Overlord Brawl: Book 1 of the Neon Octopus Ally Series

by L. A. Johnson

  Several things happened when she finished saying the number eight. One, Froggy fired a missile right at her, which turned out to be a very good thing because Mantix had zeroed in on her and charged the second she had started counting down and if she hadn't moved to dodge the missile, then she would have lost her head. She would have still been alive, since she was immortal, but she wouldn't have been nearly as pretty.

  The missile landed nearby, but it would have missed her anyway. "What is wrong with your aim, Froggy? It's like fighting an eighth grader." That done, she turned to Mantix. His first pounce had barely missed her head, she had felt the air move as he whizzed by and it made her angry. She reached out with a tentacle, grabbed one of his legs, and twisted until it snapped.

  Mantix roared in pain and then listed over onto his side.

  Then she turned back to Froggy. "Time for some tough love, loser."

  Froggy launched another badly aimed missile at the charging Soda. She watched it go past her and turned to see where it would end up. Ironically, this time it was headed, accidentally, straight toward Mantix. Mantix, unable to move quickly due to his injured leg, had decided to turn back into Floyd.

  Boom.

  Ouch, thought Soda, that one had to hurt. Oh well, she turned her attention back to Froggy and his robot which was apparently now out of missiles. She could see Froggy's fingers moving across the controls and clicking the buttons, but no more missiles were coming.

  "I've got you now, you greasy, jerk, Overlord wannabe." She stood face to face with him while he continued trying to push buttons.

  "Why isn't this remote working?" he screamed.

  Soda looked around to see who he was talking to and figured he must have a few minions nearby.

  "Are you kidding me?" he continued ranting. "I think it's the batteries." There was a justifiable panic in his voice that made her want to kill him even more. He finally looked up at her, pushed one more button, and then threw the remote at her. She dodged several inches to the left, avoiding the small device easily.

  "I'm only going to ask you this one time, Froggy," she said. She sent tentacles to wrap around his head, neck, and torso. His eyes got wide and he tried to back up, but there was nowhere to run. "And please understand that if I don't get the answer that I want, you are done. Living. Forever. I think, I mean, you look like an organism that needs air, am I right?" The tentacle around his throat squeezed and held for a moment, just enough for his face to turn purple. He fought and scratched against the tentacle and she let him fight, but he was no match for her strength. Then she released him.

  He coughed and gagged and sucked in air.

  "Yes," she said. "You need air to live. And I need to know where Drexyl is. Don't toy with me, don't waste time, and don't lie. Try any of that and it'll be the last thing you do. Now, where is he?"

  "I have no idea," Froggy said. "I saw him on your ship. When you were doing your Vlog. That's it. I never met him. I don't have him. I have my own people, and I've never kidnapped anybody. You've gotta believe me," He said. "Help!" he yelled toward the crowd, or maybe to his minions. It was impossible to be sure who he was talking to and she didn't care.

  "Well," she said, "it wasn't nice knowing you." She wrapped three tentacles around his throat and squeezed. Not like before. She wasn't toying with him or scaring him or bluffing. This was cold, hard, steely anger. She didn't know who to believe or what to think, but somebody had taken Drexyl and somebody was going to pay.

  His face turned a satisfactory shade of purple, then an alarming shade of red, and then started to fade into a grimy green. His eyes became bulging and stared straight ahead. His hair still sucked, all stringy and greasy and long. And still she squeezed harder and harder.

  "Enough, Soda," said a voice nearby. A new voice. Ray's voice.

  "Butt out, Bozo the magician," Soda replied without turning around. "And you'll be next."

  "Don't you mean butt out OR you'll be next?" Ray asked. "Because if I butt out, then you're not supposed to kill me. Isn't that how it works?"

  "Says who? And I'm definitely killing you next, Ray," Soda answered. "I warned you last night to stay out of my way. I'm tired of all of this. Forget politics, forget sneaking around. One of you idiots took Drexyl, so I'm going to kill all of you right here and now and get it over with. The sooner I'm back in power, the sooner everything can settle back down."

  "I have something for you that might change your mind," Ray said calmly. "Now let Froggy go."

  "Give me one good reason why I should," Soda said.

  "I'm here," Drexyl announced.

  At the sound of his voice, Soda turned to see if it was true. It was. He was standing there, and he looked okay.

  "Let him go, Soda," Ray said again.

  Soda was so happy to see Drexyl that she did let Froggy go, but only to figure out what was going on. "Who took you, Drexyl?"

  "It was me," Ray said. "I took him."

  Soda frowned. "Then you texted me this challenge and pretended to be Floyd?"

  "Yes," Ray said.

  Soda tapped a tentacle on her cheek to gather her thoughts. "That means that you sent the mysterious message to Floyd and made sure that the surveillance video of you tricking me went to Froggy as well."

  "Yup."

  "Why?" Soda asked, but she didn't wait for an answer. She launched herself at Ray and wrapped herself around him.

  "AAAiiiiieeeeeeeya." Soda wrapped all the way around his luxurious robe and his stupid hat and she squeezed. She had waited a long time to see Ray's face turn an unhealthy color. "You've interfered in my business for the last time, Ray." Sure, Soda thought, she'd rather be killing Mantix or Froggy, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

  Froggy would be easy enough to finish off later, he was near dead as it was and she'd find a way to take out that awful insect. I gotta start somewhere, so it may as well be here, she thought.

  "Soda, no!" Drexyl shouted.

  "Stay out of it, dear. You have no idea what I've been through," she answered.

  "He had to," Drexyl said. "He only took me and set all of this up because something's wrong with the galaxy, or will be soon, or something." He scratched his head. His gorgeous hair only got more adorably mussed. "It's all kind of confusing, but he didn't hurt me. He didn't hurt anybody. He had to set you all up to try and kill each other so he could save all of you. And the galaxy."

  This made Soda let go of Ray for a moment. He collapsed to the ground. She turned to face Drexyl. "You can't possibly believe the sentence that came out of your own mouth just now, Drexyl, dear. Did Ray give you drugs or hit you over the head or something? You honestly think he kidnapped you and set us all up to kill each other to save the galaxy instead of to take the Overlord position for himself once we're all dead?"

  "I know it’s hard to believe," Ray whispered in a hoarse voice. "Especially when you put it like that, but it's true."

  "Okay," said Soda, still not believing a word of it, "tell me, Drexyl, what exactly is good old Ray here saving the galaxy from?"

  Soda was still standing there, tentacles on her hips and waiting for an answer from Drexyl when a spaceship and two portals appeared in Arcturis square with them. "What the-"

  The spaceship started to descend, but the two circular blue portals were already on the ground and monstrous creatures began to pour out of them. The creatures were at least twelve feet tall, powerfully built, and reminded Soda somehow of giant, living chess pieces. A couple of the chess pieces crossed to the statue at the center of the square and worked together to knock it down.

  "Rude," Soda said, "that statue was commissioned twelve hundred years ago and cost a fortune in Galactic Credits. And it's irreplaceable since the sculptor died years ago in a pie eating contest."

  Ray and the others stopped to stare at Soda. "What? Out of all of us, I'm the only one with actual Overlord experience. And believe me, if you don't find detailed information about officially commissioned city landmarks interesting, then
you- my nonfriends, are attempting to break into the wrong profession. Besides, what in the name of worm ridden space is going on here? These people are almost as rude as that Staar bounty hunter, Spika. The one that I killed."

  "Fleek killed Spika," a voice said behind her. It was Kirian.

  "Nobody asked you, Kirian. What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you were done with your warrior ways."

  "I was nearby watching the live feed on the news. I'm not done being a warrior. Not by a long shot. I'm done being a warrior for you."

  Kirian finished speaking but nobody was listening. Soda and Kirian and Froggy and even Floyd at the other end of the square, were watching the giant figures take up positions on the edges of the square. The gaggle of reporters and onlookers in the corner screamed and relocated to what they hoped would be a safer space.

  "Hey!" Soda yelled. "Whatever this is, can you people come back later? We Overlord candidates are kind of in the middle of something here."

  The spaceship landed, and a long-haired warrior guy got out, a beaming grin on his face. He had somebody with him, somebody smaller, and when Soda squinted, she could see Ari. Ari's hands were bound somehow, and he had a gun to her head. "Ladies and gentlemen of Arcturis, be very alarmed. We do not come in peace." His voice must have already been connected to a speaker, because it was broadcasting loudly.

  Soda turned to Ray. "You're the damned Oracle. You couldn't be bothered to give us a heads up on this?"

  "I've been saying for days that something bad was going to happen, I just didn't know exactly what," Ray answered.

  "You people are useless!" Soda said to the other Overlord candidates. Then she slithered over to where the predator wannabe was mugging for the media. "What exactly is going on here, you third rate sci-fi knockoff?" She thought she was finished but the whole thing was bothering her. "You're here like ten seconds with your I don't come in peace schtick and then you go straight to press conferences? Who do you think you are?"

  He turned to face Soda. Ari was struggling to try to both move and speak and still had the weapon pointed at her head. "I'm Kruxx, baby. And this is an invasion. As of right now, this entire backwater galaxy is under new management."

  "Like hell it is," Soda said. "If you want to take over this galaxy you'll have to get in line behind the rest of us. You can just take your chess pieces and go right back to where you came from before you get hurt. Hey," Soda said, frowning, "how did you do that?"

  "Do what?" Kruxx asked politely. "Invade this square? Kill a bunch of people taking over Vega? Enslave animated chess pieces to do my bidding?"

  "Get Ari to shut up," Soda said. "This is literally the longest I've ever been in her presence without hearing a snide remark."

  Kirian arrived just behind Soda, sword drawn. Lightning fast, she brought her sword down across the arm that was holding the gun to Ari's head.

  Soda watched with interest. He needed to be taken down a few notches anyway, and she waited to watch his arm get lopped off. It wasn't to be, though. Kirian's razor sharp sword did no damage whatsoever to the naked arm of the idiot, who continued to grin. "You guys don't know it, yet, but you're in a world of trouble. In fact, I'm here to negotiate your surrender. And I have a perfect record."

  "How did you do that?" Kirian asked. She didn't wait for an answer, though. She whirled and punched at his face. He caught her fist easily, pushed her back, and kicked her. She landed with a thud. Then there was a pause before Kirian dragged herself back to her feet. "You're using a force field?" She spat blood. "You know that's cheating, right? Lame."

  "I wouldn't call it cheating so much as failing to lose." He gave a complicated hand signal to his blue chess pieces, who pulled out weapons and started shooting civilians.

  Ari continued her silent, helpless struggle.

  Soda looked around and frowned. This was indeed unwelcome and unexpected. "Stop," she told him, holding up a tentacle. "Fine. You interrupted us, and you're obviously here for a reason, so let's get to it. No need to start killing off the population. What kind of people are you, anyway?"

  Floyd had limped over in the meantime and was standing with them opposite the invader.

  "I told you. I'm Kruxx. And the people that I represent never, ever lose. You asked what happens next? We negotiate. You give me what I want, and I take it. Along with your unconditional surrender, and then we all go on with our lives. Well, most of us anyway. Or you refuse and you all die."

  42

  Fleek woke up refreshed. He sat up on the bed in his cell and stretched. Then he went to the door and waited for the guard who would let them all out for breakfast. Finally, it was his turn.

  "Great morning, don't you think?" Fleek asked cheerfully.

  The guard took out his stun gun and scowled at him. "Don't make me use this."

  "Oh, don't worry," Fleek said, "you won't ever have to use it again."

  The guard backed up a few steps, then got on his walkie and called for backup. "I think we have a threat. Yeah, Section B, Cell 342."

  Fleek held his hand up. "It wasn't a threat. I just meant that you won't need to use your stun gun on people anymore. Because the world's about to end. Or something."

  "Cancel that," the guard said, "just bring a psych team."

  "I'm not crazy, I'm here to save the universe," Fleek said.

  The guard shot him a look.

  "Okay, you got me." Fleek said. "I was exaggerating. I'm not really going to save the whole universe, just this one particular galaxy. Can I go have breakfast now?"

  The guard got back on his walkie. "Have the psych team meet him at chow. I gotta finish my rounds or this floor will get ugly fast."

  He motioned Fleek on his way.

  Fleek continued happily on to breakfast. The Fractal had promised him that this breakfast would be his last in prison. He sucked in a deep breath and looked around. He wanted to remember everything. Even though he was only here one night, this prison experience was his and his alone. The fractal taught him that. His journey, every minute of it, was important. Every person, place, and experience he ever had was essential to his Fleekness.

  In his effort to look around and experience prison, Fleek bumped into somebody.

  "Hey," a large fellow with a month of beard growth growled at him.

  "Good morning," Fleek said. "How about that Fractal last night. Am I right?"

  "You’re Fleek, right?" Without waiting for an answer, the guy took out a shiv. Fleek saw the flash of metal and took a slight step to the left. The other inmate stabbed forward and made contact. Not with Fleek, but with a passing guard.

  Within seconds, whistles were blowing, people were shouting again, and weapons were pulled out. "Everybody back to your cells," a nearby guard yelled, blowing his whistle.

  Fleek continued to the kitchen line to grab his food since nobody else was in line. How lucky for me. The food service worker, on autopilot, threw the food on a tray and handed it to him. He accepted. When he turned to sit at a table, three guards surrounded him.

  "I said back to your cell, prisoner." The guard tried to grab his tray, but Fleek was faster and pulled it away. "Hey, I'm hungry. I was promised breakfast."

  More stun guns came out and aimed at him. He'd have put his hands up but was still holding his breakfast tray.

  A voice sounded on one of the guard's walkies. Something about a nutcase with a Mohawk. "Where is this guy? I'd like to make friends," Fleek said.

  "Is this him?" one of the guards asked. "The one the psych unit is looking for?"

  "Hold him," came the voice on the walkie.

  New people came and got rid of the guards. They also had stun guns but were dressed better. "Let's go talk to someone that can help," one of them said. "We'll even get you some new drugs, okay?"

  "I'm good," Fleek said. "All I need is breakfast. It's very important that I eat breakfast, can I take my tray?"

  They nodded, and Fleek went with them. Out of the kitchen, through the prison, past the administrati
ve offices, and finally to a locked passageway. They pushed a button. A buzz sounded, and the door opened. They all went in. They led him to room 304. It had an open door and a nice lady sitting behind a desk. She asked him to sit. He did.

  "Hello," she said. "Let's have a nice little talk about reality."

  "Sounds fun," said Fleek, taking a bite of his food finally and looking at his watch. "I have to go after breakfast. I have very important things to do."

  "Yes," the lady said calmly. "So I heard. Something about saving the galaxy?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

  "Yup." He wolfed down more food. It wasn't great, but he'd had worse.

  She cleared her throat and continued, "That's what I'm here to talk to you about. You're not going to save the galaxy today."

  "Yes I am. Well, not just me. I'll have help."

  "No, you won't."

  "Of course I will. You'll see."

  She sighed. "You do realize that you're being held in a maximum-security prison. On basically no bond. And that right now you're in a triple secure psychiatric holding ward, right? You're not going anywhere. Probably for the rest of your life. Facing that, with your history, I guess your little break with reality makes sense."

  Fleek nodded and tried to choke down the last of his biscuit. "You got any coffee?"

  She thought for a moment while she scratched above her left eyebrow. "Sure, why not." She pushed on her intercom and asked for two cups of coffee to be brought in.

  "Never mind," he said, swallowing hard and then clearing his throat. "I got it down. Wow, that biscuit was really dry. But look, I finished everything on my plate. That means breakfast is officially over, right?"

  "Yeah, sure," she said. "I guess breakfast is done. Can we continue our little talk now?"

  "No need. It's time to go," Fleek said.

  "Where exactly do you think you're going?" she asked.

  "To the Crown conference room at the Galactic Ambassador Hotel and Conference Center," he answered.

  This news obviously surprised her. She sat back in her seat and blinked at him several times. Then she smiled. "You're original, Fleek. I'll give you that. And clever. And kind of cute. But let me be clear that you aren't going anywhere. You'll be here for lunch. You'll be here for dinner. Tomorrow, next week, next year, and twenty years from now. In fact, you'll probably be here long after I've moved onto other things. But until then we may as well get along, ok?"