Choices

by Annie Brewer

  “Oh look at you two. It’s picture time.” My mother snaps a few pictures. I do a few more poses on the stairs too, before I hear the door-bell. My heart pounds in my chest at the anticipation of seeing Carter in a tux. I take a deep breath, looking back at my parents and see them smiling, and then I open the door.

  Chapter 42

  The sight before me had my eyes bulging out of their sockets and my breath caught in my throat. Carter looked like he had just stepped out of a GQ magazine in a dashing solid black tuxedo with a white dress shirt peeking out underneath, black tie and black belt to complete his ensemble. Even his dark shoes looked polished. I wasn’t used to seeing him this dressed up and I have to say, it was quite a sight.

  “Wow.” I hadn’t realized I said it aloud until Carter stared me up and down and said, “You too,” smiling. I blushed.

  He takes me in his arms and kissed me until I was breathless. My father cleared his throat, reminding us they were still in the room. We broke apart and I giggled, a little embarrassed. “Okay, picture time. No complaining Gracie. This is Cinderella perfect.” I shrugged but obeyed my mother.

  “You look gorgeous, Gracie.” I smile, holding his hand.

  “Even with a balloon belly?” He snorts and then looks serious.

  “Pregnant or not, you’ll always be beautiful in my eyes. But I have to say, pregnancy does suit you fairly well.” I stare into his eyes, feeling a tear fill mine. “You ready?” I nod and kiss my parents as we walk outside. I look around for his truck but instead find a black limo parked on the street, in front of my house.

  “Carter, what’s this?” He grabs my hand and ushers me to the nice vehicle, which still puzzles me.

  “This, my love, is our ride to the prom.” I stare at him, eyes wide. Is he freakin’ serious? I’ve never ridden in a limo.

  “Really?” He smiles and kisses the back of my hand.

  “I want this night to be perfect for you. A night you’ll always remember.” It seems to be the statement of the day. I start to jump and down in excitement but stop myself. I doubt Kylie would appreciate being tossed around, even if she’s squished in my womb with no extra room to move. I kiss him hard and slip inside when he opens the door for me.

  I gawk at the long black leather bench seats. I look up and see the driver smiling at me. I smile back, looking around the spacious seating area and see a mini refrigerator. I wonder for a moment what it would be like to have a drink, though I quickly dismiss that thought since A.) I am pregnant and B.) I am not of age. As if reading my thoughts, Carter opens it and grabs a bottle of water and hands it to me. “Thank you.” I say as I take in the cold drink. He grabs a bottle of coke for himself, closes the fridge and turns back to me.

  “What do you think?” I look wide eyed at him.

  “This is incredible. I’ve never ridden in a limo before. I wish Meg were here. She’d freak out. We always talked about riding in one to our prom.” I stop thinking about Meg and curl up beside Carter, content. He wraps his arms around me and I relax, basking in the warmth he brings.

  “Is this better than my truck?”

  “This is…it’s a pleasant surprise. Thank you Carter.” He kisses the top of my head and a sigh escapes my lips. I bring his hand that is intertwined with mine to my lips and kiss his fingers softly. He leans in and addresses the driver.

  “Excuse me, sir?”

  “Call me Mitch please.” The driver says.

  “Okay, Mitch can you please close the window? We’d like some privacy.” Mitch smiles and nods politely at Carter, then he gives me a wink before closing it, leaving us alone. It’s quiet from the radio being turned down.

  A wave of apprehension fills the pit of my stomach. I swallow, closing my eyes. Is he gonna try and seduce me in the limo?

  “Hey, is this okay?” He gestures to the limo again.

  “Seriously, it’s perfect. I don’t know why you keep asking. How much did it cost you?”

  “Does it matter?” He asks, rubbing my knuckles gently with his thumb. I can’t concentrate on anything but the tingling sensation coursing through my veins.

  “I guess not.”

  “You only have your senior prom once. I wanted it to be special Besides, my prom sucked. Well the one I went to my Junior year before I left my school. I went with some bitch who was so self-absorbed. She was a senior. But I ended up leaving her ass and going to a party in which led me to fight some asshole. The whole thing turned out to be a disaster.” Listening to his past experience reminds me of my prom last year with Nick. I enjoyed it, but he doesn’t really dance. So I mostly danced with Meg. Mason danced with us too. But somehow I know, this prom is going to be epic.

  “I wish Meg were here. She’d love riding in this.”

  “She’ll get to ride in it to the after party.” I perk up, beaming.

  “We’re going to the after party?” I ask. I didn’t really consider going, not really. It’s at a fancy hotel and most people will be there, getting drunk. I can’t drink. But I suppose there are other things to do there. Kylie starts to stir, making me uncomfortable. I shift my body to the other side, resting my arm over my belly protectively.

  “I wanted to talk to you about something before the night started and I forgot.” I eagerly await and glance up at his face as he smiles down at me. My heart rate picks up at the expression he shows.

  “Okay, well I’m just going to say it.” Oh my God, is he proposing? Oh shit. “I know we’ve been through a lot in the short time we’ve been together. And I know there have been so many changes in your life. Many you weren’t expecting at this point.” I swallow hard, wondering where this conversation is really headed. Would I say yes if he proposed right now? Am I ready? I’m too young for marriage, which sounds stupid since I would be too young for a baby too. Just shut up and let him talk, my subconscious tells me.

  I smile and let him continue. “So I was thinking, would you like to move in with me?”

  “I do.” Wait, what? Move in with him?

  “Uh.” My face flushes in embarrassment due to my misinterpretation.

  “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. Forget I just said that.” I look away, and then glance at him again. “Please.” He chuckles and then puts on a serious face.

  “Okay, would you like to move in with me? I know it may be too soon and I understand if you’re not ready. It is a big step. But I want to be there for you and Kylie. If you want to go to school, I’ll take care of her. If you want to work, I will take care of her too. Either way, I’ll be there...for both of you. I don’t need an answer now. You can take as long as you need to think about it. I don’t want to rush you into anything you’re not ready for. But I just want to assure you that you don’t have to do this alone. You won’t be alone.” My heart soars with excitement. Knowing my answer already, I keep it to myself. I will think about it and surprise him later. I smile to myself.

  “Okay, I’ll think about it.” I kiss him fiercely, all of my love pouring out of me, in such intense passion and desire. My tongue is urgent, rubbing against his. I can’t move fast enough to get as close to him as I want to be. Instead, he moves his body toward mine, crushing me into the seat.

  “Shit, I’m sorry.” He says against my mouth, and then backing up a little. I smile, my mouth never leaving his.

  The limo stops, throwing him into me again. “Fuck.” He says as he peels his body from mine. “I guess it’s our stop.” We both laugh and I silently apologize to Kylie for the jolting movement. Carter shifts to sit beside me, trying to catch his breath.

  “Damn, Kylie is making this making out and stuff difficult.” I say, catching my own breath. Carter laughs and rubs my belly.

  “Yeah, but she doesn’t have too much longer. Hopefully before your graduation she’ll be here and we can really celebrate.” He winks at me, I blush. Damn, I forgot to apply blush to my cheeks. I hate that I’m so obvious.

  I hug her affectionately. Once upon a time, seeing someone rubbing a pregnant bel
ly would have made me uncomfortable or laugh. But experiencing it firsthand and feeling her grow inside of me has changed my perception so much that it makes me understand why people do that. My need to protect her and make her feel safe is fierce. I love her so much and I haven’t even met her yet. I’m ready to meet her.

  “You ready?” Carter asks as the driver, Mitch opens the door. Carter steps out and reaches for my hand. “Thanks Mitch. We’ll see you in a bit.” Mitch nods and gets back in his vehicle.

  “You kids have fun.” I wave at him and Carter guides me into the school. People stop and stare at us in fascination or jealousy. I take Carter’s hand again as we enter the school.

  The prom theme is City of Lights in Paris. As soon as we enter, I’m awestricken by the decorations. The walkway is so magical. There’s a brick road platform, with grass-like stuff on both sides. An Eiffel tower is lit up, illuminating the place. The fireworks background looks real, lighting the area. There are trees and flowers lining the walkway and the lamp posts are glowing. The whole set up makes you feel like you’re in Paris.

  “This is unbelievable!” I squeal in awe. He squeezes my hand.

  “They really did a great job. It makes you want to go to Paris, doesn’t it?” I nod, unable to take my eyes off the scenery. I am putting that on my bucket list.

  “Oh hey, smile for the camera.” Carter nods his head in the direction of the photographer. We smile and post as the picture is snapped.

  “Isn’t this fucking amazing?” Meg glides around the smooth floor as we make our way into the throng of students. I see a lot of seniors I recognize and some that I may not have noticed in my four years of attending.

  “Yes, Meg. It’s amazing. Mouth, please.”

  “Hey, I don’t have much longer. I’m milking it for all I can.” I laugh.

  “Do you really think she will be able to stop cursing? She’s a sailor. I don’t see her accomplishing that goal.” She sticks her tongue out at Carter but then laughs. I don’t want Meg to change, just tone down the profanity a notch, maybe two. But then again, I’m a hypocrite-which I need to start working on as well.

  The lights are dim and the music is loud-Kesha is playing. My hips begin to sway without my consent. But then I feel Carter’s hands pulling me as close as he can get me. I wrap my arms around his neck, moving in rhythm to Tik Tok-a least favorite of her songs.

  Mason and Meg are next to us, getting their groove on. Carter and I are laughing, especially when Mason busts a robot move. Carter looks down at me, smiling. I bat my long eye lashes flirtatiously.

  “So how was the limo ride? We are so going to ride in it to the after party.” Meg sidles beside us, swaying her hips.

  “What, my car’s not good enough for you?” Mason feigns hurt.

  “Really? Honey, when it comes to limos, no car is good enough. I mean, of course its good enough doll face. I was kidding.” She makes a kissy face at him then turns to face me and gives me a “yeah right” face. I look away laughing.

  “Hey want to help me get some drinks, Carter?” Mason asks as he begins to make his way to the punch area.

  The music changes pace. Bruno Mars blares on the speakers with Grenade.

  “Yeah, coming.” He kisses the top of my head. “You thirsty?”

  “No, I’m okay for now. Thanks.” He smiles, then follows Mason, leaving Meg and I together. I stop dancing and find a seat, feeling slightly out of breath. My feet throb and my back needs a good popping.

  “Hey.” Meg takes a seat beside me.

  “Hey, y’all are the cutest couple ever.” I say nodding to Mason on the other side of the room, his back turned to us.

  “As if. Maybe after you and Carter. He looks fucking hot as hell in that tux. I mean, he looks great. Sorry.”

  “I love you and your mouth Meg.” She laughs and nudges my shoulder. “By the way, Carter asked me to move in with him.” Her eyes bulge out of her oval-shaped face.

  “Oh my God. Are you serious? Holy shit! When?”

  “In the limo. I told him I would think about it but I’m going to say yes. In my own way, make it a special and surprise him” She throws herself at me, catching me off guard.

  “I’m so sorry Kylie, but your mommy is so awesome! You’ll see when you meet her.” She tells my belly once she removes herself from my body.

  “Ha ha yeah, well it’s thanks to you and your pushiness this is happening. I owe you. My life feels so complete with you, Mason and Carter in it. And soon Kylie will make me the happiest woman alive.”

  “Hey Gracie, you look incredible.” I look up and see Jana standing in front of me, along with her three fans. They all smile at me. They are all wearing long gowns, different colors and shiny shoes. Their hair is pulled back in elegant buns on top of their heads.

  “What do you want Jana?” Meg asks, irritably.

  “I just want to say you look great. I’m sorry again Gracie, for everything I’ve ever done. I’ve been so mean and I understand if you both still think I’m full of shit. But, I wish you the best of luck, with the baby and all.” And then she leaves. Meg and I are dumbfounded.

  “Did she just say sorry and really mean it?” I had heard her say it once before. Meg wasn’t there and I think it shocks her more to hear the word come out of Jana’s mouth. “I didn’t know if she knew what the word meant.”

  “Uh huh.” I look over to my right and see Nick sitting with a bunch of people. He’s wearing a white suit with white shoes. His blonde hair is slicked back-and he’s staring back at me.

  “I’ll be right back.” I tell Meg and make my move before she can stop me.

  I approach him, unsure what to say. I should have thought this over.

  “Hey.” I say, sitting down next to him. “You look really good. Who did you come here with?”

  “You look…beautiful Gracie.” He smiles, giving me a once over.

  “Really? He nods, rising up out of his seat. He extends his hand toward me. I just stare at it for a minute and then shift my gaze to his sad eyes.

  “Come on Gracie. Just one dance.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I say shaking my head.

  “Please? I promise I won’t try to kiss you again.” I glare at him and his attempts at making me feel better. Just then the music changes to a slow song. I catch sight of Meg and see her sitting with Mason and Carter. They are chatting away. I slowly rise and take his hand. “One dance.” He nods in agreement.

  We approach the dance floor with a bunch of other couples macking on each other. I lay my left hand on his shoulder, taking his other hand with mine. His hand rests on my back loosely, while we sway to the music. We are both silent, lost in our own thoughts. My eyes wander to Carter; he’s staring at me and smiles briefly when our eyes meet, before he looks away. Shit, I hope he doesn’t misunderstand this.

  “I’m sorry I kissed you the other day.” I pull back to look at him. His eyes show sincere. It breaks my heart a little to hear his voice, filled with guilt.

  “Why did you do it?”

  “You know why.” He looks away.

  “I want to hear you tell me why. I’m sick of playing games and having to guess your intentions.”

  “I still love you Gracie. I guess I just wanted to kiss you, even if you love Carter. I can’t change that.”

  “Then why are you trying to hurt me some more?” He bites his bottom lip as his eyes trace my face.

  “I fucked up. I’m sorry. I lost you and I know it was my fault. God, I was such an asshole and now I’m too fucking late. It pisses me off that I lost you to him.” He begins to back away but I keep a firm grip on him. His eyes start to water, making me feel worse. He did this to himself. Don’t let him manipulate you.

  “I’m leaving this weekend.” He says. Confused, I tilt my head to the side in question.

  “Where?”

  “California. I want to get settled in early.” Oh of course he does. And he wants to run away.

  “You’re not w
alking the stage?” He shakes his head.

  “I’ll get my diploma mailed to me. I need to get out of here ASAP.” Because of me, just say it…coward.

  “I’m sorry Nick. I never planned this and I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  “I’m the one that hurt you. I was a selfish asshat.” Tears form in the corner of my eyes, I avoid his gaze so he doesn’t see them.

  “Can I ask you something?” I look up and nod. He wipes a tear that is falling down my cheek. “Can you send me pictures of Kyile? Maybe just send letters and tell me what she’s like?”

  “Of course.” I whisper with a hoarse voice.

  “Thanks.” I clutch his shoulder. “You know this feels weird. I mean the space that is between us.” I nod, a small smile on my lips. It is weird dancing with a huge belly sticking out, though she sits low and perfectly snug.

  “Jana apologized to me earlier and wished me luck. I felt like I’d been sucked into an episode of the Twilight Zone.” A vibration from his throat erupts.

  “Wow, that’s a first. She’s never used that word before that I know of.” We both laugh and for a split second it almost feels like old times-Nick and I laughing comfortably, no strain or tension or complication. But it doesn’t last long. He pulls back then glances toward Carter.

  “I have to go.”

  “Wait, stay. Hang out with us.” I nod to my friends. He steps back from me.

  “I can’t Gracie. Go, have fun with your friends. Enjoy your last prom. We’ll see each other again.” He kisses my cheek and leaves me once again, staring after him.

  Chapter 43

  I feel numb and I’m not sure why. I watch his back disappear into the crowd. It’s better this way. I try to convince myself.

  “May I have this dance?” I hear Carter’s voice from behind me. I turn around and face him.

  “Of course.” I take his offered hand and he wraps his arms around my waist. I throw mine around his neck. I wish I was closer to him. I feel like crying.