’t mean it,” said Nathan in a rush.

  “He’s – a bit simple,” explained Poppy. “You can’t whip a simpleton.”

  “He don’t mean no harm,” said John, grabbing Alfie’s other shoulder. “I mean – look at ‘im. The village idiot. Reckon tis why he’s dressed that way.”

  “You are dressed that way also,” the amused lord pointed out, but he was smiling slightly.

  Sam raised both hands. “He’s not well, your lordship. If you beat him, he’ll die. He’s got – the plague.”

  Lord Stanley grinned. “Well you all are clearly very loyal to each other,” he said. “Run along then, leave the palace immediately, and go and change those clothes. Your young lady friend will surely join you very soon.”

  “Thanks my lord,” called Peter. “I’ll play my lute for you one day.” And without looking back, they all made their escape.

  “You didn’t ortta be so nice to that Lord Stanley,” whispered John as they pushed open a huge door and found themselves in a smaller and darker corridor. “He were the swine wot betrayed our proper king.”

  “T’wer that pig wot helped kill King Richard,” nodded Alfie. “But I’s mighty glad he let us go, and thanks ever so, all of you.” He gave a playful punch at John and Poppy. “Village fool, is I? Well, p’raps I is, seeing wot I bin doing.”

  There were guards at the outer doors, but when Nathan explained that they had been sent away, the guards pushed the doors open for them. At the same moment, Alice arrived, out of breath, and together they all ran from the palace.

  “Wot now?”

  “Tis bitter cold and we ain’t got no medieval money,” sighed Alfie. “These clothes will surely have us all in trouble again. We’s miles from Bishopsgate, and them city gates’ll be locked agin us.”

  “We’ve slept rough before,” Peter shrugged. “And at least this time we’ve got really warm cosy clothes. We just need to find a barn with straw. I’m not tired anyway.”

  “I’m just miserable,” said Alice, her voice fading into the shadows. “The king has ordered me to marry the horrible baron.”

  “He can’t do that,” cried Poppy, aghast.

  “He can,” sighed Alice. “Kings do it all the time, telling people what to do and who to marry. Evidently the baron fought against King Richard at the great battle, and when this new king thanked him, the vile baron asked for just one thing. To marry me!”

  “And get all your money.”

  “Of course. It’s not really me he wants at all,” said Alice, kicking at a stone on the path as they wandered away from the huge shadows of the palace. “I almost feel like giving all my money away, and then see if the horrid creature still wants me.”

  “Come live in Lashtang,” said Sam. “And bring everything with you.”

  “Come live in Hammersmith with me,” said Poppy, and bring all your money and everything else too.”

  “The sort of money has changed,” said Alice, tempted. “You have paper money in your modern world.”

  “But your ancient money, and clothes, and furniture,” exclaimed Nathan, “would be worth a fortune in my time. The antique dealers would faint with excitement. You’d get even richer than you are now.”

  They lapsed into silence, and pulling their coats around them, continued walking. No one knew this area, for Richmond and Eltham were some distance from the old city, but they discovered the Thames, and knew they could follow the river back home. It was now even colder, for the night was very frosty, but the moon was clear silver and there seemed to be a hundred thousand stars twinkling down at them. A dark feathered owl flew over their heads without a single sound, off to hunt in the open meadows. There was a scurry at their feet, and a wary fox ran into the hedgerow and was gone. Eventually they walked past a small farm, and saw a long low barn, its doors hanging ajar.

  Tiptoeing inside, they discovered enough straw for a good night’s rest. But as they wriggled down into the scratchy warmth, Alice said suddenly, “Alfie, if I give you all my money – legally I mean – through Perceval Weeks, that solicitor – will you give it back to me one day?”

  Alfie gasped. “Corse I would. T’wouldn’t ever be proper mine. Be in my name, but I’d not spend a penny. And then,” he thought a moment and added, “I could always marry you.”

  Alice smiled into the darkness. “I’ll have to think about that,” she said softly.

  They woke to a bright morning. The frost was even thicker on the ground, so white it almost looked like snow, but the sky was a vivid cloudless blue, and everybody felt a surge of hope and energy. They climbed, laughing, from the straw and helped pick the dried yellow stalks from each other’s clothes. Stamping their feet to get the circulation buzzing, they pulled on their hats and scarves again, cuddled deeper into their coats, and set off down the riverside lane back towards the city. After only a little time, John challenged Alfie to a race, and they all started to run, skipping and chasing. This helped warm them up and by the time they reached the city gate, they were as warm as toast.

  The gate in the old Roman wall of London had been unlocked some hours already, and so they were able to hurry through, even though they were aware of extremely shocked suspicion from quite a few of the passers-by, amazed at their clothes. But nobody cared anymore. They were nearly home, where they expected to find the fires lit, hot spiced apple ale, cool perry cider and hippocras waiting with a huge breakfast of bread from the oven, wedges of bacon, boiled eggs, and porridge with honey. They could eat all they wanted and then rush upstairs to change their clothes, dress in the proper fashion for medieval London, and then meet to discuss the best thing to do about Alice and the wretched baron.

  Alice’s uncle and aunt, now her official guardians, had been left in charge, and had moved temporally from their own cottage in order to stay in the grand house.

  “I shall miss Granny’s cooking,’ said Nathan. “But Alice has the best cook in the old city.”

  “I doubt it,” Alice giggled with a sniff. “”But he’s a lovely cook and a lovely man. I think I’ll order roast venison for dinner.”

  “Shame we can’t have potatoes, since they haven’t been discovered yet,” added Poppy.

  “Or chocolate cheesecake.”

  Many shops and archways were decorated, some with holly and ivy, and some with wooden crosses and big painted banners. London looked bright and joyful, and the people who hurried by seemed happier, laughing and pointing at the decorations.

  But when they arrived at the Parry House in Bishopsgate, their hearts sank. There on the doorstep, arguing heatedly with the steward, were the baron and his brother Edward.
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br />   Both dressed far more grandly than had been usual, clearly they had gained some favour from the new Tudor king, but it certainly didn’t make them look any more attractive. Seeing them, Alice shrank back, but Nathan, Alfie, John and Poppy strode forwards.

  “What are you doing here?” Nathan demanded, glaring.

  It was obvious that the steward had been denying them admittance, but they were pushing their way in-, even though the steward stood firm, blocking their entrance.

  “She ain’t married to you yet,” shouted Alfie. “So go away, right now.”

  Both Edmund and the baron had been magically dropped in Lashtang in the past, but they had never visited modern London, so they had no idea what the modern clothes should be like. They both turned and were horrified, mouths hanging open, to see how everyone was dressed.

  Edmund pointed at Poppy. “She’s nearly naked,” he squeaked.

  Since Poppy was wrapped from her head to her toes, she found this statement extremely silly, and she laughed. But John was angry. “T’ain’t none o’ yer business wot we wears,” he said. “And you ain’t never marrying poor Alice. I doesn’t care wot the kings says. He ain’t the proper king nohow.”

  “You could be executed for saying such a thing,” said the baron, frowning down his nose. “I have spoken to his majesty already this morning, and he has assured me that our wedding is planned. I have come to speak to the Lady Alice, and not to any of you.”

  So Alice finally slipped forwards, and gazed in contempt at her betrothed, “Very well,” she said, standing unashamed in her little pleated skirt, woollies and tartan tights. “Now listen to me, my lord. His Majesty has informed me that he wishes us to marry, but I have not yet been able to tell him that this is quite impossible. Indeed, I am already married. I have taken Alfred to husband and he has claimed my property. And besides, most of my wealth I have already given to charity.”

  Both the baron and his brother gazed at her in consternation, and even Alfie looked a little shaken. But he managed to pull himself together, and said, “Meet me wife. And we’s very ‘appy.”