Lois Greiman

by My Desperado

  Or was it the fact that love would not keep Travis safe that worried her? In fact, love was more likely to destroy him, for he was determined to kill the men that threatened her safety. Just as he was determined to clear her name.

  She knew him. She knew his intent. And she knew she must do something about it before it was too late.

  Kat tried to sleep, but the memory of Travis’s voice haunted her. He loved her. She sat up, hugging her knees and gazing into the darkness. He saw himself as evil, and would not allow himself to touch her again. She knew that, too.

  But she was not so strong. She was terrified—terrified of being rejected, but more frightened of being alone.

  Katherine was on her feet before she had time to think rationally. He loved her. She loved him, and there was no way of knowing how long they would have together. Surely wasting an opportunity for happiness was a greater sin than any her father had warned her against.

  The camp fire had burned down to glowing embers. From somewhere in the darkness harmonica music rose up in a sorrowful tune.

  Katherine moved on, her feet bare and silent, her heart hammering against her ribs. Never in all her life, had she imagined she would find herself sneaking through the night to seduce a man who would surely ward off her advances.

  Voices drifted to her finally. They were low and male, and rose and fell with the conversation.

  “Damn it! You think I don’t know what she is?” It was Travis’s voice, harsh, but quiet.

  “I think you have no idea what she is, Ryland. You keep selling her short.”

  “I won’t let her die.”

  “Playing God again?”

  “I’ve never hit you, Blackfeather, but it’s not too late to start.”

  “She’s not learning to shoot to defend herself. She’s learning so she can defend you.”

  “She promised she’d stay at the ranch.”

  “It could be you’re more important to her than a lie,” Cody suggested.

  Katherine could see them now. They stood watching each other in the moon-shadowed night, their faces almost invisible beneath their hat brims.

  “I’ll lock her up,” said Travis flatly.

  “At Latigo’s?” Cody snorted, issuing a sound that was as close to a laugh as Kat had ever heard from him. “And we’ll slip her meals under the door. Maybe Finch can stand guard. If she cries, we’ll just shove a sock in her mouth.”

  “Shut the hell up!”

  “It’s a good plan, Rye. Make men out of all the lot of them. You know how soft they are. Then when you’re killed, we’ll just tell her it was for her own good. She’s a smart girl. She’ll understand.”

  “What do you want me to do?” Travis took two stiff steps forward, so that he stood only inches from Blackfeather, his hands closed to fists at his sides. “Send her back to Silver Ridge? Let her tell them she’s innocent? Who could doubt such a pretty face? Maybe they won’t kill her right off.”

  “She’s not a child, Rye. Let her decide.”

  “No!” The single word was sharp, but still low. “She’ll stay with Lat if I have to tie her to the bed.”

  “The bed?” Cody’s tone was curious.

  “Believe me, it works,” said Travis dryly,

  Katherine could feel herself blush.

  “Can we turn her loose after you’re dead?” Cody asked evenly. “Maybe she’ll fall in love with one of the boys at the ranch. Give Lat those grandchildren he always wanted. Of course, it won’t be the same as if they were yours. But just say the word now, and I’ll make sure they inherit your share of the property. Wouldn’t want there to be any misunderstandings,” he continued, but Katherine was already slipping away.

  All along she’d thought she was fooling them. Thought they believed she was only worried about her own safety. She’d even promised to stay safely at Latigo’s. It was unkind of them to doubt her word. She should be offended.

  She’d have to leave before they reached the ranch and find Delias before Travis did. Jacob said the outlaw was headed back to town. But what town? Silver Ridge? New Prospect? And even if she could find her way there, how would she find Delias? One didn’t simply ask around regarding the whereabouts of known killers.

  She needed time to think, to plan. How long until they reached Latigo’s ranch. Two days? Three? There was no telling.

  Hearing a slight rustle behind her, Katherine hurried back to her bedroll. Some yards off to her right Shadow followed on a parallel course, finally settling into a crouched position when Kat rolled into her blankets and feigned sleep.

  Moments later Travis reached her, his movements making no more than a whisper of sound. Although she refused to open her eyes, Kat knew it was him. No one else made her heart palpitate and made her breathing escalate. No one else made her hot and cold and angry and overjoyed.

  No one but Travis Ryland.

  He remained as he was, motionless and silent. She wondered if he was looking at her, and what he was thinking. But she dared not open her eyes lest he somehow see the truth in them and realize she’d heard his conversation with Cody.

  Finally, when Kat felt she could not bear his gaze any longer, he moved away. She opened her eyes, knowing he would again leave camp to search for trouble and praying God would keep him safe until morning.

  Travis was sitting before the fire when Kat made her way there shortly after dawn. She said little during breakfast. It had occurred to her during the night that every man present probably knew of Travis’s plans to keep her, against her will if necessary, at Latigo’s ranch. That thought, along with lack of sleep and the fact that she had only one remaining chocolate, made her feel grouchy and out of sorts. As she watched the men she reviewed her plans. She would not fail.

  Shifting her gaze to the fire, Kat took a sip of coffee, barely tasting the bitter black liquid as her mind scurried over facts. She’d awakened to find Shadow’s head resting on her feet, a new and encouraging sign of affection she thought. Affection she planned to use. Reaching down, Kat gently stroked the dog’s nose, which was flat on the ground, just poking out from behind her right hip.

  There were so many potential problems. So many elements to fall into place in order for her plan to work. Kat lifted her gaze from the fire and found it nabbed, hard and fast, by Travis’s solemn eyes.

  “You all right?” His voice was low and somehow managed to send little motes of emotion fluttering in her belly.

  “Yes.” She mustn’t let him guess her thoughts Kat realized, and held her gaze steady on his for what she hoped was the perfect amount of time before dropping it back to the entrancing flame. “I’m fine.”

  He still watched her. She could feel his gaze on her face and felt more warmed by it than by the nearby cookfire. “We should reach the ranch within three days’ time.”

  “Good.” She did not look at him when she said it or try to sound happy about the prospect of reaching their destination, for he knew her feelings.

  Travis was silent for a moment, allowing Kat to hear the quiet, melodious voices of the cowboys who bantered not far away.

  “You want to continue your lessons?”

  “Yes.” She lifted her gaze again, feeling suddenly like she might cry, and knowing she must get a firm grip on her emotions or have him suspect her plans. She drew a deep breath, settling her right hand back on the coffee mug and feeling Shadow wriggle a bit closer to her back, as if he might become invisible if he hugged her tightly enough. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

  She knew immediately it was the wrong thing to say.

  “What’s that?” His brows arched over his azure eyes.

  Sweet heavens! She was no actress, she thought frantically, but kept her mouth shut against the sputtering explanations that tried to escape. She shrugged and lowered her eyes, though her heart was pattering a hard pace against her ribs. “I know you think it’s ridiculous for me to try to learn to shoot.” She sighed. “And perhaps you’re right.”

  He w
atched her in silence, until she could not keep her eyes from his a moment longer.

  “You’re a hell of a woman, Katherine Simmons!”

  Nothing he could have said would have surprised her more. His expression was very sober, and in his eyes was a mirror reflection of the love she held for him.

  Let me go with you, she almost pleaded. Let me fight at your side. And if we die, we die together.

  But in the flutter of a moment he had conquered his weakness. His expression went blank and hard, and he rose rapidly to his feet. “Let’s go if you’re determined.”

  It took Katherine longer to break the spell, and when she did, she felt as if her heart would shatter as well.

  It was near dark when Travis suggested they catch up to the herd.

  Katherine nodded, holstering her gun and refusing to look at him.

  Instead of her usual target practice, he had found the hoofprints of deer and insisted they track the animal and that Kat shoot a buck.

  She had wanted to object, but one look at his face had made her realize he expected nothing else.

  In actuality, it had been Shadow that tracked the deer, following the animal’s path like a scrawny red wolf on a scent. They had come upon their prey in a clearing, with the sun behind them and the breeze in their faces.

  Three deer lifted their delicate muzzles to test the wind, and for an instant the beauty of the scene had held Kat transfixed.

  “Shoot,” Travis had ordered, placing the gun in her hand; and in that moment Shadow charged toward the deer.

  “Shoot,” Ryland ordered again. Without another thought, Katherine pulled the trigger and watched the buck fall.

  The gun had simply appeared in her hand.

  Taking a deep breath now, Katherine shifted her gaze to the buck that lay nearby. Never in her life had she killed anything larger than a beetle. It had been a beautiful beast, with velvety antlers and huge round eyes. Now it was dead, lying on its side in a valley, with the cloud-speckled sky reflected in the lake where it would have once drunk.

  Katherine swallowed, wanting to cry and refusing to let herself. She would wait until nightfall, confiscate the wagon, and blubber her head off she decided.

  “You didn’t think I could do it, did you?” she asked, turning to him. The sun was falling toward darkness, and framed him in its fading light.

  Travis kept his gaze on the north and scowled. “I told you never to face the sun. It’ll blind you.”

  “Damn the sun!”

  Travis turned, his brows raised, but he was no more surprised than Kat.

  “We need to expand your vocabulary.”

  Katherine felt her face flush but refused to lower her eyes from his. “I’ve never seen anyone run as scared as you do.”

  He said nothing for a moment, but watched her until he finally bent to retrieve his saddlebags from the ground. “I never said I was a hero, lady.”

  Two long strides brought her up behind him. She gripped his arm suddenly, holding on tight and pulling him around to face her.

  “I know you love me,” she said evenly, feeling an aching desperation to hear the words again, to have them said to her face, to touch him. Katherine’s stomach clenched into a hard knot.

  “There’s a hell of a difference between lust and love, lady. It’s time you learned that.”

  She stepped back, feeling as if she’d been slapped. Her throat hurt, and her body felt stiff, but she managed to turn. Clenching her jaw, she breathed through her teeth, refusing to cry and hurrying away.

  “Where are you going?”

  Travis’s voice was low but carried easily to her. She ignored it, lengthening her strides and setting her sight’s on the lake.

  “Where’re you going?” he asked again.

  She hurried on, but in a moment he was behind her, grasping her arm.

  Katherine swung about of her own accord. “I’m going to bathe,” she shouted. “Is that all right with you? And look…” She straightened and hurried her hands to her borrowed gun belt. “I’m leaving the revolver.” She did just that, releasing it from her leg and her waist to let it bump harmlessly to the ground. “I’ll be completely unarmed. Helpless.” The smile that parted her lips was forced and stiff, she knew, and she took some satisfaction in the glare he directed at her. “So if I get killed, it’ll be your fault. On your conscience.” The smile smoothed, and her body relaxed a bit. “Forever.” She turned easily and strode away.

  “Goddamn it, woman!”

  She smiled as she unbuttoned her shirt. The air felt warm and titillating against her bare shoulders. “Want to come…and lust?” she called out.

  But her only answer was Travis’s groan from behind.

  Chapter 29

  Picking up Kat’s discarded gun belt, Travis swore and paced after her. But her back was now entirely bare, which could only mean her front was the same.

  He gripped the leather in his hands and gritted his teeth. In three days’ time he would be leaving her—forever. And he would not confuse her life further by touching her again.

  He jerked his gaze abruptly toward the west, where the sun had just sunk below the uppermost peaks. The remaining light was no longer bright, but had faded to a rosy blush that painted the world for a few minutes of glory before nightfall.

  Travis swore again then swung his gaze back to Katherine’s retreating back, which was smooth-skinned and curved down to her waist. Below that her jeans were still blessedly in place, but they swayed dramatically with her rapid hike through the coarse grass as she neared the lake.

  His grip on the gun belt tightened even more. He would not be tempted by her this time. He would stay where he was, watch for trouble, and keep his eyes averted.

  He resolve lasted for nearly five minutes, and then he was at the water’s edge, still holding her weapon tight in his hands and trying to breathe with some semblance of normalcy.

  But she was naked, and though her back was turned toward him, she stood only thigh-deep in the water.

  Travis shifted his gaze to Soldier and did his best to forget the pale, curving slopes of her buttocks above the surface of the lake. “It’s time to get back to camp,” he said, his tone strained.

  “What?”

  He knew immediately that it had been a mistake to speak, for with some kind of sharpened sixth sense he realized she had turned to face him.

  Soldier blurred in his vision, but Travis kept his eyes on the stallion. “Time to get back.”

  “I take this to mean you have no desire to bathe.”

  Her words shot fire through his system, causing his blood to boil through his veins like water into a thermal pond. Nevertheless, he took a deep breath and remained motionless. “Don’t go looking for trouble, lady.”

  “Trouble?” Her laughter was like liquid silver. “Isn’t it time to stop running, Ryland?”

  “Get the hell outta there, and get your…” An image burned across Travis’s mind. An image of her bare buttocks perched upon Moondancer’s back, her mile-long legs gripping the mare’s black hide. “Get on your horse,” he rasped.

  “But I’m not dressed.”

  “I know you’re not—” He swung about. His gaze slammed into her. “Katherine.” He could do not more than breathe her name, for her breasts were full and high, painted a rosy hue by the sinking sun.

  Her waist was small, and accented by her tiny navel at its center. It was that indentation that held his vision, for he could not, for some reason, dispel the idea of slipping his tongue into that narrow hole, of feeling her body jump beneath him.

  “I’m no good for you, Kat. I’m leaving soon. You’ll be free. Go back to Boston. Marriage. Children.” He was babbling incoherently, he realized, but feared if he stopped speaking, he would act. At this moment in time there was only one action worth doing. “Get dressed before—”

  “If it were simple lust, Ryland,” she interrupted softly, “you would have no reason to hold back. But if it was love…” She moved toward him as
if the current carried her forward, like a fairytale mermaid Rachel had once told him about, with her skin slick and gleaming and her sable hair glossy with droplets of water. A thigh slipped above the surface, showing pale and smooth in the evening light. “If it was love, you’d run like hell.”

  He stepped back involuntarily. “I don’t know nothing about love, lady. Don’t you think I do.”

  “You lie, Travis. But not very well.”

  He tried to back farther away, but his legs refused to move, for his legs were attached to other parts of his anatomy that demanded satisfaction from their burning frustration.

  “I can’t give you what you deserve.”

  “Have I asked for anything?” She stopped. Water dripped from the dark triangle of hair between her legs, running in tiny rivulets down her thighs to merge into the lake below.

  “You deserve—”

  “I deserve to have the man I…” She stopped abruptly, not wanting to scare him away with her admission of love, and drew a heavy breath, her gaze not leaving his. “The man I want.”

  She was moving again, barely causing a ripple in the water as she glided toward him.

  “You don’t know what you’re doing,” he said hoarsely. Now would be a good time to saddle Soldier and head out, he thought, but his feet had become rooted to the ground.

  “You don’t give me much credit, Travis,” Katherine murmured. She was close now, only a couple feet away. “I’d like to think I learn fairly quickly. I know what you are,” she whispered. “I’m not asking for more than you can give. Just this one time.” She shrugged, looking suddenly very innocent and small. “Life’s too short, Travis. Too uncertain to waste the good that comes along.” She reached slowly, touching his rough cheek with her fingertips.

  Against his will, Travis’s eyes fell closed. Raising one hand, he crushed her fingers to his face, feeling the aching burn of her tenderness against his flesh. “You’ll regret this,” he rasped.

  “No,” she said, and he opened his eyes to watch her shake her head and smile. “I won’t.”