The Tome of Bill (Book 6): Half A Prayer

by Gualtieri, Rick

  He turned toward Alex. “Curious that it came from one of our own while a truce was in effect.”

  “Yet another traitor,” Alex replied. “He was immediately dispatched for his disloyalty.”

  “We seem to have a problem with traitors, I would say,” James added, earning a nasty glare from Alex.

  “Indeed,” Yehoshua replied. “Even more so since none of our elite guard have been to the compromised prefecture. It is most concerning.”

  “What are you implying, brother?” Alex asked, his tone dangerous.

  “Nothing, my friend. We are of the First and above reproach, after all. I do believe it warrants investigation, though.”

  “I would beg to differ. One lone dissident among the bunch shouldn’t require such an expenditure of resources in these dire times.”

  “Perhaps you are right,” Yehoshua said with a measured smile. “But we must not forget this day as we move forward to repair the bridges sundered.”

  And there it was. I was no mind reader, but I was pretty sure that Yehoshua and James had more or less just backed Alex into a corner. They were all “above reproach,” as each had said, thus any divide between them - anything that could cause doubt within the masses - would be a massive blow to Alex’s efforts. No amount of compulsion could contain that kind of dissent forever.

  A moment passed, feeling more like an eternity, when Yehoshua asked, “Theodora?”

  Oh fuck.

  Alex immediately regained his composure. Though his expression was grim, his eyes sparkled as he delivered the news. “Slain...”

  Oh shit!

  “...by the Shining One.”

  * * *

  Alex pointed a finger and a collective gasp rose from the crowd, except maybe from Gan, who continued staring lovingly at me - little freak. Unfortunately, there was that beyond reproach thing again, this time biting us right in the ass.

  “I mourn for my sister, but I say it is fortuitous you have all arrived when you did, for I was just informing the Icon and her thrall,” Alex looked directly at me, “that her treachery effectively nullified our truce. You yourself saw us when you arrived, Wanderer, did you not? She and the witch were poised to attack, hoping to add yet another of the First to the scores of those slain today. Can you deny it, brother?”

  I hoped to Hell James would, for once, drop protocol and tell Alex to go take a flying leap onto an eighteen-inch studded iron dildo, but he simply shook his head. “I cannot.”

  “Then I say, before we can move forward, before we can regain the trust of our allies, before we can once again reassure the world that the First are unbowed and unbroken, we must conclude the matter for which we have gathered. The Icon and, by virtue of their association, the Freewill, the witch, and the two humans must be judged. I say they are guilty. Who amongst you disagree?”

  Fuck me. This wasn’t good. Alex might be in deep shit, but he was still a good swimmer while my friends and I all had hundred-pound anchors around our necks. Worse, Sheila’s aura of faith started to form around her. Don’t get me wrong - I’d fight and gladly die by her side, but I really didn’t want to...at least, not that death part.

  No voices dissented, so I raised my hand in a desperate bid to do anything to change our course. “If I might...”

  “You may not.” Alex’s voice was iron - cold, victorious iron. “You forfeited any say in the matter the second you allied yourself with this creature. And for what - love? An emotion for foolish children, nothing more.”

  Hey! I resemble that remark!

  Sheila glanced toward me. Our eyes met and hers held resolve in them. I desperately mouthed “Wait” to her, hoping for some flash of inspiration, but I could see the sadness in her eyes as she gave but a single shake of her head.

  “I sentence you to...”

  “Wait!” Yehoshua cried, his eyes darkening and his fangs descending. “You speak of love dismissively, Alexander, but I know its wonderfully cruel sting. This abomination has taken from me one who was more than sister in darkness. I claim right of vengeance.”

  “Such is his right.”

  “I am well aware of our laws, Wanderer,” Alex spat. He took a moment and composed himself again, but I could see it was taking some effort. “Vengeance is yours, Brother Yehoshua, so swears Alexander of Macedon. The sentence is death, but I grant you their execution. Dispatch them as you will.”

  Yehoshua stepped forward, eyes still blackened. Sheila raised her sword and her body erupted into white flame. I stepped to her side, close enough to char my skin. Ed took up a spot alongside of me, and Christy and Tom did likewise opposite us.

  “It’s been fun, guys.”

  “A fucking blast,” Tom replied, grinning, of all things.

  “I know this is bad timing,” I turned to Sheila, “but before we die, you really need to know how much I lo...”

  “I will not dirty my hands upon these creatures,” Yehoshua said.

  “What?” Sheila asked, her head alternating between the two of us.

  “Huh?” I muttered, quickly averting my gaze from her piercing silver eyes.

  Yehoshua took a step back and addressed the crowd. “Their sentence is death, but the method is mine to choose.” He looked back toward us, and his eyes had turned back to their normal brown. I expected to see rage smoldering within them, but instead I saw...understanding. “I sentence the Shining One to death at the hands of Vehron the Destroyer. Let these two cancers destroy each other.”

  “What?!” Alex roared. “You cannot...”

  “The right is mine, and my right is beyond reproach, Alexander of Macedon. Do you deny that? Do you break your oath?”

  Alex’s own fangs descended, but he held his tongue. All eyes, especially those of the present First, were on him and he knew it.

  “Very well,” Yehoshua continued. “Her allies are similarly sentenced. They will go forth and face the monster that has breached our walls today. May justice be served in whatever outcome fate so chooses.”

  Murmurs of assent were heard throughout the crowd. I couldn’t believe it. In one fell swoop, we were back on the path we’d originally planned on, this time with the blessing of the folks in charge - sorta.

  I turned to Sheila. “What do you say? I know you didn’t want to do things this way.”

  She considered this for a moment before answering. When she did, it was slow and deliberate. “I didn’t want to be the aggressor, turn into a monster. But if this vampire is the cause of all of this, then he’s a threat to everyone - innocent or not. I say let’s do this.”

  I smiled and made to give her a thumbs-up, but she wasn’t finished.

  “Also, I really want to hear the rest of what you were trying to say back there.”

  “Uhh...”

  “Think about it. I’m sure the words will come back to you.”

  “This all makes for fine theater,” Alex said, barely concealed contempt in his voice, “but we cannot trust them to stay true to their path. To let them walk free without...”

  “If I may, Lord Alexander,” James said.

  “You wish to accompany them? I will not allow it.”

  “Nor would I ask it. There is far too much to be done. The First are no longer whole, and that must be remedied. I was simply going to nominate a trusted minder to oversee that the sentence is carried out.”

  Gan looked up at me, a big smile on her face. Oh no, not her.

  “Sally.”

  “What? You cannot be serious,” Alex spat.

  “Indeed I am,” James replied. “You yourself exonerated her, proclaimed her loyal to our cause. I will likewise vouch for her integrity. I dare say she is also experienced with the foes who attacked us today. Should they indeed be allied with the Cult of Ib, she will prove most useful in devising an appropriate response.”

  “Wait a second,” Sally said, a wary look on her face. “I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I’m pretty sure I’m not the right person for this job.”

  “I con
cur with the whore,” Gan added unhelpfully.

  “Quite the contrary,” James replied, ignoring the munchkin. “You are the perfect choice for all the reasons I stated.”

  “But...”

  “As far as protecting our charge, would I be overstepping my bounds, Brother Yehoshua, if I were to include as part of their sentence that the accused are to make every effort to guarantee our emissary’s safety?”

  “Please indulge yourself, Wanderer.”

  “So be it.” James turned to me. “Freewill, Icon, Magi, and...friends, know that should any harm come to Sally, whatever extension your pitiful lives have been granted, shall be immediately forfeit.”

  Maybe it was me, but I could have sworn James threw a quick wink my way. Whatever the case, I quickly nodded my assent. “I swear, my life for hers.” Glancing back toward Sally, I saw her roll her eyes.

  There was hope for us yet. It wasn’t much and we were certainly walking into a far more dangerous situation than we’d originally thought.

  Even so, it was better than nothing. We had a chance and I, for one, was going to take it.

  The Magically Mystifying Epilogue

  I never thought I’d be so glad to sit on our cheap-ass couch. Once my ass was planted, though, I could have stayed there for an eternity. I really needed a shower, still clad in my burnt up body armor. My clothes smelled like they were close to gaining sentience, but they’d hold for a bit longer.

  More bickering had ensued in the underground halls of the bunker, lasting long enough so that eventually more, including the rest of the Draculas, joined us. I wasn’t overly pleased to see several other high-ranking dick-biscuits had likewise survived the onslaught, Colin and Francois chief among them, but that’s the problem with bad pennies - they keep turning up. Maybe that wouldn’t be the case for long, though. It was hopefully only a matter of time before someone remembered that Colin had been the one to coordinate our arrest - including the assignment of Farley and his buddies. I had a feeling that particular checkmark wouldn’t look all that great on his undead résumé.

  Couldn’t happen to a nicer asshole.

  Alex, unfortunately, would be a much bigger problem. Though he’d been momentarily outmaneuvered by James and Yehoshua, I had a feeling any loss of face on his part would be temporary at best. From what little bit of history I’d read up on him, he was the type who made sure that whoever gave him a bloody nose got their face chopped off in return. If I hadn’t made an enemy of him before, I sure as shit had now.

  Sadly, a lot of questions were still left unanswered. I’d hoped for a chance to speak with James before departing, but Christy had ixnayed that. The moment the majority of the Dracs agreed to our sentence, she’d ordered us to link hands - making a point of grabbing Sally’s, despite her protests. Before we’d even had a chance to offer the Draculas a complimentary “fuck you” as way of goodbye, she’d zapped us out of there.

  I’d been a bit worried at first about our destination. We materialized in an empty room, standing in a metal circle inlayed into the floor. It wasn’t until we stepped out in the hall that the familiar beaten-down wood paneling registered and I realized we were back home in Brooklyn.

  Christy had been drained from the effort and needed to go sit down for a bit. I think she was also bummed to find the place empty - no sign of her new coven about. Seemed the Grand Mentor had been thorough in his attempt to fuck her over. It was small comfort, but at least Gan had made sure he died wishing he’d invested in a couple of horcruxes before showing up and pointing fingers.

  Speaking of Gan, I was happy to say she wasn’t one of the zappees who joined us in New York. Sadly, before we could disappear, she’d thrown out the threat that she’d see me again soon.

  So I had that to look forward to.

  The next hour or so involved us settling back in as best we could. Manhattan was still a fucking mess as far as my roommates could tell me, but life in Bay Ridge was relatively normal - comparatively, at least, and only so long as one was smart enough to only venture out during the day. Regardless, I’d take it.

  Even better, I’d found a message waiting for us on our answering machine. It was from Kara. She passed on her greetings to her brother and left a pathetically thinly coded message - no doubt for the rest of us - about how she’d settled down in Sacramento with some friends. I guess the apple really didn’t fall far from the tree.

  I reclaimed my old bedroom, tossing some of Tom’s shit out into our living room. It was decided the girls would share a similar apartment on the floor below ours for now. What a fucking odd couple pairing that was going to make - a brainwashed vampire, a hormonal witch, and their legendary enemy, the Icon. A part of me was tempted to set up a few cameras for my own personal closed circuit TV. However, I had a feeling that would just get me killed sooner than expected.

  Oh well, it was only temporary anyway. The plan was to spend a few days getting our shit together and then trying to figure out what the fuck we were going to do.

  As much as I wanted to curl up in my room and ignore the rest of the world, it wasn’t wise to stay put for long. The Draculas would almost certainly keep an eye on us, even if we could somehow figure out how to unfuck Sally’s brain.

  There were also the Jahabich to consider. Mark and his insane need to be a psycho ex-boyfriend stalker might’ve been dead, but I didn’t fool myself for a second thinking those monsters would stop. They wanted Ed for some purpose, and we had no reason to believe they’d give up anytime soon.

  * * *

  “You might’ve been better off letting the Dracs keep you locked up, dude,” Tom said as the three of us discussed it in our living room over cold beers.

  I could’ve shed tears of joy as I took a sip. Christy’s sisters might have ditched us, but they’d left intact all of the magical trappings they’d put in place - including a weird glowing ball of energy in the basement that had somehow been wired into the main circuit breaker. I wasn’t sure how long it would last, but it beat the piss out of having to gas up a generator every few hours.

  “Yeah,” Ed replied with a snort, “because being surrounded by a bunch of arrogant asses who would probably take it out on me every time Bill fucked them over would be loads of fun.”

  “Better than being tossed in a pool of orange goo,” I remarked.

  “Can’t argue there.”

  “I’m surprised they even let you go,” Tom said to him. “You’d have made a pretty good bargaining chip.”

  “I find that odd too,” I added. “Hell, they could have at least ransomed your ass. Might’ve gotten five or ten bucks for it.”

  “Very funny.” Ed took a long pull from his bottle. “I was wondering about that too. Truth be told, in those last few minutes, I was close to shitting a brick, thinking they’d let everyone go but me.”

  “Wouldn’t have happened.”

  “Speak for yourself,” Tom said. “I’m pretty sure Christy was done with that fucking place, no matter who was hopping on the bus.”

  “I’m glad we didn’t have to find out.” Ed leaned forward in his seat. “Honestly, I have no fucking idea why they let me walk out of there.”

  “Maybe we should go with Occam’s Razor,” I said.

  “Oh?”

  “The simplest answer is that maybe they just didn’t know.”

  “How so?” Tom asked.

  “Those things kidnapped Ed from Pandora, but none of us had a clue why - hell, we still don’t. Bottom line, though, is that Sally and I were the only others to walk out of there. They never found Ed in their raid on the bunker, and the only one who talked about it was Mark. I honestly don’t think the Draculas had much reason to even begin to suspect they were after you.”

  “Oh, then why was I made an honorary vampire?”

  “That one is still bugging me. It’s possible James was just protecting you until he could figure out what you are.” I wasn’t sure I believed that, though. Sally had told me James was also the one who’d origina
lly assigned her to Pandora - primarily to keep the Jahabich in check. He knew about those things and had at least some inkling as to their threat. But then why would he purposely send Ed to a place within their reach?

  I had no idea on that one. Again, I wished there’d been time to catch up with him before departing. Sadly, the chances of him talking freely while surrounded by thousands of years’ worth of pompous douchebags was probably low.

  We sat there in silence for a moment contemplating this. I was just about to offer the brilliant suggestion for another round of beers when the building seemed to rumble around us. It only lasted for a few moments, but a couple of items fell from their shelves, confirming it hadn’t been our imaginations running wild.

  What the?

  “Earthquake?” Tom asked.

  “No. It was too quick,” Ed replied, his eyes opening wide. “I think that might have come from the girls’ apartment.”

  There was a pause amongst us, no more than a second really. I’m sure each of us was thinking the same thing - just with different faces attached.

  “Fuck! They’ve been roommates for less than an hour.”

  “I know,” Ed said, getting to his feet. “We’d better get down there.”

  Each of the women in the apartment downstairs was capable of their own bit of violent mischief. The only question was who was to blame for taking the first shot.

  * * *

  As the lone member of our threesome with actual super-powers, outside of Ed’s ability to bleed, I bounded down the stairs several steps ahead of my roommates.

  Knowing the three inhabitants, I probably should have taken a moment and knocked. However, I panicked, thinking the worst, and grabbed hold of the doorknob just as it was opened from the inside. My momentum carried me forward and I ran right into Sheila, our faces ending up less than an inch apart...

  For all of the second it took for her powers to activate.

  Thankfully, my roommates were a bit slow in their charge downstairs, otherwise I’d have smashed into them with all the force of a speeding bus. Instead, I was lucky enough to hit the wall on the opposite side of the hallway - load-bearing, from the feel of it - making just as much of a racket as that which had brought us running to begin with.