Stay

by Mulholland, S.

  I dig my head in the pillow again and groan in annoyance.

  Going to a party is the last thing I want to do. There’s nothing there for me.

  I don’t want to meet new people and I definitely don’t want to meet any girls. Not here. I can’t.

  No one here can know anything about me so going to these things is pointless.

  I’m also not a huge party go-er like the rest of my roommates because I hate having these random richy-rich girls all over me.

  They don’t even know me and I don’t need the drama any of them bring to the table. I have more than enough shit to last me a lifetime.

  I know most men would appreciate the attention but not me.

  Don’t get me wrong, I have needs and I get them taken care of, with girls from back home in Cary.

  There’s a mutual understanding where they know I don’t want to have anything to do with them and vice-versa. It’s just sex, that’s all, it’s simple, no fuss, no drama, no attachments--nothing, just the way I like it. Just cold and empty encounters. That’s the only kind of attention I can handle right now. That dream, though, felt different. Like all the emotions I don’t currently have, I had with her.

  “Come on, dude, don’t be a Debbie. Let’s all just go find some ass and you can forget about your little or should I say big “wet” problem,” he says laughing when he adds air quotes to the word wet. Douche, who even does air quotes anymore?

  His stupidity takes me out of the depressing thoughts I was going into.

  I roll my eyes before giving in, “All right…all right, I’ll meet you guys there. I’ll just hop in the shower quick and get ready. I’ll be right behind you guys.”

  I move to get up from my position safely, now that I’m no longer sporting a hard on.

  Ryan starts walking away towards our bedroom door. “Fine, dude, just make sure you show up this time and don’t leave us hanging like the other times. You need to get laid tonight” he states matter of factly.

  Tell me about it. But I refuse to let him know that. “I said I’ll be there, so I’ll be there,” I assure him.

  He doesn’t turn back for a response. He just keeps walking out of the room.

  I get up and close the door after him so that I can have some privacy to recollect my thoughts after that dream that felt more like it should be my reality instead of the nightmare I’m currently living.

  I bang my forehead on the closed door and sigh heavily at the reminder that my life sucks.

  I shake the sad thoughts out of my head before pulling myself away from the door.

  Standing there looking at the door, I take a deep breath before opening it again and deciding to get ready for a party I don’t want to go to.

  It’s the only way to get them off my dick about not bringing a girl back to our dorm room to “bang” in their words.

  I know that appeasing my roommates means I’ll be able to maintain some kind of privacy or space every once in a while.

  It’s at least an hour before I’m ready to head out.

  I decided to take my sweet ass time so that they don’t blow their shit when I say I’m tired and that I need to get up for class early, in order to bolt as soon as I get there.

  They will all already be too drunk to care anyway.

  I stand in front of the full length mirror behind our door to look at myself.

  Plain white t-shirt, jeans, and Chucks. Not very original but I don’t really care for the little parties that go on here.

  But let’s be honest, I love to party, just not at the smallest fucking College I’ve ever seen. In fact, I’m pretty sure St. Norbert College doesn’t even have five thousand students.

  I shrug as I mentally remind myself why I’m here. You needed to get away…this was the furthest you could get without fully abandoning your family.

  “Fuck! I’m not gonna start thinking about this shit right now…I gotta get the fuck outta here,” I chastise myself before opening the door and heading out of this huge ass apartment-type dorm that I fucking hate.

  Luckily, all my roommates are gone so no one hears me talking to myself. Man, I am fucking insane. First that fucking dream and now I’m talking to myself. Fucking great.

  I knew that living with eight guys would suck ass, especially when they all belong to a Fraternity or play Basketball.

  There are always “functions” that they drag me to. I’m not sure if it’s because they feel sorry for me or just because I’m their roommate. Either way, I don’t care, I’m just here to get my degree and help my family out of the mess we are in. Two more fucking years!

  I slam the front door, now that I’m pissed off, with as much force as possible because I have nothing else to take my aggression out on at the moment and make my way out of the building and into the cool October air in De Pere, Wisconsin. Who the fuck knew this place existed?

  Acknowledgements

  So check it (again)…first and foremost, I want to thank my husband for pushing me to go through this whole experience. His encouragement for me to get out there is what got me here. He was my very first fan! This story wouldn’t have seen the light of day without his confidence in me. Love you, Babes!

  My kiddies… (who can’t read this now—but probably will someday when they are older, even though, I don’t want them to) you both have made me a better person without even knowing it! I thank you, for putting up with my mood swings and my MIA status when I’m writing. You guys are the best thing that ever happened to me.

  Amanda Hootie Clark from Globug and Hootie Need a Book…what can I say? You’re the bomb. You were my first (that’s what she said). LOL. I love you to pieces for giving me the confidence and boost that I needed. I wouldn’t have kept going if it weren’t for your enthusiasm about this story! I thank you for your confidence in me and my characters. I’ll never forget that.

  Lila Felix, your books are legit. Especially, The Love and Skate Series. You’re an awesome author! Thank you for the support and advice that you gave me through this whole process. Your guidance is what led me to publishing this story. I’m glad I had you to turn to when I was stuck—you’re the best and I wish you the best of luck in your career!!

  A shout out to J. Sterling—Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I wouldn’t have been able to see things differently if it wasn’t for you. I wish you nothing but the best in your writing.

  Lots of love to the girls from my “group”. You guys are the best and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for picking me up when I was down. I also thank you for giving me a break whenever I needed one. Laughter is the best medicine and I’m grateful to all of you for providing that for me. Love you, girlies!

  Last but not least, thank you to all the bloggers that are going to do reviews or have been my Beta readers, for your help in promoting Stay. Especially, Kimmi from LipSmackingGoodBooks and Chris from Chris’ Book Blog Emporium—you guys are the best! Thank you for letting me bounce ideas off of you and showing me your Jason’s and Alexandra’s (I secretly cried when you guys did that…it was surreal to me that you guys enjoyed my book so much)!! You were both my best cheerleaders and for that I’ll always be grateful.

  About the Author

  S. Mulholland hates talking about herself in the third person so she will stop doing that…right…now. I live in Tennessee with my very patient and laid back husband. I am a stay at home mumsie to our two kids. I love them all to pieces…they’re the only ones that put up with my madness day in and day out.

  Writing started as a hobby for me, now, I’m obsessed. I love to write about things that I know—so yes, this book is loosely based on true events in my life or those close to me. I won’t divulge which ones actually happened because that would be a bummer! Gotta keep you guessing…that…and there’s no way I won’t blush like Rose Nylund when the ice cream man flirted with her in an “obscene” way... when admitting them.

  I am currently in the process of writing Jason’s story. I thought he needed a novel of his
own since there are so many mysteries that you don’t get know about in this book, which is all about Alexandra. I hope to have Never Let Me Go done sooner rather than later!

  How to Contact S. Mulholland

  msuly86@gmail.com

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