Shadow Faerie

by Rachel Morgan

  “Pinky peach, she always called it.”

  I try to imagine how she’ll look when the spell is done. “Pinky peach. Sounds like an odd eye color.”

  “Where you’re from, yes,” Zed says. “But I always found her eyes quite pretty.”

  My own eyes are achingly tired. I rub them as I stand and start pacing. Like an impatient child, I keep wanting to ask Zed how long it will be until she wakes up. But I know he doesn’t know. I stop moving, fold my arms, and look across the room at Dash. “You must be exhausted by now.”

  He leans down and lifts the glass bottle, which contains maybe a quarter of the water it contained after Dash’s enlargement spell. “I may have placed a small enchantment on this water. An energizing enchantment.” He holds the bottle out toward me. “Want to try it?”

  “An energizing enchantment? Okay. May as well.” I take the bottle in both hands and tilt it over my mouth. The water that runs over my tongue and down my throat tastes a lot like watermelon. I lower the bottle, and it’s remarkable how quickly I begin to feel less weary. I drink a little more before carrying the bottle to the sideboard. I check the ruby on my wrist and realize that its color is almost full, which tells me it must be around about midnight back in the Unseelie part of the fae world.

  A murmur draws my attention back to Mom. “I think she’s waking up,” Zed says.

  “Crap, crap, crap.” I return to Mom’s side. “This is so weird. I have no idea how to act around her. I don’t know what to say.”

  “Tell me about it,” Zed mutters.

  I kneel down and look into the face of a complete stranger. Her cheekbones are higher, and her lips are thinner. Her hair is almost blonde amidst the strands of peach, and a handful of freckles are sprinkled across her nose. This is my mother. This is the person who chose me. The person who chose the simple life we had together while I was growing up.

  This is the woman who stole someone else’s life, a quieter voice adds. She stole you.

  I shove the voice away. Mom and I may not have come together in the conventional way, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t somehow meant to be. She is my mother and I am her daughter. That’s the only thing that’s ever felt right in my world.

  I reach for her hand and push away the nagging idea that I’m wrong. That maybe nothing has ever felt right in my world.

  With my help, Mom slowly pushes herself up into a sitting position. She looks down at her hands, her eyebrows drawing tightly together. She pulls her hair over her shoulder and examines the blonde and peach strands tangled together. Her gaze lifts—and eventually falls on me. “Emmy,” she whispers, her eyes dancing across my face. She leans forward, pulls me into her arms, and hugs me as tightly as if she’s making up for every hug we’ve missed out on since the day that ambulance took her away. Tears blur my vision as my arms come up to wrap around her. My body begins to shudder as I finally let myself cry properly.

  I don’t want to let go of her, but I guess we shouldn’t stay on the floor of a half-finished castle in this strange world for much longer. There must be a better place for us to continue our reunion. “I’m so sorry about everything I kept from you,” Mom says as we separate. She wipes her thumb across the tears on my cheek and tucks my hair behind my ear. “We have so many things to talk about.”

  “I know. I have so many things to tell you as well.”

  “And now we have the rest of our lives.”

  I nod and smile and try to keep myself from crying more.

  We stand, and she looks around the room. “Zed,” she says. I watch her face closely as it crumples for a moment, unable to figure out whether she’s teetering toward pain or anger. But then her expression smooths into a tentative smile. “You did it. You fixed me.”

  He blinks away the sheen of moisture in his eyes. “I—I didn’t know if you’d want me to.”

  “I know. For a long time, I didn’t. And by the time I regretted my decision and wished I could beg you to change me back, I was already too lost inside my own mind.”

  “So you … you remember it all?” I ask.

  She nods slowly. “I think so. Most of it.” Her eyes fall on Dash. “Do I know you?” she asks. “And where are we?”

  “You don’t know me,” he tells her, “but I’m a friend of Em’s. I assisted in your rescue from the psych hospital. And I’ve been helping out since then.” He gives her one of his charming smiles, but I know him well enough by now to notice a brief wariness in his expression before that smile takes over. “It’s a long story. I’m sure Em can fill you in at some point.” He doesn’t mention he’s a guardian, which is probably best. If Mom spent a large portion of her life hating the Guild, she probably wouldn’t warm up to someone currently employed by them.

  “And this is a new world,” Zed adds. “A different one. A world that came into existence when the veil was torn. Do you remember that?”

  Mom nods as she walks to the window and looks out.

  “The ink-shades—those dark beings out there—aren’t safe,” I tell her. “If we stay here longer, I’ll tell them not to hurt us, but I think we should probably leave soon.”

  She looks over her shoulder at me. “Your Griffin Ability is incredible.”

  “You know about it?”

  “Ada does. Which means I now know about it too.”

  “Is she … talking to you?” I try not to imagine the weirdness of someone else’s voice inside my brain.

  Mom’s expression becomes thoughtful. “Not really. She’s angry with me, I think. Ignoring me. But I’m aware of her memories as if they were mine.”

  “That’s so strange.”

  “Em?” Dash says. “If you don’t need me anymore, I should probably go.”

  “Right. Yes. Of course.”

  “Can we … say goodbye?” He motions with his head toward the door. “Out there?”

  “Uh, sure.” I smile at Mom. “I won’t be long.” After a hesitant glance at Zed, I follow Dash into the hallway. We walk to the end of it and into a large room furnished with nothing more than curtains. Dash faces me. He starts speaking, and at the same time, I say, “Thank you so much for everything.”

  We both stop, and he laughs. “You’re welcome, Em.” He rolls one of the black candles between his palms as his expression turns serious. “Are you sure you can handle things with your mom now? She seems okay, but what if Ada gets out?”

  “I think everything will be fine. We’ve got Zed. He said he’d make sure Ada remained under control until Dani’s strong enough on her own. And my Griffin Ability will help. So yeah, don’t worry about us. I know you must be anxious to get back to your own life.”

  “Me, anxious? Never.”

  I laugh. “Well, anyway, I hope you’re not in too much trouble with the Guild when you get back.”

  He gives me that cocky grin I’ve become familiar with over the years. “It’ll all be fine. The death penalty was brought back especially for Princess Angelica after she tore through the veil, but the next head councilor outlawed it again. The worst I’ll get is a lifetime in the Guild’s special prison reserved for the worst guardian traitors.”

  I blink. “You wouldn’t seriously land in prison for this, would you?”

  “Nah. You know I can charm my way out of anything.”

  I cross my arms over my chest. “Yeah, I see that worked out really well for you with Roarke.”

  “Look, if Roarke were a member of the fairer sex, I could totally have talked my way out of that prison.”

  “Um. I highly doubt that.”

  He chuckles, rolls the candle some more, and looks everywhere except directly at me. I wonder if he plans to finish what he was saying earlier, or if he thinks now isn’t the right time. “Anyway, where will you and your mom go now? I’ll need to know where to find you. You know, just in case you want to hang out some time.”

  “Hang out some time?” I smile. “Yeah, maybe. I’ll check my busy schedule and see if I can fit you in somewhere in the next few ce
nturies. And I’m guessing I don’t need to tell you where I’ll be going, because as long as you’re friends with Violet, you can always find me. I mean, once this is gone.” My fingers rise to the back of my ear and touch the small circle of metal still stuck to my skin.

  “Oh, yeah.” Dash’s hand rises to the same spot behind his ear. “I need to get mine removed too. Someone at the Guild will be able to do it.”

  “That’s good. I’ll have to figure out something else, since visiting the Guild is out of the question for me.”

  His eyes finally settle on mine. “I have a feeling that if you just tell it to remove itself, it will.”

  “Oh. Yes. Why didn’t I think of that?”

  “Uh, all of that—” he gestures over his shoulder with his thumb “—might have been distracting you?”

  “Yep. I think you’re right.”

  “Well, anyway. I’ll see you soon, Em. You should get an amber so we can stay in touch.”

  I nod. “Okay. Yeah. Hopefully life will be so pleasantly boring from now on that we’ll have nothing to talk about.” Except maybe that thing you were about to say before Zed returned to finish the spell.

  “One can only hope.” He takes a few steps back, putting some distance between us, and raises the candle. He hesitates. “Ah, what the hell.” He lowers his hand, walks right up to me, and kisses me. His soft lips move against mine as one hand slides into my hair and the other, still gripping the candle, presses against my back.

  I’m so startled that by the time I realize I’m enjoying it, it’s over. I blink as he takes a step back. “Um …”

  “There.” He grins, then looks down at the ring of green flames that’s mysteriously formed around us. The flames vanish an instant later. “Now we’ll have something to talk about next time I see you,” he says. “And now I can stop torturing myself wondering what it’s like to kiss you. Although …” He rubs the back of his neck. “Now I’m probably going to be tortured wishing I could do it again.” He laughs and shakes his head. “Sorry, this is weird. I’m usually way cooler around—”

  Without giving myself a moment to think about it, I grab a fistful of his shirt, tug him closer, and kiss him again. His lips are parted this time, and his mouth tastes faintly of watermelon. As he tugs me closer, pressing his fingers into my back, shivers of hot and cold race across my skin, and bright light pops beyond my closed eyelids. I’m probably imagining it, but I think something almost … electric zaps across my tongue and lips. I pull away from him, look into his bright eyes, and give myself a moment to catch my breath. “You’re cooler when you stop trying to be cool.”

  He swallows, looking completely ruffled, and I like it way more than the cocky, self-assured Dash. “Right.” He clears his throat. “Okay. We definitely have something to talk about next time I see you.”

  I shrug, feigning indifference. “Maybe. I guess we’ll see.”

  His confident smile returns. He lifts my hand and kisses it, keeping his eyes on mine. “Bye, Emmy. Don’t miss me too much.”

  I shove him playfully away. “Dumbass.”

  “Save me a kiss.” He winks as he steps further back and raises the candle.

  I shut my eyes against the bright white light. When it fades, I open my eyes to an empty room. I wonder if I should regret acting without thinking, but I don’t. A bubble of laughter escapes me. Maybe that kiss meant something big and maybe it didn’t, but so what? Ada’s glass magic is basically gone. Mom is healthy. No one’s trying to lock us up or hurt us or use us, and soon we’ll be hidden far from anyone who might want to do those things. And I got to kiss a hot guy. Twice.

  All of a sudden, life is good.

  Well, except for the part where Roarke wants to tear the veil further open instead of allowing the Guild to close the gap. But I can command him not to before Mom and I leave this world. And if somehow he’s already gone, then the Guild can stop him. Mom and I don’t have to get involved.

  With my joy somewhat dampened, I head back for the room at the base of the tower. “And you’re sure she’s not struggling to get out right now?” Zed asks Mom as I walk in.

  “Yes, I’m sure. I could always tell, remember? I’d get kind of twitchy if I was trying to hold her back and she was trying to get out. Like that night at the Punk and Mouse Face concert, remember? But I’m totally fine now.” She holds both hands out and looks at them. “See, no shaking.”

  A slow smile takes the place of Zed’s anxious expression. “I can’t explain how strange it is to see you like this again. If I try hard enough, I can almost imagine the past seventeen or so years never happened.”

  Mom’s smile is sad. “But they did. And we’ve both changed.”

  “I’m so sorry for everything you went through, Dani.”

  Looking a little confused, she asks, “Were you expecting me to be angry with you?”

  “Yes, of course.” Zed’s brow furrows. “You ended up going crazy because of a spell I cast over you. You should be angry with me.”

  She shakes her head. “I thought you would be angry with me. I was the one who insisted you do the changeling spell. You never wanted to do it. I thought you’d be shouting ‘I told you so!’ right now.”

  “I would never say that to you, Dani.”

  I edge a little further into the room. It feels rude to interrupt them, but, selfishly, I want my own time with Mom now. Noticing me near the doorway, Mom waves me over. “Anyway, Zed,” she says as I reach her side, “I think you and I should probably part ways now.”

  “Oh. I thought—maybe—”

  “Look, our relationship wasn’t healthy. I think you know that. So it probably isn’t wise if you’re around while I’m trying to figure my new life out. Figure our new life out,” she corrects, smiling at me. “It would just confuse things,” she continues, looking at Zed once more. “Don’t you agree?”

  “I do,” he says carefully, his eyes swinging back and forth between Mom and me, “and I’m not asking for the kind of relationship we had before. I’m just worried about you, and I want to help you get back on your feet. There are so many things you don’t know anymore. Our world has changed.”

  “It can’t have changed that much. I’ll figure things out. And if I really am lost, I’ll come find you. Or perhaps catch up with some old friends.”

  He frowns. “You don’t mean …” He pulls his head back slightly. “That group doesn’t exist anymore, Dani.”

  “Not them. I had other friends before I took up with those guardian haters. I had other friends before you, Zed. Things will work out.” She puts an arm around my shoulders. “Em and I will make our way in the world together.”

  I smile at her. I thought she’d wake up from the changeling reversal spell a little confused. Or at least in need of some direction. But she appears fairly certain of her thoughts and feelings. It lifts a weight of responsibility off my shoulders. For so much of my life, I’ve been trying to figure out how I’d take care of Mom one day. I didn’t believe until recently that she’d ever be normal again. And now that she is, it’s incredibly freeing to realize she’s able to take care of herself. And not just herself, but me too, perhaps. She doesn’t look anything like the person I remember, but Zed was right. She’s the same inside. I recognize the way she speaks, and this is the quiet confidence I remember my mother possessing before she began to lose her mind.

  Zed, however, doesn’t seem convinced. “But what if … what if Ada gets out?”

  “Zed, you’ve restored things to the way they were before. She’s the weaker one now. Yes, she might get out on occasion, but it won’t be for long. You remember how things were. She couldn’t remain separate from me if I didn’t want her to.”

  “Yes, I remember. I’m still worried, though. I’m not saying I want what you and I had before. I’m not asking you for anything. Why don’t you just stay with me for a few weeks until we can be certain you’re in control? You’ll be safe at my place.”

  Instead of arguing, Mom turns he
r gaze to me. “Em, what do you think?”

  Surprised to be asked my opinion, I take a few moments to formulate my response. I know Zed isn’t lying. I know he’s only suggesting we stay with him because he’s worried about Mom. But I don’t think he has anything to be concerned about. More importantly, he doesn’t belong in the picture that I—and Mom, it would seem—have of the future. “I appreciate your concern, Zed, but I think Mom and I are fine without you. You’ve righted some of your wrongs, and I think that’s enough.”

  With a weary sigh, he nods. “Okay. I suppose you’ve got your Griffin Ability. If Ada gets out, you can tell her not to hurt you or your mother or anyone else. But you know where to find me if you need help, Dani,” he says to Mom. “Orangebrush Grove. In case you’ve forgotten.” He crosses to the sideboard and picks up a candle. He looks at me. “Orangebrush Grove. Tell the faerie paths, and they’ll take you there. If you ever need help.”

  “Thanks.” I hope I’ll never need his help again, though. Mom and I wouldn’t have needed it in the first place if he hadn’t messed with our lives to begin with. “Oh,” I say, raising my hand to stop him, remembering suddenly that I never asked him the names of my birth parents. But the candle is already lit, and he’s gone in a flash of light.

  “Did you need something?” Mom asks me.

  I turn to face her and realize that everything I need is right here in front of me. “No. It wasn’t important. We’ll probably see him again some time, so I’ll ask him then.”

  “Maybe,” Mom answers. She tilts her head back, lets her eyes slide shut, and breathes in deeply. Then she laughs and focuses on me again. “I can’t wait to spend hours and hours just talking, catching up on everything from the past few years.”

  A wide smile stretches across my face as I watch her. “Where shall we go? We can go anywhere, Mom. Anywhere in any world. Or … do you have a home somewhere? From before?”

  “I did, but …” She turns slowly on the spot, looking around. “Why don’t we stay here? Make this our home.”

  “What? But … this is hardly a home. It’s a half-formed world. A tiny half-formed world. And it isn’t safe.”