SEAL's Secret Baby

by Ivy Jordan

  “I’m really sorry,” I apologized, hanging my head humbly in front of me.

  “PTSD?” she questioned.

  I turned to her, my eyes curiously searching for judgement, but found none. “Yes. My lovely parting gift from the SEALS,” I chuckled half-heartedly.

  Bailey sat up, and scooted to the edge of the mattress. “You must’ve had some bad experiences mixed in with all those good memories,” she observed.

  I shrugged, trying to offer up a smile, even though faint. “I guess.”

  “Do you have nightmares a lot?” she pushed into my personal life without invitation.

  I wasn’t used to talking about my life, let alone my nightmares. Hell, even us guys knew better than to discuss our nightmares. I assumed the others had them, at least most of them, but we never spoke about it to each other. “Here and there,” I replied, hoping to cut the conversation short.

  Bailey’s eyes were wide and bright, so green they reminded me of an open meadow of tall grass. It was obvious she wasn’t willing to let the topic go, at least not yet.

  “I wish you would’ve stayed with me. I could have held you,” she presented.

  Held me? Was I a child?

  I chuckled without meaning to, something that turned Bailey’s bright eyes dim. “I’m sorry. I’m just not used to sharing that part of my life with anyone,” I admitted.

  “Is that why you stay out here all alone?” she questioned.

  My heart raced at her question. Maybe. I wasn’t sure. I just knew I liked it away from everyone, away from the normality of a world I didn’t feel I belonged to. “I never really thought about it,” I mumbled as I handed her the coffee I’d poured for her. I returned to the pot, focusing on filling my cup to the rim.

  “Being alone only makes your nightmares worse,” she sighed as if she were suddenly an expert on PTSD or on me.

  “I doubt that. It’s quiet up here. That seems to help,” I smirked.

  “What was the nightmare about? Something you’re reliving or something new?” she inquired.

  I moved to the bed, sitting on the edge while sipping my coffee and pondering her question. It wasn’t something I wanted to share or have her analyze, but something in her eyes told me it couldn’t hurt to indulge her.

  “We lost someone. I relive the night a lot. I was supposed to look after him, after all of them. I let them down,” I choked out, avoiding eye contact with Bailey as I spoke.

  “There was plenty out there that was out of your control. It’s not your fault,” she offered sweetly.

  How could she know that? She wasn’t there. I was. I was there, and I didn’t save Tommy.

  I shrugged, offered a quick smile, and moved from the edge of the bed. “Liam, the one I contacted, he hasn’t responded yet,” I informed her, changing the topic whether she wanted to or not.

  “How’s the weather?” she asked.

  “It doesn’t look good. The snow’s piled up from five days, and from the way it looks out there, more snow is headed our way,” I explained.

  My eyes watched hers, looking for the expected sign of disappointment. She smiled, her eyes remained soft and bright, and she didn’t appear to be upset.

  “That’s okay. I’m enjoying my time here with you,” she flirted.

  My dick shifted in my jeans at her words, and a smile crept up on my face without warning or control.

  “I don’t know how long it will be,” I expressed.

  “I don’t care,” she smiled, leaning back against her pillows with her hands behind her head.

  Wow!

  “Don’t you care that there are people probably out there frantically looking for you?” I questioned, still unable to smear the smile from my face, even with the seriousness of the question.

  Bailey didn’t budge. She let out a long, soft sigh, and then let her eyes lock onto mine. “If they are searching for me, they’ll find me eventually. Until then, it’s just you and me, and I’m not ready for that to end,” she concluded.

  I was stunned. I couldn’t imagine the appeal to her in this dingy cabin with no electricity and with the likes of me. Still, I couldn’t help grinning like a cat that just caught its first mouse.

  Chapter Ten

  Bailey

  I pulled my knees to my chest, happy that the pain had subsided in my hip and ankle. Staring out the window, I watched Xander split logs effortlessly with his strong arms and back, sighing at the thought of being with him again. It had been a week since we were together, there was still no word from his buddy Liam, and there was no attention from him. Had I put him off in some way?

  Goosebumps formed on my arms as the chill from the thin window rolled in. The cabin was warm, kept warm by Xander, but near the window, the draft was almost unbearable. I couldn’t take my eyes from Xander, so I pulled a wool throw around my arms and snuggled against the back of the large chair.

  His long hair curled out of his toboggan, and snow crested his goatee shades of white. Heat exploded between my legs remembering our night together. His strong arms, gentle touch, and piercing blue eyes penetrating through me pulled me back to that night, beneath him, and filled me with a longing for more. Why hadn’t he made a move? I was determined that he would again.

  With a swift swing of the axe, Xander’s head turned towards me, his eyes stopped on mine, and his lips rolled into a flirty smile. Fuck, I wanted him so bad!

  His head shook slightly, as if he was amused by my spying, and then went back to his log splitting. I jumped up, a new mission on my mind. I was going to get noticed, and he was going to make a move.

  I slid out of the baggy jogging pants he’d given me to wear, pulled my hair from its tight ponytail, and fluffed it up with my fingers just as he walked in the front door. As I stepped out into the room, the blast of cold air from outside nipped at my bare legs. Xander’s eyes immediately fell on my exposed flesh, lingering, but only for a moment. He walked towards the fire, dropping the logs he’d split beside the stone fireplace, and knelt down, warming his hands in front of the flame.

  “How’s the weather?” I asked, trying to act nonchalant as I moved to the couch.

  “It’s still pretty rough out there. I can see barely twenty feet down the mountain side,” he responded without turning around.

  “So, I guess we are still stuck?” I smirked, beaming inside that I got to stay in the cabin with Xander.

  He turned to me, his eyes widened, and his lips parted to allow an escaped sigh. I watched as he appeared to drift off somewhere else, somewhere other than this cabin with me.

  “I mean, you seem to be feeling better. We could try to make it down,” he offered.

  I couldn’t tell if he was reluctant because he didn’t want to try to make it down, or if he was reluctant because maybe he did. Maybe he was ready to get rid of me. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t paying attention to me anymore. My heart sank into my chest at the realization that I may be able to leave this mountain. Where would I go? What was waiting for me, who was waiting for me?

  “I’m not sure I could make it down,” I hesitated.

  Xander’s smile spread across his face, causing my heart to lighten. He didn’t want to get rid of me.

  “I could make it down, maybe find out who’s looking for you,” he suggested.

  “And leave me here alone?” I panicked.

  “It would just be a couple days,” he explained.

  I pulled my legs onto the couch, tucking them beneath me, and covering them with Xander’s long t-shirt I wore. I hated that idea almost as much as the one where I climbed down the mountain.

  Xander laughed, his eyes filled with amusement as he stared at me. “Are you afraid something will get ya?”

  “I’m not afraid,” I lied. “I just don’t want you to leave me,” I whined.

  He shoved a log onto the fire, and then poked it a couple times to position it before getting up and moving towards the couch. He sat beside me, his body still exuding the cold outside air. “I won’t
leave you,” he promised, pulling me into his arms.

  My legs filled with goosebumps, and I shivered from the cold.

  “Why aren’t you wearing pants?” he chuckled.

  “It was hot in here,” I smirked, knowing the real reason was to get noticed.

  “I’m gonna wash up,” he smiled, releasing me from his grip. I watched as he got up, walked into the bathroom, and shut the door. What the fuck?

  I reached up, pulled the blanket from the side of the couch onto my legs, and snuggled into the cushion. I watched the flame flickering as I thought about Xander and his distance. There had to be a reason why he’d been so uninterested all week.

  The water squealed from the faucet as Xander took his time washing up. My eyes grew heavy as I waited for him to exit the small room, eventually falling closed to darkness.

  “You hungry?” Xander’s voice pulled me from my sleep. It was still daylight, but it felt as though I’d slept for hours.

  “What time is it?” I asked, wiping the sleep from my eyes.

  “Around four,” he responded.

  He was sitting beside me, and the cabin smelled of garlic and lemon. I pushed myself up, feeling the grumble of hunger roll in my belly. “I’m starved,” I admitted.

  “Good. I made an early dinner,” he announced, getting up abruptly from his spot next to me on the couch. “Stay there. I’ll bring you a plate,” he insisted.

  I hated, and loved, that he took such good care of me. Maybe that was the problem; he didn’t want to make a move on someone so helpless. I had to show him I was fine, that I could take care of myself.

  My hip ached from the way I’d fallen asleep on the couch, but not bad enough to stop me from my mission. I pushed myself up, stretched out the kinks in my back and neck, and moved towards the kitchen. Xander was unwrapping a foil package that released more of the delicious aroma into the air when opened.

  “I told you I’d bring you your plate,” he smiled softly.

  “I can take care of myself,” I smirked.

  The satellite radio he’d gotten weather reports from was on low, and a reporter was heard announcing yet another burst of bad weather. I reached across Xander to the small radio, and turned the small dial. Static blasted through the tiny speakers, until finally music played. I turned it up, immediately noticing Xander’s surprise. My hip hurt, and my ankle felt weak, but I started dancing anyway. His eyes widened, and his smile spread quickly up his cheeks.

  “You’re feeling better,” he chuckled.

  I was feeling better. Much better.

  I grabbed the plates from the counter and held them for Xander to slide a piece of fish onto each. He opened another foil package that contained potatoes, peppers, and roasted tomatoes, splitting the contents equally between the two plates. My body swayed to the music, and suddenly I started to sing along. Your mama don’t dance, and your daddy don’t rock and roll.

  “You remember this song?” Xander asked, his surprise impossible to hide from his expression. His eyes widened even further as he listened to me sing the next verse, one that hadn’t been sung yet, so no way that I was just mocking the musician.

  I stopped suddenly, shocked myself that I was singing along so effortlessly to the song I couldn’t remember ever hearing before.

  “I don’t know,” I gasped, unable to contain the smile rearing up on my face. I must’ve heard it before, somewhere.

  “That’s great,” he exclaimed, taking the prepared plates from my hands.

  “I don’t remember it,” I sighed, following him to the couch.

  He set our plates on the table and then pulled out two beers from the cooler next to the couch.

  “Maybe music will help jog more of your memory,” he suggested.

  “It couldn’t hurt,” I admitted.

  “Have you remembered anything?” he questioned.

  His voice was filled with concern, and it was obvious it bothered him that I still hadn’t remembered anything. I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.

  That first bite of fish melted in my mouth, the flavors exploding against my tongue.

  “This is amazing,” I gasped, quickly scooping another bite onto my fork.

  Xander smiled proudly while watching me eat.

  I could tell he had a thousand more questions about my memory, but I didn’t have any answers. I’d grown accustomed to being there with him, and after our passionate night together, I quit worrying about what was waiting for me outside this cabin. I felt as though I could stay here forever, happy, content, and never worrying about what life I had before. It couldn’t have been that great, otherwise I’d remember it, right?

  I sucked down my beer, and Xander handed me another. I hadn’t drank much since I’d been there, and after half way through the second, I felt my head get a little light. I didn’t care. I was enjoying myself. The music was still blaring from the other side of the cabin, and every other song I seemed to remember the words, even if I didn’t remember the song.

  I grabbed our empty plates, danced towards the sink, and started cleaning up the meal that Xander had prepared. “I’ll get that. You need to rest,” he insisted.

  “I need to dance,” I laughed, working my hips back and forth in front of the sink.

  He leaned in, pressing against me, and instantly sending chills down my spine with excitement and anticipation.

  “Here,” he said softly in my ear, reaching up to grip the washcloth above me.

  He handed me the cloth, our hands touching gently for a split second, and then backed up, removing his hard body from my backside. I tingled with frustration and want, wishing I had the balls to just turn around and grab him, taking him right there.

  The beer was enough to distract my irritation, and the music on the radio enough to keep me happy and cheerful. I continued to dance around the kitchen area, cleaning everything and placing it back in its spot while Xander helped, but mostly just watched in amazement.

  “Everything’s clean,” he announced, standing stiffly in front of the sink.

  My body wiggled to the beat of the music as I slung the wet cloth over my shoulder. Our eyes met, and I wasn’t willing to let go. I locked onto him, letting my eyes seduce him with their desire as he continued to remain frozen in his spot. What was his deal?

  Chapter Eleven

  Xander

  The music filled the small room of the cabin, and Bailey swayed perfectly to the beat. Her long legs, now bare, pink and fleshy…fuck, they were killing me. Her eyes were locked onto mine, and even though I wanted to pull away from our stare, I was frozen. It was as if she had me in a trance, one that I didn’t mind being entangled in.

  “You need to take it easy on that ankle,” I uttered, clearing my throat as I spoke.

  She giggled. Damn, those pink lips curling into a smile drove me wild. My eyes drifted from hers, finally freed from the lock she had on them, and moved accidentally to her long legs. My t-shirt dropped to her upper thigh, high enough to allow me the sweet view of her curved flesh. I pulled my eyes away, quickly turning to the sink.

  “There are still a few dishes,” she insisted.

  A skillet, one used over the flame, cast iron, and used only to house the food inside the foil. It wasn’t dirty. A glass from my whiskey the night before, and that was it. There wasn’t enough to do in there to excuse her being up on her feet on that bad ankle. If I was ever going to get her off this mountain, she would need her strength, all of it. The mountain wasn’t a forgiving one, even when not covered in slick snow.

  “I’ll get this stuff later,” I insisted, moving towards her cautiously.

  My hands rested on her shoulders, stopping her from her wiggling to the music, and causing her to lock onto my eyes once again. They were so green, so pure, so trusting. I was an ass for taking advantage of her the way I had. I’d beat myself up all week over that night. I knew better. She was helpless, trusting me to care for her, and she didn’t even remember her own name. What had I been thinking? N
ot again. I swore I’d never do that again.

  She stood there, her big green eyes batting in my direction, her lips full and pouty, and her nipples hardening beneath the cotton of my t-shirt she wore. Damn, she was beautiful. Maybe once she regained her strength, and her memory, maybe then I’d kiss that mouth again. Hell, she probably had someone who loved her already, someone who was devastated about her being lost. It was doubtful a girl like Bailey didn’t have someone looking for her, wanting nothing more than to hold her in their arms again. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing her, but keeping her here like this, taking advantage of her vulnerable state, that wasn’t my style. She deserved better.

  “I’m gonna get more wood ready before the next storm hits,” I choked out as my throat started to close.

  She looked disappointed, but still relentless with her seductive eyes and lips. Fuck!

  “Want some help?” she asked sweetly, her hand resting on her hip as it cocked outward. Damn, those curves. My cock was twitching against the denim of my jeans, begging for release, for satisfaction. I needed some air.

  “No, you’re hardly dressed for chopping wood,” I chuckled.

  Her tight nipples pushed against the thin material of the shirt as her lips parted to release a sweet sigh. I watched her eyes roll, and then the sweetest laugh fell from her lips. Yeah, I need air, and fast!

  “You stay here, warm up,” I teased, allowing my eyes to move to her breasts.

  She quickly wrapped her arms around her chest, hugging herself, and hiding the hardened nipples from my view as she blushed. Her cheeks turned the sweetest pink, reminding me of the flash between her legs. I quickly turned away from her before my erection was noticed, and grabbed my coat and gloves by the door. I walked outside without looking back, before finishing the last button on my coat, or even putting on my gloves. The cold air was violent, but welcoming as it calmed my cock and cleared my mind.

  I pulled on my hat, slid on my gloves, and grabbed the axe. I’d split plenty of wood to last a few days earlier that morning, but it was an excuse to get away from her, so I took it.