In Hope's Shadow

by Janice Kay Johnson

  She scrunched up her face. “Oh, poop.”

  He tipped his head. “Is that an okay word?”

  “Poop?” She giggled. “Of course it is. There’s a book, you know. It’s called Everyone Poops. Really,” she assured him, seeing his expression. “My teacher read it to us last year, in kindergarten.”

  “Good God,” he muttered.

  Rachel decided she was tired and needed him to carry her. He had been pleasantly surprised she’d made it this long, and crouched so she could clamber onto his back. To her delight, he jogged toward the parking lot, circling back a couple of times to Eve, whose face was lit with laughter.

  Beautiful. His heart constricted painfully. Thank God neither Eve nor Rachel seemed to notice.

  He’d promised pizza on the way home, but wasn’t surprised to look in his rearview mirror and see that Rachel had nodded off, her neck bent awkwardly.

  They’d just reached the city limits when his phone vibrated. He glanced at it, and tension gripped him. The caller was Jen Nysether, the lab tech from CSI he knew had Gavin’s shoes. “You have something this fast?” he said.

  “I do,” Jen told him. “It’s blood, and it’s a match for Clement Rowe’s. As it happens, only about two percent of the population have B-negative blood. We’ll run the DNA for confirmation, but I think this is enough of a green light for you to bring in the owner of the shoes.”

  “I owe you one.” He ended the call to see Eve watching him. “The blood type is a match,” he said.

  “Oh.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “Oh, thank God.”

  “I have a neighbor who will watch Rach.” He kept his voice down, hoping she wouldn’t hear. In the rearview mirror, he saw that her eyes had opened to half-mast.

  Eve shook her head. “Why don’t you drop us off at my place? I’ll take her out for pizza, or order one in. She can use my bed if she needs a nap.”

  “You don’t mind?”

  “Of course not. I have fun with her. Plus...” Sparks lit her eyes. “I assume you’ll be arresting him.”

  He allowed himself a smile that might have scared her under other circumstances. “I will.”

  “You won’t go alone?” Eve sounded anxious.

  “No, I’ll call Seth, and if he’s tied up, I’ll find somebody else.”

  “When this is all over,” Eve declared, “I’m going to track down Officer Pruitt and give him a piece of my mind.”

  Ben laughed.

  Rachel protested until she learned she’d get her pizza and could stay with Eve until Daddy was done. When Ben dropped the two of them off, Eve gave him a last look.

  “You’ll let me know? So Joel can be released?”

  “I will,” he promised.

  * * *

  EVE HURRIED INTO juvenile hall, relieved when she spotted Ben and Seth but no Joel. It had taken her a while to drop Rachel at her parents’ house, along with one hyacinth in bud.

  Both men turned when they heard her footsteps.

  “Does he know yet?” she asked, sounding breathless after her mad dash from the parking lot.

  Ben grinned. “Nope. We figured you could give him the news.”

  “Thank you.” She lifted her face for his kiss, then blushed when she remembered Seth was there. “I have a problem, though. The Santoses have filled his bed. In a pinch they’ll put an air mattress on the floor for tonight. I have a couple of other calls in, but—”

  “I can take him,” Seth said.

  Eve knew her mouth had dropped open. “But...”

  “I’m licensed.” He looked a little embarrassed. “There was that kid last year. No, I guess he wasn’t yours. But, uh, he needed short-term placement. I imagine the license is still good.”

  “You did say something.” She only vaguely remembered, except his willingness to take in a kid in need had made him even more appealing to her when they started dating.

  “Why didn’t I know about this?” Ben asked.

  “It’s not something we usually do,” Seth muttered, “so I didn’t advertise it. He was only with me a week or two.”

  Relieved, Eve said, “If you can keep Joel until I find a place for him, that would be great.”

  He moved his shoulders, looking uncomfortable. “No, I talked to Bailey, and she’s good with this. We want him to stay with us until he leaves for college.”

  Of course Bailey would be good with it. Eve was disconcerted to feel the sting of tears in her eyes. Ben wrapped a long arm around her. “Hey. You okay?”

  “Yes. Just...” She offered Seth a wobbly smile. “This is amazing. Thank you.”

  “Ben tells me he’s a good kid. I’ve watched him play ball a few times. What did you say he’s decided on, the U of O?”

  “Yes. Unless...”

  His expression hardened. “I’ll take ’em on if they try to weasel out.”

  She had to hug him, murmuring a “Thank you” in his ear. He hugged her back. Then she left the two of them waiting and went in to get Joel.

  When he shambled into the conference room, he looked scared. “I didn’t think you’d be back so fast. Did something happen?”

  “Something did.” Eve smiled broadly at him. “Detective Kemper arrested Gavin for murder. We just need to do some paperwork, and you’re out of here.”

  He burst into tears. Ignoring the guard, she put her arms around the hulking boy who had such a sweet nature, he’d gotten to her in a way most of her kids didn’t.

  Eventually, Joel swiped his tears on his shirtsleeve. “Do I go back to the Santoses’?”

  “No, I have a permanent placement for you.” She still had trouble believing it. “You’ve met Detective Chandler, haven’t you?”

  Joel drew his head back, alarm in his dark eyes. “He was there when I was arrested.”

  “Yes, but he’s been helping Detective Kemper prove you didn’t have anything to do with Mr. Rowe’s death.” She smiled. “My sister, Bailey, is going to marry him. She’s in college in LA, but as soon as she graduates next month, she’ll be up here. You’ll be living with both of them.”

  “But... I’m turning eighteen in less than a month.”

  “Seth wants you to stay until you leave for college.”

  He battled tears again, his face working furiously. “Really?” he finally got out.

  “Really.” She squeezed his arm. “What do you say? Shall we blow this pop stand?”

  A huge grin spread on his face. “I don’t know what a pop stand is, but I really want to get out of here.”

  “Then let’s do it.”

  * * *

  THE LAWSONS HAD said Rachel could spend the night, but Ben and Eve decided to pick her up anyway.

  On the way, Eve mumbled, “I wonder if Mom would have let her sleep in Hope’s bedroom.”

  Startled, Ben glanced at her. “Did you want to?”

  Her face went through some contortions. “Well...not really. I mean, I would have been afraid to touch anything. It was supposed to stay exactly the same, you know.” She brooded for a minute, then grinned at him. “I really wanted that bed, though.”

  She had to explain that it was a canopy bed, and then what a canopy bed was, but finally he got the gist and gave the engine a little more gas. Forget dawdling.

  “God, I hope your mom doesn’t show Rachel that bed.”

  Eve laughed. “Because you’d have to get her one.”

  “She has princess aspirations. You know that.”

  “And the room is pink, too. Really, really pink.”

  “You’re scaring me.” Although he wouldn’t mind painting Rachel’s bedroom, assuming he was allowed by the rental agreement. He’d have to check.

  Karen and Rachel answered the door together. They looked really happy, and somethi
ng smelled good.

  “We baked,” his daughter announced.

  Ben inhaled. “What did you bake?”

  “Cookies! Two kinds,” she added with satisfaction. “Chocolate chip, ’cuz those are my favorites, and some that are really dark.”

  “Ginger-molasses,” Karen explained.

  Eve moaned. “Those are my favorites.”

  Her mother smiled at her. “I know they are. That’s why I made them.”

  “Oh, Mom.” Suddenly Eve dropped her bag and flung her arms around Karen.

  Ben put a hand on his astonished daughter’s shoulder and nudged her gently toward the living room, where Kirk had risen to his feet and was watching his wife and daughter. He wrenched his gaze away to smile at Ben and then Rachel.

  “You’ve got my wife dreaming of grandkids, you know.”

  “Is that like sugarplum fairies?” Ben asked.

  Kirk chuckled. “I’m afraid so.”

  Ben’s senses were still attuned to Eve. He strained to hear her low words.

  “I’m sorry, Mom. So sorry.”

  He couldn’t make out what her mother said in response.

  “I’ve been really silly.” Eve’s voice hitched. “I always felt loved. I did. Can you forgive all my whining?”

  More murmurs. Kirk was looking past him, Ben saw, and finally he had to turn to look, too. Eve and her mother clung together. He could see only Karen’s face, wet with tears.

  Emotion balled in his throat.

  “Daddy?” Rachel tugged at his hand. Her face was tilted up, and he could tell she didn’t understand why neither man was paying attention to her. Because she’s completely secure, he realized, remembering what Eve had said that once. Whatever Nic and I did wrong, it wasn’t this. Our daughter knows how much she’s loved.

  Eve, he thought, was beginning to know the same.

  “Karen said we could all have some cookies. Do you want one?”

  “Yeah.” He smiled and bent low to whisper in her ear. “Maybe ten.”

  She giggled in delight. Out of the corner of his eye, Ben saw that the two women had separated, and that Eve’s face was wet, too. She was also smiling, though, tremulous but somehow radiant at the same time.

  A band tightened around his chest.

  She gave a sniff. “Cookies, huh? I’d better go mop up so I don’t make mine soggy.”

  Rach thought that was funny.

  He glanced at Kirk, to see a look in his eyes as he watched his wife that was meant to be private. How many years had those two been married? The constriction in Ben’s chest tightened. He wanted what they had.

  They all ended up sitting around the dining room table drinking milk and eating cookies, with more heaped on platters in the middle. The two women had puffy eyes, but every so often they smiled almost shyly at each other. Kirk didn’t have much to say, but he never did. Ben made some effort, and his motormouth daughter filled any silences.

  And, damn, but those cookies were good.

  Somehow, he wasn’t surprised to find himself clutching a plastic container full of them when it came time for the three of them to leave.

  Having to drop Eve off at her place was the one bummer. He and Rach walked her up. Rachel hugged Eve goodbye, and he kissed her lightly.

  “Will you come over tomorrow?” he asked.

  Her eyes searched his. “Do you want me to?”

  “Do we want Eve to come over tomorrow?” he asked Rachel.

  “Can she?” She bounced a couple of times. “Can she, Daddy?”

  “We want you,” he said, hearing the extra huskiness in his voice.

  “Okay.” Pink-cheeked, she tore her gaze from his to smile at Rachel. “Do you like tacos?”

  Rachel did.

  “I’ll bring the ingredients for lunch,” Eve promised.

  “Deal,” Ben said, backing away. He really hated to go. “You’re sure...?”

  Her rolled eyes said she knew what he was asking. “I’m sure.” Her door closed firmly, leaving him and Rachel on the other side of it.

  He looked down at her. “Guess we’re on our own.”

  Retaining her grip on his hand, she said, “It’s practically tomorrow, Daddy.”

  He grinned at her, gave a last glance at the door, and said, “You’re right.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  WHEN THE KNOCK came on Ben’s door, Rachel panicked. “I don’t have Elsa! Where’s Elsa?”

  Elsa, Ben was all too well aware, was her doll based on the queen from the movie Frozen. The one she’d watched eighty-nine million times. She had the Anna doll, too, but Elsa was her favorite. Elsa’s hair was the same color as hers, she’d explained, plus Elsa wore a crown.

  Princess aspirations.

  “Go,” he said. “Find her.”

  Laughing, Eve said, “I’ll help.” The two of them headed for the bedroom. They would do better finding Elsa than he would. He hadn’t seen the doll since that morning, if then. He’d ended up going into work for a few hours today, partly to meet with the attorney Lynne Carter had hired for her son. The son who, reportedly, had attacked a guard last night. Ben had noticed that the attorney repeatedly referred to his client’s mother, but never to the stepfather.

  Eve and his daughter had seemed pleased when he made it home an hour ago, but he didn’t have the feeling they’d languished in misery without him, either.

  Ben let Nicole in. She was her usual put-together self. She never went anywhere without makeup that enhanced her vividly blue eyes and darkened the arch of her eyebrows. She still had the figure for pale blue skinny jeans, with which she wore heels. He’d never gotten that, but she’d insisted her legs looked short without heels. Her hair was loose and shining. He had the thought that she hadn’t changed that much from the girl he’d fallen in love with. Whereas, he thought wryly, he didn’t look much like the skinny, tongue-tied boy he’d been the first time he set eyes on her.

  “Hey,” he said. “We were all ready, but Rach doesn’t know where Elsa is. God forbid she go home without her.”

  Nic made a face. “I wouldn’t hear about anything else.”

  “I doubt she’s really lost.” He felt strangely awkward. “More like momentarily forgotten.”

  She nodded. For a moment, neither said anything. Should he invite her to sit down?

  But then, she fastened her blue eyes on him. “Ben, since we have a minute... I’ve been thinking. A lot.” She gave a small shrug. “We have quite a history.”

  Feeling wary, he didn’t know what to say but, “It’s true.”

  “I’ve been...thinking I blamed you when I felt unhappy, and it wasn’t you at all. I’m willing to work on that.” Her lips formed a moue. “I know you’re dating Eve, but... I miss you.” Never looking away from him, she reached up to caress his cheek. Voice soft, aching with regret, she murmured, “Is it too late for us, Ben?”

  Momentarily staggered, he didn’t move. He grappled with a realization that, not so long ago, that would have had him dropping to his knees in gratitude. Nic wanted him back.

  For a moment—no longer—he felt something. Wistful, maybe. It was a shadow of what would once have been a firestorm. This was the woman he’d thought he would love forever.

  Now, a familiar if cynical thought sneaked in. Had she liked knowing he still loved her from afar? Was she reacting to the threat she must sense Eve was? Calling him back to heel?

  But even that didn’t last long. Because the truth was...she’d killed his passionate devotion. Whether she really missed him or not no longer mattered.

  He stepped back, so that her hand had to drop to her side. “I’m sorry, Nic.” He tried to sound at least a little regretful. “It is too late. You’ll always be the mother of my daughter, but—” Nothing more. He didn’
t finish the sentence. Didn’t have to.

  Oh, hell, he thought suddenly. Eve.

  He turned to see her standing at the opening to the hall, her expression completely unreadable. Her gaze moved from his face to Nicole’s, where it lingered before meeting his again.

  “Disaster averted,” she said with what he guessed was deliberate lightness. “We found Elsa. Rachel decided she needed to use the bathroom again, though.”

  God, he hoped she hadn’t misinterpreted what she’d likely just heard—or the fact that his ex-wife had been cupping his jaw in her hand.

  He held out his own hand to Eve. “Come here. You two haven’t officially met.”

  She took his hand, hers chilly but warming within his grasp. Ben performed the introductions. The two women were polite, although he saw a dangerous flash in Nicole’s eyes. He didn’t kid himself he was breaking her heart, but he’d stung her pride. There was no getting around that.

  Rachel dashed out, saving the day. She remembered the hyacinths and hurried to fetch them from the kitchen windowsill. Nicole at least pretended to appreciate hers. He could tell she didn’t like the fervent hug Rachel gave Eve, though. He said his own goodbyes, and then they were gone.

  Eve stepped back. “It’s time I take off, too,” she said, very pleasantly.

  * * *

  SHE SAW ASTONISHMENT on his face, mixed with something else. Guilt? Please, not guilt.

  He frowned. “I was hoping we could have dinner.”

  “Ben, I haven’t gotten a blessed thing done this weekend. I really need to do a load or two of laundry and some ironing this evening.”

  “You iron?”

  She found herself laughing at his surprise. What a thing to latch onto out of everything she’d said. “Yes, astonishingly enough, I do.”

  “Oh.” He had a strange expression on his face. “I guess I just need to come out and ask. How much did you overhear of what Nic and I said?”

  “Not very much.” I saw her touch you. Did that count?

  “She has it in her head that we should reconcile,” he said bluntly.

  Dread gripped Eve, even though she thought she knew what he’d told Nicole. I have to believe, she thought desperately.