Please Do Feed the Cat

by Marian Babson

  ‘Thumps? Crashes?’ Karla froze. ‘If they’ve broken any of my antiques – ’

  ‘Why would builders want to move into our house?’ Jack couldn’t understand it. ‘Is it some kind of scam? Do they make all kinds of repairs and changes and then send us a dirty great bill and expect us to pay it? Is that their game?’

  ‘An interesting question, but I think there’s a simpler answer.’ Macho had been listening intently. ‘Would you like to provide it, Cressie?’

  ‘Me? Why me?’ Cressie was all wide-eyed innocence. ‘What have I got to do with it?’

  ‘Come off it,’ Freddie snorted. ‘It’s our business to figure out clues. After what we’ve heard tonight, do you think we can’t put your little two and two together?’

  ‘That’s right,’ Adèle agreed. ‘And I was there when Hilda said she’d read Mooning the Builders and it was so similar to what she was experiencing it was like déjà vu. She thought it was because builders were all alike. But they’re the same builders, aren’t they, Cressie?’

  ‘How would I know? I’ve never seen – ’

  ‘Added to which, I can remember everything I saw while in my trance,’ Macho warned. ‘And more seems to be coming back to me now. Our taxi was followed for quite a while, Cressie … . I can remember you kept looking out the back window and urging the driver to hurry … and to take all sorts of sudden turnings …’

  ‘You’re lying!’ Cressie gasped. ‘You couldn’t remember anything. You were out cold!’

  ‘We lost them finally – and you were limp with relief. But they must have noted the area where we disappeared and come back searching for you. Why do they hate you so much?’

  ‘They … they didn’t like the book about them …’

  ‘Neither did a lot of the critics, but they’re not trying to beat your brains out.’

  ‘Well … maybe the cheque bounced … I lose track sometimes of how much I have in my account. And anyway, they hadn’t done the work – not properly. They were trying to cheat me.’

  And possibly, Lorinda thought, there was a personal element involved, as Hilda Saint had suggested. When Cressie ended an affair, it was unlikely to be with any tact or delicacy – especially when finances were involved. And there was something else Hilda had said …

  ‘Those threatening notes pushed under your door in the middle of the night …’ She turned to Gemma. ‘Are you sure Adele wrote them to Opal?’

  ‘Threatening notes? To Opal?’ Adèle was indignant. ‘I wouldn’t lower myself! And I’d certainly never push them under doors in the middle of the night.’

  ‘And you’re not the sort to let doors slam behind you at that hour, either,’ Freddie said. ‘That’s the sort of thing builders are noted for.’

  ‘Gemma, what makes you think they were threatening Opal – and not you?’ Lorinda asked.

  ‘Why should anyone want to threaten me?’ Gemma was incredulous. ‘What did I ever do to anyone? Apart from a few rejection slips, that is. You don’t suppose …’

  ‘What, actually, did those notes say?’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know … they were awfully vague … “Keep out” … “Mind your own business” … Opal tore them up – she said it was the best way to handle it. I thought she knew what she was doing … I thought they were meant for her. They must have been. Who’d threaten me?’

  ‘Everyone in the village knew you were talking about going to a hypnotist,’ Freddie said. ‘Someone must have been afraid of what you might retrieve from your memory. It might not be admissible evidence in court, but it might be enough to start the police looking in the right direction for proof.’

  ‘Oh, but it didn’t work, did it? I mean, I don’t feel as though anything happened. Anything useful …’

  ‘Don’t you remember what you said?’ Cressie asked.

  ‘Well … in a way … it seems part of a dream …’ Gemma was becoming agitated.

  ‘Never mind,’ Freddie said. ‘We all heard you and we can testify if necessary.’

  Betty Alvin coughed softly and they looked towards her, waiting to hear what she might add.

  ‘Yes, Betty?’ Dorian gave her an encouraging smile. ‘What is it?’

  ‘No, nothing.’ Embarrassed, she shook her head. ‘I wasn’t going to say anything. I just – ’ She coughed again.

  ‘Wait a minute.’ Adele lifted her head and sniffed. ‘Does anyone smell smoke?’

  They could all smell it now – and see it. A dark curl of smoke drifted along the ceiling from the direction of the kitchen.

  ‘She’s left something to burn in the oven,’ Dorian said. ‘Typical!’

  ‘No!’ Abruptly, Gemma was on her feet and rushing towards the kitchen. ‘I haven’t used the oven in days.’

  ‘Calm, please be calm. You should sit quietly for a bit,’ Redmoor protested. ‘And so should you,’ he added, as Macho followed her along with the others.

  ‘You see?’ Gemma turned to Dorian triumphantly. ‘There’s nothing on fire here!’

  ‘No,’ Dorian agreed. ‘The smoke seems to be coming from your back hall.’

  “The hall? The dogs are out there! Conqueror! Lionheart!’ she called.

  There was an ominous silence. Lorinda realized that they had not heard the pugs barking for some time.

  ‘Lionheart! Conqueror! Doggies – answer me!’ With rising panic, Gemma hurled herself at the door and struggled with it. ‘I can’t – I can’t open the door.’

  ‘You’re probably a little weak after your trance.’ Professor Borley stepped forward. ‘Let me try.’ He began confidently, but his face turned puce as the door resisted his efforts.

  ‘Smoke inhalation!’ Gemma wailed. ‘They’re overcome … lying there … still inhaling all that smoke …’

  The smoke was getting thicker.

  ‘Can I have a little back-up here?’ Borley called over his shoulder.

  Macho, Jack and Redmoor rushed to help him.

  ‘Sorry.’ Dorian held back and shrugged to Adèle’s accusing eyes. ‘I’m still recovering from my last war wounds.’

  ‘It must be locked,’ Redmoor said. ‘Where’s the key?’

  ‘Knowing Gemma, it’s on the other side,’ Dorian said.

  ‘No,’ Gemma began. ‘No – ’

  ‘Right. All together now,’ Borley ordered. ‘One … two … three!’ They hit the door. The lock splintered, but the door held.

  ‘It must be blocked in some way.’ Macho rubbed his shoulder. ‘I suggest we – ’

  ‘I suggest we call the fire brigade and get out of here,’ Adele said. ‘Not necessarily in that order.’

  ‘I’ve just tried to call the fire brigade.’ White-faced, Betty appeared in the doorway behind them. ‘There was no dial tone. The line is dead.’

  ‘Nonsense!’ Gemma said. ‘I was talking to Hilda Saint just an hour ago. It was all right then. I told her – ’

  ‘This door is getting pretty hot around the edges,’ Jack interrupted. ‘I don’t think we should stick around here.’

  ‘Oh, but – ’ Only Gemma was prepared to argue.

  ‘Once outside, we can go around the side of the building and get at the hall that way.’ Abby Borley put his arm around her shoulders and led her firmly to the front door.

  Cressie was already there, fighting to open the door. It looked like a losing battle.

  ‘I can’t move it,’ she said. ‘It won’t budge. I can’t even turn the knob.’

  ‘I’ll get it,’ Jack pushed her aside. ‘Sometimes it takes brute force.’ He tried that, then moved aside as Redmoor advanced. ‘Okay see what you can do.’

  ‘It’s no good. It’s stuck or …’ Redmoor looked around at them. ‘It feels as though there’s some sort of wedge under the doorknob.’

  ‘At least the window will open.’ Dorian had been experimenting. ‘It may be undignified, but it looks as though we’ll have to go out that way.’

  There was a sudden outburst of hysterical barks as Dorian slid the window up as hi
gh as it would go and pulled the curtains aside.

  ‘The dogs!’ Gemma gasped. ‘They’re out there! Oh, thank heavens. They’re safe!’

  ‘Which is more than can be said for us,’ Freddie pointed out grimly.

  ‘What … do you mean?’ No, Gemma wasn’t gasping, she was wheezing.

  ‘She means – who let them out?’ Adèle translated, with equal grimness.

  ‘Also – who blocked the front and back doors, leaving us only one way out?’ Freddie was relentless. ‘A way we’ll have to take one at a time.’

  ‘And who’s waiting outside to pick us off – ’ Macho began to cough.

  ‘As we climb out one by one?’ Lorinda finished for him.

  ‘We can’t stay here.’ Tears were beginning to roll down Betty’s face, although not from emotion. ‘Those fumes are noxious.’

  ‘They can’t be!’ Gemma protested. ‘There’s nothing out there but my shopping basket and a couple of pairs of wellington boots. They might smell but – ’ She broke off, coughing.

  ‘Nice playmates you have, Cressie.’ Freddie gave her a cold look. ‘They came prepared to kill us – one way or another.’

  ‘Never mind the recriminations,’ Adele said. ‘We’ve got to get out of here.’

  ‘Quite right,’ Freddie agreed. ‘Who wants to go first? Don’t all rush at once,’ she added, as most of them took an involuntary step backwards.

  ‘Look.’ Only Jack stood his ground. ‘This is stupid! We can’t just stay here and fry!’

  ‘Roast, I think,’ Freddie corrected.

  ‘“With one bound, Jack was free,”, eh?’ Dorian raised a sardonic eyebrow. ‘Go ahead. I’ve always wanted to see how that one worked.’

  ‘Jack’s right,’ Karla said. ‘Let’s rush them! There’s got to be more of us than there are of them.’

  ‘Ah, Americans! So impetuous!’ Dorian said. ‘Unfortunately, all ten of us can’t crowd through one window at the same time. That rather puts a damper on your idea.’

  ‘There are three of them,’ Macho said. ‘Aren’t there, Cressie?’

  ‘I … I don’t know … probably,’ she admitted.

  ‘We’ve got to do something!’ Karla looked around wildly.

  ‘Let me make a constructive suggestion,’ Dorian proposed. ‘Since our friends seem to want Cressie so much, why don’t we let her be first through the window?’

  ‘Dorian!’ Adèle was shocked. She obviously didn’t know Dorian as well as the others did. ‘You can’t mean that!’

  ‘It might work,’ Jack said. ‘I mean, she could keep them busy for a minute while the rest of us get out – and then we can rescue her.’

  ‘Oh, yes?’ Cressie was not the stuff of which sacrificial lambs were made. ‘And how do I keep them from killing me meanwhile?’

  ‘You could always write them another cheque,’ Macho snarled. ‘They might let you live until they find out whether it bounces.’

  ‘The situation has gone beyond Cressie,’ Freddie reminded them. ‘The one they really want now is Gemma. She’s the one who can testify against them. They’ve already tried for her once.’

  ‘They have? You mean – ’ Gemma didn’t want to believe it. ‘Opal …?’

  ‘It was a dark rainy night, you’re both about the same size and there’s the family resemblance. The dogs clinched it. They saw them and thought they had you.’

  ‘And I sent her out with them!’ Gemma wailed.

  ‘That’s it!’ Adele was relieved. ‘And just because Opal and I were rivals, everyone blamed me. Now they’ll have to – ’

  There was a sudden outburst of shrill barks and yelps.

  ‘The dogs!’ Gemma cried. ‘They’ll save us!’ She dashed to the window and called loudly: ‘Conqueror – Lionheart – Sic them! Attack! Attack!’

  There were hoots of derisive laughter in the distance.

  ‘I’m afraid they’ve got the measure of your mutts, Gemma,’ Dorian said.

  ‘What the hell!’ Jack started forward. ‘Things can’t get any worse!’

  ‘Prrryeeeow …’ Roscoe sailed through the open window, Had-I and But-Known following.

  ‘No!’ ‘Oh, no!’ With cries of consternation, Macho and Lorinda stooped to gather up their darlings.

  ‘You had to open your big mouth!’ Karla told Jack.

  ‘Here …’ They had discreetly ignored it when Professor Borley slipped into the bathroom. Now he was back, his arms loaded with wet towels. ‘Wrap these around your heads, they’ll filter the smoke – and they might give some protection when we try the window.’

  ‘Good thinking!’ Jack reached eagerly for a dripping bath towel.

  ‘Can’t we wring it out a bit first?’ Karla complained, holding hers at arm’s length.

  ‘Not on my carpet!’ Gemma winced.

  ‘Carpets are the least of our problems!’ Abby Borley was losing patience. ‘Now – while I was looking around in there, I noticed the bathroom has a transom window opening on to Coffers Passage. It’s too small and too high for our builders to bother worrying about. But – ’ He turned to Redmoor – ‘you’re small enough, young enough and, I hope, agile enough to be able to get through it. If you’re willing to try, that is?’

  ‘Is there a choice?’ Redmoor was already striding towards the bathroom, wrapping a navy blue towel around his head.

  ‘Don’t all follow,’ Dorian warned. ‘They can see in from outside and they’ll get suspicious if the room empties.’

  ‘We ought to turn off the lights,’ Macho said. ‘We won’t be so visible then.’

  ‘I’m sorry – ’ Gemma gave a little whimper. ‘I don’t think I could bear the darkness.’ Lorinda was glad that Gemma made the protest; none of them really wanted to be left in darkness.

  ‘We’ll turn off most of the lights then,’ Macho compromised, and did so, leaving only one lamp in the far corner still glowing.

  ‘He made it on the second try,’ Borley reported, returning. ‘So far, no one seems to have spotted him.’

  ‘They wouldn’t know him anyway, he’s never been in town before,’ Dorian said. ‘Gemma is just a one-night stand for him, so to speak.’ No one reacted, not even Gemma.

  ‘So now we just have to stay here and wait?’ There was a ragged edge to Cressie’s voice.

  ‘Unless you have a better idea,’ Freddie said.

  ‘I think we’ve seen enough of Cressie’s ideas,’ Dorian said. ‘If it weren’t for her, we wouldn’t be in this mess!’

  Not quite. If Macho hadn’t brought her here . . . Lorinda and Freddie exchanged glances, trying not to look at Macho – or Cressie.

  ‘Don’t worry!’ Cressie snapped. ‘I’ve had enough of all of you! As soon as we get out of here – if we get out of here – I’m going straight back to London!’

  ‘I’ll be able to leave, too,’ Adèle said. ‘And no one will be able to accuse me of running away.’

  Dorian could not conceal a brief smile of satisfaction.

  ‘I’ll be glad to see the last of this dump!’ Cressie was not finished. ‘And you – ’ She glared at Macho. ‘You can go back to sleep – or whatever you do – with your tame harem!’

  ‘Harem?’ It was not until Freddie spluttered with sudden hysterical laughter that Lorinda realized Cressie meant them.

  ‘Harem?’ Macho looked at them both and a slow smile began to spread across his face.

  ‘It’s not that funny!’ Lorinda snapped.

  ‘No,’ Macho agreed, but he was still smiling. ‘Perhaps it’s not.’

  ‘Listen.’ Professor Borley called them back to order, one hand upraised in the call for silence.

  The others stood frozen abruptly in listening attitudes. It had suddenly gone unnaturally quiet outside.

  ‘Do you think they’ve gone away?’ Gemma quavered hopefully.

  ‘Don’t bet on it.’Jack was prowling by the open window. ‘I think there’s somebody moving around out there … trying to sneak up on us … What the – ’

&nbs
p; An unidentifiable object flew through the open window. Jack caught it and threw it back. There was a crash as the object shattered on the pavement outside and burst into flames.

  ‘Jeez!’ Jack said. ‘That was a Molotov cocktail!’

  ‘Do they have any more?’ Karla wanted to know.

  ‘We’re gonna find out, I’m afraid.’ Jack flexed his muscles. ‘Get me something I can bat them with – ’

  ‘WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?’

  The sudden indignant bellow spoiled the thrower’s aim. The next missile hit the outer frame of the window and sent a river of fire down the side.

  ‘WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY? I’m not paying you to go out and moonlight on someone else’s building site all day and then play with fireworks all night!’

  ‘It’s Hilda,’ Gemma said. ‘I was going to tell you I invited her to drop over for a drink later. I thought we’d be finished by about now …’

  ‘We almost were,’ Freddie muttered.

  ‘COME BACK WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU! What’s going on here? If you think – ’

  A siren sounded in the distance, approaching rapidly.

  ‘Jeffrey has made it!’ Gemma exulted. ‘The dear boy has brought help! I hope it’s the fire brigade … although the police …’

  ‘At this point, I’d welcome the Boy Scouts,’ Dorian said. ‘We’re in no position to be choosy.’

  ‘Cressie was true to her word,’ Macho said, a trifle smugly. ‘I understand she barely paused in London long enough to pack and she must be in New York by now. With any luck, she’ll stay there.’

  ‘Don’t you think she’ll come back for the trial?’ Lorinda pondered. The police in the next county had caught the fleeing builders, initially for speeding, compounded by resisting arrest and driving an unroadworthy vehicle while banned from driving at all. There had been plenty to hold them on before the additional charges of homicide, arson and attempted murder came through.

  ‘Not if she can help it,’ Macho said. ‘They won’t bother about her, her evidence isn’t necessary. Gemma is the main witness.’

  ‘It’s so nice of Professor Borley to take both Gemma and Betty to Cornwall for a fortnight’s holiday,’ Lorinda said. ‘They were badly in need of it – and I don’t think they could have afforded it by themselves.’