The Tome of Bill (Book 6): Half A Prayer

by Gualtieri, Rick

  An Icon, on the other hand, was more than capable of defending a chokepoint like a narrow doorway. That logic, combined with protecting the unborn baby of a woman she was supposedly prophesized to destroy - a factoid I knew was eating her up inside - sealed the deal. I felt a bit bad playing the guilt card, but not nearly as bad as if any of them got hurt because we divided up the teams incorrectly.

  That left me with Gan, the short end of the stick in more ways than one.

  All of that settled, my roommates and I exchanged our customary insults toward one another’s manhood - our way of wishing each other well. Christy then pulled me aside to have a few words.

  When she was finished, she turned and headed back into the room, but not before saying, “May the White Mother watch over you.”

  “I’ll take what I can get.”

  Sheila was the last to enter the former holding cell. We stood there awkwardly facing each other for a moment until I lamely broke the silence. “I should probably get going.”

  “Yeah. Good luck.”

  “You too.”

  I turned to leave, wanting to say more, but not quite finding the words.

  “Oh, and Bill? Stay safe. You still owe me at least one awkward conversation.”

  “Huh?” I spun so fast, you’d have sworn that I was still amped up on Gan’s blood, but it was too late. She was already closing the cell door behind her - no doubt taking up a guard position right inside.

  Fuck! I so hated when women did that. How the hell was I supposed to concentrate on tying my shoes, much less surviving, with that one rolling around in my head?

  “They’ll be okay,” I muttered, forcing myself to turn away again. “They have to be.”

  “Worry not, Dr. Death,” Gan said after we’d turned a corner. “The Shining One is formidable. The only true danger to her are blades sanctified in the ritual of Baal, and most of them currently lie broken on the battlefield.”

  Wait, hadn’t Alex mentioned something similar before mind-blasting Sally? “What are you talking about?”

  “The darkened weapons and shackles that were used to hold the Shining One at bay.”

  “Oh. So what the fuck is a ritual of Baal?”

  “It sanctifies the steel in the blood of the god of heretics.”

  “Wait. How the fuck can there be a god of heretics? By their very definition, heretics don’t worship anyone.”

  “Some of the subtleties of the veil escape even my knowledge.”

  “Fine, the idiosyncrasies of ancient gods aren’t really my concern anyway. Still, I’m not sure I buy it. Those things were pretty useless in battle.”

  “Indeed. The blood is a corrupting influence, making the metal brittle and unreliable. However, that same influence is what allows them to pierce the Shining One’s defenses.”

  “How do you know this?”

  “Any child of our history would know it. My father made sure all of his subjects were learned in our ways.”

  “Wait, James was one of your father’s...err, sirelings, I guess. How come he didn’t know about it?”

  “The Wanderer? He is well aware. He studied from the same ancient scrolls as did I.”

  “Yeah, but Remington...” That made no sense. If James knew how to kill an Icon, then why did he send a group armed with the typical gear vamps used to hunt down other vamps? Was it a mistake? Could he have possibly set them up for failure on purpose? But why?

  Unfortunately, that train of thought was sent hurtling off the tracks and down a canyon as Gan chose that moment to change subjects.

  “You and the Shining One should consider being more direct with one another,” she commented as we walked. “It will make your time together much more pleasant, at least until destiny forces you to kill her and become mine.”

  “Oh, shut up.”

  * * *

  “Your whore is near.”

  One didn’t need Gan’s senses to make that guess. The sound of fighting had been growing steadily louder, echoing through the empty halls from seemingly all directions. That the body count had also been increasing was likewise undeniable. Dead Jahabich, piles of ashes, and the bloody remains of various allied creatures drove the point home. Needless to say, I didn’t envy the poor schmucks whose jobs it would be to clean this place up once this was all over and done with.

  I found myself idly wondering if it would be zombies or some vampire janitors. At least the latter could snack away as they mopped.

  Such thoughts weren’t particularly useful, but it was better than wondering if Sally would even let me help her. The truth was I knew very little about her life prior to me entering it. She always kept things close to the vest, seemingly living in the moment. However, from her various psychotic inclinations - such as opening a faux suicide hotline to draw in victims for our former coven - it wasn’t a stretch to assume she’d been heavily invested in the vampire lifestyle. If she had reverted back to that, I...well, I might need for Gan to punch her out and explain things later when we were all safe.

  Yeah, I was pretty well fucked no matter how you rolled the dice. But as long as she was alive, there was hope. That would have to be good enough. If I could get her to safety...

  But then what?

  How did one undo a compulsion of Alex’s power? Even barring that, what about us? As much as I hated to admit it, Gan had a point. I’d considered Sally a friend even during my early days as one of the undead, her status quickly growing in rank to rival even my roommates. Now, though, I couldn’t shake these other feelings I’d allowed myself to consider.

  Personally, I blamed Robert. If he hadn’t shacked up with Sheila, making her happy and all, then I’d have never opened myself up to other possibilities. The problem now was that once opened, that particular Pandora’s Box - if you will - didn’t seem to want to shut. Goddamn it! Leave it to the fucking accountants to screw shit up for the rest of us.

  We rounded a corner and saw heavy double doors ahead of us. One was melted right off its hinges, little more than smoldering slag. It allowed us to see in to the room beyond where, judging by the sounds, screams, and bodies flying back and forth, a fight was going on.

  “She is in there,” Gan pointed out.

  “Of course she is.” I let out a heavy sigh, dreading this - not so much for Sally, but I had a feeling the first thing I’d hear upon entering would be Alex’s smug voice.

  Oh well, who wanted to live forever anyway?

  I planned to sneak in along the wall and assess the situation before figuring out what to do - whether to fight or grab Sally and run, whatever looked the most likely to succeed.

  That was my plan. Sadly, I didn’t bother to share it with Gan, who seemingly had another strategy in mind. Standing beside me, she let out one of those battle shrieks of hers, hitting a pitch only prepubescent girls and trained opera singers seemed capable of. Rather than melodic, though, it was more like something you’d expect to hear during Ragnarök, right before the Valkyries swooped in and kicked the shit out of you.

  Before I could say a word - not that she would have heard me anyway - she was off, a blur of motion, a tiny little whirlwind of teeth, claws, and crazy.

  Well, I guess there was something to be said about the direct approach.

  * * *

  I followed, trying to keep an eye out in all directions. We appeared to be in a cafeteria, of all places. Though no stern-faced lunch ladies gazed out from behind pots of creamed meatloaf, it was fairly obvious - especially once an industrial-sized oven went flying past me to smash into a Jahabich closing in on my position.

  I glanced to my right and saw one of the Draculas jumping back into the fray, the one Alexander had called Vargas. He seemed to be directing an attack by a contingent of vamps and a handful of creatures made of what looked like living flame. Wisps, if I recalled correctly from my time up in Canada. That explained the melted door.

  Another of the rock monsters charged me and I ducked down, remembering one of my favorite wrestling mo
ves. Once he hit me straight on, I straightened up and launched him over my back, nearly giving myself a hernia in the process. These things were a lot heavier than they looked, and I was currently my weak, pansy-ass normal self.

  No offense to the vamps in the room, but I would need to remedy that if I wanted to survive.

  There was no sign of the other Draculas. Alex had apparently split up his forces to better battle the threat. Wherever he was, I hoped he was getting his fucking skull bashed into paste.

  Bad karma thoroughly shared, I jumped into the fight, looking for my partner. The battle here seemed to be turning toward the side of the vamps. That was a relief - kinda. Unfortunately, no matter which way you looked at things, I was falling short on allies. I couldn’t afford to lose those I had.

  “Freewill!” a vampire shouted, running up to me. “Let us destroy these invaders together.”

  Finally, someone who was on my side. It was nice to see my reputation wasn’t entirely tarnished. I grinned and he returned the gesture.

  I turned away, looking for an enemy to engage, too late registering the obsidian smile flashed back at me. Oh fuck.

  The fist that hit the side of my head was human-sized and shaped, but felt like it was made of rock - probably because it was. I hit the floor and slid across it to land in a heap against one of the serving counters. I shook my head to clear it as the faux vamp charged.

  Crap! Maybe we weren’t winning as handily as I’d thought. Thinking quickly, I reached up for anything I could use as a weapon, desperately hoping not to grab a handful of plastic forks. Instead, I brought down a shower of trays onto my head. Ouch! Make that a shower of those metal mess trays they used in the military.

  Oh well, when in Rome...

  I grabbed hold of a bunch with both hands and swung just as the Jahabich launched himself at me. I hit him in the face with a solid clank, doing little damage but knocking him to the side nevertheless.

  Now it was my turn. I quickly rolled to my feet and threw everything I had at the monster before he could either get up or resume his true form.

  Back in grade school, I’d always been picked last for soccer, and for good reason - I kinda sucked. I still wasn’t in any danger of being recruited by Manchester United, but I did have the freakish strength of the undead backing me up.

  I connected solidly with the fucker’s skull, breaking at least one toe in the process - fuck - but it did the job. The monster went flying and crashed against the wall, landing in a heap.

  I was on the move again before it got back up - mentally chiding myself to keep an eye on their teeth lest I get bamboozled again. Once more and I might not get so lucky.

  All around me, creatures clashed. Some fought silently, others snarled like animals locked in a fight for dominance...

  “Oh, you want a fucking piece of me too?”

  But only one displayed that snark I was so familiar with - Sally!

  Her voice came from deep within the kitchen, so I hopped the counter and went looking for her amongst the stoves, deep fryers, and counters once meant to keep high-ranking muckety-mucks fed while the world burned above them. Wow, this place made my old kitchen nook back in Brooklyn look like...well, exactly what it was - a shit box in comparison.

  A clanking noise caught my attention and I spotted Sally at the far end of the room, near another door. She had one of those rock monsters on the floor and was busy smashing its skull to dust with a length of pipe. It reminded me to be ever so subtle in my approach to her. We were still friends, but she didn’t realize it, and that could lead to an awkward reunion involving such unpleasant things as my head being pulverized.

  Unfortunately, before I could reach her, another of those creatures did. This one tackled her from out of nowhere, its momentum carrying them both through the door.

  No!

  I raced forward, diving over a counter that stood in my way and knocking over an old heat lamp assembly. I guess I wouldn’t be getting fries with that after all.

  Scrambling back to my feet, I heard her cry out, “Get off me, you fucking freak. I’m gonna tear your...what the?”

  “Oh, Lucinda, my dear. You have the most intoxicating way with words.”

  “Mark?”

  Oh shit.

  Quit Yer Bitchin and Get in the Kitchen

  Coincidence is a bitch, although a part of me knew that had nothing to do with it. Those things were after Ed. The easiest way to find him was to find one of his friends...a prospective girlfriend being a good choice, although I tried to push that little detail from my mind. Talk about complicating matters. Comparatively speaking, fighting was so much easier.

  Now all I had to do was hope Sally remembered this guy was plotting to make her his goo-slave, jump in, kill the asshole, and hope she didn’t bash my skull in as way of thanks.

  Piece of cake. Yep, that’s what I kept telling myself in the hope that I’d eventually believe it.

  I reached the doorway and flattened myself against the wall next to it.

  “How are you alive?”

  “You didn’t really think your little cave-in would stop us, did you?”

  “Cave-in? What are you talking about?”

  “The one you and your Freewill friend caused.”

  “I don’t know what friend you’re referring to, but I just met the creep.”

  Creep? What a bitch!

  “If you’re trying to fool me...”

  “The last time I saw you...” Her voice trailed off for a moment - almost sounding sad. “I’m sorry, but you didn’t give me a choice.”

  “Wait, what are you referring to?”

  “The Jahabich. I didn’t want things to end that way.”

  “Hold on, you mean you don’t remember...just a few days ago?”

  A part of me wanted to spring into action, but I hesitated for some reason. Oh, who was I kidding? I wanted to hear what they had to say - to hear if Sally still had feelings for this guy. If she did...

  “Everything is fuzzy. I remember killing Marlene, taking over Pandora, but it feels like there are pieces missing, like maybe I hit my head too hard.” Her voice suddenly hardened. “I do remember you trying to gut me in the sewers, though.”

  The previously sarcastic tone of Mark’s voice changed, dropping down to a soothing quality. “I will admit to overreacting.”

  “Overreacting?”

  Heh, shades of Kill Bill.

  “Yeah. Don’t forget I also had Marlene’s orders constantly ringing in my ears. Thirty years of compelled anger is hard to shake off. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t pretend you don’t. I heard stories about Jeff.”

  “Don’t remind me about that asshole. So how did you survive?”

  “The Jahabich. They’re not what you think and they have access to...well, it’s hard to explain. All I know is they freed me. They could do the same for you. Think about it, Lu - no more covens, no more being a slave to compulsion.”

  Oh fuck. It was the sales pitch - conveniently leaving out the fact that while in his blockhead form, he was pretty much just another node on the network.

  “No more compulsions...” She trailed off, almost wistfully. It reminded me of how good I had it, never knowing what it was like to be mind-fucked by another vampire into doing whatever the hell they pleased. Sally wasn’t usually one to let her guard down, and let me tell you, she had shields that would have made the USS Defiant jealous, but every so often, I caught a glimpse. It was brief and usually followed up by something sarcastic that would kill the moment, but I was finally realizing the real Sally was a lot more complicated than just painted nails, a great wardrobe, and an attitude problem.

  “Exactly. No bending to their will ever again. And we’re going to win too. The vampires and those hairy monsters are both full of themselves, thinking the world will fall to one or the other. They don’t realize there are other forces at play - stronger ones. Older ones. We can remake this world into a better place. Come with me, Lucinda, and let m
e show you.”

  Sally was silent for a moment, sending my “oh crap” meter into overdrive. Surely she wasn’t actually considering it. The Sally I knew wasn’t so quick to jump into bed with anyone...well, figuratively speaking, anyway. Even so, I knew next to nothing about this guy. What had their relationship been? If there had truly been a bond of love between them...

  “I said it once before, Lucinda is dead. My name is Sally, and if you think I’m trading in the small bit of freedom I have to be some granite-covered freak, well, then it’s time you stayed buried in my past.”

  Or not. Fuck, yeah!

  Mark chuckled in response, his voice growing cold again. “A small part of me was hoping you’d say that.” The sounds of feet shuffling could be heard. The time for talking was done.

  I stepped around the corner and found the two squaring off in a storeroom. Shelves reached the ceiling, stacked with boxes of presumably non-perishable foodstuffs.

  “You guys have room for a threesome?” Hmm, that line sounded distinctly less creepy in my head. I really needed to work on that.

  Sally dropped her guard to stare incredulously at me. “You again? Don’t tell me you were eavesdropping because I am gonna rip your balls...ugh!”

  Mark wasn’t quite so sentimental about their past that he was willing to overlook the opportunity for a good sucker punch. “Freewill,” he greeted, showing me his blackened teeth.

  “Well, if it isn’t the ex. Let’s see if we can finally sign those divorce papers.”

  “We were never married, asshole,” Sally snarled from the floor right before slamming a kick into the side of Mark’s knee - a blow that...that did nothing. He barely budged, not even losing his footing.

  He grinned even wider. “I may look like my old self, bitch, but believe me, I’ve been upgraded.”

  That was the last straw. Nobody called Sally a bitch except for me, and maybe my other friends, and probably any vampires who outranked us, but definitely no sewer-dwelling rock assholes. One had to draw the line somewhere.

  Before he could make another move against my friend, I threw myself at him in a dive tackle. Oof! He was right. He might’ve looked like someone who wouldn’t be out of place around my gaming table, but he definitely had the heft of something made from a half-ton of gravel. Even so, we vampires aren’t exactly lightweights ourselves. I might have bruised my shoulder in the process, but we both went down with me on top.