The Bitter End

by Rue Volley

  “See, there she is. The Beth I know.”

  I leaned up and stared at him.

  “If I was the Beth you knew, you would not be here with me.”

  Ryan smiled and placed his glass down and then reached under the table as I sucked in my breath and felt his fingers slip my panties aside and he fingered my clit. The waiter returned and set my glass down as the ice shifted in the glass and I reached for it, my hand shaking slightly and Ryan continued to finger me with all intention of making me come. The waiter started to step away and Ryan stopped him as I tried to adjust myself and Ryan reached over and slid me closer to him, shoving two fingers into me and I tried to remain calm but it was hard, very hard and I tried to not make contact with the waiter.

  “So…how long have you worked here?” Ryan asked him as I felt waves of pleasure starting to build in my thighs and abdomen.

  “Three years.”

  “Pay well?” Ryan asked as he fingered me without missing a beat and the waiter looked at me.

  “Are you okay?” he asked me and I nodded and Ryan smiled at him.

  “Lightweight with the liquor,” he said and I took a stuttered breath.

  “I just brought her…” the waiter mused.

  Ryan leaned up and I moaned slightly as he shoved his fingers deeper into me.

  “She has been sipping on mine,” he said quietly and the waiter smiled.

  “What if I told you that I you could make $500 right now?” Ryan said in a half whisper and the waiter stared him down.

  “For what?” he asked and Ryan waved him to him and whispered into his ear. The waiter stood up half laughing and Ryan raised his eyes and then glanced at me as I was breathing harder.

  “Seriously?” he asked and Ryan nodded.

  “Make it $1000,” he said and the waiter lowered and crawled under the private table we had in the back and disappeared under the long red cloth. Ryan pulled his fingers from me as the waiter placed his tongue to my clit and unzipped Ryan’s pants. He started to stroke Ryan as he licked at my clit and Ryan held my face and moaned in my mouth as his tongue played with mine. The waiter continued to lick at my clit as it hummed and wanted to bring me to orgasm but he slowed as Ryan made him with a hand pushing his face back. The waiter placed the tip of Ryan’s cock into his mouth and Ryan growled as he stared at me and placed his fingers back at my clit and thumbed it harder and harder. I reached over and stroked Ryan’s cock as the waiter sucked him off and he trembled slightly as the orgasm started to take over his senses. He tilted his head back as I kissed him, cutting off his moan and he fingered me to climax as he came into the waiter’s mouth, making him swallow it all. The waiter had done his job very well and made us both come harder than we had for days and it bothered me that it took a stranger to get us to where we had begun with just each other. It should not be this way and I know it.

  ****

  We sat in the car as we headed back towards the penthouse saying nothing. Ryan played with his phone and I drank as I was becoming accustomed to now. I caught a glimpse of myself in the darkened window and lowered the glass from my lips as I reminded myself of my mother. I glanced at Ryan and could only see his ruthless nature growing as my Father had at one point and it sickened me momentarily until Ryan lowered his phone and grinned.

  “Money,” he whispered and I stared him down.

  “Doing what?” I asked him and he grinned at me.

  “What I do best, Beth.”

  I sighed and looked back out the window as I knew what it could mean, in fact I did know. Ryan is a whore for hire and he may have just agreed to a “job” which makes me uneasy. He had done nothing since he “saved” me from selling my soul to my Father and Miko so I do not think I can allow it now. I just don’t think I am capable of ignoring it.

  “Ryan,” I said and he poured himself a drink.

  “Ryan,” I said a bit louder and he looked at me.

  “Don’t,” I said to him and he relaxed in his seat and watched me closely.

  “Don’t what, Beth?” he asked me and I sighed.

  “Work…whatever you call it.”

  Ryan tapped on the window and then lowered it as the driver looked in his rearview.

  “Stop the car,” Ryan said and the driver pulled over as I adjusted in my seat and Ryan stared at me. He then leaned up into my face and popped my door open behind me.

  “Get out,” he whispered to me and I looked behind me and smiled.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Out, step out of the car, Beth,” he said and I laughed but quickly stopped as he leaned back and got that look on his face that told me he was serious and couldn’t give two shits less what I thought.

  “Ryan,” I said and he glanced at the door.

  “I can put you out,” he said as he reached up to lower the window to the driver. I shook my head and then stepped out as he slid over and looked up at me.

  “Beth, look around you.”

  I sighed and looked up the street and then down. We were obviously not on our side of town.

  “How much do you think your pussy would sell for here, Beth?”

  I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms on my chest.

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  Ryan lowered the window separating him and the driver.

  “Honk the horn.”

  The driver hesitated. “Fucking honk it!” Ryan yelled and the driver honked the horn for a good 10 seconds and then Ryan stood up through the skylight.

  “Pussy for sale! High class pussy right here!”

  I looked up at him and yelled.

  “Fucking stop!”

  He looked down at me as a few people stepped out of buildings and I felt uncomfortable.

  “This is not fucking funny, Ryan.”

  Ryan lowered and slid out of the car and was in my face before I knew it or could blink.

  “Look around Beth, this is the future if you fuck this up. Right now the only thing you have to do is shut up and get in the car. Otherwise the “work” is going to be you…right here, selling your fucking high class snatch to guys with bad teeth for $20.00.”

  I looked around and sighed and then looked back at him.

  “I can find a job.”

  Ryan laughed and stepped back into the car, he held his hand out to me and I ignored it as I slid in and slammed the door closed.

  “Beth, I deal in pleasure. Whether it is company or sliding my dick into some rich bitch’s ass. That is what I do, you knew it when you met me and seeing that we are running out of fucking money someone needs to work and pay the bills. You know the penthouse, the staff…it is all fucking gone if things do not change now…right now,” he said to me and I started to cry as he watched me closely.

  “Beth, would it feel better if I said that I love you?” he whispered and I wiped my face and lowered the window between us.

  “I need to see my father, now,” I said and I sat back as Ryan sat there with his mouth open with nothing else to say. It shocked him as much as it shocked me.

  Chapter Ten

  Rome

  I sat at the gate and tapped my heel as Ryan sat in shock. He then finally spoke after riding for 35 minutes. I turned to him as his words seemed empty and a bit foreign and he repeated himself.

  “Beth, this is, we cannot do this,” he said and I smiled at him.

  “You don’t have to do anything; this is me doing what I have to do for us.”

  “I just.”

  I hit the seat and he stopped talking.

  “Do you get it, Ryan? I fucking love you. There, you happy now?”

  “Am I supposed to be happy you brought us to the fucking devil himself?”

  I laughed as the gate opened and we pulled through nice and slow, heading for Satan.

  “Please, we are all demons, just of different degrees. Besides, I need to say hello to my brothers…you know the twins.”

  Ryan rubbed his neck and I watched him adjust in the seat a bit as I watched the trees pass
by. This lane had always looked so beautiful in the Fall when the leaves were changing, but then it would be a perfect setting for a horror movie when they all died and flew away. The house set off in the distance at the end and my stomach was doing as it normally did every single time I had come here. I could feel the life leaving me, as if something was feeding on my energy and not willing to give it back. It is this place, built on deception and a distorted ideal of love. I hate it here and yet this is home, always had been. How funny it reminds me of Ryan so much it pains me.

  We stopped in the half circle and I let myself out as Ryan reached for me. I looked back wanting to ask him to come with me but knowing if he did it would not be easier, just harder and giving my Father another target. He truly hates Ryan now, as if he did not before. I mean prior to his/their arrangement, I am sure that Ryan was just a blip on the radar as far as my Father was concerned but now he was a focal point for my Father’s rage against me and he had made that very clear when he disowned me. He would have taken my last name too if it was allowed and I am sure he is looking into it. I know him too well as I know myself most days.

  The gardener stopped me as I walked up the steps and looked around. This house was as it always had been, built of cold stone and mortar. The steps beneath me were hard too. I had found that out when I fell down them playing once when I was little and I lay there bleeding from the mouth as my Father stepped over me and let the nanny pick me up. I touched my lip and felt the small scar from it and then looked at the gardener.

  “Is he home?” I asked him and he looked back at the house and then to me.

  “Miss Beth, I would advise against it.”

  “As would I,” I said as I passed him by and walked to the large doors. I looked up and saw the demon with his tongue hanging out above the door. It had scared me as a child until Mother made up a story for me that Father had sat for the likeness of it when it was made which made me giggle. I always thought it was funny that she chose a demon to represent him, as a child I thought it was her being humorous, now I know it was a warning she was leaving behind for me to understand. He would always be a fucking demon for me, alive or dead, and I knew it more now than ever.

  The maid opened the door up and smiled at me quickly but it faded as Miko stood on the large steps behind her, steps that always reminded me of a museum and this house is just that, a museum full of collected things by him, trophies and nothing more. I guess I was not good enough to remain among them even before I truly turned on him. I sighed as Miko called out to the maid.

  “Let her in.”

  I stepped in as the maid held her hands out and I removed my coat and handed it to her. I adjusted my hair and my skirt as Miko walked down the steps slowly as if she was savoring her claim to this place. She does own it now and him. She has won everything with one incision and two boys who now held the keys to everything.

  She stopped about 10 feet from me and looked me over. I waited for some venomous shit to spill out of her but none came, just a stare that could wake a dead man. I cleared my throat and it echoed a bit as I looked up at the chandelier I always dreamed of swinging on as a child and never did.

  “Do you not eat anymore?” she asked me and I looked down at her and smiled.

  “I eat, as much as I always have.”

  “You were always a bit picky, too bad it did not carry over to choices in lovers.”

  There it was. Finally a good kick in the teeth by her that told me she was exactly as she had been, a snake and very poisonous.

  “Well, we all make out choices and then have to live with them.”

  She grinned and looked me over.

  “That we do. So why are you here?” she asked and I adjusted my weight from one heel to the other.

  “I came to see Father.”

  She laughed and it echoed in the large entryway. I then noticed her pearls had grown from two strands to 6. Evidently popping out two boys gets you more shit.

  “Nice pearls,” I said as I followed it with a grin that she had seen before. My ‘fuck you whore’ one. She smiled back and if we had knives I am sure we would be on the floor trying to stab each other.

  “Your clothing looks used, second hand shopping now?” she asked me and I stepped towards her as Father entered the room and I stopped and looked at him, so dreading the reason I came now.

  “Beth?” he asked me and I stepped back and straightened my shoulders.

  “She is here to see you,” Miko said and I cleared my throat.

  “I came to see you and to see my brothers,” I said and Miko raised an eyebrow and laughed under her breath.

  “You are looking more like your mother, Beth,” he said and it stabbed at my heart. I had heard him on many occasions tell my mother that she was looking tired and old and I knew he was not complimenting me at all. I decided to take the high road.

  “Thank you,” I said to him, which is not a custom we practice here, the thanking for anything.

  He tilted his head and then I heard them crying and looked up the stairs. Miko ignored it as any “good” mother would.

  “Oh,” I said as I walked past her quickly and she followed me as did Father as I ran up the stairs and then down the long hall until I stopped at my old room and peered in to see they had gutted it and made it into a nursery. How nice of them to do that seeing they have 100 fucking rooms here they could have done it with…but no, they erased me by gutting mine and placing the boys here. How fucking nice of them to do. I am sure it was Miko’s doing, cunt.

  I heard the crying again and my fists clinched as I stepped in and saw two nannies, each holding a bundle of evil. The thought of grabbing them both and running out the large bay window that I was read to as a child in did cross my mind. I mean if I killed all three of us now the world would be rid of the offspring, but knowing Miko she would pop out another fucking litter in a year, four this time instead of two just to collect some more pearls. I stepped up and took a breath as one of the nannies watched me closely. I looked down and saw him, one of my brothers anyway and I found my hatred seeping back into the recesses from which it came. He looked so new and absolutely perfect in every way. I then looked to the other nanny and saw my other brother and he looked just as the one before me did. I reached out and she hesitated before she handed him to me and then I turned with him in my arms feeling something I had never known before. Compassion. He opened his eyes up and I leaned in as I recognized them then I heard Miko’s annoying voice as she walked towards me and took him form me, handing him to the nanny quickly. He started to cry again. I stood there feeling awkward and totally out of place.

  “What are their names?” I asked low at first and then I asked again a bit louder and Miko looked at me and then to Father.

  “Augustus and Casius.”

  I laughed and looked at the two boys.

  “Way to ruin their worlds.”

  “What?” Miko said and I looked at her.

  “Those are really heavy names for babies.”

  “They are Roman, very strong names as they will be.”

  “Rome fell,” I whispered to Miko as I walked past her and out into the hallway. They followed me as Miko decided to be the bitch that she is known to be.

  “I think it is time for you to leave,” Miko said.

  “Cas and Auggi,” I said as I looked at the room.

  “What?” Miko asked me and I looked at her.

  “Nicknames for the boys,” I said and Miko looked at Father.

  “Thomas? Ask her to leave.”

  Father looked at me and then he did what I did not expect him to do.

  “Why don’t we go to my study and talk, Bethany,” he said as he started to walk and Miko looked as if she would be sick. I smiled at her as I looked back and the babies cried in the room. She would be a horrible mother; she already was and for some reason my heart ached for my brothers already, as if I would ever have the chance of knowing them.

  I sat in his study as he lit a cigar and puffed on
it. The smell of it was thick and would choke me if I hadn’t become accustomed to it when I was little. He always had a cigar or pipe and I found it addictive like incense or expensive oil. I had actually purchased pipe tobacco at one point in my life and left it open in my penthouse to simulate the smell of it but the nostalgic feel of it pissed me off and I stopped torturing myself. You can try your best to mimic memories or feelings of safety, but you will never truly have them unless you are happy. I think my happiness died when I was 8 and I caught him fucking a maid in this very room when I woke from a nightmare and needed someone to console me. He had seen me, so had she, and she disappeared from the staff the next day but her stench remained and my Father never looked the same to me again.

  “You confuse me, not unlike your mother did.”

  I pulled from my memories of the maid bent over the large desk before me and blinked a couple of times.

  “Well then it should make you feel like old times,” I said as I leaned back and decided to just be me and not pretend that I have no anger in me.

  “There is that venomous anger,” he said as he puffed on his cigar and I watched the thick smoke rise into the air.

  “I guess once a Bittermend, always a Bittermend,” I said and he smiled at me.

  “That you are, Bethany.”

  I paused and then decided to get to the point.

  “I need money,” I said and he stopped smoking and stared at me. He adjusted in his large chair and placed the cigar in his ivory ashtray which weighed too much to move without two people lifting it. It was a ridiculous trophy as was everything here.

  “I tried to help you, I tried to make an arrangement with you that would have given you the life you wanted.”

  “Well I fucked up,” I said and he looked confused.

  “What is wrong with you?”

  I looked around the room and adjusted on the chair.

  “Nothing, I fucked up. I am sorry.”

  He stood up and placed his hands on the large desk, staring at me closely.

  “Have you been in an accident?”

  “No.”

  “Drugs?”

  I shook my head. “No.”